{TW: SA, r*pe mentioned in this chapter. I have marked the beginning and end of the description. Reader discretion is advised. It is only during the first half of this chapter, however.}

Song: "Diamond Heart" by Alan Walker feat. Sophia Somajo

******

Steve stayed quiet for several moments before he finally asked, "What happened?" His hands still held mine, and his thumbs stroked over my knuckles.

I closed my eyes and released a steady breath, squeezing his hands nervously. I shifted so I sat cross-legged on the end of the bed, then began.

"Well, after I was removed from the foster home, I was homeless. I ended up finding a place to stay with some people in a crack house for three years. During that time, I did what I could to help them get their fixes, and in return, they gave me my own room, food, and a bed to sleep it. I didn't have a consistent job for a while. I got money from where I could. At one point I worked fifty-hour weeks. I barely slept, and what little I did make working at the gas station and laundromat, I had to save and hide from the addicts. So, I opened a bank account to aid that. What little I gave them they spent on weed and instant noodles."

I shifted uncomfortably. "At some point, I decided to quit my job at the gas station. And found I could make more money doing, well, other things. They had already threatened me several times by this point to do something more or they'd kill me. So... I went to the local strip club. They liked my body and my hair and eyes, said I was special. So, I worked at that strip club. Gave wealthy men lap dances, and worked whatever they wanted me to. I took whatever money I made and put it away. The laundromat paid the addicts, and the strip club paid me.

"Soon enough, I had enough for an apartment and quit the strip club. I met Max at this time, and he offered to let me live with him, and I agreed to get out of the crackhouse. He was kind at first and treated me like a human. I paid rent and helped with groceries and all of that, but he always brought up my past at the club and joked about why I never gave him any. It made me uncomfortable. (TW) So, one night, he invited some friends over, and thought it would be nice to let them each have a turn with me. So, they drugged me. By the time I came through, I found myself tied to a bed by my ankles and wrists. They were all standing over me, naked, and doing what they wanted to me. They put a gag in my mouth so I couldn't scream."

Tears sprang into my eyes and I wiped at my eyes furiously. Steve's hand gently tightened around the one I still held. "T-They left afterwards, and then Max came along to have his turn, and I guess that's when the emotional manipulation and gaslighting came in full-force. He told me they each paid five-hundred dollars to have a turn and that I should be thankful for the extra two grand. I couldn't say anything. I locked myself in a room in that apartment for days afterwards and wouldn't come out, not even to eat. But Max saw this as an opportunity. He told me he loved me, and every now and then, would sleep with me himself, telling me that from that point on, no one else could love me like he did. And I believed it. He invited his four friends over again three months later, but instead of drugging me, Max locked me in the bedroom with them, because they were each paying double. Four thousand for a chance at me awake and moving.

"I had gotten news they were coming back, so I had snuck a knife into the bedroom. I pretended and played around with them for a while, then laid them out on the bed, and one by one, I slit each of their throats. I stabbed them. I killed them before they could rape me again. In the moment, it felt good to do it. They couldn't hurt me anymore..." (TW end)

I released a shuddering breath and a tear slid down my cheek. "But afterwards, I realized what I had done, but it was too late. Max broke down the door and he beat me for hours. Then, I remember vaguely that he grabbed me by the hair and told me that if I didn't stay with him and do whatever he wanted to and for him for the rest of my life, he would tell the police and turn me in, and if that didn't work, he'd... kill me. Too scared to disagree, I let him do what he wanted to me for a year after that incident."

I wiped at my face as the tears began to fall faster, sniffling and wrapping the sweatshirt sleeves in my fists, releasing Steve's hand. "By the time I was kidnapped, it was right after Max had apologized for all he had done to me. It's why when I got out, I asked for him, thinking he had changed or something. That I wasn't going to go back to more abuse. I was an idiot. A huge part of me believed what he told me was true and I had no chance with anyone else..."

I drifted off and looked up to meet Steve's blue eyes. They were filled with tears as he stared at me. "I believed it, that is, until you came around. But... I ended things with him this morning. I got ahold of him and he threatened me and then sent you that letter and I don't know who else here. The next step is that he's going to find me."

Steve was quiet for a few moments, and he sniffled, lifting a hand to wipe at his eyes and then he looked at the letter on the bed and he crumpled it up and threw it to the other side of the room.

I choked on a sob that I tried to hold back, lifting my hand to cover my mouth and gasped out, "I-I understand if you hate me now, Steve. If you find me disgusting."

He froze. "What?" He looked at me, his eyebrows drawing together.

"You do. Don't deny it, Steve. I've seen that look one too many times. And maybe you should know that Strucker took more from me, too. I can't give you a future. I figured it out on my own, after the procedure. Saw the scars... I'm used to loss now, and I'm nothing but a disgusting shell. You deserve so much better than me. You should just go."

"Angel you are not disgusting," He says and kneels in front of me on the floor. I looked up at him to see tears falling down his cheeks.

"Avery, my darling girl, I love you. What you told me you went through makes me angry because I love you and hate seeing you in so much pain. Not because of anything you did. You did nothing wrong, and you are not at fault. None of that is your fault. You didn't deserve an ounce of what you received from life. He did this to you, and he should be held responsible." He lifted a hand to my cheek and I pressed my face into his palm, holding onto his wrist. His thumb gently wiped a tear from my cheek. "I love you, Avery Grace. With all of my heart."

I surprised myself as a smile touched my lips. I moved a hand to his cheek, then gently wiped the tears from his cheeks. "My darling, I love you, too. I... I didn't think... I didn't know you felt that way." I lowered my forehead to rest against his, lifting my hand to his cheek.

"I can say the same," he said softly. "Angel, you're my girl. Mine. No one is going to take you from me. I choose you. Every part of you. All of you. That hasn't changed, and it never will. Thank you for trusting me with your heart."

Tears began to fall down my cheeks and I slid off the bed and into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck as my head dropped onto his shoulder.

And he held me, rocking back and forth. His fingers gently combed through my hair, gently across the feathers of my wings. He whispered gentle phrases in my ear, every now and then pressing kisses to my forehead, temple, cheek, jaw, neck, and shoulder.

His arms stayed around me, and he held me. And he reassured me that he was staying right where he was.

******

After a week , the whole team knew about the letters Max had sent. And no sooner had the letters arrived in the others' hands, they had already put out a warrant for his arrest with the police. I had given Steve permission to tell them the truth because I couldn't go into it again.

Natasha didn't show me pity or anger like the others showed, but instead pulled me into a tight hug and merely told me she understood. Clint and Tony went off into another room to discuss different ways to murder him discretely, and Thor merely hugged me for several minutes, then flew off in a rage.

Bruce, however, merely offered me a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen if I ever needed it. As he said the words, his brown eyes held a deep sadness in them, and I wondered if he had figured out anything from what I had shared with him the gardens.

And Steve... he stayed true to his word, and he didn't leave my side. He became my rock in one of the hardest weeks of my life. But I had gone through worse and survived. I could make it through this.

Steve took me out of the compound one day, and asked me to show him my favorite restaurant. We walked through a museum, and then crossed off something on his bucket list- going to the movies.

I was informed when we returned that Max was behind bars, but for some reason, it didn't bring me much comfort.

No one would question the Avengers of all people, but I knew a trial was bound to happen, so they imprisoned him at a S.H.I.E.L.D. Compound somewhere out in the ocean. Maria wouldn't tell me where. Anything Max had tried to put on the Internet was wiped, gone for good.

And the day it happened was the day I was suiting up again, tugging on those combat boots and black and green suit and joining the others on the Quinjet to find where Ultron had wandered off to.

I sat in silence on the seat, Steve next to me and holding my hand in both of his. There was an uncomfortable silence, and I couldn't take the tension.

I squeezed Steve's hand and stood and walked over to the center of the jet. "So, when we get there, it's obvious Wanda and Pietro will be there, too. So you guys will go in and confront Ultron, alright? I'll stay at the jet with Bruce as the backup, and to protect him from Wanda. And... why are you looking at me like that?"

Tony shifted uncomfortably, then said, "Are you sure you're ok to be out in the field right now? Because you wouldn't get any judgement if you weren't."

I dropped my hands to my sides and said, "I've been able to go about doing my life for four years now, so what's the difference now?"

"Don't mistake Stark asking you this that he, or any of us, believe you are not strong. There is no doubt about it. But this time is different," Thor said gently. "You are not weaker, Avery, do not mistake that. But you are hurt, and that can get you injured on the battlefield."

I clenched my jaw and said, "I'll be fine. There are other things that are more important right now that we have to deal with- like saving the world from an evil robot and two crazy people I may or may not be related to."

"Another reason we wonder if you should sit this one out," Steve said gently, moving a hand to cover mine. "Because you could potentially be a target in this, as well."

I lifted my hands to my temples and rubbed at them, releasing a shaky breath. "Yes. I'm not doing so hot right now, but honestly? I'm here for Bruce and I'm here for all of you. Because if that bitch tries to use whatever telepathic abilities on him, I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try to keep it from happening."

"Yeah, because we all know I'm a hazard," Bruce says bitterly.

I looked at him and said seriously, "No, you aren't."

He didn't reply, and also looked as if he didn't believe me. I pushed aside my hurt feelings at that, and closed my eyes. "I'm not going in there. I'm staying outside in the Quinjet, so I don't know what you're all so worried about."

The duration of the flight was spent in awkward silence until we finally landed outside some ruins where Ultron was located trading with Klawe.

Steve moved to my side and pressed a kiss to my forehead, and after squeezing my hand in encouragement, sent me a smile before moving to follow the others.

The others left the jet and I watched them leave, my arms crossed as I leaned against the doorway and watched them take off towards the abandoned warehouse.

"You should probably go with them," Bruce says from behind me.

I sighed heavily and said, "I thought we already established that I'm not."

"You don't need to wait around for me, Avery. And don't lie to me, please. You all think I'm a hazard and it's why you're staying here. Because you can't afford to have the Hulk ruining anything if that girl gets to me."

I turned to look at him in disbelief. "Seriously? Is that really what you think?"

"Yes. And it's true! It's what they've all thought from the beginning, including Nat." He says, the last bit of Nat revealing a look of deep hurt in his eyes. "They've had ways to get rid of or contain the Hulk if need be, and now you're here protecting me. They even had a fail safe that still didn't work. Beleive me, I've tried to stop Hulk before when he gets triggered. I've tried to get rid of him. I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. And-"

"Bruce," I interrupted him, my voice cracking. He stopped and met my eyes and I walked over to him and rested my hands on his shoulders. I felt my eyes fill with tears, but I shoved them back.

"I'm here not to stop or to contain you or anything else. I would never cage you because you are not a monster. I'm here because I care about you. And I see the guilt tearing you up whenever you have turned. And I'm not scared of you and never will be. I'm here because if I can keep you safe, and somehow keep you from hating yourself at the same time, I'll do whatever I need to. Including defending and protecting you when you don't want me to."

He lowered his head and didn't speak for a few minutes and I crossed my arms over my chest.

He lifted his head after a moment, lifting his hand to scratch at his neck and said seriously, "When this is over, will you stop me if I try to leave?"

I hesitated, hurt surging in my chest. "Why would you leave us? Where would you go?"

"Anywhere," he says honestly. "I just... I wouldn't want to leave you, or Nat, I just... I can't keep doing this. I wasn't made for it."

"Neither was I. I was forced into it," I replied, lifting my chin. "You don't get to choose what life gives you- you're supposed to take it and then go with it. Running won't solve a single one of your problems, Bruce. You've gotta realize that and face it at some point. You're only damaging yourself by keeping it inside."

A broken laugh escaped his lips. "You sound like Steve. That's why you belong together."

I narrowed my eyes. "What's your problem? You don't sound like yourself, Bruce."

"Nothing," he said tersely. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

And that's when I realized. I shook my head, clenching my fists. "Bruce? You... you're jealous, aren't you?"

He scoffed. "Of you? Alright, you got me, yes. I'm jealous of you. Did you have to read my mind to figure that out?"

His words felt like a kick to the gut. "No, I didn't. Bruce Banner suddenly acting like a shit head is what told me. What do you have to be jealous of me for?"

"Everything!" He yelled and I took a step back as my heart rate spiked. He took a step closer and waved a hand through the air. "You just walked into my life, made me feel like I was the best person in this world, and then you turn around and for whatever reason end up with Steve Rogers. I should have known this is how it would turn out. He's better, isn't he? Could give you what I couldn't? He was the better choice between the two of us."

I swallowed hard and narrowed my eyes at him, my wings flaring behind me. "You mean to tell me that you have feelings for me? Bruce, I don't know what signs you were reading, but I haven't ever felt like that towards you. You are my friend- my best friend!- you and Tony and I thought that we were friends. I kept your secret and even defended you from Steve! Yes, I chose Steve, but it had nothing to do with you, or anything you did or didn't do. I just never felt that way for you."

"It's because I'm a monster," he said softly, sending me a look of hardly concealed anger. "But that doesn't matter to you. Steve asked you to stay here and 'watch' me, didn't he?"

Tears stung at my eyes. "No, Bruce, I volunteered. Because you're my friend and I was the only one that could stop Wanda from getting to you! Now please, stop yelling at me!" A tear slid down my cheek and he glared at me.

He turned to the wall and slammed a fist into it and I jumped, my whole body tensing. He turned around to me, and pointing at me, snarled, "Whatever, Avery, I don't need you to defend him from me. I already know all I need to about how you feel about me. I'm not your priority- I never will be."

I went to reply when I suddenly sensed a ringing and I spun around just as I was suddenly grabbed by the man with super speed and ripped away from Bruce.

I ground my teeth and threw a punch into Pietro's face, my hands glowing white as I forced him to stop and he tripped, dropping me as we rolled several feet along the ground.

I groaned and struggled to my feet, holding my ribs. Bruised, but not broken. I coughed, groaning as I pulled myself to my feet.

I squinted towards the Quinjet to see Wanda with Bruce. "No!" I shouted. "Wanda don't touch him! I'm who you want, remember?"

She paused, then turned to look back at me. "You. You are familiar to us. Your hair and eyes. They reminded us of someone we lost a long time ago."

"And you called me Anya," I say, nodding and getting to my feet. "And it looks like you and I have similar powers. Strucker captured me, too, with the intention of unlocking some sort of mutant gene." I clenched my hands into fists to stop them from shaking.

"And it worked," Pietro said. "And here you are. Defending the Avengers of all people. You know what I'll say is true, because you were abandoned at a hospital, then went to the orphanage. You helped us escape when our home town was bombed."

"Then why don't I remember any of this? Explain that to me!" I demanded.

They looked at one another, then Wanda frowned at me. "I am not surprised you do not remember. You brought us somewhere safe, Anya. You got us there, then you collapsed suddenly. You had been hurt when we escaped our burned home. You were unresponsive. We brought you to a hospital, but we were scared," She swallowed hard. "We left you at the hospital."

The ground seemed to tilt under my feet. "I-what? So you are my brother and sister? And... and you left me there? Why?" A tear slid down my cheek.

"You should have a scar on your left shoulder- that's where you took a beam on fire for me," Pietro said, looking at me intensely. "There were people searching for us because we knew something about the bombs. The name written on them." He took a step towards me.

"What name?" I demanded, tears pricking at my eyes and taking a step back. "What name would make my only family abandon me at a hospital?"

"I'm surprised you don't even know that. Who else creates bombs? Your friend, Anya. Tony Stark," Wanda snarled as she took a step towards me. "Your friend Tony Stark is the reason we got kidnapped by Strucker and you lost your memories in a hospital bed and got sent into the foster system. He is the reason you were found by Strucker and kidnapped from your home. Your heritage- your family- has been destroyed and uprooted. So what will you do now, Anya Maximoff, my dear sister? You can read my thoughts, you know I speak the truth."

And that was the thing that shook me to the core. She was right.