^^ this picture perfectly sums up what happened while I was writing this chapter. I hit the biggest wall creatively, the words would just not cooperate with me lol. But nevertheless I hope you enjoy!!
Xoxo,
Renee

Bucky thought it was a great idea. He knew socialization could really help in recovery. While Rina did great with all of them and Peter, she needed friends her own age.

He'd been surprised when he found out that Sam had a daughter. At first he was a little hurt that he hasn't known but after thinking about it, he understood.

The plan was for Rina and Darlene to meet in the living room while Sam and Nat kept an eye on them.

He had wanted to be there but knew it better the less people present.

As much as he wanted to focus on Rina-

There were new developments that required his attention.

For the past few weeks they had been tracking the movements of an assassin who took out corrupt politicians, government officials and a few others with significant power.

They had no discernible physical traits and always wore a mask that covered their entire face.

And each time they tried to track them- they were a ghost story.

They assassin disappeared as quickly as they appeared and were gone without a trace.

It was under control for now but they all knew how quickly the tables could turn and the cards could fall.

But for right now, he didn't worry much about it. It was probably a bid for power and the threat should dissipate quickly.

So his focus was on Rina. 

Rina was so excited when Natasha asked her if she was up to it.

It was the most excited they had seen the girl since she'd been back. She still didn't bounce on her feet or squeak in excitement. Her emotions were now more silent, a hint of a smile or the shine in her eyes.

It was there if you looked for it.

However seldom they may be.

Rina was in her room alone.

She preferred the silence. When she could be alone and be herself without everyone's expectations of who she was or who she should be weighing on her.

Mostly she liked the isolation because if she didn't see anyone... she couldn't disappoint them.

She didn't think she could cope with that.

~~~

"Darlene? Sarah?" Sam shouted as he opened the door to his small home in New York City.

He'd bought the small home shortly after joining the Avengers.

His little sister, Sarah moved in with him when Darlene was around two years old. Sam was having a difficult time raising a baby girl alone and dealing with his own issues. So having Sarah help him was a lifesaver. Even after all these years, Sarah still lived with them even after Sam said they were fine on their own- she stayed.

Sam had walked through nearly the entire house until he heard 90's R&B blasting from upstairs and he knew exactly where they were.

The door to the large bathroom was open and inside Darlene was signing along to the music loudly, a hairbrush in hand acting as a microphone while the girl danced around.

Sarah was sitting on the edge of the bathtub reading a magazine, mouthing the lyrics to the song.

Leaning against the door frame, Sam tried to hide his laughter with a smirk.

"So, when's the world tour? I do get a ticket, right?" Sam asked when the song finally stopped.

Darlene dropped the hairbrush in surprise,

"Dad!" She shouted, turning to run into his arms.

Sam had to take a few steps back from the sheer force of the hug,

"Hey, pumpkin" he said affectionately.

Although he tried to be in her life as much as he could, most days he left for work before she woke up and came back when she was already asleep.

"No way, Sammy. When the world tour comes around, I get the first ticket. Right, Dar?" Sarah joked from her seat, magazine hanging from her fingers, forgotten.

"You've got the first ticket, Auntie S" Darlene said, her arm around her dad's middle in a half hug.

"What?" Sam asked in mock shock, "what about your old man? That's not right" he joked.

Darlene smiled her brilliant smile,

"I love you, dad but that's my girl, my day one, my go to" Darlene listed playfully.

Sam and Sarah exchanged a look.

Sarah chuckled as she got up, she stopped when she stood in front of her brother and niece.

"You hear that big brother, you better watch out" she said jokingly before walking out of the bathroom.

Sam shook his head as his sister left.

Darlene moved away from him to pick up the fallen hairbrush.

"You really gonna do me like that, Darlene Riley Wilson?" He asked using her full name.

Darlene shrugged playfully,

"Hey we girls gotta stick together, this is a cruel world we live in, pops" she joked

San nodded, he couldn't argue with that. He had Darlene in martial arts classes from the moment she could walk and he felt better knowing she could defend herself. But that didn't stop him from working to make this world a better place for her to live.

"You ready? We are running late, we were supposed to be there ten minutes ago" he said

"Hey, good things take time" she fired back as she ran into her room

Sam rolled his eyes and followed her.

"Alright, comedy hour is over, you ready?" He asked, growing impatient.

He was leaning against the door frame, looking into his daughter's room. The walls were a soft pink color, nearly covered in scientific posters and awards from her school and sketches she'd made.

At age 10, she'd found an early prototype of Redwing. A young Darlene took the drone apart, sketching the design on one page and then on another, she redrew the design- modifying it to be more efficient.

Ever since then the girl had been obsessed with all things tech, she was fluent in coding and could fix nearly any machine with a good playlist and the right tools.

Darlene was throwing a coat over her 'the future is female' t-shirt and hot pink skirt.

"Ready" She said, grabbing her large bag.

~~~

"Put your weight on the front of your feet, Rina" Nat instructed.

The woman had her arms stretched out, preparing to catch Rina if she should fall.

While Rina was teetering on a pair of high heels,

"These don't seem practical, Natalia. What happens if a woman needs to run or fight. She can not do either of those things in these- these death traps" she said in her usual serious tone.

The girl took another tentative step, hands grasping onto Natasha's as she stumbled slightly.

"They aren't supposed to be practical, honey" Nat laughed.

"I suppose I could take them off and wield them. With enough force they could be sharp enough" Rina shrugged, thinking out loud.

Rina had been looking in Nat's closet for something to wear as she loved to borrow the woman's clothes as she had a major growth spurt since having the serum. She now towered over the woman.

The girl was now much taller than the redhead but they had the same slim build so the woman's clothes fit Rina perfectly. It was then she had seen the stiletto heels and asked Natasha about them.

So Natasha decided that was the perfect time for a lesson.

"Stop looking at your feet and stand up straight" the woman instructed gently, her focus less on the girl's feet and more on the girl's hands in hers.

This is the first time Rina let anyone touch her since she's been back.

Rina's brow was furrowed in concentration. She applied all of Natasha's directions.

She smiled,

"I think I'm getting the hang of it!" She exclaimed happily squeezing Natasha's hands.

Natasha grinned,

"You are!" She encouraged, taking a few steps back for Rina to follow her,

Rina followed forward, she was becoming more confident

"Soon you'll be able to take on the world in high heels" Natasha said proudly.

Ekaterina made a face and lost concentration causing her stumble sending them both into a laughing fit.

Their laughter echoed through the compound.

For a moment all was well.

It was better than well- it was perfect.

For a moment, Natasha didn't worry about the dark circles beneath Ekaterina's eyes or the way the girl still flinched when anyone got too close or spoke too loudly.

For a moment, they forgot about everything except each other, both their heads thrown back in laughter like they would have always been if life had been kind to them.

But it had not.

And that's all it was.

Just a moment.

Like everything else, moment pass and move on.

Rina's laughter died down and her dark eyes met Natasha's green ones.

And the girl smiled.

But then she looked down and saw Natasha's hands around hers.

And the moment shattered.

Quickly it all became too much for the girl.

Rina quickly pulled her hands away as if Natasha had burned her, letting them fall to her sides and taking half a step back.

A look of hurt flashed across Natasha's eyes and disappeared as quickly as it formed.

Ekaterina wanted to apologize but she couldn't bring herself to.

And Natasha understood. She understood more than she should have.

"It's alright, I shouldn't have pushed you" she said

Rina opened her mouth to say something when the elevator opened.

She saw Sam walking out of the elevator with the prettiest girl she'd ever seen.

"We should have brought something" Darlene was whispering to Sam

"Like what?" The man asked his daughter, confused.

"I don't know! Like a cake or something, Aunt Sarah says it's rude to show up empty handed" she whispered seriously.

"Well we don't care much for manners here anyways" Natasha said walking forward.

Sam gestured towards Natasha in a 'thank you' motion,

"Told you" he said in his usual joking tone continuing to walk further into the compound.

They kept walking until they were in front of Natasha and Rina.

Darlene's eyes were wide as she looked at Natasha,

"I just have to say, I love you. I think you're great" Darlene said with a dazzling smile.

Natasha tilted her head with a soft smile while Rina grinned.

"I think so too" Rina agreed happily, looking up at Natasha admiringly.

Darlene quickly turned her attention to Rina, her face in its usual smile,

"I love you too! My old man has told me so much about you!" Darlene gushed.

Rina tilted her head. She heard never heard that word 'love' said so many times but Rina could tell the girl meant it. Rina sensed that Darlene loved like most people breathed.

Ekaterina looked at Sam and then back at Darlene,

"Sam is not that old, he looks quite good for his age" she said seriously.

Darlene didn't even bat an eye,

"It's just an expression- another name for a father or a father figure" Darlene explained kindly.

"Ah" Rina said in understanding.

"Thank you, Rina" Sam said, sending a playful glare towards his daughter.

"You are welcome" she said frankly.

"So do you want to show me around?" Darlene asked Rina, "I've heard so much about this place"

Rina was about to respond when Sam interrupted,

"Sorry Rina, she can be a bit bossy" the man said with a soft smile.

"I prefer leadership skills" Darlene said.

Rina couldn't help but laugh,

"I like her" the blonde said with a chuckle.

"Come on Darlene, I will show you around" Rina said.

~~~

"This place is amazing! It's like I've died and gone to heaven. That lab was insane! Do you know how much good tech like that could do? And the AI is out of this world!" Darlene gushed as Rina led her around the compound.

Rina was listening intently- she didn't understand all the tech and words the girl was using but she liked listening to her.

Darlene caught onto this,

"Sorry, I get so excited I forget to speak English" the girl joked.

Rina tilted her head,

"But you were speaking English" she said

Darlene smiled,

"It's another phrase- things like tech talk can sound like another language when you don't completely understand them" she explained without missing a beat.

That was the thing about Darlene- she didn't judge. She took everything as it came. Rina liked that about her. She never made Rina feel bad about not understanding certain things like the others did, even if they didn't mean it.

Rina nodded in understanding.

She was learning so many new things.

The girl was carrying the heels in her hand, she had taken them off when she had began giving Darlene the tour of the compound.

Again Darlene didn't even bat an eye she just said something along the lines of 'every kick ass woman needs a kick ass pair of shoes'. And Rina just nodded. That was another new word.

They had been in all the exciting rooms at the compound so Rina began to lead the girl to the last room.

"Here's my room" Rina said opening the door.

Darlene walked in first.

She looked around the large room. She was partly saddened to see a room with blank white walls and absolutely no pictures or any sign that anyone actually lived there at all.

It made her sad especially because she knew that her room was her safe space. Her space to decorate as her own.

"I like it" Darlene said looking around.

Until something caught her eye and it made her stop.

On the floor, next to the bed, there was a blanket and a single pillow.

Darlene had seen that before.

Rina had forgotten to pick them up earlier in the day.

"I knocked them off in my sleep" Rina lied

Darlene shook her head.

The older girl set her large bag on the floor before lowering herself down to sit.

Rina followed, sitting in front of the girl on the floor.

"It's too soft isn't it?" Darlene asked softly, nodding towards the large bed.

Rina tilted her head. How had the girl known that, she hadn't told anyone about that.

"It's like sleeping on a marshmallow, I feel like I'll sink right through" she admitted honestly.

Darlene smiled softly,

"My dad gets the same way" she said.

Darlene wasn't going to tell her that it gets better or everything will be alright because the girl honestly didn't know. Everyone's progress is different. But she just wanted to girl to know that she was here and that she'd listen.

Rina nodded. She hadn't expected the transition back to 'normal' to be this difficult. She'd adjusted to life at the compound so easily only a year ago. She guessed she'd been a different person then.

"I suppose you both fought a war of sorts" Darlene noted aloud

"He is a good man" Rina said.

Darlene nodded,

"Yeah" she said.

The girl admired her father more than anyone in her life. He took everything that life threw at him with a grain of salt. There were lessons to be learned out of every situation. Darlene wanted to be just like him.

Darlene cleared her throat, leaning over she grabbed her large purse.

"my dad told me that you had curly hair and I thought maybe I could help you with it?" Darlene asked.

The girl figured no one had ever taught Rina how to care for and maintain her curls. Washing and caring for her hair was something that her Aunt Sarah had taught her and it was one of her most cherished memories. Since she'd never met her mother, the woman wasn't ready for children and had given Sam full custody of Darlene shortly after her birth so her aunt Sarah was sort of like a mother figure to her.

Rina self consciously brought her hand to her head where her hair was pulled back in its usual tight bun.

"What is wrong with my hair?" She asked bluntly.

Darlenes eyes widened,

"Nothing! Nothing is wrong with your hair, you were gone for a year and I'm sure Hydra wasn't a five star hotel and I thought you might want a little help" the girl said honestly.

Rina nodded,

"Uh sure" she said.

Darlene grinned.

~~~

Darlene then spent the next hour detangling Rina's hair, caring for it with different masks and oils to restore the damage it had sustained.

All the while, the girls talked about everything.

Darlene told Rina about her childhood memories. She was a very good storyteller.

Darlene talked about how once a bird flew into their home. The poor thing was so confused and kept trying to fly into the windows. She laughed as she described how her dad and aunt were running about the house trying to catch it as her hands gently worked through Rina's knots. Darlene then went on to describe how she caught the bird with her own two hands.

It was kind of gentleness that Rina could not mirror but longed to.

Rina didn't have any fun memories or stories to share that didn't bring along pain.

All of her good memories happened with a dark haired boy who would never again laugh. Never grow older.

And in that moment she realized that she couldn't remember the exact blue of his eyes or the sound of his voice.

Those small details she hadn't thought to treasure were now gone forever.

Funny thing memory is.

Now she'd have to go on, make her own memories.

But until then.

She just listened.

She was good at that.

After all those years there was one thing she had learned-

Silence.

She was fluent in it.

But her silence wasn't lonely anymore. It was a comfortable sort of silence when talking wasn't needed.

And Darlene didn't mind. She understood that Rina may not have the fun memories that she did and that was alright, Darlene would share hers.

If she could, Darlene would trade her good memories for Rina's terrible ones. She would take Rina's awful, inescapable memories if that meant Rina could experience what she had. Rina shouldn't have to bear all of that.

But it was impossible. Despite how much Darlene wished it, she couldn't hold Rina's weight for her.

But she could help to make it lighter.

So Darlene continued to do the only thing she knew how to do- joke and laugh.

Both girls laughed until until their ribs got tough and their stomachs hurt. Just enjoying each other's company.

Darlene's hands were gentle as they finished, leaving Rina's hair spiraling down in shiny, healthy curls.

"Woah" Rina said as she looked into the mirror.

She had never seen herself like this before. Growing up, hair was more of a distraction and a hindrance than something beautiful.

Darlene then laid all the products she had used on the counter explaining the order and how much to use.

Rina took mental notes of everything.

After that the girl found their way back into the room, sitting on the floor, legs crossed talking as if they'd known one another for years. They didn't feel the need to hide from one another. Darlene was shamelessly herself and that empowered Rina to be the same.

"No way!" Rina exclaimed, "what happened next?"

Darlene who was laughing hysterically at her own story was about to answer when the door opened.

"Hey, Ace you'll never what happened at school today" Peter said excitedly as he entered the room, he had one hand on the door handle and in the other he held a pack of cards.

He faltered completely when he saw Darlene.

Both girls turned to look at the intruding boy.

"Peter?" Darlene asked curiously

"Darlene! W-what are you doing here?" He asked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Darlene quickly looked at Rina.

And Rina understood instantly.

Peter didn't know who Darlene's father was and Darlene didn't know about Peter's secret identity.

"This is my new friend Darlene, Natasha used to teach her martial arts and thought we would get along" Rina lied easily.

Darlene still had her trademark smile,

"And we do!" The girl grinned, "we could practically take on the world together" Darlene joked, she sent Rina a grateful look.

"Oh, that's awesome" Peter said, his voice unsteady like he still couldn't believe they were all in the same room, his eyes never leaving Darlene.

"So how do you two know each other?" Rina asked curiously.

"Oh we don't really" Darlene said honestly, "we go to school together" she clarified.

Peter looked like he wanted to say more but didn't.

They went to school together? Rina didn't know that.

"Peter why don't you sit down, Darlene was just telling me about what Flash did today" Rina said change the subject.

That seemed to put Peter at ease just a little was Darlene launched into the story, laughing and talking with her hands.

And the entire time Peter watched Darlene and Rina watched Peter.

He was so engrossed in her story even though he'd been there and lived it already.

When Darlene finished her story, Rina found herself faking her laughter. Why did she feel this way? What was this feeling. She didn't know but she didn't like it.

Soon after that a knock sounded at the door.

"Ekaterina? Darlene? You in there?" Natasha's voice called.

"We're in here" Rina called.

The woman opened the door,

"Alright girls-" she began but stopped when she saw the extra person,

"Peter" she greeted, surprised to see the boy, "aren't you supposed to be with Mr. Stark for your internship?" She asked, she was trying to learn what he knew.

Behind Peter, Rina just nodded at Natasha wanting to let the woman know that she took care of it.

"Well, technically yes but-" Peter began.

"It's alright" Natasha interrupted him, understanding Rina's cue.

She then turned her attention to Darlene,

"Sam will drive you home, Darlene, thank you for coming" she said to the other girl.

"Thanks for having me, Ms. Romanoff" Darlene said politely.

"Bye Rina, I had such a good time! I'd love to hang out again some time soon, if that's alright with you" Darlene said to her new friend.

"I did too and I would like that very much" Rina said.

Darlene grinned before turning to Peter,

"I'll see you at school" was all she said before letting Natasha guide her away.

Natasha gave Rina a look before walking away.

As soon as the door closed, Peter turned to look at Rina.

He had a look on his face that Rina could not read.

"That was Darlene Anderson, she's one of the most popular girls in school. I didn't even think she knew who I was" Peter said wistfully.

"She's lovely" Ekaterina said honestly.

Rina knew that Darlene went by a different last name at her school but she didn't know which school.

It was becoming increasingly clearer who the girl Peter had been telling her about the other day was.

"I think I'm going to ask her to the Homecoming dance" Peter said

Ekaterina smiled,

"I think that's a great idea" she encouraged.

She would be lying if she didn't admit that she didn't fully mean those words. But she didn't know why. It was a feeling she couldn't place as she'd never felt like this before.

It was an awful feeling that she didn't like at all. It wasn't her, she wasn't one to indulge the little green monster of jealousy that was currently tugging on her heart.

She pushed the feeling down, the way she pushed all her other emotions down.

"She loves peonies" Rina told him, "pink ones, that's her favorite color"

Peter finally turned to her, a grin on his face,

"That's a great idea!" He exclaimed,

He grabbed her hand in his in excitement.

"You're the best, Ace. I don't know what I'd do without you" he said

And Rina just shrugged,

"Let's hope you never have to find out" she said, patting his hand reassuringly.

"Alright, well I gotta go. Mr. Stark is probably waiting on me but we can play cards tomorrow! Thanks again!" He said as he walked out the door.

"Bye, Peter" Rina said to the empty space.

~~~

Once Peter left Rina was left alone with only her thoughts to keep her company.

Everything was fine when she was around other people, the demons only seemed to come out when she was alone.

Sometimes she could fight them off, think of good things or distract herself in some way.

But not today.

Today- they were raging.

Today the demons came in the form of memories.

She was beginning to remember more and more of them.

Most of them were not pleasant.

And they haunted her.

It was a subtle kind of haunting- a pain that she could feel in her bones. It was a kind of pain that can only be experienced in her bones.

And it was suffocating her, it was too much to bear.

It was't the screams or cries that haunted her- but rather it was their eyes.

The eyes pleaded silently and in a way that was worse.

All the screams blended together but it was the eyes that stuck with her.

And she was getting to point where they were all she could think about.

Then she remembered something said to her. It felt like a lifetime ago but they stood out to her- "what we've had to do in order to survive do not define us".

She didn't truly believe those words but it made her feel less alone to know that there was someone who understood what she was going through.

So she decided to try something,

"Robot?" she said, voice wavering.

"How may I help you, Ms. Ivanovna?" the robotic voice sounded.

"Do you know where my papa is?" she asked

"He appears to be in the greenhouse. Would you like me to alert him for you?" the AI questioned.

"No!" she exclaimed before clearing her throat, "I mean no, that is alright" she said softer this time.

"Thank you, Friday" she said genuinely.

"You are welcome, Ekaterina" the voice said.

The girl could not help but smile at the use of her name.

Growing up, she did not hear it often- the girls were not supposed to have names they were referred to as 'widow', 'girl' or just 'you'.

Names were too personal, it was effective she supposed.

She supposed she was lucky- some girls did not even have a name at all as they were sold to the academy before they could be given one.

So most of the girls named each other or gave themselves a name.

Ekaterina had always known her name- she never gave much thought as to how- she was just grateful to have one.

Though she was not sure if she lived up to it.

Ekaterina means 'pure' or 'innocent'. She hadn't been either of those things in years- maybe she never had been.

She wondered what aspirations her parents had for her when they named her that. She wondered if they'd be proud of her- wherever they were.

She hoped they were.

Most girls gave themselves strong names, names important to them or they had a name given to them based on their personality.

Ekaterina found herself remembering the boys and girls she'd grown up with, fought with.

Aleandra- Rina did not know her exact age but Aleandra was the first to arrive at the Academy and considered the oldest. She was given her name for a reason, "defender" and that is what she was. She defended the younger girls from the older ones.

Another girl who was given her name was Inessa. Rina remembered her being quite fit and strong physically. But emotionally the girl lived up to her name. Inessa was the most 'gentle' of them all, she never had the heart for all of the violence and fighting that it took to survive. She was one of the first to go. Rina saw Inessa's death as a sort of blessing in disguise, at least the girl was at peace now.

Not all of the girls were given kind names. Manya was one of the last to be given a name. The dark haired girl had been in a fight with another girl over something Ekaterina could not remember. But she did remember the other girl shouting out Manya or 'bitter'. And the name kind of stuck.

Some of the girls named themselves based on what was important to them or what they thought of themselves. Vlada wanted it all, she was cunning and ruthless. True to her name, Valda wanted to 'rule' everything. And for a while she did, but that ambition and arrogance was her downfall.

The last girl that she could remember was Galina. Galina didn't talk much during her time at the Academy. She was quiet, planning from the shadows. She never showed any emotion other than a calm, uninterested expression no matter the circumstance. And it worked for her. In the end it came down to her and Ekaterina and they all knew the end to that story.

The boys did the same things as well. She remembered them just as well.

Dima, she remembered as stubborn. He had been matched with Manya, they did not get along at first but as the years went on they became a deadly duo. Manya had actually been the one to give him his name. She had him pinned one day during a sparring match but he kept struggling and trying to get free. Manya had laughed and said 'you're a real fighter aren't you?'. And the name stuck.

Andrej had been very lean and thin. He had a terrible cough that never seemed to leave him. He had been matched with Inessa as they had similar physical and emotional traits. Both weren't really physical fighters but nevertheless up until the ever end, Andrej lived up to his name, he was brave.

Armen had been the counterpart to Vlada. He never took risks, he was very simple and never really planned ahead. He always listened to what Vlada said, she was the mastermind behind their success but also their downfall. And Armen listened, he listened like a soldier which was how he got his name.

Kazmir was on of the only boys to name himself. He had always been one of the strongest fighters, he was big and he fast. Nearly the perfect Red Guardian. Kazmir thought very highly of himself, this was very evident in his name which roughly means 'he who destroys the world'. He had been matched with Aleandra, the superiors thought that they would balance each other out. And for a while they did but ultimately it had been Kazmir who failed, Aleandra not far behind.

Lev had been kind, despite it all he was unfailingly kind. Both Rina and Maxim had a soft spot for the boy. Lev was one of the few who remembered life before the Academy and he would tell the others stories about life on the outside. He remembered his parents and the name they had given him- lion was the literal translation. But he never let his kindness turn into weakness. He had been partnered with Galina and they made it all the way to the end. There were times when Ekaterina thought Lev and Galina would win but she was wrong.

Ekaterina remembered them as she made her way down to the greenhouse.

She was grateful to them. For the lessons they'd taught her and the sacrifices they made.

There was one more person who she would ever be grateful for.

The boy who was her light in the dark. Like an asteroid too bright to last, passed her by.

She missed him terribly.

The world was so strange without him nearby.

She'd always remember that blue eyed boy with razor sharp tongue who never failed to make her laugh.

Even if he hadn't thought so- he completely lived up to his name. He truly was 'the greatest'.

But the ghosts weren't the only thing haunting her.

It was the voice and feeling that she occasionally got. And though she tried to ignore it- she knew it was The Little Ballerina in the back of her mind fighting to be free.

And she needed to talk about it to the only person who could possibly understand.

Ekaterina took a deep breath before pushing open the doors to the greenhouse.

It didn't take her long to find Bucky who was kneeling besides a bed of daffodils adding soil to the plot.

He looked up when he heard the footsteps.

His face immediately broke out into a smile when he saw her,

"Hi, Katie. How was your visit?" He asked wiping his hands on his jeans.

"It was really good" she said genuinely, "she was really funny and kind"

"That's good, kid. You needed a friend" he said turning his attention back to the flowers.

"Yeah" was all she could manage.

After a moment of silence Bucky looked back up at the girl who was looking anywhere but at him.

"Is there something else going on?" He asked gently.

"I- I think I'm getting bad again" she said simply.

He promptly stood, his full attention on the girl. He gently guided them to sit on one of the nearby benches.

He simply nodded, letting her know that he was ready to listen.

She wasn't sure about how to talk about what was happening without mentioning how much it hurt.

There must be a way for her to care for the wounds Hydra gave her without reopening them.

She just needed to find a way to name the pain without inviting it back in.

Rina thought for a moment,

"I-It's like I'm Andromeda" she said, meeting his gaze,

"It's like I'm chained to the rock unable to move. And I'm pulling on the chains but it's no use. I'm stuck" she said, mind spinning on how to put her feelings into words.

"And I know the monster is coming for me, I can hear it, but there's nothing I can do but wait. But in this version of the story, there's no prince coming to save me" she finished.

Rina just looked at him, hoping that he understood what she was saying.

There was no easy way for her to say that she didn't feel in control.

She was always so put together that being the opposite was difficult for her to wrap her head around.

Bucky thought for a moment,

"Is the monster in this story the Little Ballerina?" He asked gently.

Ekaterina nodded, unable to voice the concern.

"Ok" the man said softly.

He knew what it was like to have the phantom voice in the back of his head.

Nagging.

Pulling.

And there was nothing he could do to ease this for her.

As much as he wanted to.

He couldn't take this from her.

"I still hear it sometimes too" he admitted.

Ekaterina who had been looking towards the flower beds, immediately turned her attention to him.

"Really?" She asked in astonishment,

"What do you do?" She asked, "when you hear the voice?"

He thought for a moment,

"At first there wasn't much I could do but try to ignore it but over time it got softer and softer" he said

"But how?" Rina pushed

"I became louder. Every time I heard it I would remind myself who I was. I would tell myself "I am no longer the Winter Soldier, I am James 'Bucky' Barnes" that little reminder is all it takes sometimes" he said

"That's all it takes?" Rina asked

The man shook his head.

He wished it were that simple.

"Not quite, but it's-" he began

"It's a start. I know, I know" she cut him off, finishing his sentence, he'd told her that before.

"But you don't have to go through it alone. There are so many people who love and care for you, sweetheart, you don't have to carry it by yourself" he said kindly.

He wished that she would take his advice, she'd never come looking for it before so he really hoped she'd take it to heart.

"I know. It's just difficult- I've never had family like this before- I'm used to being alone. Used to dealing with my problems alone" she said honestly,

"Because it's weakness, and weaknesses can be exploited" she finished.

"You aren't at war anymore, Katie" he said but even as he said it- it felt like a lie.

"Maybe" she said but she didn't quite believe it,

"But my fingers still drip red, I do not want to stain you all with them" she said

She knew that her words were cryptic but she hoped he understood anyways.

And he did.

He shifted so that she would look at him,

"Ekaterina" he said.

He never said her full name, it was always 'Rina' or 'Katie' but never 'Ekaterina'.

"We understand more than you think, you will not burden any of us with what you have to say. Is that clear?" He asked.

Rina nodded.

That had been her issue. She didn't share because she thought it would be too heavy or too dark to share. She didn't think anyone else should have to carry that.

But she was beginning to change her mind.

~~~

She went to sleep that night, content and satisfied with herself. 

But somewhere across the world:

Someone else was waking from what seemed like an eternity of sleep, their mind blank and unsure.

Somewhere across the world:

A pair of tired eyes open.

I listened to Olivia Rodrigo's new album Sour while writing this so everyone say 'thank you' to Ms. Rodrigo haha. I could match each song to this book, it was just so good!! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I almost cut out the scene of Darlene doing Rina's hair but I kept it because I feel like hair is just such a special thing to so many people, it is to me and it was a cute bonding moment. What do we think about the Peter-Rina-Darlene angst?? It was originally going to be Peter-Rina-Maxim angst but- ya know. I just feel like Peter would fall in love with pretty much everyone he meets so it just felt right lol. This chapter kicked my butt, I didn't know what direction I wanted to go in and the writers block set in. But I hope you enjoyed! As always stay safe and I love you!
Xoxo,
Renee