Kehlani POV

I looked out the window trying to figure out how my life became what it is now how i end up in this situation , how i end up motherless, how i let a man damaged me and  how i let my life go down the drain i know im being dramatic but it feels like i let alot of thing happened to me 

i  thank god for sending someone like von to me i know he did some messed thing in the pass but i can see him changing for the better which why i still do love von and i know i'm stupid for even still loving him but how can i  not when he shows me everyday how much he cares for me and our kids 

sometimes i do regret how things end with us but at the same time im happy those things happened because von noticed his wrong and has been trying to fix everything  he truly shows me everyone how much he loves me im happy i gave him this chance again i just hope he doesnt make me regret it 

i sighed as i looked out the window still thinking about my mother i honestly i wish i could change alot things in my life one of them being my relationship with my mother i wish i could have a better relationship with her i wish she didn't hate me i wish she loved me 

just as much as i love her she might think i hate her but i dont i truly love my mother she means more to me then anything but i cant allow the things she does to me to go unnoticed anymore  "why you thinking so hard" i turned to see von walking in "just a lot on my mind that's all"

he sit down next to me "wanna talk about it" i looked at him and i was a little scared on if i should tell him after a while of fighting back and forth with my mind i couldn't hide this from him "i just have wish my life didn't turn out the way it did i wish i had better life a better mother i wish she loved me" i said sighing  

"i just feel like if i didn't go through half the shit i did i wouldn't be in the bullshit i am in" i sighed i just didnt get how someone like my mother could sell me off to someone destroyed my life she didnt care about me but yet i cared so much about her 

"lani it's not you just gotta understand that god put his strongest solider through the hardest battles because he knows you'll over come it" von said i took his words in understanding what he was saying his right god put me through this because he knows i can overcome this and i'm going to overcome this for me and my child

"thank you for the advice" i really appreciate von for everything he has done for me he really shows me everyday why i trusted him again i got up and walked up to him i wrapped my arms around his neck 

"your beautiful" he said looking into my eyes he wrapped his arms around my waist we slowly moved closer to each other before our lip crashed into each other mine and his lip were in in sync with each other  we pulled away from each other 

he looked at me for a good minute "maybe i should give you good advice more oftened" i chuckled a little as i smiled at him he smiled at me we let each other go "im going out with durk and herbo ill be back in an hour can stay here till i come back?" he asked me 

"yeah thats fine just let me know when your on the way ill make us dinner tonight" i said as i walked out behind him i texted lexis if she could pick something up and dropped them off she replied back fast 

"okay lani ill see yall later" he said kissing me on the cheek and rubbing my belly he smiled and walked out the door i went to the kitchen to start preparing the veggies before lexis comes 

NEW CHAPTER NEXT TUESDAY @8PM CST

SORRY FOR THE MISTAKE

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