CATALINA,

I wish to hold you. To keep you safe in my arms. There is not a night that I don't spend longing for you and there is not a day that I do not spend thinking of your touch.

The guilt and shame of this life and the decisions we make eat me alive as I lie awake and I know now that I cannot keep things from you any longer. I found myself in the strange position of having the beginnings of feelings for another woman. Every moment I spent with her was like being ripped apart, and I agonized in her arms knowing that I was betraying you.

If you do not want me anymore I do not blame you, and if you do not want to speak to me again I surely understand. I betrayed you in the worst of senses, and I broke my vows all in the same, and it will be the greatest shame of my life that I have done both of those things.

The woman who clouded my affections and stole me from you for mere moments is gone now, taken from me by an arrow in a battle I never wanted to fight in. With her dies my broken oath...with her and this letter. But I trust that you will never see me the way that I see myself. If my life is what it costs me to tell you the truth then so be it, but I want no secrets between us.

I am undoubtedly sorry for what I've done, both to her and to you, and if you can find it in your heart to offer forgiveness, I know I would not be worthy of it in this lifetime.

JON