~Wren~

"You could have told me."

I could feel Nico's eyes on me as we made our way back to Hogwarts, through the woods. He was acting as if this had been some elaborate scheme to thwart Mrs. Potter or something. I hadn't thought to tell him because it hadn't come up, not because I was trying to hide anything. After I'd told Ciara and Poppy about it, they'd avoided the topic of Hogsmeade entirely, I think just to keep me from feeling left out.

"Wren?"

His voice startled me enough to almost lose my footing. I steadied myself on a tree before finally looking up at him. "I'm sorry. It's really not that important with everything else going on..."

"I think it's actually one of the most important things, right now, when we're sneaking through the woods you aren't supposed to even be in."

"Sorry..." For the first time since we'd left Albus, I noticed Nico's wand gripped in his hand. "Have you had that out the whole time? That might not be the best idea when it's dark and the ground isn't flat..."

"Mrs. Potter has good reason to be worried, actually. I'm only being prepared."

"Nico..." I sighed and glanced around the woods, as quiet and still as they'd been all night. "It's no more dangerous right now than it was on our way to Hogsmeade."

"You're right. I should've been prepared then, too."

"I can defend myself, you know."

He hesitated. In the dark, I couldn't see the expression on his face well enough to know what was going through his head. Maybe he was about to tell me I was being stupid and reckless and he was disappointed in me. Or maybe he was about to flip out again. I hadn't had enough time to really process what Albus had done half an hour ago (how had he known exactly what I was feeling?). Nico yelling would probably end in me crying.

"I know you can defend yourself," Nico said finally, breaking me out of my thoughts. "I don't... please don't take this the wrong way. It's not that I don't think you're capable or anything. I know you don't need any help. It's just... like..." He sighed. "I don't know. I want to make sure nothing even has a chance to hurt you. I don't know why. And... well, I'm sorry if that's creepy or something."

I was fiddling with my sleeve again, so I stuck my hands into my coat pockets. "It's not creepy."

"Right." Nico hesitated again before shaking his head. "I want to say it's because you've risked so much to help me, and I want to repay the favor, but... I think I wanted to protect you before, too. And it's the same as it is with Cassie, for Merlin's sake. Like... like I'm seeing you as a little sister or something? I'm sorry. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I'm not trying to treat you like a little kid. I'll back off, if you'd like."

I shook my head quickly. "No, it's okay. I mean, you are older than me. Technically,  you could be my older brother." I was pretty sure he rolled his eyes at that, which was fine; that obviously hadn't been the important part of what he was saying. It wasn't like Nico was the first person in my life who'd told me they wanted to protect me. There was James, obviously. And Colette, and Astra, and Albus. It seemed normal enough there, since we'd been friends for so long. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were my guardians, so it was only natural coming from them. Nico's explanation made sense, too, of feeling like he needed to pay me back, somehow, as if I'd done anything that warranted that.

But why would he have cared before?

"Is that why you came back?" I asked quietly. "That night with... with Caldwell? You said you'd just wanted to get him in trouble."

"Yeah, cause I wasn't about to admit that I'd made a mistake to you right then."

"What?"

"Leaving in the first place. I shouldn't have done it, and I knew it immediately. I didn't know what he was planning but I knew that look on your face because I'd felt the same thing. And I still left you to face that." He shrugged. "Maybe it's just the shared trauma."

"Maybe." I looked down, glad it would look like I was just watching where I was stepping instead of avoiding eye contact. "I appreciate it, though. Cassie would, too, if she was old enough to understand it."

"Really?"

"Well, maybe I don't appreciate it as much when you're berating me about things I've already apologized for when we're literally on our way back to Hogwarts right now..."

"Right." He shook his head. "Sorry. This is not happening again, though."

"I know." I sighed. "I'll get another lecture from Ciara when we get back."

"Ciara?" Nico turned to stare at me. "You told her?"

"Don't tell Albus." I hesitated, but it wasn't like the truth wasn't understandable. "I... she wasn't believing any of my excuses the first time I snuck out to see him. I made her promise not to tell Poppy, though."

He huffed, and it took me a moment to realize it was directed at Albus, not me. "I can't believe he's not telling her. Does he get how stupid he's being?"

I put my hand on his arm; we were nearing the gates and I didn't want to aurors overhearing. "You can't protect Poppy from this. You get that, right?"

After a sigh, he nodded. "I'm not planning on telling her. I'm just planning on reminding Potter how stupid he's—"

"He's going to make his own choices, Nico. I don't agree with this one either, but you're not going to make it any better by making him angry, okay? He'll get to the point where he wants to tell her on his own. We can't make it come faster by arguing with him. Got it?"

For a moment, he frowned at me as if I was bluffing, but I just crossed my arms. He shook his head. "Fine. Sure. I'll leave it alone."

"Thank you." I peered through the trees. The gate was just visible from here, the lantern hung next to the guard's post casting an eerie light through the trees. "I'm promise I'll stay on the grounds until Mrs. Potter says otherwise, if that'll make you feel better."

"Thank you. Literally all I wanted to hear."

~~~~

Two days later, the Prophet and the Quibbler were both announcing the impending execution of Hestia Carrow, former Minister of Magic who, depending on which sources you were paying attention to, was either a heinous criminal mastermind or a very unfortunate scapegoat. Of course, the Prophet was heralding this as a bright new age for Britain's wizarding population, a symbol of how Russey was doing away with all the corruption in the old government and pressing on toward a brighter future. The Quibbler called it a travesty, a crime against humanity and a slap in the face to justice and order.

Rose and Iris spent the whole afternoon plying me with questions about what I thought of the two very different takes. Could I really support Russey after this? Ciara looked about ready to throw one of them through the window by the time Lacy suggested that maybe they were overwhelming me just a little bit.

Over the past several days, Lacy herself had spent a ridiculous amount of time overwhelming me with questions, but I couldn't really blame her. I was a spy for the DA didn't ever seem to be enough explanation to satisfy anyone.

When I'd dragged her to Haverna's office Monday morning and begged her to tell Lacy the secret, she'd stared at both of us for several seconds before rubbing her temples as if she had a headache. The expression on her face reminded me of Mrs. Potter's when James and Albus were fighting so much she had to send them outside. "Which one of you did something stupid?" she'd asked.

Lacy said, "Me," at the same time as I said, "Neither of us." Haverna just sighed deeply.

"What happened?"

"Wren woke up while I wasn't in the room last night," Lacy had explained, eyes on the floor. "And then there was the broadcast. he connected the dots."

"Hmm." Haverna raised an eyebrow at me. "You weren't trying to figure out who it was, were you?"

My eyes widened. "Definitely not."

"Good. There was a reason you didn't need to know, dear. And now you two have made this so much more complicated..."

"What's going on?" Lacy was back to herself, crossing her arms and frowning at Haverna. "Is the reason not she abandoned the DA?"

"No." Haverna turned back to me. "Are you sure you want to do this? You'll have to explain a lot more than what I can tell her."

I nodded before I could change my mind. "I want to."

"And I'm assuming you've talked to James about this?"

My hesitation was probably answer enough. I looked down. "He'll be fine."

"Will someone just tell me what's happening right now?"

Haverna frowned thoughtfully at me for a few more seconds before she glanced over at Lacy. "Do you know how the fidelius charm works?"

"Of course." Lacy's eyes had widened. "There's a fidelius charm?"

"I need you to understand that what I'm about to tell you would put Wren in incredible danger if it got out. The lines are blurry on this spell. I need you to promise me that you'll act like you know nothing if anyone who doesn't already know this is around."

Lacy had glanced at me with a mixture of apprehension and maybe a little respect. "Who already knows?"

"Here? Lily Potter, Ciara Malfoy, and Poppy Stevens. Anyone else, including your roommates, your father, whoever else you might have contact with from the DA—they're entirely off limits. Understood?"

"Got it."

Haverna had taken a moment to stare her down, but Lacy didn't waver. Finally our professor had sighed again and told her. Since then, nothing but questions. You knew about Russey this whole time? or What's it like to do occlumency? or The Ridley trial really was a sham, wasn't it? Most of the time I had an answer, and Ciara was able to take over the times when she asked something a little too close to home.

Of course, Ciara had been furious when I'd told her later that day. She yelled at me until she realized I was about to cry. After that, she'd taken a deep breath and apologized for yelling (when I probably should have been apologizing for crying), and then she groaned and put her head down on the desk in Haverna's empty classroom for nearly ten minutes. She'd been calmer afterwards, but I had a feeling she'd ranted to Poppy for hours that night while I'd been in astronomy. By the next morning, though, she'd seemed to accept that there wasn't anything she could do about it.

Why had I chosen to do that? That was the question I had a hard time answering. Ciara pointed out several times that it would've been perfectly reasonable for me to leave it at "I promise not to tell anyone." Obviously, I knew she was right. But... well, the look on Lacy's face when she thought I might turn her in... I didn't even want to give her the chance to worry about that again. If I had just kept my cover, no matter how many assurances I gave that I would never tell anyone, there would always be that thought in the back of her mind that I could. That maybe, if she messed up or made me angry, I might hold that over her head.

It was something like what Petrov had said when he'd cornered me in the library. He'd let me know enough about his group that I would have leverage against him if he tried to turn me in. Evening the field, he'd called it. It was probably the only thing he could've done to make me even give him a chance, let alone trust him. I wanted to give Lacy the same—a reason to trust me, beyond just being friends. Something that could convince her I wouldn't even think about turning her in.

Of course, I had a really hard time explaining that to Ciara, especially when she was so upset and I was so flustered. I don't think she really got what I was saying until the next morning, to be completely honest.

I had to tell Ciara, not just because I wanted help fielding Lacy's questions, but because I had to explain at least a little bit about the Friends. Luckily, Lacy was content with not prying about the Ministry when I emphasized how deep James's cover was, but she was really curious about what we were doing at Hogwarts. That was more Ciara's area, which meant I needed her to be on board for this.

Luckily, Lacy and Ciara had come to some kind of agreement. Since Ciara was actively keeping the Friends away from kids with connections to the DA, Lacy decided to return the favor. She claimed she knew and was friendly with almost everyone in the school, including everyone who'd even thought about the DA positively, so she was going to use that influence to convince her friends to leave students who might be acting a little weird alone. They all knew there was a difference between "a little weird" and "actively working for Stillens" like Rinduli and Cantha and Petrov. I was surprised she didn't mention Nico, but I supposed if Haverna didn't want to tell her that he was a spy, she likely wouldn't have even brought him up.

I have to admit, I was a little surprised at some of the things Ciara told her. I knew Brigitte had talked about bugging Kimmel's office during a prefect meeting, for example, but I didn't know she'd actually pulled it off. Lacy was adequately impressed by everything, which I think made Ciara a little friendlier about it all.

After Carrow's execution was announced, the mood of the whole school seemed to shift. Of course, there had been tension just under the surface since the war really started, but this was different. Even students who didn't have connections to anyone seemed to sense something worse was coming.

That evening, I learned that Brigitte had taken the idea of her "bug" and applied it to the communication problems we had sometimes with the Ministry branch. Unless we wanted to sneak out, we had to wait until a Hogsmeade visit to exchange news, which didn't work very well when those only happened every few weeks. It seemed that at one of the last Hogsmeade visits Brigitte had found two very old no-maj telephones, the kind where the microphone and receiver are two separate little cups. She'd messed around with it for a week before she'd connected them so that they worked with magic instead of electricity. She had snuck out to get one of them to Eris, but now we had a direct line of communication with her and everyone else at the Ministry that was just as, if not more, secure as the DA's mirrors.

Apparently, Ciara and Brigitte had spent the last two or three weeks figuring out details like where to keep it and what to do instead of having it ring. They'd finally settled on shrinking it to fit in their pockets and having it vibrate instead of ring. I chose not to tell them that they'd just reinvented cell phones in a far more complicated way; it wasn't like a real phone would've worked here.

Anyway, the three of us spent the evening camped out in the room of requirement talking to Eris and James about what was going on and what our plan should be. Unfortunately, what they'd seen at the Ministry sounded far scarier than what even the Quibbler had said.

According to Laramie Cowles, our resident auror-in-training, Mr. Macmillan had been fired for questioning the execution to Russey's face (which I'd heard from Lacy at dinner, but I didn't mention that). There was a new head of the auror department, but it wasn't another auror—Laramie suspected the woman had come from one of the detention centers, but no one knew for sure. The next day, they were going to start "preparing" for the execution, even the aurors-in-training. None of us could imagine what that meant, but it didn't spell anything good.

Orlo Alcades, the obliviator, had told them that his department was now being explicitly trained in obliviating wizards, not just no-majs. Considering they were already obliviating wizards who had been passed off as no-majs, he had no idea what this could mean, unless the Ministry was anticipating needing to obliviate a lot of its political enemies in a short amount of time. The floo inspectors were being supervised closely, according to Althea Weatherstone, and she'd had several of her recent inspections confiscated by her manager, who'd claimed they were "above her level." She couldn't understand it, because none of them even seemed that suspicious. They all just ended up somewhere in some rundown part of London, which was now something they'd all been investigating to see why that location might be so important.

There were reports of unsettling things from all over the Ministry, the majority of it preparing for... something. No one ever knew what they were preparing for, or why, but it was obvious that something was coming. Which... I mean, I think that was obvious to everyone, but having it confirmed from all corners of the Ministry was frightening, to say the least.

James was the only one who had specifics about any of it, and even that wasn't much. Russey had told him to "expect trouble" at the execution, because the DA might try to stop it from happening. He'd also spent a lot of time lately reminding James of where his loyalties lay, along with some vague promises of more power and a better position after "all this mess" was done with. That didn't give us much to work with, but I pointed out that if Russey was feeling the need to ensure James's loyalty, he was probably planning on making a move for himself at the execution, on top of the things that seemed to be approved by Stillens.

Unsurprisingly, James had had an incredibly hard time convincing Eris that Petrov and his concerned parties were worth their time, but she'd finally given in. They'd assigned Kassian Ivanova, one of the oldest members at the age of thirty-two, to be their contact person between them and Hanna Petrov, who was a caterer at the Ministry under a different name. I think they picked Kassian partly because he looked more credible than a bunch of kids in their late teens and early twenties, but also because he'd grown up in Sweden, so maybe he'd understand these concerned parties better than the rest of them.

This was the first Brigitte was hearing anything about this, because apparently Ciara and I had both expected the other one to tell her. She was very huffy about it for most of the rest of the call until I promised to take her to Petrov myself and let her form her own opinions. Honestly, Brigitte with her dedication to evidence-collection was probably exactly the kind of person Petrov wanted to see, since that was his group's whole deal.

Over the next few days, the date of the trial was announced: May nineteenth, which was only a little over a week away. That evening, Kimmel declared that, as this was a historical event, the kind of thing you only witnessed once in your life, she was allowing students over sixteen to attend. Younger students weren't allowed at all; they weren't going to let anyone under the age of sixteen in, because this execution wasn't an event for children. There were rumors they the Ministry was training a firing squad, or building a guillotine, which seemed both absolutely ridiculous and completely plausible at the same time.

The next day, Ciara called an emergency meeting of the Friends. I hadn't considered the issue of what we were supposed to do, considering Russey had sent me an invitation to the execution himself, which meant I had to go no matter what.

Lacy had told me earlier that the DA students were going and were planning a peaceful protest until things inevitably turned ugly. (Lily told me that she and her friends were making all the signs, while also forging Pip a fake ID because he didn't actually turn sixteen until June). Public protests weren't the kind of thing the Friends would be down for, of course, but Ciara still wanted us all to have a plan for whatever happened.

"Maybe we just don't go at all?" Reya suggested. "That's a more subtle form of protest, don't you think?"

"Sit back and do nothing you mean?" Trevor shook his head. "Absolutely not."

"What could we even do?" That was one of the fifth years, I think, a boy from Hufflepuff whose name I thought might be Owen. "We're not some army."

"No," Ciara said slowly, "but... I mean, I don't think he ever thought something like this would happen, but isn't fighting dark wizards what Mr. Potter taught us for so long?"

For a moment, all that could be heard was people shifting in their seats. Some glanced around the room, others stared at the floor. After several long seconds, Brigitte hopped up. "Listen, maybe most of us haven't ever really dueled anyone outside defense against the dark arts and little hallway fights. But I've seen several of you cast expelliarmus on instinct when you're startled. Those of you that play Quidditch, you're all really good at reacting instantly to whatever comes at you. You all held your own when the Triwizard Tournament was attacked, right? And look right here!" She gestured to me, and I felt my face heating up. "We've got our very own expert right here, haven't we? We can do this. We've got to try, at least. If it all goes to shit, wouldn't you rather have done all you could to stop it?"

I wanted to protest that I was far from an expert at fighting dark wizards, especially since so much of what I'd learned had been taught to me by dark wizards, but I didn't want to take away from the point Brigitte was making. Most of the students were looking much more inspired than they had a few moments ago, after all. And I couldn't argue the fact that Mr. Potter really had trained us for something like this. Of course we were underprepared, of course we weren't qualified, but is anyone ever prepared or qualified for a time like this?

"How many of you are old enough to go?" Ciara asked. All except two or three hands were raised. "All right. How many of you are willing to go, even if it means you might have to fight?"

To my surprise, not a single hand went down. Trevor pumped his fist in the air in some silent victory dance, which made Brigitte roll her eyes and forced Ciara to look away to keep from laughing. She collected herself quickly enough. "That's great. Thank you. I want to make it clear that no one has to fight, though. If you don't want to, you don't have to. There's no shame in that."

"We're either fighting a battle that could go either way right now, or a losing battle later," Thyme said sagely. "I'd rather get it over with."

As other students murmured in agreement, I found myself standing up from my perch in the corner. "You need to know something. Fighting—actual fighting—it's terrifying. It's nothing like class. You'll only stand a chance if you're not alone."

"Awesome," Brigitte said. "Time to break out the buddy system."

"We can do that later," Ciara said quickly, putting her hand on Brigitte's shoulder. She shot a glance at me. "What would say the most important spells would be? In case anyone wants to practice?"

"I don't know..." I hesitated before answering. "A shield charm, I guess. It needs to strong, stronger than you think it should be. All the offensive magic you know won't matter at all if you get knocked out before you can use it." I closed my eyes. This was hard, thinking back to what fighting was like, because I was flying back to the night of the DA raid. Albus, Astra, and I pushed up against a wall, casting our shield charms all in different directions to block spells coming from every angle. We only held out as long as we did because of Astra, but I couldn't exactly tell them that. "Next, um... I guess stupefy? Then expelliarmus. If they lose their wand, they might get it back, but they can't fight you if they're unconscious."

"Right..." Ciara was nodding slowly when I looked over at her. She smiled and took my hand, which I didn't realize was shaking until that moment. "The goal is to take people out of the fight, not actually hurt them. I'm sure fancy dueling magic can help you some, but Mr. Potter always said expelliarmus and stupefy were the most important spells we'd ever learn, didn't he?"

As they all nodded, I looked out at everyone gathered together. There were so many things I could see on their faces: fear, of course, but also some excitement, dread, sadness even. What were we doing? What were we asking them to do? I couldn't help being a part of this, but everyone else here, all the kids who should've been worrying about O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s and who they would be visiting over the summer—they didn't deserve this. Was this a mistake, pressuring them into joining a war? They could be hurt, die in a battle that they didn't cause or want. As someone who did have a part in causing all this, could I really sit here and ask them to sacrifice so much?

Ciara squeezed my hand, pulling me back to the present. When I met her eyes, she was frowning at me, and I had an eerie feeling that she'd guessed exactly what I was thinking. "You're doing good, Wren," she whispered as the chatter in the room started to grow.

I slowly shook my head. "Is it really okay that we're dragging them into this?"

"We're not dragging anyone everywhere." Her eyes swept the room, and she shook her head. "They all chose to be here. If they didn't want to do something, wanted to stay safe and ignore what's happening, they wouldn't be here right now. That's the whole point of what we're doing, you know. Fighting back."

"But they never signed up for literally fighting."

"No. But I think all of us always knew, somewhere in the back of our minds, that it could come to this." She turned so she was fully looking at me. "We can't protect them, you know. They might miss this battle, but eventually it'll come to them. And every person who chooses to fight Stillens could be the one who turns the tide of the war. We all know that. This affects all of us, not just you. Yeah?"

I looked down at the ground as I nodded. "I just... Ciara, this kind of fighting, what might happen at the execution, that never leaves you. I have nightmares about the night Mr. Potter died almost every night. It's not fair to ask that of other people."

"None of this is fair, Wren. That's the point." She reached over to gently lift my chin up so that I had to look back at her. "What your family thrust on you wasn't fair, and you don't deserve this fight. What Stillens has done here, what affects all of us, that isn't fair either. But the fact is that it's already happened. All we can is try to end it. Right now, that means going to the execution and being prepared for whatever might happen. Being prepared to be hurt or killed so that no one else gets this war forced onto their shoulders. You're not the only one who gets to make those sacrifices, okay?"

"Okay." My voice was smaller than I wanted it to be, and Ciara's brow furrowed.

"We're stronger together. All of us. You don't have to face this alone. I won't let you. Got it?"

At that, I managed a small smile. "I get it. I don't get to make this choice for anyone but myself?"

Ciara visibly relaxed, letting out a breath as if she'd been holding it too long, waiting for me to answer. "Exactly." She patted my arm comfortingly. "Whatever happens, it'll have been worth it, okay?"

When I nodded, I found that I meant it. 

~~~~

This chapter is the final one before the word "Climax" in my outline. We're there, guys. We made it.

Coincidentally, as I'm typing this my draft for the next chapter just says, "Oh no, it's THAT chapter." Which... fair enough. I don't think you guys are going to like me very much after this one. 

Question of the Day: ...are you scared?

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 4588