~Astra~

When I woke up that morning, all the panic, fear, grief... it was all gone. In its place was a calm that seemed to be coming from somewhere deeper than I could have dredged up on my own. The calm of resolve. Of accepting my fate, walking into the darkness with open arms.

Though McGonagall's relatively small house was bursting at the seams, a hush had fallen over everyone this morning. Murmured thank yous were the only distinct sound as breakfast was passed around. People were huddled together to whisper to one another, but no one was even doing that much. Everyone seemed to be feeling the same weight today.

That suited my interests just fine. No one tried to talk to me, and no one tried to make me promise to stay here. I don't know if it was assumed I would, or if things had changed so much now that we'd suddenly become welcome, but it didn't really matter. No one spoke to me, so I didn't need to lie to anyone. I just ate my breakfast in silence, thinking about how heavy everything felt. The heaviness only seemed to be solidifying my determination to end this all.

Mrs. MacMillan had blueprints of the venue that she was passing around. I glanced over them briefly, just to find out where I needed to go. Almost everyone was going to spread out through the ground floor and the two levels of seating above, which meant it probably wouldn't be hard for me to slip away. The third floor was apparently off limits to the aurors, which meant it was probably where some of the more well-known criminals were going to be until the fighting got bad.

If he was at the execution at all, Stillens would probably be there. At the very least, Isaac or Katreena would be around. I'd head straight up there, turn myself in to whichever one of them I found first, demand an audience with Stillens. From there, well... I didn't really know what to expect. It wouldn't be fun, obviously, but sacrifices weren't supposed to be. I'd face whatever came next as bravely as I could. I might be turning myself in, but Stillens would never see me broken.

A little after ten, people started leaving in groups of two or three. I'd expected we'd have to distract McGonagall somehow to sneak out, but she was actually one of the first people to leave. That would certainly make our plans easier. Artemis was going to take me by side-along apparation this time, since Marcus's try yesterday had been so disastrous and Scorpius had never tried with anyone bigger than Elcie.

"Whatever happens, we need to stick together," Artemis told us seriously. We were huddled in a corner of the living room, watching another group prepare to leave.

"It might make more sense to split up, actually," Marcus said. "Cover more ground?"

"Absolutely not." Artemis rolled her eyes. "It's common sense. We stand a much better chance together than we do alone. Right, Astra?"

I blinked. I hadn't been expecting to be brought into the conversation, considering I'd been staring off into the distance for the past twenty minutes. "I... um, yeah. That's true."

"How would she know?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Artemis glaring at Marcus. I couldn't bring myself to look over, or even answer, so after a few seconds she said, "Astra's been in a battle before, you know."

"Two," I said faintly. I always forgot people weren't supposed to know that, but it didn't really matter anymore, did it? I'd been at the Ministry attack. I'd been at the manor raid. No reason to keep pretending I hadn't—that had only ever been to protect us, anyway, and how had that turned out?

"Oh," Marcus was saying. I imagined he was frowning apologetically at me, from his tone, but I didn't turn to see. "I... sorry, I didn't know."

I shook my head a little, the most I could manage, and they fell back into talking about their plans. It seemed like Artemis might notice pretty quickly when I disappeared, but it'd probably be too late for her to do anything about it by then. As long as I got out of sight, they wouldn't be able to waste much time looking for me.

By ten forty-five, everyone had gone, leaving the four of us to don our cloaks and head out to the garden. This time, apparating was as smooth as if I'd done it with Mrs. Potter, which seemed almost absurd for some reason. Artemis was really the best at everything. Hopefully that wouldn't equate to an ability to track me down today.

I don't think I'd ever seen this many people in one place. The giant warehouse this was all happening in was packed, the crowds nearly overflowing out the doors. There were Ministry workers in green vests directing people up the stairs all around the perimeter, and when I looked up I saw two levels of balconies above us, nearly as full as downstairs. There had to be thousands of people here.

Slipping away was going to easier than I'd hoped.

We'd stopped at the edge of the crowd, my friends scanning the crowds. "Where should we go?" Marcus asked quietly.

"I'd stay downstairs," Scorpius whispered. "The fighting will probably be most concentrated here."

"We've got to stay away from anyone who's with the Prophet," Artemis added. "Can't have you being recognized."

"I think that'll be a problem wherever we go," Scorpius said with a chuckle. He gestured to me. "We've got the wizarding world's most wanted right here."

"It'll be fine," I said automatically, suddenly desperate for them to be worrying about anything other than me.

Marcus nodded slowly. "I doubt anyone will try to arrest us right now. It'll take away from the show. And then it'll be chaos, and it won't matter, right?"

The others murmured agreement, and Scorpius shrugged and said it probably didn't matter where they went, then, as long as it was further into the crowd. Artemis cast a glance over her shoulder at me as the boys plunged into the crowd, and I made to follow her. As soon as her back was turned, though, I took off towards the nearest flight of stairs.

No one spared me a second glance at the staircase. I made it up one flight only to find that it didn't continue up there, which was annoying. The next set of stairs was about twenty meters down the way from where I'd come out. I frowned at it for a moment before I turned and started towards the edge of the balcony. All of a sudden, my resolve had faltered for a moment. I needed to be fully onboard with this before I started, of course. I needed a minute to think.

From the balcony, I could look down on the crowd below. It was a weird set up, to be honest. Obviously set up for maximum theatrics. The stage was nearly in the center of the room, and on it was literally a guillotine. I pushed down a bit of nausea. It made sense why this was age-restricted, at least, not that anyone at the doors had been checking.

There was a curtain at the back, connected to the stage by a thin catwalk. All around that and the stage itself were aurors, wands out already even though there wasn't any sign of trouble yet. A show of Russey's power, I guess. I focused on the roped off area behind the stage itself, where it looked like Ministry workers were gathered. There were little sets of stands closer to the stage, though most people were milling about still. I squinted, trying to find James and Wren. And there they were, right at the rope. I think Ciara was the one talking to them over it, though there were a few other students with her, it looked like. In fact, I saw a lot of Hogwarts uniforms in the crowd. That made my stomach turn (how many of my friends were out there? How many were going to get hurt?) but I couldn't do anything about it now.

Without really thinking about it, my eyes kept scanning the crowd. Seeing Wren, even from such a great distance, had put a twinge of doubt into my mind. She would be devastated when she heard. I wished I could see her one last time, put her mind at ease, but I'd never be able to make it through that crowd before the execution started. I'd just have to say a little prayer from here that she'd be okay.

Artemis, Marcus, and Scorpius were in the crowd now. They were looking around, pushing past people, obviously in search of me. I backed into the shadows of a column in case they looked up. Hopefully, they'd be able to hold their own.

My eyes sought out Teddy, Toire, and Aunt Andromeda without meaning to. They were almost directly across from me, on this floor, gathered at the balcony. A lump appeared in my throat. I'd known they would be here, but seeing them made it worse. I closed my eyes tightly, trying to banish the picture from my mind, but it stayed. And with it came a host of others. Fighting. Blood. Death. I rubbed at my eyes with the palms of my hands but it didn't help. Something was going to happen, I was going to lose one or all of them, I couldn't take that. Couldn't let it happen.

Maybe seeing them was a good thing. I was doing this for them, after all. To protect them. To make sure they didn't have to sacrifice themselves for me. I'd wanted my resolve hardened, and now I had it. I would do anything it took to make sure they got home to Charis and Cassie.

I glanced over my shoulder at the staircase to the second floor. Once I was up there, I didn't know how hard it would be to keep going higher, but it didn't matter. I'd make it happen. No one else was going to die for me, not if I had anything to say about it.

~~~~

Expect sporadic chapter lengths from this point on. Hard to keep up with three kids during the climax, you know, especially when they're all over the place.

You guys come up with the absolute wildest ideas of how horrible I can make this. It's a good thing everything's already planned out or you'd be giving me ideas lol

Question of the Day: If you could change one thing about Astra's personality, what would it be? Why?

Answer: As we're nearing the end of this book, I'm starting to take my rewrite more seriously, and some of that means rethinking characters, plots, arcs, all that stuff. None of the Gryffingang will change so much that they're unrecognizable, don't worry. I just know that sometimes I lean a little too hard into Astra's abrasiveness, so that's something I'll be paying attention to once she and I start all over again in the new year. I also see traces of my own ADHD in her impulsiveness and I'd like to explore that more, since I wasn't diagnosed until last year so writing her that way was never intentional. ADHD in girls presents so differently than the stereotypical hyperactive little boy, and I don't think I've ever read anything that tried to portray it. I want little girls with ADHD to have someone they can identify with in that part of who they are, since I never did.

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 1734