Before we get into it, I have a self promo because I have no shame! I have just posted the summary and playlist for my new book! It is called If Only We Had More Time and it is an oc- Steve Rogers story set both before and during The First Avenger film. It is very different from this book, it is a soft love story with a classic anywayrenee sad twist. I've been sitting on this idea for a while now and you guys always comment that you like the way I write Steve (maybe it went to my head but..) I really love his character and wanted to give him a soft love story that he deserves. ALSO I did aesthetics for the first time and am sooo proud of how they came out. So if y'all would check it out and give me your thoughts I would appreciate so so so much!! Now on with the chapter!
Xoxo,
Renee

"Natalia?" Rina asked

Both girls were sitting on the large couch, Natasha was lounging with her feet propped on the coffee table while Rina was resting her back against the arm rest, her feet tucked underneath her.

"Hmm" was Natasha's reply.

It was quite late and the rest of the compound and the world was asleep but neither of them were willing to give up the others company quite yet.

"Never mind. It was a stupid question anyways" Rina said

Natasha opened her tired eyes,

"Ekaterina, nothing you have to say is stupid" she assured the girl.

Rina nodded her head,

"I know everyone has a birthday but do you know when yours is?" Rina asked curiously.

Ekaterina had never thought about her age before but something Darlene said a few days ago made her start to think.

She didn't know when her birthday was.

"November 22" Natasha responded

"That is soon" Rina noted.

August slipped away into a moment in time and it was now late September. The dreadful summer heat was beginning to subside and milder temperatures were beginning to appear.

Natasha shrugged,

"It is not a big deal" She said bluntly

Her birthday wasn't something that she frequently shared. She honestly did not see it as a big deal as she was raised that way.

"Another year with you in this world is a cause for celebration in my eyes" Rina said

Natasha just smiled, the girl's words hit deeper than they should have.

"What brought this on?" The woman asked curiously.

Ekaterina shook her head quickly,

"Nothing" she said

Natasha only looked at the girl and tilted her head,

"The truth this time" the woman said

Rina sighed,

"It's just that I don't know mine... and I thought you might not know yours either because you're like me" the girl said

The woman gave a sad smile.

Unlike Rina, Natasha had memories from before the Red Room. She could remember the cold, the ache of an empty belly and loneliness.

The woman couldn't help but chuckle at the girls use of the words. Rina was like her, a little too much like her sometimes.

But she also laugh to distract herself. The woman hadn't been there for the birth of her own child. A child that she had wanted so badly in her younger years, now that this child was sitting in front of her- the woman could still not bring herself to tell the truth.

"What is funny?" The girl asked

Natasha shook her head dismissing the question,

"If you want I can ask Stark to look into your medical file, with your blood work and cells he might be able to narrow down the date of your birth" she said.

Ekaterina thought for a moment,

"I would like that"

"Then consider it done" the woman said.

~~~

This was the first time they both have had some down time in the past few weeks.

Ekaterina had been cleared to continue her SHIELD training, she had excelled so quickly at each task assigned to her that she was granted the ability to begin small, low risk missions.

The girl had just returned from a small mission gathering intel, 'chaperoned' as she called it by Steve who made sure that she did what she was supposed to.

When Natasha had asked how it went all Rina had said was 'child's play' but when the woman asked Steve he said that he'd never seen anyone gather intel and observe people so quickly.

So in a well deserved break, Ekaterina spent the entire day with Natasha.

But it was now late.

But both the girls didn't want to sleep just yet.

"I think I need to fix my hair again" Rina said suddenly.

Natasha tilted her head,

"What do you mean?" The woman asked

"It is growing out" she said pointing to the roots of her hair which were now about an inch of growth before fading into blonde.

"Did the Red Room have you dye it?" Natasha asked

Rina nodded her head,

"Of course" the girl said as if it were the most simple answer in the world,

"Every few months they would change our appearances- teach us how to blend in and how to avoid detection" Rina explained.

"I've had nearly every color hair- brown, black, blonde, I even had pink at one point" Rina laughed at the last part.

Natasha forced a chuckle.

"What color was it originally?" She asked

Rina thought for a moment,

"They didn't like for us to keep our natural color, said it was too dangerous- but I think it was dark brown or maybe red, I can't remember" she yawned.

"You don't have to color it anymore if you don't want to. The choice is yours" Natasha told the girl.

"Hm" Rina hummed sleepily, "I think I'll leave it then" she decided.

Natasha just smiled,

"Alright now, off to bed" she instructed pushing herself off the couch,

"I'm not even that tired" Rina argued but her words were slightly slurred with the sluggish need to sleep.

"I don't wanna hear it, missy, let's go" Nat said nodding towards the direction of the girls room.

Rina sighed,

"Fine- but only because I want to, not because I'm tired" Rina said but they both knew it was a lie

"Of course" Natasha said, hiding a laugh.

Man, the girl was stubborn. Natasha wondered where she got that from.

~~~

While Rina was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, Natasha unmade the girl's bed pulling the duvet back so the girl could easily slip inside.  

Darlene had told the woman about what she had seen. The girl knew what her father had been through and was concerned that Rina was going through something similar.

After that, Rina spoke to Sam. Their talks seemed to really help Rina feel more understood. And slowly the bed began to feel less and less like a marshmallow and more comfortable.

Ekaterina walked out of the bathroom and Natasha patted the bed, "in you go" the woman said.

Rina was struggling to keep her eyes open as she got into the large bed, head resting against the pillow.

"Alright" Natasha said as she tucked the girl in, "sweet dreams" she said plainly.

Natasha wasn't much for pet names or pleasantries.

Ekaterina only rolled onto her side in response.

Once Natasha thought the girl was asleep, she made her way towards the door.

With one hand on the door she heard something.

"спасибо мама" (thank you, mom)

It was so quiet, the woman was almost certain she made it up. The girl never called her that anymore.

Natasha felt her heart swell,

"спи спокойно мой ребёнок" (sleep well my baby) the woman whispered to the sleeping girl.

Closing the door softly, Natasha exhaled deeply.

She was beginning to feel all of the emotions that she had not allowed herself to feel.

And like a tsunami, they washed over her. All of the guilt of keeping this secret, the pain and anguish that all this time her child, her baby was living the same life so stained by pain and death she had and there was nothing she could have done to stop it. The anger she felt towards Alexei and the Red Room for taking her baby from her.

But amongst all of the emotions that she was processing in that hallway- there was one that stood out.

Love.

It was this almost primal desire to protect Rina and shield her from everything this life would throw at her.

As she stood in the empty, dimly lit hallway. She almost felt at peace standing outside her daughter's door.

"Nat? What are you doing out here? Did you not get Stark's message?" Asked a very tired looking Steve who was very clearly still in his sleep clothes.

His eyes focused more as he got a better look at her still in the clothes she'd been in the day before.

"Did you not go to bed? Is something wrong?" He asked

Natasha shook her head,

"No everything's alright. What did Stark say?" She asked

The man looked like he wanted to argue but then changed his mind,

"Just that there's been a new development and to meet him in the lab" Steve said.

Natasha began to walk and waved her hand as if to say 'well what are you waiting for', leaving Steve to catch up.

As soon as she opened the door, Natasha was welcomed by absolute chaos.

"How could he hack the server? I thought it was secure, Stark?" Bucky was asking a frazzled Tony.

"Listen, he's good. Despite what you think I can't control everything" Tony shot back as he was frantically typing on the keyboard.

"What's going on here?" Natasha asked

Both men turned to look at the woman

"What is she doing here?" Tony asked, pointing his question at Steve.

"Nat, you shouldn't be here" Bucky said gently

"And why the hell not?" She asked in a surprised tone.

Walking further into the lab, she got a good look at all of the monitors.

It was a projection of a man sitting, almost like he was waiting.

It was Alexei.

"Open a line of communication" Natasha said almost instantly.

Now every head turned to look at her and all of their expressions were the same.

They all protested at the same time.

"No way!" Tony said

"Natasha" Wanda began

"I don't think that's a good idea" Steve added

"Are you sure that's wise?" Bucky asked.

Natasha shook her head,

"He obviously wants to contact us, we haven't been able to locate him for over a year. Are we really going to let this opportunity pass?" She asked.

Everyone turned to Tony with their heads tilted as if to as 'she's got a point'.

Tony sighed,

"Get in front of the monitor, I'm going to open audio and visual so get ready, Romanoff" the man said.

Natasha nodded and stood in front of the main computer.

Tony held up his hand and began to count down

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Tony nodded.

"Alexei" Natasha said, her voice uninterested and bored.

"Ah, hello Natalia you look as lovely as ever" the strong Russian accent said over the speaker.

"I wish I could say the same about you Alexei but I'm trying not to lie these days" she said

Alexei just let out a deep chuckle,

"It is good to see that you have not yet lost that sharp tongue of yours" he chuckled.

"Get to it, I can't imagine that you went through all this trouble just to flirt with me, the time has passed for that" she said seriously.

"No, like usual you are correct. I have called you here for a greater purpose" he said

"Is everyone there, Natalia?" He asked her.

Natasha looked around, so he wanted them all together?

The woman nodded.

Alexei smiled,

"Good, good. Now let me see them" the man said.

Natasha glanced around and nodded.

Slowly everyone present filled the computer screen.

Alexei clicked his tongue,

"Natalia you lied to me- where is my Little Ballerina? I've missed her so" the man said in a mocking tone.

Beside her both Bucky and Steve stiffened

"Stand down, boys. This is what he wants" she whispered so low that the microphone could not pick it up.

"Yeah I might have lied about not lying anymore" she paused, "my bad" she said antagonistically.

Alexei tilted his head,

"There's the Natalia I remember" he said.

The woman shook her head,

"I haven't been that woman in a long time" she said.

Alexei chuckled,

"You haven't run as far away as you might think" the man said.

"You either, James. You think that the Winter Soldier is behind you but a soldier is all you will ever be" Alexei said, "whether it's Hydra or the Avengers, you will always be a puppet"

"Though I guess you have some consolation now, you had a part in bringing something incredible into this world, I guess I should be thanking you" Alexei thought aloud.

"My time as the Winter Soldier isn't something that should be congratulated" Bucky said.

"Your work has been a gift to mankind, you shaped the century as the Winter Soldier. But no, that was not what I was referring to" the man said.

And at that moment. 

Natasha understood.

Her whole body stiffened in fear.

No. No.

She wasn't ready to give up this secret just yet.

She needed more time.

Time she did not have.

"No" she whispered.

"Ah you always have been a clever girl, Natalia. I should have known you would figure it out. Though it is a pity as I wanted to be the one to tell you, the world moves on I guess" Alexei said.

"Nat, what is he talking about?" Bucky asked her

The woman just shook her head.

"She didn't tell you?" Alexei smiled.

"Tell me what?" Bucky's aggravation was growing, he hated being two steps behind.

"I pity you, to have something you want so close but being unable to grasp the full spectrum. I've read your file, Barnes, the eldest of a large family. I'm sure you dreamed of one of your own, a white picket fence with a few blue eyed babies running about" Alexei said.

"I'm not one to dwell on what could have been, I am happy with where I am" Bucky said honestly. But deep down, Alexei's words struck a nerve. It was something he'd always dreamed about.

"What if I told you it wasn't just a dream" Alexei said.

"Stop" the word sounded strangled coming from Natasha's lips.

"But why I'm having such fun" Alexei laughed.

Bucky's face was unreadable,

"What do you mean?" He asked, his voice angry.

"What if I told you there was a little girl sleeping down the hall with half your DNA?" Alexei asked.

"I'd say you were out of your mind" the man fired back

Alexei laughed,

"Oh am I? Look around Barnes, is that honestly the strangest thing you've heard?" The man asked.

Bucky turned away from the screen,

"Natasha, what is he talking about?" He asked her.

He asked her, one of the few people he truly and genuinely trusted. One of the few people who had seen into his past and not turned away.

"I-" but the words wouldn't come.

"It started out as an experiment, boredom really. We just wanted to see if it could work. We still had both of your genetic material, so the scientist got to work. They wanted to see what could happen if they combined the DNA of two of Hydra's best assets" Alexei was explaining.

"And it worked. Well after a few errors, we got a beautiful baby girl with tufts of fiery red hair and a stubborn will" he continued.

"But we needed to put her to the test, to see if she truly lived up to expectations. So we reinstated the Widow program and she did not disappoint, so that Mr. Barnes is why I thank you" the man finished.

Bucky turned to look at Natasha, tears slowly falling from his eyes,

"You knew and you didn't tell me?" He asked, nearly breathless.

"I couldn't-" she began

"What a shame, all this time under your roof you still couldn't recognize your own daughter" Alexei said

Natasha's head turned to face the camera,

"What of your son? You left him to die in compound alone. What kind of father abandons his son?" She spat back.

Alexei let out a loud laugh,

"My son was an embarrassment. I gave him all the tools to succeed and he still failed. He was soft and you only made him softer" the man said.

"But that is no worry of mine now. Now, his is as he should have been- a good soldier." Alexei said

"He- he's alive?" Tony's trembling voice asked from behind Natasha.

"He's alright?" Natasha breathed. So much was happening, the boy who had died in her arms was alive.

"While I still have use of him" Alexei said casually, "he serves me as any child should serve their parent"

What did he mean by that? Serve him? What did the man want?

Bucky and Natasha turned to one another,

"Rina!"

Hi!! So this chapter is shorter, I actually did this on purpose! For dramatic effect lol. But I am working on more! Also check out my new book! It's different for me! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! All the secrets I planned are now out! Also im a little sad that no one has noticed what I'm doing with the chapter titles. As always, comment your reactions, thoughts and theories!! I love you and stay safe!
Xoxo,
Renee