*****minor plot edit explained at the end of the chapter*****

CHAPTER NINE: THE GUN

"you aren't even his family"

—

INDIANA HAD ALWAYS KNOWN HER FATHER WOULD WALK HER DOWN THE AISLE.

Some other girls in school didn't like their dad— which she understood to a degree, at least with her birth parents — but that wasn't the case for Indiana.

She and Shane had always been close. When they did hero projects in school or wrote letters to their favorite people, or even drew pictures of the thing that inspired them most; it was always Shane for her.

He was like her knight in shining armor, coming into her broken castle and slaying the monsters of her childhood, brandishing his sword high in the sky and declaring her his kin.

She'd never felt safer than when she was with him. And the apocalypse hadn't changed that.

In fact, it was the opposite. The fear she felt in losing her father, a crutch in her life, the only person she truly felt a belonging with was the one person she would never lose.

By any means necessary.

—

"Why would Andrea shoot Daryl?" Indiana asked Glenn in bewilderment.

Glenn sighed. "He was out hunting, I guess he went through some cathartic...something. Came back with walker ears around his neck, he was hurt, I think, and limping, and Andrea shot him."

"Why?"

"I think she thought he was a walker."

"I mean," Indiana frowned, "I know Daryl kind of stinks sometimes, but he's not gonna eat people. I actually think God'll have to come down himself and kill Daryl because the walkers ain't gonna do it."

Glenn laughed at her words. "Seriously, that guy could live off bricks and a pile of grass."

Indiana chuckled at his words, thoughts drifting to the redneck. She liked Daryl well-enough and was hopeful he was okay. According to Glenn, it was just a graze, but she hoped he would be walking soon. She knew he wasn't the kind of person to sit around aimlessly. He was restless, like Indiana.

"I'll go check on him later," Indiana suggested. "Cheer him up a bit."

Glenn snorted. "Good luck with that," he shook his head. "I think it would take a miracle to make that guy smile."

—

It didn't take a miracle, just a well-placed joke and a cheeky smile and Daryl's lips quirked up.

"You feelin' okay?" He asked her casually, trying to appear nonchalant, looking down at his hands.

Indiana smiled at his concern, nodding and sitting at the end of his bed. "Way better. Sorry you got shot. That's what happens when you don't take me hunting."

"Girl, you're shit at hunting," Daryl rolled his eyes. "I ain't taking you anywhere."

"I am going to prove you wrong," Indiana swore with a serious, determined look in her eyes. "One day, I'm going to kill something massive and you're going to be so shocked at my evolution."

Daryl watched her a moment, eyes meeting hers before he scoffed and shook his head.

"We'll see, bunny."

—

Dinner was supremely awkward.

Indiana sat at what she guessed was the "kid's table" in between Glenn and Beth, taking slow bites of her potatoes. Beth would smile at her every so often and her leg would bump Glenn's when either of them exchanged an awkward look.

As if fed up with the silence, Glenn finally turned around, leaning on the back of his seat and smiling sweetly at everyone.

"Does anybody know how to play guitar?"

Indiana's eyes instantly connected with Maggie's, both of them having the same horrified thought. Otis knew how to play guitar. She remembered him playing and Beth singing when she and Sophia first arrived.

Oh, god, and Glenn wouldn't stop talking.

"Dale found a cool one," he continued, and Dale's happy little smirk did nothing to stop Indiana's grimace. Maggie shook her head and Indiana shrugged a bit, sinking into her chair. Beth sniffled just a bit and it only amplified Indiana's guilt.

Her dad and brother were alive, and Otis wasn't. That knowledge hung in the air between them all, probably the basis of Hershel's dislike for their group. The understanding that death followed them as much as walkers did.

"Somebody's got to know how to play."

Silence. A shift in the atmosphere and a brush of Indiana's hand throuugh her curls.

"Otis did," Patricia informed them all.

And the shoe dropped. The silence was deafening, even more so than before. Heavy and filled with mixed emotions. Indiana was one of many to glance to her father, the reminder of Otis' last moments.

"Yes," Hershel added, "and he was very good, too."

Shane avoided eye contact from everyone, keeping his eyes on the table, jaw clenched tight. His gaze flickered up to Indiana for a moment and their eyes connected.

Indiana offered a weak, sympathetic smile, and his eyes flashed with something. He looked back down, and her heart sank. He was probably filled to the brim with guilt, and God only knew she was too. For being grateful that he was the one to make it home. That he'd lived and Otis hadn't. That they'd gotten the supplies for Carl at whatever the cost.

Did that make her a bad person? Was she at fault for wanting her family to survive over others? It felt like she should hate herself for it, should be swallowed in pain and loss and agony — but she couldn't bring herself to be more than mildly guilty.

The thought of the world already changing her and making her pick lives and people made her sick. She set her fork down. Glenn sent her a worried look, trying to avoid eye contact with Hershel, and Indiana shook her head.

"Not hungry," she said softly to him.

He watched her a moment longer before turning to Maggie, face brightening a bit. She watched as they tried to be inconspicuous, passing something between them.

Indiana fought the urge to roll her eyes, they were so smitten. But she was happy for them, the jealousy and heartache fading at the soft looks exchanged. They were good for each other. Like two rays of sunlight coming together in the midst of a storm.

It was pretty and poetic, and she wanted them to make it.

—

Indiana took a peach from Glenn, who was acting entirely too strange for her to be comfortable. But she figured he and Maggie probably had sex again and he didn't want to go into detail. Avoiding eyes, tossing the peach at her, then rushing off.

It was very weird, but she brushed it off.

"Hey, you two," Indiana smiled sweetly at Shane and Carl, both of their faces brightening when they saw her. "How're you feeling?" She asked Carl.

Carl shrugged, and she noticed the shift in his attitude immediately. Gone was the meek and doe-eyed brother she'd grown up with. He was trying to be tough, his dad's hat placed on his head, a frown on his face. It looked so out of place on the child, but her heart swelled with a fondness she would never feel for anyone else.

"I'm fine," Carl shrugged. "How're you, Indie?"

"Same," Indiana flicked his hat a bit and leaned against the front of the RV next to her father. "You okay?" She asked him quieter.

Shane looked up at her and nodded, reaching his hand over and squeezing her arm gratefully before letting go.

"I want to learn to shoot too," Carl spoke up. "Can you teach me?" He asked Shane hopefully.

Indiana and Shane shared a look before looking back to the boy.

"Well, man, that's—that's up to your parents," Shane cleared his throat.

"Can you talk to them?" Carl asked hopefully. "They'll listen to you. And Indie was younger than me when she learned."

"Indiana's my kid," Shane pointed out, shrugging a bit. "I wanted her to learn so she did. Don't mean that's the case with your parents and you gotta get that."

"Please?" Carl asked, sending the pair a pleading look.

Shane chuckled, shaking his head and taking another bite of his peach. "We'll see, okay?"

Carl nodded and turned to leave, but there was a little clicking noise that drew their attention.

"Hey," Shane grabbed his attention. Carl's eyes went wide, and he paled, stilling in place. He was always such a terrible liar. "Let me see what you've got there."

Indiana's heart sank into her stomach when Carl pulled up his shirt and tucked into his pants was a loaded gun.

Shane tossed his peach aside angrily, eyes blazing as he stood.

"Carl, you—god, Carl!" Indiana exclaimed, rushing over and grabbing the gun from him. "What were you thinking?"

"I—"

"—No, don't start," Shane scoffed, shaking his head. "Go tell your dad, let's get your mom, no but's, go."

Carl grumbled under his breath, walking begrudgingly to where Rick was as Shane got Lori's attention.

The four and Dale — the owner of the gun — stood next to the clothesline as Carl pouted on a bench.

"How the hell did this happen?" Lori asked, taking the gun from Indiana and tucking it away.

"Well, it's my fault," Dale spoke up. "I let him into the RV. He said he wanted a walkie, that you sent him for one."

Indiana let out a breath, knowing how Lori felt about lies. This was even worse than the gun in some cases. That kid was in so much trouble, and she did not envy him in the slightest.

Rick and Lori exchanged a look and Lori's face tightened. "So, on top of everything else, he lied."

"What's he thinking?" Rick asked in disappointment, glancing over at the pouting boy.

"He wants to learn how to shoot," Shane answered. "He asked me to teach him."

"Said he thinks because I was taught that young that he should be."

Lori let out a noise of disbelief, shaking her head.

"Now, it's none of my business, but I'm happy to do it. It's your call."

Lori shook her head, immediately disliking the idea. "I'm not comfortable with it," she told them.

Shane sighed, shaking his head and Indiana exchanged a look with him, both of them thinking the same thing.

"Oh, don't make me out to be the unreasonable one here," Lori begged softly. "Rick?"

"I know," Rick nodded. "I have my concerns too, but—"

"—There's not but. He was just shot."

Indiana cleared her throat. "He doesn't have to carry," she pointed out. "But, god forbid, the situation comes to it, he should know how to use it. It's better he understands them then try and teach himself. Or get into a situation where he can't and then ends up hurting someone or accidentally shooting himself."

"Indiana, no offense, baby," Lori sighed, "but you're not exactly—"

"—She's not exactly what, Lori?" Shane snapped in annoyance, standing a bit straighter. "She knows how to use a gun; she has her whole life because I taught her. Now, it's your decision with Carl but she makes a good point. You want to avoid him getting shot? Teach him how to shoot. He's going to be around guns for the foreseeable future."

"Now, hang on," Lori's eyes widened, feeling steamrolled by everyone, but Rick spoke up.

"It's better than him being afraid of 'em," he pointed out. "There are guns in camp for a reason. He should learn how to handle them safely."

"I don't want my kid walking around with a gun," Lori pleaded with him.

"But how can you defend that?" Rick asked, looking around. "You can't let him go around without protection."

"He's as safe as he'll ever be right here."

"That's wishful thinking," Indiana sighed. "You can't know that. We thought the last camp was safe and look at that. It would be better if he knew how to shoot, so—"

"—Dammit, Indiana, this is not your call, you aren't even his family."

Indiana blinked, the air between everyone going thin. Dale cleared his throat awkwardly, uncomfortable with the sudden personal issues brought to the surface of the conversation. Rick watched Lori in surprise, and Indiana felt the familiar prickle of tears in her eyes.

The adoption wasn't often brought up, hardly ever. She could recall a handful of times when she'd been in trouble growing up and Lori or Rick had mentioned in offhand, saying that it wasn't Shane's fault she was turning out like this, or maybe she was too close to her birth parents in blood.

There was always a separation between her and Shane that as much as she tried and wished and fought for it to be gone, it remained. A constant reminder that she was his adopted daughter, and Rick was his friend not brother and in loose terms she was nothing more than a friend of the family's.

"Don't you ever say that to her," Shane spoke harshly, leaning forward a dark look on his face. "Don't you ever insinuate that again. She is as much Carl's sister as Rick's my brother, you get that. She's making points you don't like, and I get that, but you got no right to talk to her that way, Lori—"

"—I didn't mean it like that," Lori's eyes found Indiana's tearful ones as the latter struggled to keep a straight face. "Baby, you gotta know I didn't—"

"—Come on, Indy," Shane glanced to her. "Let's take a walk, you and me. Let the family handle their own situation." He scoffed and stormed off. Indiana glanced to Carl, then to Rick, who looked torn.

Another piece in the tapestry of their families was torn, and she pushed away the aching in her chest, the sinking suspicion that this was a point of no return, before turning and following her dad.

—

"I don't get it," Indiana said tearfully as she placed a can on the fence line for the shooting range. "I don't understand what more I can do to—"

"—Hey, hey, Indie," Shane grabbed her shoulders and made her look at him, cupping his face. "Lori's in a mood right now, but that ain't nothin' to do with you. And even if it was, you are my kid. And you're Carl's sister, okay? You been there for him more'n anyone."

Indiana nodded, sniffling. "I hate that I cry so much," she confessed, rolling her eyes at her own emotions.

"Don't," Shane shook his head, a smile curling at his lips. "Makes you sensitive. Still my baby. Same as you were a decade ago."

Indiana nodded, moving forward and wrapping her arms around Shane's midsection. "I'm sorry you can't have her," she uttered softly, the first time they talked about the affair directly.

She heard his heartbeat speed up at her words. His arms tightened around her.

"'S'okay, lev," he sighed, kissing her head. "Don't you ever let your person go, okay?" He asked of her. "When you do fall in love and you — you got that person, you don't let them go. Not for anything. I don't ever wanna see you in this position."

"Okay."

"I mean it," he ran his hand over her curls softly. "Love don't come easy baby, and I don't want you to give it up for anything. When you find it, you fuckin' fight for it and you don't let go. Nothin' comes before your happiness, not for me, and if the right person loves you, same'll be said for them. You pick your people and you save who you can save."

Indiana nodded at his words, burying her face in his shirt. He rested his chin on her head.

"I love you," he said softly, sighing. "You the only thing keep me sane now."

"I love you too," she replied softly. "I won't go anywhere."

"Me either."

They were quiet again, sitting under the beaming sun, just grieving together. She knew he'd find out about the pregnancy eventually and she was grieving his heartbreak, and he knew she was grieving the loss of the old world, before things got confusing and messy.

They both grieved the people they were before, the simple family dinners and game nights with the Grimes family.

Each day in the apocalypse felt like another lifetime since then, and the father and daughter felt more and more like the world was against them than a part of the group.

Save who you can save.

—

"Um, guys," Glenn grabbed everyone's attention. Indiana looked up from her seat on the ground next to a tree, eating a mouthful of eggs. "The barn is full of walkers."

Silence. T-Dog slowly moved his mug down, forks stopped moving against plates. Indiana let out a breath and Shane's face darkened. Rick's eyes hardened and his jaw clenched, head tilting a fraction.

"Well, that's weird," Indiana spoke up, trying to ease some silence. Glenn sent her a small, appreciative smile and she shrugged a bit, eating another bite of her eggs.

She could deal with it later, even if everyone else was scrambling up and talking over one another. She wasn't dead yet, might as well finish breakfast.

—

"You cannot tell me you're alright with this," Shane snapped at Rick after examining the barn.

"No, I'm not, but we're guests here. This isn't our land."

"So, you're saying we should leave?" Indiana raised her eyebrows, eyes flickering to Shane's. They both knew the other was itching to go, if not for Glenn and Carl keeping them tied here.

"This is our lives!" Shane shouted.

"Lower your voice," Glenn snapped.

At Shane's look, Indiana spoke up in his defense. "Noise attracts them, Dad, we don't wanna set the walkers off more."

"Christ," Shane scoffed, taking off his hat and running a hand over his head. "Now we gotta worry about this shit as we sleep, huh?"

"We can't just sweep this under the rug," Andrea pitched in.

"It ain't right," Shane agreed. "Not remotely."

"I vote Fort Benning," Indiana spoke up. At Glenn's heartbroken look, she winced, remembering he and Maggie. "We can ask those in Hershel's group to come with us."

Glenn shook his head, looking away from her, hurt. She knew it wasn't exactly fair, but it was death with walkers on a farm they weren't exactly welcome on or finding the next viable option and escaping all of this.

Getting back to society.

And things could be normal again.

If Maggie wanted to come, then all the better.

"Okay," Shane thought aloud, pacing back and forth. "We've either got to go in there, we've got to make things right or we've just got to go. I'm with Indy, Fort Benning, Rick—"

"—We can't go," Rick held up a hand.

"Why, Rick, why?"

"Because my daughter could get lost again," Carol spoke up timidly.

Shane let out a soft groan rubbing his face and chuckling humorlessly. "Okay," he sighed, "okay, I think it's time we all start to just consider the possibility of these kids not being kids anymore. Carl, Sophia, they've got to grow up. My Indiana—"

"—Indiana's well into late teens," Lori snapped. "They haven't even hit puberty yet and you want to take them away from safety for—"

"—I want everyone safe as much as you all do, but staying here with a barn full of walkers ain't safe and you all know it! Fort Benning is safe—"

"—Man, what you know about safe?" Daryl snapped. "Your own daughter got hurt tryin to help the boy—"

"—Hey, man!" Shane lunged at Daryl, and Rick pushed them apart. Indiana quickly grabbed her dad's arm as Lori pulled his other, Glenn jumping in as Rick and T-Dog held back Daryl.

Indiana glanced at the barn. This much noise and life would only draw their attention and entice them, it was such a bad idea to be fighting like this.

"Back off!" Rick shouted at Shane and Shane pulled out of Lori's grasp.

"Keep your hands off me," he snapped at her, sending Indiana an annoyed glance before walking off.

"Now, just let me talk to Hershel," Rick started, "let me figure it out," but Shane wasn't having it.

"What are you gonna figure out?!" Shane exclaimed in frustration.

"If we're gonna stay," Rick answered. "If we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it. This is his land."

"Hershel sees those things in there as people," Dale spoke up. "Sick people. His wife, his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick asked in surprise.

"Yesterday," Dale nodded. "I talked to Hershel."

"And you waited the night?" Shane asked in annoyance.

"I thought we could survive one more night," Dale nodded and Indiana shook her head, a baffled look on her face. "We did."

"Why the hell was that your call?" Indiana snapped at him. "You all want to talk about safety of kids, but her we are keeping secrets that put everyone at risk. What if Carl decided to go for a late-night walk and no one would've noticed? What if Sophia went into the barn for fun and—"

"—Don't talk like that," Carol pleaded with tearful eyes. "She wouldn't—"

"—That's not her damn point," Shane snapped. "You all talk about safety but don't look at the big picture." He scoffed, shaking his head. "That ain't a secret you keep, mister high and mighty," he snapped at Dale.

"When did we become 'you all'?" Lori asked, crossing her arms. "Do you have something to say, Shane?"

"Oh, I got plenty to say," he snapped, nostrils flaring, but the tense atmosphere shifted when the chains on the barn doors rattled, and the doors shook against the weight of the dead behind them.

—

okay so the minor plot point change is that rick knew before this episode. I was originally going to write this episode out but i thought it would be fun to show more of shane and indy because we're not going to see them ever again when he dies (or are we? hmmm) and anyways i also want to detail more of the break between her and rick and lori and carl, because it's becoming more apparant in a world like this who really is family to who, and the lengths in which people will go to ensure safety of those people, by any means necessary. indiana and shane are in the same mindset in this capacity, which sets them apart from the others, causing the rift. this will come sooooo handy with negan + joel, gang just wait these three aint gonna let anyyyything happen to the people they love. also who liked the last of us line hehehe obviously tess isn't in this because it's more twd focused, but hopefully this has similar meaning. it's going to be a huge foundation into indiana's thought process later.