Note: this will be a sadder chapter, no real warnings or triggers expect coming to terms with the death of a loved one. So I apologize in advance but if you know me, you know I love a good sad chapter. So continue :) I will be adding my own spin so if it doesn't completely align with the MCU plot, that is my choice.

Images were flashing before her eyes like a film on a reel. But she was unable to tell if they were real or not. Some of them seemed too good to be true while others felt like a nightmare. 

She saw a a woman with gentle eyes leaning over her singing softly in Spanish, a quiet lullaby that she had long since forgotten.

Then a cross looking woman with her hair pulled tightly into a bun was standing in front of her, telling her to do it again.

Next she saw red, bloodied knuckles. She recognized them as her own. She was sat on a bed, she looked up and there were a row of beds with girls around her age cradling equally broken hands.

Next she remembered her entire body aching, she'd just learned to fight. In her memory, she looked up, there were less girls present this time. She didn't know where the girls had gone.

She caught flashes of a dark haired boy and the stars.

That was her favorite memory she'd remembered so far. She didn't know who this boy was but she did know that she had grown up with him and that she had felt strongly towards him. She thought about him often, she hoped he was doing well. Above all, she hoped he was looking at the stars where ever he was.

Suddenly she remembered fighting a dark haired girl. Why did all of her memories have to do with fighting? Who had she been? Who was she?

She tried to focus on this memory,

~~~

The blonde girl placed an expert kick to the other girl's left, obviously injured leg, the snap was deafening. She let out a scream as she fell, trying desperately to get back up but the blonde kicked her in the chest, knocking the wind out of her.

The blonde girl wrapped her arm around her opponents neck,

"извините, я надеюсь, что следующая жизнь буде добре для нас" (I'm sorry, I hope the next life will be kinder to us) she said before giving one final pull. With a snap the dark haired girl fell and blonde fell next to her, sobbing.

"отлично, Екатерина" (excellent, Ekaterina) came the voice of the woman she had seen earlier.

~~~

No, no, no? She'd killed that girl? Why? Oh why.

"No, no enough" the girl cried  out.

Her breathing was shallow and quick, she was nearly hyperventilating. She tried to move her arms to wipe away her tears or hide her face but the restraints held her to the chair.

Tony who was sending the calculated electric shocks to the young girl through wires connected to her temples in order to trigger her memory set his mouth into a hard line,

"Friday, cut the power" he said to the ai, and the electricity running from the wires ceased.

He'd offered to try this method after extensive research, he had seen the method used on Bucky in Wakanda and the billionaire philanthropist thought he could do better.

And it was working.

Ekaterina could successfully remember her early years. Mainly glimpses of her parents and her training in the academy. Both the ballet and the other... well she didn't really quite understand what she had done. Or why. But she knew that she didn't like to think about it.

Sometimes the girl still believed that her name was the Little Ballerina and that she had a mission to complete. His face wouldn't leave her mind, she had to find this target soon.

Yet other times, she remembered flashes of a softer time. The smell of pancakes and the taste of chocolate would come to her along with the laughter of a man and woman. And she wasn't sure who they were. But she did know one thing for certain: she knew that she would follow them into hell if that is what it would take to keep them safe.

Her mind was constantly at war, even when she wasn't in sessions with Tony, the memories would return regardless. Sometimes good but mostly they were bad.

Like today. All she could see was the face of that girl, the feel of her neck beneath her arms, her warmth fading to cold as Rina sobbed over her.

"Do you need a break, kid?" The man asked gently from behind the glass wall that protected him from her.

She shook her head,

"No, I'm fine" she said in a tone stronger than she felt.

Her arms were bound so she couldn't wipe away the tears so she just pretended they weren't there. She knew the man could see what memories came to her on his magic tablet. She couldn't help but feel a bit embarrassed.

"Whatever you say, chica" the man said gently.

She nodded at him before closing her eyes to prepare for the electricity to flood her nerves again.

She had been through this enough times to learn that focusing on a certain memory helped.

She tried to steady her breathing as she willed something to come to her.

As much as she didn't want to relive that again, she wanted to know what came after the dark haired girl. So she focused her attention on that.

She focused her attention on the red haired woman and the dark haired man that haunted her dreams.

~~~

The girl was starting to move around but she didn't run.

"We have to help her" Natasha said

"That is not the mission, Natalia"

"I know but what if she was me? Could you kill me?" She said earnestly.

"T-that's different. I-"

"We are helping her" she said before walking over to her.

The girl backed up when Natasha came toward her.

She held out her hands, in a surrender position,

"ты в безопасности, мы не причиним тебе вреда"
(You are safe. We won't hurt you) she said soothingly to girl.

~~~

The girl was brought back to reality with a gasp. They had saved her. They had seen her do a terrible thing and they had saved her anyways. She couldn't believe it. Why?

Before she could think too much about it, she saw the dark haired boy again and she was swept away.

~~~

"I cannot believe you convinced your dad to let us out here" Ekaterina said not looking away from the stars.

When she asked Alexi if her and Maxim could stargaze, for research purposes of course. The last things expected was for him to say yes.

Maxim was laying on his side, his head turned towards her with a smirk on his face.

"My dad will pretty much agree to anything that makes 'Hydra's most valuable asset" happy' he said in a mocking tone.

Finally she turned her head to look at him, reaching out to shove him roughly on the shoulder causing him to fall onto his back with groan.

"Ivanovna, you wound me" he said pressing a hand to his chest dramatically as he stared at the stars. He always called her by her last name even though she always said she hated it, but she really didn't.

Rina rolled onto her side to look at him. After examining him for a second,

"I think you'll be alright" she said before rolling onto her back.

They were silent for a moment.

"Sometimes I think this is all not real" Maxim said breaking the silence.

Rina turned to look at him again, "how so?" She asked curiously

"I don't know" he said honestly, "it's just sometimes I feel like I'll awake and find this all just a nightmare. This cannot be all we are made for, all of this suffering and killing" he said plainly.

Rina had not heard him talk this way in a while so she decided to indulge him,

"And when you awake, what would you do? Where would you go? What does your life look like away from here?" She asked.

He gave her one of his famous grins, she loved when he was like this.

"Easy. When I wake from this nightmare, it's a few years from now and I'm somewhere far away from Russia. Maybe Australia, I've heard the stars are beautiful there" he said but Rina knew he meant somewhere far away from his dad.

"And I don't care what I would do. Maybe I would study the stars, possibly even teach about them. You know how I used to love to teach the younger ones" he said sadly before continuing,

"Oh and you would be there too! We could live together in an apartment, what do you think? What would you do?" Maxim asked her curiously, he had gotten a little carried away but Rina didn't seem to mind.

The girl thought for a moment, a smile on her lips,

"I had never really thought about it. This is all I've ever know. But I think you got it right" she said,

"Australia sounds lovely, we could get a small apartment that we could decorate however we want, and it would have a kitchen where we could cook whatever we want" she said excitedly, now she was getting carried away.

"And while you are going to school I could teach dance until we could save some money. I've never told anyone this but if I wasn't here, I'd think I would like to study to be a doctor and help people" she said breathlessly.

Those dreams were lovely but that all they were. Just dreams.

Rina shook her head, "but that's all just a fantasy" she said turning her head away from him so he wouldn't see her face.

She heard him sit up then she felt his hands on hers, pulling her sit as well.

She felt his fingers beneath her chin, gently turning her face to look at him,

"It may all seem like a fantasy now. But I'm serious. We are going to get out of here. One say. I swear it" he said with more earnestly than she'd ever heard.

Rina just smiled sadly at him, "okay" as all she said.

"I want you to promise me something" Maxim said suddenly.

"You know I hate promises" Rina said, it was true. She only made promises if she knew she could keep them.

"Promise me that if either of us gets a chance to take. No looking back, no regret about leaving the other. None of that" he said harshly.

Rina recoiled slightly,

"Why would you say something like that? You're my oldest friend, I'd never leave you" she said genuinely.

It was Maxim's turn to smile sadly at her,

"Oldest friend or not, you deserve the chance to live. The chance to get away from this place. Just promise me" he said.

Rina sighed, she knew he wouldn't let this go,

"I'll only promise if I can come back for you after I come up with a plan" she argued

Maxim thought for a moment,

"Deal"

They laid there for a another hour or so in comfortable silence until an armed guard approached them indicating their few hours of peace were up.

They all walked in silence until they arrived at the boys room.

"Goodnight, Rina" he said softly as he turned the door handle. But he stopped and turned around,

"I was serious about what I said earlier. I swear it on everything" he said genuinely.

His words took her slightly by surprise but she couldn't help but smile,

"Even on the stars?" She asked playfully

"Even on the stars" Maxim confirmed with nod.

"Time to go" the guard said roughly grabbing Rina's arm.

Defiantly Ekaterina turned, and called over her shoulder,

"The stars belong to you, my friend"

~~~

Ekaterina hadn't realized she been crying until the memory subsided.

When she looked up, Tony wasn't alone anymore. The red haired woman she just remembered the name of, Natasha was standing next to him.

Rina heard the woman's voice flood the room from the hidden speakers,

"Hey kid. Want to go on a walk?" She asked gently.

A walk was not as peaceful as it sounded. This walk entailed handcuffs and an armed tact team ten feet behind the pair.

The girl was not stupid, she knew the man, Tony had called for the woman.

"I guess Tony told you what I saw" the girl wondered aloud.

The woman looked down at the girl and hummed softly,

"He did, but I was coming to offer a walk anyways I know how stuffy a room like that can be and I thought you might like to see the gardens" she offered.

The girl nodded at her words,

"Thank you for that" Rina said softly.

They continued their stroll in silence before Rina had enough,

"Aren't you going to interrogate me? Send me to jail for what I did to that girl?" She asked.

Her guilt felt as if it might swallow her whole, it was all consuming.

Natasha shook her head,

"No, Rina I'm not here to do any of this things"

Rina recoiled,

"Why not? I-I killed her, with my own hands. She was wounded and I-I did it anyways" she said, her voice breaking.

The woman took a breath and moved them to sit on a nearby bench,

"Hey, you did what it took to survive. It could have been you" she said

"Maybe it should have been" Rina said softly,

"I never wanted any of that. The violence and the bloodshed, that's not who I am. At least I don't think it is" the girl continued.

Natasha knew the girl was going through a rough time trying to remember, so the woman just let her talk.

"I-I remember telling myself that it was necessary. That it was the only way I could survive, to grow stronger that the ones who had hurt me. I let that power in, I allowed them to fill my veins with the serum. I could have fought harder, but I didn't. I accepted it" Rina thought allowed she appreciated the woman's comfortable silence.

"There was one person who made it seem alright" the girl continued.

It took all of Natasha's will not to flinch, she knew who the girl was talking about. The sarcastic, bright eyed boy who died too soon.

Natasha smiled softly,

"I'm glad you had someone who made that experience a little better for you" the woman said honestly.

Ekaterina nodded,

"I can't stop thinking about him. Maxim, we went through the training together. We liked to joke that we were the greatest team the world had ever seen" she said with the first real smile Natasha had seen the girl give.

The girl's smile faltered slightly,

"But I can't remember him after I left Russia. That's where my memory goes blank" she said honestly.

She was silent for a moment before turning towards Natasha,

"Do you know what happened to him? You must have kept tabs on the base after rescuing me. Is he still with his father? I hope he got out" Rina said, her thoughts spilling out.

Natasha's heart pulled, this was the first time Rina was speaking to her like she used to. She didn't want to ruin it.

Rina's smile disappeared completely.

Somehow she understood the woman's silence.

"No, no" the girl said softly, unable to believe the conclusion her mind came to.

"He's alright, right?" She pushed.

Natasha shook her head,

"He got out, Rina. We found him and took him back here. He spent every minute trying to help us find you" Natasha began to explain.

Rina was silent as the woman spoke.

"For months and months there was nothing. It was like you had disappeared without a trace and then one day we got a lead. I tried to convince Maxim to stay behind but he wouldn't listen. So I let him come"

The woman paused for a moment as she relieved it all.

"And we found you. But you, you weren't yourself-" she broke off

Rina understood

"I killed him, didn't I" she asked but it wasn't a question, she already knew the answer.

All Natasha could do was nod.

Ekaterina bit her lip as tears sprung to her eyes, she thought she could hold it together. She was no stranger to grief and loss but this was different. This time it was someone she'd known and loved.

And it broke her.

A strangled, gasping cry escaped the girl's lips as she folded over, thankful they were sitting. Her sobs were loud and broken, she gasped for air between her tears. She was beginning to remember.

~~~

He tried to reason with her again, "Ekaterina, it's me. You've know me your whole life" he tried again. She shook her head, "I don't know you. But you have interfered with my mission" she raised her gun, "I'm sorry" she said quietly and closed her eyes. Maxim took advantage of this, rushing at her and kicking the gun from her hand. They fought in a series of punches and kicks. Maxim stumbled back, blood streaming from his nose, cheek and forehead, his hand immediately went to his waistband, he knew what he had to do but the holster was empty and when he turned around the girl was pointing his gun right at him. Maxim didn't have time to react before he heard the shot.

~~~

"No, no, no" the girl shouted into her hands.

The team that had been standing nearby began to take a few steps forward but Natasha held up her hand, motioning for them to stand down that she had the situation under control.

Very gently the woman laid a hand on the girls back and to her surprise upon the contact, the girl shot forward and to lean against the woman in an attempt at a hug which was difficult due to the handcuffs.

"Oh" Natasha murmured in surprise when she understood what the girl was doing and immediately wrapped her arms tightly around the girl's small frame.

"My friend, my friend, he's gone. And it's all my fault" she sobbed onto Nat's shoulder.

"Shh, I know, I know" the woman said as she stroked the girls wild hair. Natasha wouldn't tell her everything would be alright because she didn't know and she would never lie to her.

Rina had never felt this kind of loss before and she knew it would take a while for her to feel like her old self again, if she ever could.

Rina pulled away from the hug and attempted to wipe away her tears,

"I'd like to go to my cell, if that's alright" she said meekly.

Nat nodded, "of course"

~~~

It had been a few hours since Rina had been returned to her cell. It was empty besides for a bed and a chair, nothing she could harm herself or other with.

And that was probably a good thing because once she returned she sank into the corner and cried some more, she cried until there was nothing left and she was exhausted.

She fell asleep in that corner and for the first time in months...

She dreamed.

~~~

"But Mr. Stark, I don't get why I can't see her. You said she's doing better, I-I just thought-" Peter trailed off when he saw the look Tony was giving him.

"Kid, as much as I would like you to see her. I can't, she's still too unstable" the man answered tiredly. This was the third time this day Peter had asked him this question.

"But!"

"No! No buts! If you ask one more time, I'm taking the suit back" he said, they both knew it was an empty threat but Tony was too tired to care.

Peter tilted his head as he looked at his mentor, unsure what to say.

"Mr. Stark" came Friday's voice.

"What is it, Fri?" The man asked

"Ms. Ivanovna is calling for you"

Tony sighed,

"What am I the bell boy for Russian assassins?" He muttered.

"You" he said pointing at Peter, "it's late, you go home- no arguing, I call if I need you" the man said before walking down to the basement.

"Tony! Tony! Mr. Stark!" Rina was calling as stood facing the camera that was watching her every move.

Tony shook his head as he pressed the button that allowed him to talk to her,

"Hey chica, there's no need to shout. What do you need?"

Rina took a deep breath,

"I have a request"

Surprise!!! A chapter and a long one at that!! Are y'all proud of me? A bit of a sadder chapter but I love a good sad chapter lol. Let me know your thought, comments and theories! Also, has anyone made any TikToks about this fanfic?? I've been seeing a bunch of videos about fanfics lately and was wondering. Sooo if anyone has made any or will make any you should tag me lol! Anyways, I've been thinking about extending this book a little longer, maybe five or so more chapters! I hope y'all have a great day and are staying safe, I know this is a difficult time! Just know I love and appreciate you!!

Xoxo,
Renee