Song: River Of Tears by Alessia Cara
Words: 1592
Published: May 29th, 2020
Third Person POV
Rayna

Rayna woke up at 6 o'clock on her bedroom floor Monday morning with a hangover. She changed, showered, took some ibuprofen, cleaned the house, and made breakfast. She may have been drinking and didn't get back into her room until 3 in the morning, but her body still knows when to wake up to not get killed.

Everyone's getting used to the summer schedule. Jake is no where to be seen, probably at the Pack House or some girls house in someone else's bed. Jayce is at the pack house, as per usual, and Jamie wakes up between eight and ten every morning, alternating between home and Hazel's every day or two.

Johnathan is always up at 7:30 to head to his office at 8:00. He woke up earlier during the school year just to have Rayna make breakfast for him. The smell of pancakes and French toast gets Jamie out of bed earlier than usual this morning.

Once Johnathan leaves, Jamie spots her as she wolfs down half a pancake and a piece of French toast. (Pun very much intended.)

Rayna spends the rest of the morning completing the list of chores Johnathan left for her. She wonders how long it takes for him to write these out nearly every day, and why he feels the need to put that much effort into making her life hell.

Regardless, she's nearly done by noon.

She jumps in the middle of sweeping when the door opens without a knock. She half expects to see Jake coming in to take his anger out on her or Johnathan to beat her for not being finished yet. Instead, it's Danny.

He looks frantic. She can smell the sweat on his palms. His eyes are darting around. He's shaking.

"Is Jayce here?" he asks her.

She shakes her head. "I don't think so. I- I've been out here all morning and h- haven't seen him. Is he okay?"

Danny pauses and gives her a weird look.

"After all he's done to you, you care about him?" he asks. She looks towards the ground, holding the broom tightly.

"Y- Yeah. He's- He's still my br- brother."

She looks up to see Danny giving her a small smile. At first it's pure happiness. Then it changes to a sad smile.

"Your heart's too big, Rayna," he tells her before heading back out the front door.

She stands there, confused.

*~*~*~*

A half hour later, Jayce stumbles in through the back door. Rayna was putting her supplies away when he collapses on the floor.

"Jayce!" she exclaims, rushing over. He gets onto his knees. She doesn't see any visible injuries. Suddenly, she realizes his scent. He's in heat. His clothes are drenched in sweat.

"Oh, goddess, Jayce. Please, let me help you," she says softly. She helps him up and over to the bathroom. She locks the door behind her and helps Jayce take most of his clothes off. She makes sure his boxers stay on. She runs out to grab an ice pack. She hands it to him and starts filling up the bath with cold water.

"Y- You better not . . . Tell anyone . . ." he says weakly in an attempt to threaten her.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. I won't. I promise. Now, let's get you in the bath."

She helps him up and into the cold water. He sighs in relief.

"I'm going to go get you a bottle of heat pills, okay? Stay here, and I'll be right back," she tells him. He nods.

She's back in ten minutes with some pills and a glass of water. She hands them to Jayce, who downs them without hesitation.

"Thank you, Rayna," he whispers in a raspy voice. She nods.

"I put the rest of the bottle in your room," she tells him. "I hid them in your desk drawer."

He nods.

"How'd you get them?" he asks. She meets his eyes and opens her mouth but doesn't say a word. "It's okay, I won't get you in trouble," he assures her.

She swallows and nods.

"I stole them from the medicine cabinet in the pack house," she whispers. He nods.

They're quiet for a minute until the heat pills kick in and he starts to shiver. He gets out of the bath and dries himself off. Rayna gives him privacy in his room as he changes, and he lets her in as he starts feeling dizzy. He lays in bed while Rayna pulls up a chair so she can watch him and take care of him.

"I bet you have tons of questions . . ." he mutters.

"No. It's okay, you don't have to tell me anything," she assures him. He smiles.

"You're the best, Rayna. I don't deserve you," he rants.

She can tell the heat pills are making him . . . high, essentially. It's just a matter of time before he passes out.

"Thank you. I'm just doing what sisters do," she says with a smile.

"I love you," he whispers before falling asleep. Her smile doubles.

"I love you, too."

*~*~*~*

Jayce wakes up around three.

Rayna is still sitting in his room, this time with her sketchbook. He realizes that all of his covers are on the ground-folded, oddly-and that his fan is on, pointing directly at him.

"You're awake again," Rayna says.

"Again?" he questions, sitting up and pulling his shirt off since he feels really warm.

"Yeah. You've woken up a couple times, but I don't think you were really all that there," she informs him. He nods. "You were sweating so I took the covers off and turned on your fan," she explains.

"Thank you."

"I think you also missed lunch. There's some food on your nightstand for you."

At the mention of food his stomach growls softly. He grabs the plate and starts stuffing his mouth.

"You can't tell anyone," he repeats from earlier.

"I know. I won't."

"You also can't let Danny know I'm here," Jayce says without thinking. Rayna nods, opening her mouth to ask but deciding not to.

"Okay. He came looking for you not long before you got here."

"Really? What did he say? What did you say?"

"He just asked if you were here. I told him I haven't seen you and asked if you were okay. He asked if I cared about you even after all you've done to me and I said yes, you're my brother. He told me my heart was too big and left," she explains in what was probably too much detail.

Jayce nods, laying back down.

"He's right. Your heart is too big."

"What does that mean?" Rayna asks.

"No matter how many times someone hurts you, you'll still care about them."

Rayna goes silent, thinking. It's true.

"You draw?" Jayce asks, seeing her sketchbook. She clutches it to her chest.

"Y- Yeah. Please don't let Johnathan know. He'd-"

"It's okay. I know. I won't tell anyone," Jayce cuts her off to reassure her. She takes a few deep breaths and sets it in her lap, looking down at it.

"Can I see?" he asks hesitantly.

"Sure," she says softly, standing up, closing the sketchbook, and handing it to him. She didn't want the first thing he saw to be a sketch of the Polaroid picture of Danny kissing his cheek as they cuddled that she found in his desk drawer when she hid the pills.

He flips through the first few pages.

"Is this your friend? What's her name again?" Jayce asks, showing a page of Naomi.

"Yeah. Naomi."

He nods. He continues flipping.

"Is- Is this me?" he asks.

Rayna swallows, looking at her drawing of him. "Y- Yeah."

"It's really good, Rayna."

She smiles. "Thank you."

Then, he gets to a dark page she must have forgotten to move to the dark side of the binder.

"Whoa . . ."

"That's my emotions," she tells him without thinking. He looks at her.

"Rayna . . ."

He's breathless.

It's of a diamond heart. It's shiny and light, but everything around it is dark and slowly creeping into it, cracking it's beauty.

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes. Now she's breathless.

"Wh- Why?" she asks.

"I've never wanted to hurt you. When Dad told me to I- I turned my emotions off, basically. I should've helped you more, to make up for it. I'm such a shit brother."

He sets the sketchbook down, and she sees the tears in his eyes.

"It's okay," she whispers, sitting on the edge of the bed and wrapping her arms around him. "You aren't a shitty brother. You're a future leader. That's a lot of responsibility. Johnathan is the only example you've had set for you. You've always wanted to be like him. You've always looked for his approval. I knew that you were lost. I knew you didn't mean it."

"Goddess, you're right," he mutters, sitting up. "I don't like that man, yet I've always been looking for something from him."

Rayna feels this instinct kick in that she didn't know she had. She rubs his back in a soothing manner and holds him close enough to comfort him. He rests his head on her shoulder.

"You remind me so much of Mom," he mumbles.

"Really?"

"Yeah. She had such a big heart, even for an asshat like John. I'm so glad she brought you into the family. I just wish the rest of them felt the same way."

Rayna nods.

"I do, too."