{Author's Note: TW AHEAD- threat, domestic violence, abuse. It is discussed in this chapter, but not described.}

Song: "More Than You Know" by Axwell /\ Ingrosso

******

The next morning, I woke up and Steve was gone. I slowly sat up and rubbed at my eyes, realizing I was still in the dress from last night, and his jacket. He had taken to sleeping with me at night, and I noticed since he had that the dark circles under his eyes had begun to disappear. He was still an early riser, and was probably on his morning run.

I was glad he was sleeping better, but a part of me was concerned about why he wasn't before.

I got up and gingerly pulled the jacket off, stretching my wings out behind me, the joints popping as I did so. Damn, they were stiff. I looked at myself in the mirror, then noticed a note that sat on my desk. I walked over to it and unfolded it, a smile touching my lips.

Good morning, my angel, 
I went on a run, but I didn't want to wake you. I left after writing this. I hope you had a good sleep. I have some things to take care of this morning and afternoon, but perhaps find me for dinner? Take a day of rest, and I'll see you later.
Love, Steve

I smiled at the little drawn heart at the end and folded the note carefully and looked to the list on the desk that I had left out. My list of things on my mind that I was struggling over. I felt my face go red to see he had taken a highlighter and highlighted off the parts about him. He had also placed a bulky black sweatshirt on the desk with a post-it that said: For you, since a suit jacket can't hardly be comfortable.

Cheeky bastard.

I turned to the bathroom and peeled myself out of the dress and tights, then took a quick shower to scrub the makeup off of me. I got dressed in a pair of jeans and picked up the sweatshirt and a pair of scissors. I cut the slits for the wings in the backs then pulled it on, the hood falling over my head and I breathed in the smell of his cologne, hugging it tightly around me.

I looked at the list again, and to that bullet point about Max...

Relationships? What to do about Max? Easy- break up with his ass, but how?

Now was a good a time as any. I could cross another thing off my list for good. But was it worth it at this point? We hadn't spoken, and he never reached out to me once. I remembered the way Max had looked at me when he saw my wings. He hated them, I knew he did.

He'd never treat me the same, and I knew I needed to end it, but I was terrified.

I wasn't of... use to him anymore. I was a monster to him. Why would he want me to stick around? Even if I did go back to him, he'd never use me the same way he did before... and he could do it worse...

My heart began to pound in my chest.

"He can't get you, Avery," I said to myself in the mirror, even as I saw my eyes fill with tears. "He won't ever get you, ever again. He can't use you. He can't do anything more to you ever again. He's the weak one, now."

I moved a hand to my eyes and wiped at them roughly, releasing a shaking breath as I released the painful memories and began to count slowly, under my breath, from fifty to one.

I sat down at my desk and after releasing another calming breath, pulled out my desk drawer and pulled out the phone that Tony had gotten for me.

I clenched my jaw and dialed the number I had called so many times already. I didn't expect him to answer. In fact, I didn't know what I expected, but when I heard his voice on the other end of the phone, a chill went down my spine.

"Avery. You've called me a lot now. What do you want?" His voice was quiet, but he sounded angry.

I drummed my fingers on my desk and swallowed hard, then said, "I just need to say it, because I feel like it's obvious at this point, but I need to make it official. We're done."

I waited anxiously for his response, and when it came, I thought I was going to throw up. "Really, Avery? Is that what you want? Well, I wouldn't be surprised if you don't remember the deal we made before you got taken and turned into whatever you are now. But, it's been four years since that deal was made. Shall I remind you of it? And tell you what the consequences for breaking it are?"

I clenched my fist, closing my eyes and focusing on keeping my voice steady. "No. I remember. But it doesn't change the fact that I'm not coming back. I don't care what you say anymore."

A dark laugh came from the other end. "Wow. Little Miss Avery has balls now, huh? You think you can talk to me like that now because you're friends with the Avengers? You really think whoever's in your pants right now will still want you when they find out what you are? You know you need me, and I need you. Let's not make this harder than it needs to be."

"Max, I'm not coming back. Y-You can't say or do anything that will make me come back, either." I say.

He laughed, and I heard a shuffle on the other end. "You're stammering, sweet cheeks. You're not leaving me. You're staying right where you are. I'm in control still."

I closed my eyes and said firmly, "I already left, Max. It's over."

"No!" He yelled and I stiffened as if he had struck me through the phone. "You stupid bitch. Whoever you're with now- I know you're with someone else- how would you like it if he found out how we got together exactly? If he found out what you are? That you've been lying to him?"

"Goodbye Max," I said simply and hung up the phone and threw it back into the desk drawer and rubbed at my face.

I released a shuddering breath and wrapped myself in Steve's sweatshirt more. I wiped away the tears that had sprung into my eyes.

There was no way he'd make good on that. No way that he'd even dare. I stood and walked into my bathroom and changed with shaking hands into a sports bra and leggings, grabbed my headphones and tugged on my sneakers, and headed to the gym, throwing my bag over my shoulder.

I wrapped my knuckles and trained until the sun went down. I practiced with the AI dummies and holograms, and practiced with a few S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents who were there already. Mostly, I practiced gun self defenses, ground maneuvers and grappling, and spent as much time as possible working my wings.

I was practicing my powers, music loud in my ears, and oblivious to the training center slowly clearing of people. I kept moving, fighting back the hot tears that suddenly sprang into my eyes.

And when the room was finally empty, I let out a pained cry, screaming and throwing my fist into the ground.

A wave of white shadow erupted from my fist and tossed every standing dummy back against the walls. Tears fell down my cheeks and hit the mat as I choked on a sob. He couldn't know. He couldn't. My wings drooped around me, falling to the floor like a feathered cloak.

I sat up slowly after a few moments like that, my fists clenched until my nails dug into my skin.

I looked at my wings with distaste. I looked at my hands, and saw how bruised my fingers were, the skin broken and dried blood coating the wraps in a few places.

My skin was sweaty and clammy, and as I looked up into the mirror that spanned the entire wall on one side of the large room, at how torn apart I looked, a strange resolve suddenly took over me.

I was broken and tarnished and I knew deep down that if Steve knew my past, that I'd he saw this part of me, he wouldn't want me anymore.

I got to my feet and smoothed back my hair, and wiped my face, then got to work cleaning up the training center.

******

I was drying off and getting dressed after my shower when a gentle knock sounded on my door. I froze, horrified for a moment that Steve was there. I couldn't face him at the moment.

"J-Just a minute!" I called back and tugged on Steve's sweatshirt, sliding my wings through the slits in the back, and walked over and opened the door. But I was surprised to see it wasn't Steve at all, but Bruce. "Oh, hi, Bruce. What can I do for you?"

"I, ah, saw what you did to the training center. I came to check if you were ok, and didn't think you'd appreciate me telling anyone else about it, namely Steve," he says, then scratches at the back of his neck.

"Oh," I said softly, rubbing at my arms. Damnit. "Thanks for that. I appreciate it. And yeah I'll be fine. I'm just... dealing with a lot."

"You want to take a walk? Talk about it?" He offers.

I paused, looked back into my room, knowing Steve would come to see me soon for our dinner together, but I wasn't sure I could face him yet.

I turned to him, then said, "Ok." I closed my door and walked next to him down the hall and outside and into a small garden-like area behind the Tower. He remained silent, waiting for me to speak.

"I'm sorry," I said finally.

He looked down at me quizzically. "Why? You have nothing to be sorry for."

"I feel like I need to apologize. Because I'm dragging you into my life like this and that's not fair to you."

"To be fair, I came to you." He said with a shrug, sliding his hands in his jacket's pockets. "Don't apologize for dealing with grief. I know all about that."

I merely nodded and wrapped my arms around myself, savoring the warmth of the sweatshirt and how it smelled like Steve.

I looked over at Bruce, then asked, "Have you ever done something in your past that you are ashamed of now, but in the moment you were doing it you weren't? Something you knew was really bad and awful? But you did it anyways."

He looked at me, then said, "I guess so. But there was always that crushing guilt right after. Like when I become the Hulk. I've done a lot of harm, but... I don't know. I guess I'm trying to do good here, too, and I think that's better to focus on." He folded and unfolded his hands. "But, sometimes I guess hindsight is 20-20, you don't know how badly your actions can affect you later."

"Well, I did something really bad, Bruce. And it's something that if it got out, I could lose everything I have right now, and I can't let that happen. Even though I know I should say something about it, it's so horrible I just can't. Because if I do, something even worse will happen to me or you or Steve or any of the others and I could lose you all. You'd hate me."

"Are you being threatened, Avery?" He asks and stops walking, brown eyes looking into mine seriously and with a heavy concern.

I stopped, looking at him strangely. "I..." I drifted off, then swallowed hard. "I...am. I am." I said at last. How did he know?

He nodded slowly, then asked, "By who?"

I clamped my mouth shut, then began to fidget with a tassel on the sweatshirt, my eyes misting with tears. "I-I can't say. Because if I do and Steve finds out..." I drifted off. "I can't have him or even you get angry because of me." I felt my eyes welling with tears and I wrapped my arms around myself tighter, squeezing my biceps and curling my wings in tighter. "I-I don't know how to fix this. I don't know what to do. All I can feel is this dread that Steve is going to find out and then he'll be... disappointed."

"Avery," Bruce said and rested his hands over mine. "What you say to me won't go to anyone else. It's why I came to you directly. You've quickly become a very good friend of mine, and I am not going to say anything," He squeezed my hands. "I also wiped the cameras from the gym. Steve won't know unless you tell him yourself. Can I help you with this? Is there anything I can do? Anything we can do?"

A tear slid down my cheek and I said softly, "M-My ex. Max. The one I've been trying to call since I got here who never answered. You saw how he reacted to me. Well, a-after a few months of stopping and just trying to move on from him, I decided to just bite the bullet and call him again today and break up with him for real and get some closure, even if it was over in literally every definition of it being over. So I did. And he threatened to tell you all something about my past and what I did that was really bad if I didn't stay with him and do what he wanted."

He clenched his jaw, "You ended things anyways?" He asked and I merely nodded. He moved his hands off of mine, then he said, "I'm proud of you."

I looked up at him, startled. "Why?"

"Because you said something about it. Abusers like it when you're afraid so they can control you. They like it when you are scared and feel like you have nowhere to go. And you're not doing that. You aren't letting him win. And so, I'm proud of you, Avery. You're doing a big thing here."

I looked at him for a long time before asking, "What would you do? In my shoes, I mean. I know I need to talk to Steve, to warn him about Max and what he might say about me. I'd want him to hear it from me."

He stopped in front of a bench and motioned for me to sit, and I did, and he sat next to me. "Be honest. There was someone I loved once, and I wasn't honest. Don't make that mistake with Steve. He is quite infatuated with you."

"What? He talks about me?" I asked, aghast.

"Avery, he's been buzzing about you since the moment you got here. I'd always catch him smiling at you during training. And when you challenged him and Nat that one time? He came to me to make sure you were alright afterwards. That man's been all for you since you got here, and the rest of us have just sat back and watched it unfold." He poked my shoulder and lifted the fabric of the sweatshirt a little and said snidely, "Case in point."

I scoffed and smacked his hand away, feeling my face go red as he laughed at me. "He really did all of that?" I asked softly.

"Mhm. He did. He said you were always encouraging others, even if you were in a lot of pain yourself. Like you did for me after your first mission. You sat with me, even though you had gone through so much. He said it's one of the things he loves most about you."

I blushed again and wrapped my fists in the sleeves of the sweatshirt. That word gonged through my head- love. He had said that to me himself just last night... "He's such a dork." I said with a shake of my head.

Bruce laughed. "A dork that would do anything for you. And a man that will listen to you and protect you, and won't look at you any differently than he does now," He says and got serious.

"I haven't known Steve for very long, but for the four years that I have, I know he's a genuinely kind person, and I know he cares about you. Steve Rogers would go to hell and back for the people he cares for most. You can trust him with this. It's not your responsibility to always worry about others. It's ok to care for yourself, too, and allow someone else to care for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Now you're just throwing my words back at me."

"Did it work?" He asks.

"I guess so." I say and let out a slow breath and rubbed at my temples. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Any time." He says and loops an arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a small hug, then pats my back. "Now, you go and find him before he starts calling all of us to help look for you." He sent me a teasing smirk and I rolled my eyes and pushed on his shoulder.

"Alright, Bruce. Thank you, again."

He nodded and waved to me as I turned and headed back into the Tower to find Steve.

******

When I got back to my room, my door was slightly ajar. Stiffening, I carefully pushed it open and looked inside, but was relieved to see it was just Steve sitting at my desk.

"Oh, you scared me there," I say and close the door behind me and turn on the lights. "You had me scared someone was... Steve?"

I saw him with the lights on. He was hunched over with a piece of paper clenched tightly in his fists. He wouldn't look at me. No. No. No.

I watched him with heart beating hard in my chest look up at me with a hard expression, as if he was trying to keep whatever he felt about what he had read to himself. He stood and handed me the paper. "Can you explain this to me?"

I bit my lip and looked at the paper to see Max had done exactly what he had promised, and he did it in under twelve hours.

Did he have this prepared for a time like this? I felt sick and light-headed all at once. How had he done it? How, how, how? My eyes scanned the paper and I began to feel my heart beat faster and harder in my chest and I felt like I couldn't breathe again as my eyes filled with tears.

I met his blue eyes and a few tears slid down my cheeks. He frowned, waiting for me to speak. "If this is what I think i-it's about, then yes." I managed weakly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked, eyebrows wrinkling in concern. "Instead you went to Bruce. I saw you two outside hugging on the bench in the gardens and laughing. Why didn't you come to me, Angel?" He didn't sound angry- in fact, just the opposite. He seemed sad and worried.

More tears slid down my cheeks and I managed, "B-Because I was terrified! I was terrified of how you'd react, and I knew you would get angry, and I was scared you'd never want me ever again. And he actually came to me after I destroyed the training center," I looked away from him, shame gripping me as a pain ruptured in my chest that was almost too much to bare.

"Avery," He said my name softly and I didn't look up. "Angel, please look at me." He said again and I did. His hands reached up and tenderly wiped my tears away and I leaned my face into his hands, reaching up to grip his wrists as he pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Avery, no. Don't ever be afraid of me," he says softly, then pulls me into a hug and I stuffed my face into his shoulder and wrapped my fists in his jacket. He rested his head on mine and kissed the top of my head, hugging me to him tightly.

"I could never stop wanting you, Avery," He says softly, smoothing my hair. "Never. Not in a million years. You are very important to me." After a few moments, he pulled away and lifted his hands to my face again and gently wiped away the tears on my cheeks with his thumbs and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "I love you, Avery," He said softly.

I stiffened slightly at that, but he didn't let go. I moved my arms around him tighter and said back, "I love you, too, Steve. Gosh, I didn't think I'd hear you say that." I took his hands from my face and held them, his fingers tightening around mine.

I closed my eyes and released a slow breath, then said, "If you want me to explain to you that letter, you need to sit, ok? It's a lot, and I didn't want you to find out this way. I never wanted you to know to begin with- or anyone else. I-I wanted to bury it and never go over it again."

He merely nods and sits down on the end of my bed and I sat next to him. I picked up the letter and felt even more sick.

He lifted a hand and pointed to a simple sentence at the middle of the page. "Is this true?" He asks softly.

Avery is a menace. She murdered four people in cold blood, and in order to keep it hidden, she let me whore her around to the highest bidder to keep her secret safe with me.

The words felt like a kick to the gut. I bit my lip and said hoarsely, "Yes."

******

I know, I know, cliffhanger. But I want to go ahead and tell you that Avery's beginnings are... not great. And the next chapter deals heavily with themes of sexual trauma. As a survivor myself, I know what it means to read something like that, and it's part of the reason these chapters took longer for me to get out. But I'm healing. I'm in therapy. And a huge part of me is ok with this being written. Because if I can write a fanfic that represents survivors in a positive light, a will. And if I can share my story so that it helps others, I will.

If you are a survivor....

You are loved and not broken, and if you are a survivor, I won't apologize because I hated hearing that myself. But it wasn't your fault, and never will be. That voice is lying to you. You are perfect, you are not tarnished. You will be ok. I have placed trigger warnings so you can skip the area it is discussed in the next chapter. I won't be offended :)

Love always,
~Cora Knight xoxo