There is self harm content in this first chapter only, there will be two little lines around it to separate it from the  rest of the story, so if you don't want to read it just don't read between the lines (ba dum tss)

I flipped the small sticky note in my hand, the last thing my family will have of me. I looked at the words written on the note, they had to be perfect.

Dear Mom, Dad, and Mason,

I know this was unexpected, but I just can't do it anymore. The people at school were too much. You tried to help me along with Clover but it wasn't enough, they were the only thing I could think about, the words they said have been drilled into my brain and are the only things I can think about. I'm so soorry, but this is my final goodbye.

I shook my head, I had tried to get my words on the note so fast that I ended up misspelling sorry. I took my pencil and erased the word rewriting it properly. Perfect!
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I placed the note on the mirror in front of me and looked at the mirror, I was truly hideous. My face wasn't tan enough even though I tried to tan every day outside to get it perfect, it was just wasn't good enough I was still somehow pale like a ghost. I weighed 150 pounds and I was 15 years old, while others would argue that it was a healthy weight for my age, it has been drilled into my mind that I was too fat and I shouldn't weigh this much so I was constantly starving myself. My wrists already had scars on them from cutting a couple days ago.

I looked at the drawer under my sink and pulled out the carefully hidden razor blade I kept. It had blood all over it, my blood. I breathed in ready to feel the relieving pain. The one that takes me away from the troubles of the world. I'll never have to worry again.

I put the blade over my old scars and started to cut.

One. It stung for a couple of seconds but it felt good.

Two.

Three.

Four. This isn't enough to kill me I'll have to go deeper.

Five. I cut deeper than all the other ones, it hurt badly but it was what I needed to kill myself.

I kept going till both my arms were covered in cuts, there was no way I would be able to survive this there was too much blood for me to. You couldn't even see my arms or the cuts just bright red blood.

I looked into the mirror at my hideous ugly self. I deserved this, I shouldn't be here, the world doesn't need me. I laid down on the ground and waited for all my blood to leave me. Finally I'll be happy.

My vision started to fade, my world becoming nothing but darkness. Goodbye Mom, Dad, and Mason, I love you never forget that. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and hit my arm causing my arm to sting as it went into a cut.
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There was nothing but blackness and I couldn't move. Anytime I tried to move my arms, legs, or try to open my eyes, I couldn't I felt nothing but dead weight. If this is what death is like then I'm not sure if I like it.

"Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are...." I felt my body tense up, if that was even possible. My mind started racing through all the possibilities, something's going to eat me, they're going to cut me into pieces!

"Up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky...." It's probably just some kid singing it nothing to worry about.

"Twinkle twinkle little star..." No the voice... No voices are too deep to be a kid's voice, and it's slowed down. They're really here to kill me... Again!

"How I wonder what you are." The voices got closer, causing my mind to panic, this shouldn't be happening. I felt the razor blade being lifting from my hand, I'm not dead, I know that know but I'm on the verge. Mom, Dad, Mason where are you?! Why aren't you here?!

"Twinkle twinkle little star, " the voices started to get quieter again. Then my hearing started to go away till I couldn't hear anything along with my thoughts, I went from on the verge of unconsciousness and death to unconscious and possibly death.

My eyes fluttered open to see my bathroom, just as peaceful as ever. My arms had dried blood all over them and the white tiled floor now had crimson red on it around my arms. I didn't die... Great, I wasn't prepared for this, my parents will probably hate me now. I felt like something happened during my unconsciousness but I couldn't remember, probably just Mason asking if he could have his girlfriend over for the night, it happened quite often. My mind started racing with all of the possibilities that might happen. My parents might hate me, they might be concerned for me and try to help me even though it won't work, my brother might distances himself from me and never come out of his room again my whole family might in that case, oh my god.

I took my first step towards the door slowly reaching towards it. As much as I hoped that none of the above would happen, I had a sickening feeling that one of them would, I was prepared for the worse.

I wrapped my hand around the knob feeling the cold metal I was familiar with. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. Just walk out the door. I let my breath out and opened the door expecting to see my family in the living room and I did but not how I expected.

My mom laid on the floor, naked. Her body was bruised and beaten her eyes wide open in horror. My dad was loosely hanging from the ceiling fan, a bucket of throw up next to him. I looked into the bucket and it made me want to throw up in the bucket as well. Inside the bucket was not only puke but also chewed up body pieces, fingers, toes, bits of tongue.

I pulled away from the bucket and looked at my father again, the way his body hung from the rope you could tell he was alive for a while. The rope was just tight enough so he couldn't escape but loose enough so he could breathe until the rope cut into his neck cutting off circulation after maybe an hour or two.

I turned away from my father a couple of inches and saw my brother, or what was left of him. His body parts that were left were cut into small pieces, hands with fingers missing, his feet were missing entirely, his face had no eyes or tongue.

I didn't want to believe it but my mom had most likely been raped, my brother was cut into pieces and my dad was hung and had people force cannibalism on him, the people who wanted to live were dead and the one person who wanted to die was alive.

Tears pricked my eyes, I fell on my knees, covered my face with my hands and let the tears flow freely. I was not calm at all, my tears came in waves and loud sobs causing my voice to crack. I would not let the people who did this get away with it. For the first time since I woke up I'm glad I'm alive, I have a purpose now. Find the people who did this.