「 top!draco // bot!harry 」

it's 2 in the morning, what am i doing with myself?

look, i know you don't want to talk to me, or even to see me ever again. and i understand.

but i miss you. 

i miss you so much, it hurts. 

and god knows how tired i am of all these bullshit feelings. 

i want them to go away, but they won't.

i'm so tired of waking up in the middle of the night, crying quietly to myself because i miss you.

i'm so tired of seeing you just walk pass me like i'm nothing.

i'm so tired of trying to act normally, because i'm not.

i don't feel okay, i just don't.

i'm pathetic and hopeless. but who cares?

i only need you to care.

i regret all the stupid shits i ever did to you, i shouldn't've taken you for granted.

i know you're toxic and you're dangerous.

yet, i still find myself yearning for your love. even when it never was for me in the first place.

i know one day, i'll be happy when you're happy with someone you love

... but not today.

and sometimes, i can't help but asking myself... what could have happened if i had taken your hand. could there have been an us?

。harry james potter