~Astra~

By the time Albus and I had finished talking, Nico and Wren had disappeared. All Poppy would tell me when I asked where they went was that I "wouldn't want to know." While that was obviously highly distressing to hear (Wren hadn't seemed to be in a state to do anything last time I'd seen her), it didn't take very long to realize that I'd just have to wait for her to appear again. 

Albus had grown quiet, brow furrowed in worry that could only have one source. The healers were still rushing all over the place, prepping people to be transferred to the hospital or ensuring that the less injured were truly fine. Aurors had started making their way through the crowd, as well, stopping people to question them briefly. Though I saw some of Teddy's friends, Alexis and Elinor, I still hadn't seen Teddy, or any of my family members for that matter. It was taking everything in me not to go searching for them. If they were injured (or worse), I would've spotted them over here by now, so that meant they had to be okay, right?

We were sitting on the counter of one of the storefronts, watching the crowd settle down. It didn't seem like anyone had been allowed to leave beyond the wounded. My eyes scanned the crowd, back and forth, as Poppy kept up a low stream of chatter that seemed almost more for her benefit than anyone else's. She at least didn't seem to mind that I wasn't responding much.

This wasn't how I'd pictured things would be afterward. To be fair, I hadn't really pictured afterward at all. I'd been so focused on fighting Stillens... I'd certainly come to terms with the fact that I would likely die, or have a fate worse than death as some kind of mindless pawn of Stillens', constantly under the Imperius Curse. But I'd never thought about the alternative. Why was everything so tense and gloomy? Where was the celebration? The relief? Everyone still seemed scared and unsure, and if I was honest, those feelings were mirrored inside of me, too.

To one side, I saw a kid in their Hogwarts uniform sitting next to a stretcher with an older woman in it, dabbing the blood on the side of her face with an already-bloodied handkerchief. The kid was wiping his own tears away with his free hand, all alone. Was that his mother? Grandmother? Was she still breathing? I couldn't tell.

Across the hall, a young couple was going from person to person, clearly looking for someone. The woman was almost frantic, almost spooking people as she approached them, while her boyfriend seemed like he was in a daze, following her around with an overwhelmed look on his face.

Near them, I spotted a group of my friends from school, including Luke, Lacy, Rose, and Eric, huddled together. None of them were talking, except for Eric sobbing into Lacy's shoulder. Everyone else was blinking into the void, it seemed like. I wondered briefly if I should go over to them, but I couldn't even move.

And suddenly, I saw a flash of blue in the crowd, and absolutely none of that mattered. I was off running before I'd even fully registered it, but I would've recognized that shade of blue anywhere. "Teddy!"

He whipped around, and a relieved smile appeared on his face just in time for me to slam into him and almost knock him over with a hug. All I could do was hold him as tightly as possible, try to convince myself that he was actually standing in front of me, unhurt and okay.

"Oh, thank Merlin," came Victoire's voice as she hugged me from behind. A moment later, Teddy stepped back just enough for me to see Aunt Andromeda behind him. She pulled me into a hug, too. Suddenly, tears were blurring my eyes and choking me up.

"Do I even want to ask what you've been up to?" Teddy asked as I finally pulled back to look at all three of them again. His voice seemed like he was about to laugh, but he was wiping tears from his eyes.

I hesitated, then shook my head. "Probably not?"

"You're all right," Aunt Andromeda said firmly. "That's what matters."

Victoire rested her hand on my arm. "You are all right, aren't you?"

"A little banged up, but that's all." With my free hand, I wiped the tears out of my eyes. "And you all?"

"Got a nasty cut from a curse," Teddy said, holding up a bandaged arm. "Healers said it should be just fine with the ointment they put on it, though. And Gran's fine, and Toire's mostly fine—"

"Completely fine," she corrected, shaking her head. "They said they didn't even think I had a concussion."

"Where have you all been?" I asked quietly, the smile on my face not enough to get rid of the lump in my throat.

"Oh, in the back," Teddy said, casting a significant look at Toire. "The healers had some extra concerns about her..."

A pit opened in my stomach. "What? So you're not okay?"

"Merlin, Teddy." Toire frowned at him before turning back to me with a reassuring smile. "No, I'm totally fine. They just... Well, they told me that I'm pregnant."

My mouth dropped open. Toire was... and she'd still... what was wrong with her?

"They said everything seemed fine, Astra, no need to freak out," Teddy said quickly. "She's only six weeks along, so not even that far."

"Why would you come here if you were pregnant?" I yelled.

Toire laughed, seemingly in spite of herself. "Obviously, if I'd known—"

"You would've done exactly the same thing if you'd known!"

She thought about that for a moment, then shrugged. "I suppose that's fair."

"The baby is all right, and Victoire is all right, so it's nothing to be bothered about now," Aunt Andromeda said, running her hand down my arm soothingly.

"I have to say, that was certainly a wild way to find out," Teddy said, shaking his head. "They all just started rushing her to the back, running around and yelling at each other... took them five full minutes to tell us why they were so worried. They honestly didn't believe us at first when we told them we hadn't known!"

Toire shook her head, shoving him playfully. "I think there might be more important things right now?"

"Than the fact that we're having a baby?" He was grinning so widely that I couldn't help laughing a little. "I really don't think it's hit you yet..."

She rolled her eyes, then her expression grew more grim as she turned back to me. "Who was with you on the stage? We were so far back, it was hard to see, but..."

I swallowed as I remembered how much Colette's fate hung in the balance just then. "I... well, Wren, obviously. And Albus. And... and Colette..."

The hope that sparked in all of their eyes brought tears to mine. "Merlin's beard," Teddy whispered. "I mean... we thought it might be her, but we couldn't believe..."

"Where is she?" Aunt Andromeda demanded. "She looked like she could barely stay standing."

"She... she couldn't." I took a shaky breath, eyes drifting downwards. "She's the one who fell off the balcony."

Toire let out a strangled noise, and Teddy's hand clenched at his side. "But she survived, clearly."

"Barely. I... I still don't really know how. But... she's the one that saved us all."

"Where is she, dear?" Aunt Andromeda asked.

"She was transferred to St. Mungo's."

They all grew pale, which wasn't a great sign. Clearly, they already knew that showed how badly she was doing. "You were with her until then, though?" Toire asked, brow furrowed.

"No... I ran off to help James when the fighting started. Albus was the one who got her help." I motioned to where I'd left him and Poppy a few minutes ago. He was still staring into space, apparently unaware that I'd dashed off, even though Poppy gave us a small wave.

"Did he say... do they think she'll be all right?" Aunt Andromeda asked.

"They don't know." I bit my lip to stop it from trembling. I hadn't even gotten to tell her I was sorry yet. What if I never got a chance?

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it now but pray," my aunt said somberly.

"She's got a very strong will, you know," Teddy added. "If anyone could pull through this, it's her."

Victoire nodded with a sad smile, her eyes darting back to Albus and Poppy. "I'll be right back," she said, before making her way over to them and pulling Albus into a hug, finally startling him out of the haze he'd been stuck in.

Teddy put his hand on my shoulder before glancing back toward the stage. "Unfortunately, I think I have some auror duties to attend to. I'll probably have to meet you all at St. Mungo's later." He pursed his lips as he glanced over at Albus. "Think Albus might let me talk to him?"

"If Colette's stable when we get there, I think he'll talk to anyone," I said honestly, giving an encouraging pat to Teddy's arm. "Until then, though... good luck with that."

As Teddy dashed off, Aunt Andromeda steered me over to where Victoire and Albus were having a bit of a tearful reunion. I plopped myself back down on the counter as they pulled apart and Poppy met my family for the first time. Of course, this was followed by a worried near-scolding that we could all tell Toire didn't really mean as she interrogated Al about where he'd been the last month. I found my eyes drifting back out to the crowd as he told her the same things he'd told me earlier.

My head was swimming. Toire was pregnant? I could barely even process what that meant. Another tiny Charis running around... But how could I think about that when Colette could be dying in a hospital bed right at that moment? When I was surrounded by so much death and pain? The idea of a new life simply didn't fit with anything I was actually seeing around me.

I barely registered it when Poppy slid off the counter next to me and ran out to the crowd. I blinked slowly, realizing as I did that she was meeting Wren and Nico. Though Nico just waved in our direction before disappearing back into the crowd, Wren let Poppy steer her back to the storefront.

I scooted over to make room for her on the counter. Victoire was so caught up with Albus that she barely noticed Wren, and Aunt Andromeda had walked over to the nearest healer, probably to inquire about Colette. I smiled at her as Poppy widened her eyes expectantly. "Did it work?"

She managed a smile that seemed a little too tired, but I just frowned as I remembered what Poppy had told me earlier. "Did what work?"

"I convinced Zaria Hempsey to cooperate with having her memories restored," Wren said softly, not meeting my eyes.

I think my eyebrows might've left my face, they went up so high. "Are you out of your mind?"

"No. It worked."

"That's not what I mean." I put my hand on her arm, but she was still looking down. "Why would you do that?"

"She... she was begging me to kill her, earlier," Wren said softly. "She was that frightened of Azkaban. And I understood, because... well, that's essentially what Stillens has a smaller, more intense version of in his basement... and I couldn't just leave her to that..."

"Yes, you absolutely could have," I said, frowning. It was taking everything in me to keep my tone from getting too sharp. "She's a horrible person, Wren."

"She's been indoctrinated and brainwashed. She needs help, not dementors." Wren bit her lip. "It's too late to do anything about it, anyway, Astra."

Well... fair enough. If anyone would pull a stunt like this, it would be Wren. I hardly knew why I was surprised. I nodded slowly. "Well... all I'll say is you're better than she deserves."

Poppy had turned back to Albus and Victoire at this point, so I leaned down to be more in her line of sight. "How are you doing, Wren? Really"

She shook her head. "I don't want to talk about that."

"We don't have to talk about any of it," I said gently. "I was there. You don't have to explain anything. I just want to know if you're okay."

Finally, Wren looked up at me, tears glistening in her eyes. She hesitated for a moment before shaking her head slightly. "No. I'm... I'm not."

At least she could admit it now. I nodded slowly, for just a moment wondering what I should do. She didn't want to talk about it, but she couldn't just keep this all pent up. Eventually, I just held my arms out, and she seemed to collapse into them. I laid my face against the top of her head as she started to shake with quiet sobs. I think there were tears in my eyes, too, making her hair wet. All I could think was that everything was supposed to be better right now. Why didn't everything feel better?

~~~~

At some point, Haverna appeared, which made Wren start crying again as she threw her arms around the professor. She seemed so startled that she stumbled back, blinking at Wren in surprise for a moment before patting her back. I guess Wren wouldn't have seen her since DA headquarters had been compromised... had that really been just yesterday? It seemed like I'd lived a lifetime since then.

Apparently, Kimmel was under investigation for connections to Stillens, leaving Haverna in charge of all the Hogwarts students here. She'd enlisted some of the prefects to go around and let everyone know that they weren't expected back at school until at least Tuesday, unless they wanted to come back. Almost everyone had family here, though, or friends who had been hurt. I doubted there would be anyone at Hogwarts over the next few days, once parents could leave here and pick up their younger children.

Minutes after Haverna had left, Mrs. Potter, Nico, and Lily appeared, which pulled Albus out of his head and into the present again. It seemed that the DA would start letting civilians leave soon, and Mrs. Potter wanted to make sure Albus, Lily, and Wren were all going home. She invited Poppy, too, before Albus interrupted to say that as soon as they let him go to St. Mungo's, he wasn't going to leave Colette's side until she was totally better. I briefly wondered what he would do if she didn't get totally better, but the thought was too painful to entertain.

Mrs. Potter pursed her lips. "Albus... they're really limiting the amount of visitors to St. Mungo's right now, love. They're really trying to keep it to family."

The fierce look in his eyes was matched by his tone. "I can't abandon her again!"

"Oh, Al, no one thinks you're doing that," Victoire said soothingly. "You need to rest, too, though..."

"No!" He pulled away from all of us, shaking his head wildly. "You can't make me leave her. You can't!"

"It's all right, Albus," Aunt Andromeda said calmly. "You are more than welcome to join us, if your mother agrees."

Mrs. Potter pursed her lips, clearly torn between making Albus happy and making sure he was okay. After a moment, she sighed. "Fine. But you need to get some sleep while you're up there, all right?"

"Of course," he said, though I had a feeling we all knew he wouldn't be sleeping at all.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Poppy asked quietly. "I don't want to impose, but if you need me..."

Albus hesitated, then slowly shook his head. "It should be okay. You don't have to."

Lily looped her arm through Poppy's. "You can come with us. Elmer is, too. He's not sure he's ready to explain all of this to his family, though I guess your grandmother probably knows more..."

Poppy smiled graciously. "I'll visit her and Jack tomorrow. Thanks."

Wren seemed relieved at that, which I realized might have been part of Poppy's intention when she glanced over at my friend and smiled. I guessed James would probably be here forever, with all the Ministry and DA things going on. Hopefully he and Mrs. Potter would end up home eventually, but at least Wren wouldn't be alone until then (because if she was home alone with Lily and Elmer, well... something told me she'd be on her own most of that time).

It was still an hour or so before the aurors started allowing people to leave, starting with those of us who had family at St. Mungo's. Albus came with us, of course, as well as Nico, but no one said anything about that. Albus might've asked him to, honestly. Once we got there, we had to stay outside the room, taking turns peeking through the tiny window in the door to confirm what the healers had said: Colette had stabilized. As long as she woke up, she was supposed to make a mostly good recovery. It was that as long as she woke up part that I was worried about.

Albus had started pacing now, and I couldn't tell if that was better than sitting and staring at nothing. He barely seemed to notice that the rest of us were there. Honestly, the constant motion was kind of stressing me out.

The next few hours dragged out for an eternity. Every few minutes, someone would go peek through the window and confirm that no, she didn't look any different. Every once in a while, a healer bustled into the room, being careful to shut the door behind them before Albus could sneak in. Though it was a wide hallway, I still felt in the way as patients were carted past, followed by teary loved ones. Sometimes I recognized my friends from school, but none of us said anything. They would just nod somberly at me as they walked by, and I would do the same.

Eventually, Victoire announced that Teddy would be joining us soon. The civilians had all been sent home a while ago, of course, leaving just the DA, aurors, and Ministry workers at the execution hall, along with all the prisoners. Though it sounded like there was still a lot to do there, anyone with a close family member in the hospital had been allowed to leave, apparently.

Just then, Charlotte Longbottom appeared. Instead of rushing past us or sneaking into Colette's room, she stopped beside my chair and smiled at us. "We think she's stabilized enough for visitors. Albus, I suppose you'll be first?"

He was already at the door, staring through the window. A quick head nod was the only acknowledgement that he gave before Charlotte crossed over to the door and let him in, pointing out the chair sitting next to her bed and cautioning him not to touch her. She turned back around to us with a frown. "Is he doing all right?" she asked softly. "I can get a dreamless sleep potion for him if he needs it."

"He might later," I said, wincing. "But maybe he'll be better now?"

Charlotte shrugged. "Let any of the healers know if he does, and they'll get one. We can have three people in here at a time. Who's next?"

As much as I wanted to jump up and rush in after Albus, I waved for Toire and Aunt Andromeda to go instead. They hadn't seen her since... before school started? I didn't know. Besides, I had a feeling Nico would've felt far more awkward sitting out here alone with either one of them than with me.

It was awkward, anyway. This hospital hallway didn't look much different than the hallway we'd been meeting up in at headquarters, but the atmospheres couldn't have been further apart. I didn't really know how to interact with him out of that very specific situation, it seemed. And maybe I shouldn't have cared that it was awkward, but I found that I did. Maybe we could make conversation until then? We'd been able to do it at headquarters, after all.

"So... why didn't you go home?" I asked.

He blinked at me for a moment, seeming surprised that I was talking to him. It was only a second before he was shaking his head and shrugging. "Didn't want to."

The only reason I was at this hospital was that one of my best friends was in the room right across from me. I would've loved to go home, if Colette could've come to. What was wrong with Nico? "You don't plan to stay here all night, at least? I mean, not that you shouldn't, but... you don't have to...?"

He shrugged again, eyes turning down to the floor. "I'll probably head back to Hogwarts eventually, I guess."

"Hogwarts?" I made a face. "Why would you want to go back there?"

"I mean, it's not like I can go to the manor, can I? I'd assume it's a crime scene."

He was definitely avoiding my eyes, but I couldn't figure out why he was so uncomfortable all of the sudden. I obviously wasn't thinking of the manor as his home. I was thinking of... well, his parents? I mean... I guess I knew he'd been living at the manor last summer, but I'd assumed it was because... I don't know. That's what Stillens' agents did?

"You at least let your parents know you're okay, right?" I asked, cocking my head curiously. "I know you're not a muggleborn. They know what's going on, right?"

He shrugged again, though his jaw was set in a hard line. "Wouldn't know. Wouldn't care."

"What the hell, Nico? You do have parents, don't you?"

He glared at me. "Is it not clear enough that I'd rather not talk about this?"

I threw my hands up in the air. "I'm just trying to make conversation! Be nice? I'm sorry if I offended you, somehow."

Already, he was glaring at the ground instead of meeting my eyes. "Just shut up."

"Nico..." I sighed. "I'm trying to make sure you're okay, all right? I don't think there'll be anyone at Hogwarts to like... I don't know. Talk through things with?"

"I don't need to talk to anyone."

"Well then... just people who care about you, then. You shouldn't be alone after everything that happened today."

"Yeah, well, I will be."

My annoyance was slowly turning into confusion and concern, which was an odd thing to be feeling toward Nico Jasper. I frowned, trying to think how to keep pressing him about this without making him upset. "I... I'm sorry. I really wasn't trying to make you upset."

"You did."

"Yeah, I can tell." I pursed my lips. "I'm just... worried? Why don't you want to go home?"

"I don't have a home, Astra!" he exclaimed. "There, is that what you want to hear? I don't have a home, I haven't talked to my parents since I was eleven, and Hogwarts is the only place I have to go. Happy?"

My mouth dropped open, and for a moment, I just blinked at him. "Oh... I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Of course you didn't." He sighed heavily. "Just drop it, please."

Just then, Aunt Andromeda appeared in the doorway, and I made a too-quick decision. I hopped up and intercepted her before she made it out the door. "Could we do something, maybe?" I asked quietly.

Aunt Andromeda narrowed her eyes at me. "Do what, exactly?"

"Well... I know there's not a lot of space, but... well, Nico doesn't have anywhere to go tonight? He... I didn't know this, but I guess he doesn't have a relationship with his parents, so he'd just be going back to Hogwarts by himself... Could we...?"

Aunt Andromeda frowned. "I... I really don't know, Astra. I don't know this boy at all. It's—"

She was cut off by a squeal of excitement. I glanced up to see that Teddy had appeared at the end of the hallway, and to my surprise, he'd brought the girls. The squeal came from Cassie, who was already running down the hallway as fast as she could, yelling out, "Nico!" as she did.

He was prepared for her this time, crouching down to give her a proper hug by the time she reached him. "Hey, Cass. Let's try not to yell in the hospital, yeah?"

Her eyes grew wide. "Oh, I forgot. Are the sick people not going to be okay now?"

Nico blinked at her, seeming at a loss. "I... um... no, they should be fine...?"

"Yelling once might be all right," Teddy said, patting her back as he finally caught up. "Let's try to keep our voices down now, though."

She nodded very seriously before glancing around at us. I saw a tinge of fear in her eyes as she seemed to notice Victoire wasn't here. "Where's...?"

"Victoire's just in the room," Aunt Andromeda said, beckoning Cassie over so she could peek through the open door. "Everyone's all right."

"Aunt Colette?" Charis asked, wriggling until Teddy put her down so she could run over to the door, too. "She okay?"

"She will be," I said, hoping that was true. "She's safe now."

"She sleeping?"

"Exactly." Teddy sat down in a chair near the door and patted his lap. "You can see her soon, Char. Let's wait over here, out of the way."

Cassie climbed into the chair next to Nico and leaned against his arm. "No one said you'd be here!" she exclaimed quietly.

"You're... um... Teddy probably didn't know," he said, shrugging his free shoulder. "I'll go back to Hogwarts soon. Just wanted to make sure Albus was all right."

I cast a glance at Aunt Andromeda, who was watching Cassie closely as she wilted in disappointment. She seemed to make up her mind just then. "Actually, Nico, you'd be welcome to come stay with us. Right, Teddy?"

Teddy stammered out an agreement, though he seemed confused. Nico, though, was blinking at us uncomprehendingly. It took a moment for him to snap out of it and shake his head. "Oh, uh, thank you, but you really don't need—"

Aunt Andromeda crossed her arms. "I will not take no for an answer, young man. I've dealt with too many of you stubborn teens for that."

Teddy shrugged again. "Besides, I suppose any friend of Cassie's is a friend of ours."

Cassie was bouncing in her chair, holding Nico's arm and staring at him with a pleading look. "Please, Nico?"

Nico glanced at me as if I was going to argue him out of it, but I just put my hands up. "You can sleep on my cousins' couch, or you can go be all alone in the Slytherin common room. Up to you."

Thoroughly outnumbered, Nico finally nodded slowly. "I... um... thank you, I guess."

Victoire appeared in the doorway just then, and waved me towards the door. "Teddy, do you want to come see her, too?"

Teddy hesitated. "Is Albus in there?" When we all nodded, he pursed his lips as if he'd already guessed that. "I'll go in a little later, then. I think we need to talk alone. Astra, why don't you take Charis?"

Charis launched herself off Teddy's lap the moment he let go of her, nearly running past me before I could pick her up. A rampant toddler on the loose did not seem like it would be super helpful to Colette just then. I help my finger up to my lips to remind her to be quiet before we walked in.

She tried to wriggle out of my arms as soon as we walked in, and I adjusted my grip on her. That made her turn to me with a pout on her face, but I just shrugged. "We've got to be calm in here, okay? Aunt Colette is sleeping."

Albus was watching us with interest as we approached the bed. To my relief, he did seem a bit less anxious now that he could see Colette for himself, even if she was entirely unconscious and breathing a little shallowly. He even managed a small smile at Charis. "The girls are here?"

"Teddy brought them." I brought Charis close enough for her to pat his head, which made her giggle. "That squealing a minute ago was Cassie when she saw Nico."

Albus raised an eyebrow. "I didn't realize she liked him that much."

"It's probably because she hasn't seen him as much, but it honestly feels like she gets more excited about him than she does about me," I said, shrugging and trying to pretend that didn't feel at least a little weird.

Albus frowned at me for a moment. "He was there during a really traumatic part of her life, you know. It makes sense. Trust me, she absolutely adores you."

I let out a small laugh. "Oh, yeah, like you'd know."

"She was really angry with me when I wouldn't talk to you, actually. She was upset that I'd made you cry."

"Oh." I blinked in surprise, both at what he was saying and the fact that I felt touched by the idea that this little seven-year-old cared about my feelings that much. "Well... that's good, I guess."

"Aunt Colette?" Charis asked, reaching toward the bed so far that she almost tumbled out of my arms and I had to readjust her once more. "Sleeping?"

"Yes, which is why we have to be quiet," I whispered, twirling around until I was between her and Colette, forcing her to look at me. "We can't touch her right now, okay?"

"When she wakes up?"

"Um... I don't know...?" I glanced at Albus, but he just shrugged. "She's really hurt right now, is the thing. We have to give her time to get better."

"Oh." Charis strained to see over my shoulder, so I turned around and brought her closer to the bedside. Her little face scrunched up into a very serious expression as she studied Colette. My friend's face and arms were covered in bruises, and her head was bandaged up. At least they'd cleaned all the blood off her, but it'd honestly left her looking a little too pale for my liking. Again, the shallow breathing didn't seem like a great sign, but the healers had said they thought she'd be okay...

Turning my arms to look back at Albus, Charis asked in a loud whisper, "She's sick?"

"Um..." He hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. It's kind of like she's sick."

"She fell down from a really high place," I explained quietly. "It really hurt her."

Charis's eyes widened in understanding. "Like when I fall off my bed?"

"Something like that," I agreed, "but a lot higher than that."

"We wait till the hurt goes bye-bye?"

"Exactly." I bounced Charis a little in my arms, surprised at how tired they already were. I don't think she'd seemed this heavy last time I'd held her. "It might take a little longer than when you fall off the bed, but that's exactly what we're doing."

After a few minutes, I could tell Charis was getting tired of being held, so I took her back out to the hallway, giving Nico and Cassie a chance to go in. Charis snuggled up in Teddy's lap as he spoke to Victoire quietly.

I found myself sinking down into a chair by myself, my vision getting lost as my thoughts clouded my head. Everything still felt so heavy. Obviously, it was because of Colette, but... I don't know. It didn't seem like that was everything.

It was over. It was all over. This... this looming darkness that had been staring me down for so long, it was gone now, wasn't it? Stillens was powerless. The danger was gone. So why didn't I feel better?

"Astra." I started at Aunt Andromeda's gentle hand on my shoulder. "Are you all right, my dear?"

I glanced up at her, and only then did I realize that my vision was blurry, and my vision was blurry because my eyes were full of tears. I blinked a few times before whispering, "I don't know."

She nodded understandingly. "Why don't we take a walk?"

I jerkily stood up and let her steer me down the hall, past other families waiting for news, and out into a quiet waiting room. Though I probably should've noticed out the window in Colette's room, I was surprised to see that it was totally dark outside. The lights of the cars far below us were a nice distraction from everything else, and I found myself watching them instead of looking at my aunt.

"Astra, dear, how are you feeling?"

I pursed my lips, eyes not moving off the cars, though I wasn't really paying attention to them. "I... I don't know. Happy, I guess?"

"You don't seem happy."

I swallowed. "Yeah, but... that's how I'm supposed to be feeling, right? And I guess I'm worried about Colette, too..."

"I didn't ask how you were supposed to be feeling, dear." Aunt Andromeda's hand was on my arm again, and I found the cars below getting blurry. "There's no one way you should be feeling."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I imagine you must feel a little overwhelmed right now. Confused, even. Sad, and happy, and scared, and relieved. Is that close to it?"

I took a shaky breath before shrugging one shoulder. "I guess."

"That's completely normal, Astra. Today was... a lot, and it would have been for anybody who wasn't remotely connected to everything that happened with Stillens. You were very brave today, and you did very well, but it's okay to be feeling a lot of different things about it."

With my sleeve, I rubbed at my eyes. "Yeah, but... I just... I hoped..." I took a deep breath, trying to will my voice into steadiness. "This has all been my life for so long, for nearly as long as I've been here... in the wizarding world, I mean. And... I mean, I know I must be happy that it's gone... but I don't feel like that yet."

"You need time to heal, my dear. You been in this heightened state of fear for so long, and it'll take a while for your brain and your heart to realize that you're safe now and you can start to let that go."

"But why?" I swallowed a sob. "Why can't I just be better and normal? You and Teddy and Victoire aren't crying about it all."

Aunt Andromeda put her arms around me. "We all process it differently. And you've been through so much more than the rest of us, dear. It's over, now, at least."

"I know it's over," I whispered. "It just... it doesn't feel over."

Andromeda stroked my hair back. "It never truly does. We just have to take the next step, then the step after that, and eventually, things will feel better than they do right now."

~~~~

I'm so sorry, I realize I'm dragging out these chapters because I simply don't want to say goodbye. We're almost there, my friends.

Question of the Day: Looking back at old comments on these stories makes me feel old (as well as just about everything about my job teaching ten-year-olds), so I want to know what normal, everyday things make you feel old?

Answer: When my students say, "Wait, you know what Five Nights at Freddy's is?" and I have to explain that not only is that franchise nearly as old as them, I was in middle school when it came out and I do indeed know more about it than they do. 

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 5905