~Albus~

Everything was happening so quickly, but it felt an eternity between each breath. My eyes stayed locked on Colette, watching her chest rise and fall with far too long a gap between. She wasn't fully conscious, but it was clear that she was still feeling pain when she cried out because one of the healers tried to move her arm. I'd ended up in a seat, somehow, and I was gripping the arm of the chair so tightly that I heard it crack.

At some point, I realized the blonde healer was crouching in front of me, trying to get my attention. I blinked, and suddenly I could feel my heart in my throat. "What?"

"She's asking questions I don't have answers to," came Nico's voice, and I realized he was still here. I'd forgotten.

"Who tried to heal her before us?" the blonde witch asked seriously.

"Um... one of my classmates. She... she's..."

"A kid?" The other healer's mouth dropped open, though she didn't look up from whatever she was doing to Colette. "You're not serious."

The blonde witch raised an eyebrow at Nico, and I realized she didn't think I was a reliable source of information. Even Nico seemed concerned when he leaned down to catch my eye. "Who do you mean?"

"Adalyn."

He seemed surprised but pleased. "Oh. She's been the matron's aide at school for a year, at least."

The healers still seemed skeptical, but the blonde one shook her head. "We'll see if we can find her, then." Before I could say anything, she hurried out of the room.

"Charlotte'll be right back, don't worry," Inessa said, as if that was something I'd been worrying about. She motioned for Nico to come closer. "Hold her shoulders down for me. I'm going to try to heal her ribs, but I can't do that if she's trashing around. She'll just hurt herself more."

I lurched to my feet without thinking. "Can I help?"

Honestly, didn't appreciate the concerned expression on both of their faces. Inessa pressed her lips together before shrugging. "She's barely conscious, but the pain might wake her up a little. Do you think you could help calm her down if it does?"

Though I knew she was just trying to placate me, it was good enough. Nico stepped aside to let me past him so I could stand by her head. I couldn't reach her hand, so I just brushed some hair out of her face. The same prayer played over and over in my head: Don't let her die. Don't let her die.

And then she started screaming.

Inessa hadn't been joking about the thrashing. It was all I could do to not yell at them both to stop, that they were hurting her, but I bit my tongue instead. If I couldn't trust the healers, I'd lose all hope. That couldn't happen.

Instead, I leaned down, trying to hug her tightly without actually moving her at all. My eyes were squeezed closed, and I laid my head beside hers on the cot. All I could do was whisper, "It's going to be okay," again and again, hoping somehow she could hear me.

It all lasted forever and it was over in a moment. I lifted my head as she stilled, though she was still breathing raggedly. At least her screaming had turned to whimpers. I glanced up to see Inessa frowning seriously. "There's still internal bleeding, but Charlotte's going to have to take care of that."

"Who?"

"The other healer." Nico nudged me. "Maybe we should go wait somewhere else?"

"No!" I pulled away, glaring at him. "I'm not leaving her!"

He put his hands up, but it was in more of a calming gesture than a defensive one. Half of me wanted to snap at him for it, but Colette groaned and the fight drained out of me. When I blinked, there were tears in my eyes. "I can't, Nico."

"We can stay," he said, nodding slowly. "Maybe you should sit down, though."

I definitely did not want to do that, but Nico was already steering me back to the chair. I watched Inessa flutter around Colette for a few moments before I realized Nico was shaking my shoulder. "What?"

"Merlin, Albus..." He crouched down in front of me. "It's going to be okay. Breathe, all right?"

"I... I can't..."

Inessa glanced over at us, eyes wide. "Does he need help?"

"No, not like that," Nico said quickly, though he was frowning at me like he thought I did. Inessa turned her focus back to Colette, though, which was a lot better than being distracted by me. But Nico still seemed concerned. "They're taking care of her, okay? She's going to be all right."

I managed to nod. "I know... It's just... I don't..."

"You don't need to explain," he said seriously. "You can be upset. You just need to stay here, okay?"

"Stay here?" I asked weakly.

"You're panicking." He raised an eyebrow. "Think about how Wren can get? That's you, right now."

I blinked at him as understanding set in. I wasn't just panicking, then. I was on the verge of a panic attack. No, no, no, that was only going to make things worse. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down.

"Would it help if I went to find Poppy?"

I had no idea, so I just shrugged. He smiled grimly as he stood up again. "I'll be right back."

As the door swung closed behind him, Inessa looked over at me again. "Just keep talking, all right? It'll help you stay present."

"About what?"

"Well..." She hesitated, then shook her head. "You're Albus Potter, aren't you?"

My shoulders slumped. The last thing I wanted to talk about was my dad. Why else would she know who I was? "I... yeah. I am."

"I thought so." She smiled at me. "I've heard so much about you and Colette. Astra talked about you all the time."

I blinked at her. "You know Astra?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess you were a little overwhelmed when Charlotte and I introduced ourselves. We worked in the infirmary at the DA headquarters, and Astra was there for a long time, as well. She helped out sometimes. Well... I don't know how much of a help she was..."

In spite of myself, I laughed. "I can imagine." Quickly, the smile faded. "She... she talked about us?"

"How worried she was about you, yes." Inessa pursed her lips as Colette groaned, and I looked away before I could see what she was doing.

Worried. That seemed hard to believe. Maybe she meant before April... I already knew how upset Astra had been when I hadn't spoken to her, after all. Knowing her, she was likely super angry about it all by now. We hadn't gotten to speak that much earlier, and we'd all been so focused on everything else, and... Merlin, I needed to apologize...

The door swung open, but it wasn't Nico and Poppy. I tried not to sigh as Charlotte came back in, trailed by a nervous-looking Adalyn. "All right, I need you to talk me through exactly what you did," Charlotte said.

"I..." Adalyn glanced at me. "If I did something wrong, I swear I didn't mean to..."

"What?" Charlotte shook her head, seeming confused for a moment. "No, you did a good job, considering the circumstances. I don't think she would've survived this long without you."

"Oh..." Adalyn stood there for a moment, blinking. "I... um... right." She shook her head, a small, surprised smile on her face. "Right. I did the best I could..."

As they started going into detail about healer things, I closed my eyes. Breathe. Why did I suddenly have to remind myself to do that? Merlin, panicking sucked.

"Albus?"

I turned around to see Poppy standing in the doorway, Nico behind her. The most I could manage was a small smile, and even as she walked over to me, Poppy's eyes drifted over to where Charlotte, Inessa, and Adalyn were hovering around Colette. "How's she doing?"

"Worse..."

"Oh, Al..." She sat down on the arm of my chair and put her arms around me. "I'm sure she'll be okay."

Just then, the door opened yet again. A wizard I didn't recognize stuck his head in and said, "Charlotte, the ambulances are here."

"Oh, thank goodness." Charlotte waved at Inessa. "Get her ready to go. I'll go let the others know."

I started up. "Wait, what? Where are you taking her?"

"St. Mungo's," Charlotte explained. "She'll be able to get the care she needs there."

"Oh." I blinked for a moment. I hadn't even thought of the fact that she'd need to go there. I hadn't even seen Mum yet, or Lily, and I had no idea what had happened to Astra or Wren or any of my other friends... I shook my head. "When are we leaving?"

Charlotte hesitated, cringing. "Well... there are limited spots on the ambulances, and so many people are injured... We're not allowing any visitors yet."

"What?" I shook my head, eyes wide. "I can't leave her!"

"She'll be in the best hands she can be in." Charlotte pursed her lips. "This is what's best for her."

"No!" I started forward, but someone held me back. "You can't take her away!"

"Al, stop—"

I struggled against Nico's hold on me, but he didn't let go. "Shut up, Nico!"

"Stop yelling!" Charlotte marched up to me, a glare on her face. "I understand, all right? You feel responsible for her. But I can guarantee you that screaming about it isn't going to help matters. If anything, it'll make her more agitated."

"But..." I shook my head. The lump in my throat was making it difficult to get anything out. "What if... what if something happens?"

She put a hand on my shoulder. "I promise, you'll know immediately. It'll only be a few hours before they start letting others apparate in, I'm sure."

"Can you promise she'll be okay?"

Charlotte hesitated for a moment before slowly shaking her head. "I can't promise that, no. But this is the best chance she has of being okay. I really think she'll make it."

I slumped at that, and Nico finally let go of me. There's nothing I can do.

"Al?" Poppy asked slowly. "Are you all right...?"

"I... yeah... I just..."

"Albus." She stepped in front of me, a concerned frown on her face. "They're doing everything they can. You know that."

"Right." I closed my eyes tightly and nodded.

"And you'll know if anything happens."

"Right..."

"It's okay, Al. Let her go, just for a little while."

I glanced between her, Nico, and Charlotte, before I managed to nod. "Okay."

I stayed right by her side until they lifted her cot up into the ambulance. Even after that, Poppy, Nico, and I stood by the door and watched until it drove away.

"She'll be all right, Al," Poppy said quietly as we slowly started back inside. "She's too stubborn to give up."

I closed my eyes tightly. Of course, I was the only one who'd heard Colette telling me it was too late, that she was going to die and I needed to let her go. But she couldn't. I'd done everything. She had to live.

We'd just walked back out into the public section of this makeshift infirmary. I glanced around, almost in a daze. There were so many more people here now. So much blood, and groaning, and crying...

"It's Albus!"

It took a second to figure out where that had come from, and by the time I'd spotted Lily she was only a few meters away. She had blood on her face, but I suppose it was a good sign that she could still run. I braced myself as she threw her arms around me, her hair getting in my face as she did. For a moment, I just stood there. Could I hug her back? Was that wrong? And then I remembered how Wren and Poppy had reacted when I'd done the same thing to him. I hugged Lily back.

"You're... you're really okay..." Lily pulled back, tears in her eyes and a smile in her face.

"I'm okay." I smiled too, even though the lump was back in my throat. "Merlin, Lils, I've missed you so much."

"Me too..." Lily hugged me again. "Mum's okay, too, and Astra said James was all right. We can finally all be together again."

I was glad she couldn't see my face just then. I was so glad to hear that Mum was okay, and I guess it was good that James was, too, but... it was too much. He'd literally ruined our relationship when he didn't have to. Honestly, it might've been easier to forgive him if he'd been telling the truth.

But there was no need to talk to Lily about that, not right now.

"Were you with Wren?" Nico asked.

"Oh, yes." Lily pulled back again, her smile a little sadder now. "She's over there with Ciara and Astra."

"Are they all right?" Poppy said, pursing her lips.

"Physically, yeah. I didn't really get to talk to Astra much, but Wren... I don't know if she's doing so well."

"Like... still in shock?" I glanced over to where Lily had pointed and saw Wren sitting on the cot next to Ciara. She at least seemed aware of her surroundings.

"Kind of..." Lily shook her head. "She said she didn't want to talk about, so don't bring it up, but when I found her and Mum, Katreena Predatel was knocked out next to them... Wren seemed really shaken, too. She said her mum had disowned her."

"Oh, poor thing," Poppy whispered.

Lily grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards them. "Come on! Everyone's been so worried about you..."

"Actually..." Poppy hesitated before shaking her head. "Albus, do you think we could talk for a minute? I know it's not really the best time, but..."

I opened my mouth, then closed it. Nodded. "I... yeah. That's a good idea..."

Lily frowned at me like she was confused, but Nico nodded at us both. "They'll catch up, okay?"

I watched them walk back towards the others for a moment, then turned to Poppy. "I guess we should find somewhere to sit?"

"Some privacy, at least." Poppy slipped her hand into mine, giving me a half-hearted smile. "Then... maybe you can explain everything?"

Once again, I nodded. We slowly made our way through the rows of cots, dodging healers and concerned family members along the way. I ended up pointing out the same stairwell she'd initially found me in. It was deserted now. We sat down on the third stair, and for a moment, we said nothing.

"I'm really sorry," I whispered. "I should've told you."

Poppy shook her head. "Tell me what happened."

"Right." I closed my eyes, wondering where to begin. Did I lead with Teddy breaking me out against my will? Fleeing to Hogsmeade after Colette truly disappeared? Becoming a werewolf? Talking to Russey before any of this nightmare had even started?

Well... probably the beginning, I guess. I took a deep breath, and for the first time, my mind drifted back to the night this all started. The last time I'd seen Poppy. The words she'd said, it's going to be all right, that had played over and over in my head throughout all of this. And I started there.

I told her everything. Even the parts that were so hard to think about that I had to stop and let myself cry for a moment before continuing. The first night there. The day we realized Scorpius was gone. The solitary confinement, and the lightning whip, and watching Colette slowly break down. Justina Bosko. The first full moon. The day Teddy dragged me out against my will. The way I simply stopped talking. Colette disappearing. Me running away. My fear that Poppy would find out I was a werewolf and be afraid of me.

"Oh, Al..." Poppy leaned her head against my shoulder. "I... I'm so sorry..."

"It's fine. Over now, at least." I pursed my lips before turning to look at her. "I really messed up. I should've trusted you, and I didn't, and I know that hurt. I'm really sorry. And... and I hope you can forgive me, someday."

Poppy studied my face for a moment, and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. Slowly, her expression melted into a sad smile. "I already have."

My eyes filled with tears against my will. "Thank you."

She nodded a little, but her smile faded. "There's... one other thing. And... and I feel silly even bringing it up, because I don't want to sound controlling, or... or jealous, or something like that."

I tilted my head. "I can't imagine you being any of those things."

That didn't draw a smile, and my heart dropped. What on earth could this be about? Had I done something else horribly wrong? I didn't even know.

Poppy's gaze drifted down to her hands in her lap. "It... I know it's ridiculous, okay? Just... well... a few months ago, at Hogsmeade, Fred and your brother were there, and Fred made some stupid joke about how you'd only asked me out to get over Astra, but then... James started to explain it away like it wasn't a joke, and it... well... I kind of figured it out from there."

Oh. I looked away, even though she wasn't meeting my eyes. How could I have let myself forget that? Astra had made such a big deal of it when I'd let that slip, and I'd meant to talk to Poppy about it, but then my dad died and Astra ran away and I just... couldn't. And then it felt like it'd been too long...

"Wren talked to me afterwards," Poppy continued softly. "She told me Astra had found out, and you'd probably meant to tell me, and then things got too crazy... And she told me that you did really like me now. And... and I believe her, I promise. It's just... well... it hurt, you know? Hearing that the boy you'd had a crush on for nearly a year only asked you out to get over someone else."

"You'd liked me for that long?" I turned to stare at her, but the disappointed look when she met my eyes snapped me out of it. "That's not the point. Sorry. And I'm so, so sorry about all of that. I know I should've talked to you myself. I'm sorry you had to find out through my stupid brother." With a sigh, I looked down. "It was wrong for me to play with your feelings like that, even if it worked out in the end."

"Yeah," she said softly. "Pretty sucky of you."

"But I need you to know something, Poppy." I reached out to take her hand, and to my relief she didn't pull away. "Yes, I had a crush on Astra for a ridiculous amount of time. I thought I was in love with her, even. But I didn't even know what that meant at the time. Want to know how I know now?"

She nodded, the hurt still clear in her expression. I squeezed her hand. The tears in my eyes that had been threatening to fall finally made good on that threat as I tried to smile at her. "I love you. I'm in love with you. And it's so different." I hesitated, then closed my eyes. "Do you know what I dreamed about the most in the detention centers?"

"No," she whispered.

"You." I opened my eyes to see tears gathering in hers. "Those were the most devastating to wake up from, too, because they reminded me how badly I wanted to be back with you. I wanted to be home, Poppy. And my home is you."

With a sniffle and an attempt at a smile, Poppy reached up to wipe at the tears on her cheeks. "Really?"

"Really." I leaned forward so that our foreheads were nearly touching. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you this much. Can you forgive me?"

She stared into my eyes for a moment, then nodded. "I love, you, Albus," she said as she put her arms around my neck and pulled me in for a hug. "Don't ever leave me again, okay?"

"I can't imagine one more second without you in it." I pulled back a little, smiling through my own tears. Poppy ran her hand through my hair, her eyes darting down to my lips. I leaned forward, and our lips touched...

And unlike all those dreams in the detention center, I didn't wake up.

~~~~

Hey guys, sorry it's been so long. I've had a lot going on, and I've been struggling with some health issues (most relevantly: fatigue). But also, I wrote almost this entire chapter several weeks ago, saved it, and came back to find all but the first few paragraphs gone. I've spent hours trying to figure out if I can recover it, but I can't. That was super discouraging and made it difficult to want to write when I was already so tired. 

Question of the Day: It's been eight years since I started writing this. That makes me feel insanely old. What were you doing eight years ago?

Answer: Being the weird fandom girl in high school who barely had any friends!

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 3470