Ch. 7

Bucky closes the door behind them as Natasha drags a chair from the table to the kitchen underneath a large cabinet. She climbs on the chair and opened the highest cabinet doors to reveal a few bottles of alcohol. She runs her fingers over the bottles before selecting a bottle of clear liquid.

He laughed as she climbed down, the bottle in hand,

"Of course you'd choose the vodka"

She smirked at him,

"You remember that?"

"Of course I do. I'm surprised you do, we drank so much that night" he said remembering that night so long ago.

Flashback

There were only four girls left including her so it wasn't that hard to sneak out anymore. She stole a bottle of vodka from the kitchens and made her way to the opposite side of the building. She didn't even knock she just opened the door and was met with lips against hers. After a few minutes she pushed him off of her,

"James, that could have been anyone"

"But thank god it was you" he said with a smirk.

She scoffed and hit him playfully on the shoulder,

"Look what I brought" she said holding up the bottle like a child holding a prize.

She could shed him grinning at her through the dark. She let out a squeal as he grabbed her waist, pulling them both onto the bed.

"We don't have a glass" he said sitting up

"Who needs a glass?" She said unscrewing the lid and taking big gulps of the liquid.

He took the bottle from her. He raised it in a mock 'cheers' gesture and took a sip.

He coughed and gagged,

"My God, how did you drink that? It's like liquid fire" he said looking disgusted at the bottle.

She snatched the bottle back from him,

"That's because you're not Russian. Around here we drink vodka like it's water, Brooklyn boy" she teased

He smiled at the mention of his hometown, he had just remembered its name and the face of a scrawny blond kid who was always picking fights he couldn't finish.

She was taking another sip when he held out his hand,

"Let me give your 'water' another try"

She moved closer so that she was basically straddling him and brought the bottle to his lips to give him a drink.

He grimaced and shiver but didn't cough this time.

"Ah, congratulations, Soldier, you're learning"

He wiped his mouth and shook his head,

"Not as well as you"

She got off his lap and sat in front of him,

"I am tired of fighting, James"

"I know but you must. You have to stay alive. You have to fight"

"I know but all this killing I can't stand it"  she sighed

He reached out and pulled her towards him,

"I know Natalia. I this isn't the life you would have chosen and honestly I wouldn't have either, but we are here and we are alive. That's all we can ask for right now"

She leaned into the hug and smiled slightly she could definitely feel the alcohol setting in now,

"What would you have chosen? For your life I mean"

He shifted so he could look at her,

"I would have stayed in Brooklyn, there's no place like it. You would have loved it. There were lights everywhere and going to the movies with girls and-"

"I bet you were quite the ladies man" she interrupted

He smiled,

"Yes, but I've never met one like you"

She smiled,

"What else would you do if you weren't here?" She asked

He thought for a second,

"Well I thought that once I got back from the war, I'd settle down, get a good job and a wife, maybe a couple of kids running around" he chuckled, "I've never really thought about it"

She looked into his eyes,

"I see you doing that. Having a normal life with little kids running around with their bright blue eyes."

He shook his head,

"Yeah, but the universe had a different idea. What would you're life look like without the Red Room?" He asked her.

"I don't know. The Red Room is all I've ever known. I probably would have grown up here in Russia, with normal parents. I would have danced for fun and had friends and gone to school."

She smiled. This was fun to think about what could have been.

"And then I would have gone to America"

He shifted so that their faces were only inches apart,

"Where in America would you have gone?"

She leaned forward slightly, tilting her head,

"Brooklyn"

He leaned forward, kissing her sweetly. Natasha was surprised, it was not full of the usual passion, but it still made her feel loved.

When they pulled away, James said,

"Do you ever think about it?

"About what?"

He shook his head, starting to move away

""No, never mind. It was stupid"

She grabbed his arm pulling him back to face her,

"No it's not. What is it?" She asked honestly

"Kids" He said so quietly she hardly heard him.

She was a bit shocked at his question. She had never really thought about it, she never had the chance.

"I don't think that a child is in the stars for me. How could I raise a child when I'm stuck here?"

"What about if we weren't stuck here?" He asked

"I think I'd want a daughter" she admitted

He smiled,

"She'd be strong like you"

Natasha crawled underneath the covers and patted next to her, signaling him to lay down as well. When he did she immediately later her head on his shoulder.

"Tell me about her" she said, wanting to hear his version of their hypothetical child.

He laughed,

"Well, she'd have red hair like you" he said twirling a strand of her hair around his finger.

"She'd have blue eyes like you" she said tiredly.

He hummed in agreement

"Or maybe she won't look like us at all, I don't know"  she said, yawning.

"And I wouldn't care as long as we're all together" was the last thing she heard him say before she fell asleep.

End of flashback

She pours the vodka into two glasses and walks over to the couch where she sits next to him, handing a glass to him.

He takes a sip without flinching, she looks at him unimpressed.

He smiles at her and says,

"It's not as bad as I remember"

She shakes her head at him,

"Cut the bullshit, James. I know you and Steve can't get drunk, you're metabolisms are too fast"

He chuckles,

"You always were smart Natalia"

She didn't say anything, only took a sip.

She set her empty glass on the coffee table, next to his jacket and turned to look at him,

"What a fucking day" she said shaking her head, laughing.

"Yeah it's been a hell of a day" he agreed.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes before he said,

"We've come a long way since the Red Room, haven't we?"

She nodded,

"Yeah but freedom isn't all it's cracked up to be. I guess we'll never get to live the lives we fantasized about"

He shook his head,

"No but we will get there"

She smiled,

"I like Brooklyn, see settling down there"

"Yeah?" He asked, smiling

"Yeah, this guy I used to know grew up there. He knew I would love it"

He tilted his head,

"Sounds like a smart guy. Handsome too"

She leaned forward, smiling,

"I never said anything about his face"

He put a faked a shocked expression and she said,

"But I guess he's not that bad looking" she admitted, playfully.

He chuckled softly leaning forward slightly.

Natasha couldn't take it anymore, maybe he didn't feel the same but she had to try.

She closed the distance between them, pressing her lips to his.

James froze. He didn't think she felt the same, but he obviously was wrong. He was about to kiss back when she pulled away saying,

"I'm sorry, I-"

He interrupted her with a kiss, her hands immediately found their way to his hair as she straddled him.

When they pulled away from the kiss. James said,

"You don't know how long I've been waiting to do that"

"Well I'm glad I got to it first" she laughed getting off him to sit by his side.

"This life without Hydra really isn't what we thought it would be, is it?" She asked, laying her head on his shoulder.

He remembered the conversation they had all those years ago,

"No but it isn't that far off. Maybe we aren't in Brooklyn but we are here together and we found this child that needs our help" he told her softly.

"I guess you're right" she admitted.

After a few minutes of silence she got up and said,

"Well, it's getting late, we should be getting to bed"

He nodded and got up,

"Thanks for the drink and the company"

She opened the door for him as he grabbed his jacket and  walked out the door. Natasha watched him walk about half way down the hallway before turning around and coming back to give her a quick peck on the lips before whispering,

"Thank you Natalia. For everything"

"Of course, James" she replies before shutting the door.

She brushed her teeth and got ready for bed. She could not believe another survivor of the Red Room was right across the hall from her. Another person besides James, with a shared trauma and past experience.

As took the handcuffs out of her drawer she wondered if the girl would be able to stay asleep without them. Natasha knew that she herself was not able to take more than a nap without the cool metal bite of the handcuffs she grew up with.

She took another pair out of the drawer and made her way to the young girl's room. She soundlessly opened the door and saw the girl sitting straight up in the bed.

«Екатерина, это Наташа» (Ekaterina it's Natasha) she called out softly as to not startled the girl.

«Привет» (hello) the girl quietly replied, it sounded as if she had been crying. 

"I just wanted to check up on you" She said sitting on the edge of the bed

"I'm alright, just can't sleep" she admitted.

"Why not? Are you uncomfortable?" Natasha asked genuinely.

"No, no it's stupid" she said

"Natasha tilted her head and said,

"Try me"

Ekaterina giggles a little before whispering,

"They used to always handcuff us to the beds so we couldn't escape in the night"

Natasha waited for her to continue.

"It's stupid but I'm finding myself not being able to sleep without them" Ekaterina finished.

"It's not stupid, Ekaterina. I was the same way."

Ekaterina moves so she was sitting next to Natasha,

"Really?" She asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah. It's one of the habits I can't break, it makes me feel safe. Like I can't hurt anybody"

Ekaterina only nods in agreement.

"I figured you might be feeling this way so I brought you pair but I just want to let you know that they can't hurt you anymore, so you don't need them", Natasha says.

Ekaterina takes the pair of shiny handcuffs before putting them on her nightstand.

"Thank you, Natalia. But I think I'm going to try to sleep without them but at least I know that they are here if I am feeling weak" the girl said quietly.

Natasha nodded, surprised at how mature the girl is.

"You are stronger than you think" Natasha told the girl.

Natasha got up and started walking towards the door, it was late.

"You are too"

Natasha wasn't sure she heard her so she kept on walking, shutting the door behind her.

She closed the door to her own room before turning out the light and laying down on her bed. She fastened the the handcuff to the bed and then her wrist. She shut her eyes and found that sleep wouldn't come so she decided to try something different.

She unfastened the handcuffs from her wrist and the bedpost, putting it in the drawer. She rolled onto her back, feeling herself relax, she shut her eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Finally we get a fun flashback!! This took me so long to write like omg it took ages! I always have such a rough time writing romantic things like I can write fluff for ages but I struggle so hard at portraying real love and romance. Buttt Bucky and Nat are getting closer so more WinterWidow in the future!! I hope this chapter was alright!!
Xo,
Renee

UPDATE: I don't know if any of you know this but I am a HUGE fan of Agents of Shield (it's a Marvel show) and I kind of want to incorporate it into this book but there are just so many characters that idk. What are your thoughts?? Let me know!! :)