~*~ ACT 1 AIRPODS ~*~

The Pretender was alive, and she was wearing Airpods. She walked towards RCG. 

"Morning RCG, What are you wearing? Wired earbuds? God, you're poor." The Pretender said.

"Don't those things die every hour or something?" RCG asked.

"Don't be stupid, RCG. Airpods never die."

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The Pretender was at a child coffee shop, a shop built by children and ran by children.

The Pretender was given her coffee.

"Thank you." She drank the coffee that was given to her.

She made a sour face.

"By chance, did you make this with alkaline?"

"You didn't? Okay, yeah don't worry about it."

She waited until the waiter walked away.

"Alexa, open Yelp." 

The Pretender had an Alexa attached to her Skirt. 

"Opening Yelp." Alexa said. 

-----------------------------------

RCG was listening to music on her Android with wired earbuds. 

The Pretender ran over and cut the wires with scissors and ran off. 

"GET RICH." She yelled.

"DUDE THIS THESE TOOK ME MONTHS OF PLANNING TO STEAL." RCG yelled.

------------------------------

The Pretender was on a roof, overlooking the large city at night. 

RCG, who's now wearing Airpods sat next to The Pretender. 

"Must be a little cold up here, huh?" The Pretender asked.

RCG had no response. 

"I said it must be a little cold outside because-" 

RCG took off her Airpods. "Oh sorry, my Airpods PRO has noise canceling so I couldn't hear you," RCG said, trying to flex.

"P-Pro..." The Pretender took out the Airpods. "I'M BROKE AGAIN."

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~*~ ACT 2 AIRPODS PRO ~*~

The Pretender bought the AirPods pro.

"OOP! I'M RICH AGAIN!" The Pretender yelled in celebration. 

Five was staring at The Pretender.

She looked at him. "Ah, I can't hear you. Huh? You weren't saying anything? Well even if you were, I wouldn't able to hear you little dum dum."

-------

The Pretender was on another roof, sitting in the sun.

"Hey Alexa, what time is it?"

"It's Te-" Alexa got cut off.

"I DIDN'T FREAKING ASK." The Pretender yelled.

"wow okay then ya brat." Alexa said. 

"Ugh, Robots am I right?" The Pretender said to herself. "Can't do anything right."

"that is a robophobic response?" Alexa asked.

"Shut up." The Pretender said.

"ಠ⌣ಠ" Alexa somehow said. 

------

The House children were in a city's alleyway. 

"TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF, TAKE IT OFF." Six and the other house children chanted to Mono who was about to take off his paper bag.

The Pretender was watching from a porch above.

Mono took it off, revealing his beautiful face. 

and he was wearing AirPods.

The House children screamed in joy and Mono watched, smiling.

"What version is that? The version 1 Airpods? Didn't know it was throw-back Thursday." The Pretender said, making all the children look up at her. 

"Uhm, it's actually home-made... It took lots of work to do, but it was fun crafting Airpods-" 

"Wow, homemade. What trash, you should be ashamed of yourself. If you wanna wear your bootleg Airpods that look like hearing aids you better put that paper bag back on that hideous face of yours." The Pretender said.

Mono, starting to cry, put the paper bag back on as the other House children screamed at him to stop. 

------

The Pretender was looking down at RCG on a roof now. 

"Hey RCG!" She called out to her, making RCG look up at her.

The Pretender started moving side to side while making wooshing sounds. "That's me dodging broke people problems. That's called a meme RCG, google it."

"I know what memes ar-" RCG got cut off by The Pretender.

"Better yet, I'll google it." 

"ALEXA DEFINE MEMES-" The Pretender said. 

--

The Pretender was looking down at The House children again, they were trying to cheer up Mono. 

"HEY, YOU GUYS MIND KEEPING IT DOWN? Yeah, not that I can hear you but I just don't like seeing you moving your lips."

"DUDE, CAN YOU LEAVE US ALONE?" Six yelled. 

"What? The noise is canceled and so are broke people problems." The Pretender said. 

"WHY YOU SO MEAN?!" Two yelled.

"Honey, I'm not mean I'm just spitting the truth." The Pretender said.

"No, you're not. You're just a bully." Two said. "You probably don't have any money either and just stole the Airpods.

"UGH, I CAN'T HANDLE THE ENTITLEMENT. I GOTTA SEPERATE FROM YOU FOR A BIT. UGH." The Pretender walked off.

"Ok Karen." Six said.