6 MONTHS LATER...

my life these last 6 months have been wild after that night that happened with von i end up moving to New York i need a fresh start honestly, i haven't really been myself i haven't slept , ate or anything i had been stressing a lot and i honestly couldn't of end up losing the baby my doctor told me i was high risk pregnancy and that i had to stop putting stress on me and the baby

i honestly never told von or anybody about the move and honestly i didn't want any problems von had already put so much stress on me with the last pregnancy i didn't need his stress now but somehow i knew he knew about the issue that was going on , every other week i would get my favorite flowers sent to my house after every appointment for a month straight with no card i knew it was him only person who knew my favorite flowers was von

i appreciate it don't get me wrong but i didn't wanna hear from him i didn't wanna get these random flowers or gift i knew sooner or later those gifts/flowers turn into pop ups and i didn't wanna be face to face with him not yet at least i was still hurt by the shit he did to me

it's been a while since me and von actually talked or seen each other, he try to call but i ignore his calls and text at some point i just changed my number i won't even reply to his mother and sister i tried to communicate with them but they always have to be messy about it  relaying messages that i never even said or just being shady i tried to ignore it till it got too much for me so i changed my number i haven't given to anybody not even my sister

i also end up blocking them off social media i completely cut von off it was honestly the best solution for me and mine and kept me from falling for his charming ways even tho i missed him i just couldn't put my self into that situation anymore i had to think for myself my daughter and this baby and my happiness not his anymore this time it is all about me i kept my word

once i left von i had been going to the studio alot i end up writing this song and i called it toxic i had put a lot time and effort into this song and i was nervous at first to play to somebody or even let the world hear it but soon i got over it and just dropped it and it has been getting a lot support and loved and a lot women in toxic relationships reached out to me and was telling me their story and honestly i was glad that my song was speaking to people

who can relate to being in that toxic relationship that you can't let go when you know deep down inside you need to but sometimes that toxic love really makes you feel the most loved till you don't anymore and felt so good to see that i wasn't the only who was in that situation

i end up writing this song right around the time me and von was dating and the song was definitely about us and the toxic shit we had to deal i was working on a album at the moment and it was basically everything that had been going on in my life from my mother to my pregnancy to von breaking my heart all in this album

i knew if people loved the song toxic i knew this album was gonna relate to a lot women out there i put my blood sweat and tears into this album i just want everyone to love it just as much as i do when making it

beside my album dropping soon and this pregnancy i also had some problems with my mom trying to contact me once but ignored her i just didn't wanna deal with her and the bs lies she gonna tell me i had my own shit to worry about and not a women who couldn't be a damn mother to me in first place she only contacting me now cause she sees me doing good for myself she wants to be involved in my life

it wasn't gonna happened my mother never wanted me before and she needs to keep the same energy my sister has been telling me to give her a chance since she did but i'm not she wants to have a relationship with her then fine so be it but it won't be with me or my kids

my mother is just gonna have to realize that not everything is gonna go her way anymore i wasn't gonna allow her to be in my life anymore i wasn't gonna give a fuck no more i tried my best with her in the beginning and nothing worked for us one of the reasons why i moved to New York to get away from the bs that both my mother and von have caused me and to also pursue my dream to become a famous singer

so far that's exactly what happening with the way my song was hitting the charts and i was getting calls left to right about doing performance i end up doing the performance for billboard i figure they would be a better situation for me and my career and i was asked to perform honey for the first time ever i was excited and nervous but i knew i would kill it

✨ Vote&comment ✨

sorry for the mistakes