~Wren~

When I flooed back into Kimmel's office, I startled her out of a deep conversation with Albus Dumbledore's portrait. Luckily, she didn't ask why I'd been gone so long, only waved me off with a knowing smile as I hurried out the door. I would have been annoyed that she'd seemed to assume that James and I had just been making out, but it did work in my favor today.

I nearly tripped over Eviana, who was sitting at the bottom of the stairs. She sprang up as I stumbled back, shaking her head at my apology. "Haverna asked me to get you as soon as you got back."

My brow knit together in concern. "Is everything okay?"

"It's our situation from earlier," she explained, starting off down the hallway at a brisk pace. It took a second for both my feet and my mind to catch up to her. Our situation from earlier? She had to mean Isla Foster. I'd forgotten all about the girl in the chaos of the afternoon. Now I felt a new knot of worry form in my stomach. What had happened? Had I done the right thing? Had Haverna been able to help?

When we got to her office door, Eviana stopped just outside with a sigh. "She told me I couldn't come in. Sent me off for Poppy Stevens, then had me go wait outside the headmistress's office for you. I have no idea what's happened."

For a moment, I blinked at her. What could that mean? The only answer became obvious almost immediately, though—there had to be something going on that Eviana couldn't know about. Probably, something with Nico.

Sure enough, when I slipped through the door (opening it just a crack so that Eviana couldn't see in over my shoulder), the small office felt a little crammed. Isla was seated in one of the chairs, a blanket wrapped around her and a cup of tea clutched in her hands. She was staring at nothing in particular, a haunted look in her eyes. Poppy was there, as well as Nico, leaning against the far wall. He gave me a grim smile as I walked in.

"Oh, good, you're back." Haverna smiled tiredly at me. "I was hoping you could help us comfort Isla."

"Comfort her?" I echoed, sinking into the chair next to her. Clearly, something had happened while I was gone, more than just Isla calming down. Why else would Nico be here?

Poppy was seated next to Isla. "It's going to be all right. Really. We'll get it all sorted." Isla just shook her head, seeming almost dazed.

"Nico was kind enough to help us figure out what was going on with Isla's memory," Haverna said, her voice soothing. "There was a lot missing, but he was able to find it and put it back."

Nico pursed his lips and nodded. "Poppy told me they tried to erase all memory of Isla when they kidnapped her. With all that obliviating, I think they didn't take as much time or care as normal with hers. Left a few loose threads for her to pull, which eventually led her to the gaping hole that sparked all this."

When I glanced over at Isla, she'd looked up, blinking slowly as if waking from a dream. I tried not to imagine the horrors she'd suddenly had thrust back on her in the past few hours. "Oh, I see."

Isla took a shuddering breath then. "They're not really my aunt and uncle, are they?"

Nico shook his head. "No, they're not."

"And... they work for Stillens?" She shook her head, almost in disbelief. "They don't really care for me at all?" Poppy took the girl's hand, and Isla squeezed it tightly. She finally looked over to Professor Haverna. "I don't understand... why would they do that?"

She sighed heavily. "Stillens is a very evil man, my dear, and many people who want power have decided that doing the evil things he asks them to are worth it. Your guardians seem to be some of those people. I'm sorry you had to find out like this."

"What happened to my mum and dad?"

We all exchanged a glance at that. Had she not been there? I suppose they might have tried not to show her. Nico was the one who broke the silence. "I... they were killed. I'm sorry."

She winced at that, but nodded like she'd already guessed. For a moment, no one spoke. Isla braided and unbraided the same strand of hair over and over, almost seeming unaware that she was doing it. After a long silence, she looked back at Professor Haverna. "What happens now?"

"There are two options." Haverna leaned forward on her desk, seeming both serious and comforting at the same time, somehow. "You remember that I told you that you would be in great danger if you let Nico restore your memories?" She nodded. "That affects the options, all right? The first one is that I can help you leave Hogwarts, and get you somewhere safe. There are places Stillens can't get to, with charms to keep out anyone that could possibly want to hurt you. You'd be safe and protected there."

Isla seemed to shrink back in on herself, as if the idea of going into hiding terrified her. "What's the other option?"

"You stay here, and you act like nothing's changed. Write letters to your guardians like normal, like you don't suspect anything at all. Everyone in this room is a friend, who can help you learn what to say and how to act to convince the people in your life that everything is normal. I can even teach you to keep your thoughts safe from people who would try to read them. It's significantly more dangerous, but it would allow you to stay here and be with you friends."

The girl seemed more scared by that. She glanced around the room, as if hoping one of us might offer a third option. I was a little surprised Haverna had even given her the second one. It might raise some suspicion if one of Stillens' kidnapped children went missing from school, I guess.

"You don't need to decide right now," Haverna said quietly. She smiled, and Isla relaxed a bit. "You can think about it, talk to Poppy and Wren and Nico more if you'd like, as long as you're careful to not let anyone hear. Try to have a decision by the Easter holidays in few weeks, okay?"

"Okay," she said, in a very small voice. She took a deep breath after that, however, and managed a smile. "Thank you."

Haverna smiled at her, almost fondly, I thought. "Of course, dear." As she glanced at the clock on the wall, her expression grew harder. "There's a staff meeting in a few minutes that I need to get to, but you're welcome to stay here until you feel all right. I'm sure Poppy and Wren would be happy to keep you company."

Of course, we both nodded, though I wasn't sure I had the emotional energy to do that for long. Poppy frowned at me for a moment as Haverna walked past us to the door. "Are you all right?"

"Fine." I waved her concern away. "Isla, how are you feeling?"

She glanced up at me, expression hollow, and that was answer enough. I tried to think of something comforting to say, but drew a blank. There wasn't really a way to ease the blow of hey, your parents got brutally murdered and you've been groomed and manipulated by their killers for months.

Nico broke the silence. He took a few steps forward to crouch down next to Isla's chair. "Hey, listen, this is really important. No matter what you decide to do, I need you to promise me you'll try to avoid some people as much as you can, okay?"

Isla shrank back a bit in her seat. "Who?"

"Madam Cantha, Mr. Petrov, and Professor Rinduli," he replied, counting them off on his fingers. "I know you have to go to Rinduli's class, but try not to let her notice you, all right?"

"Why?" Isla glanced up at Poppy and me in confusion, but after a moment her eyes went wide. "Do they work for Stillens, too?"

Was it really a good idea to tell her that? Nico just raised an eyebrow at me when I glanced at him, uncertain what to say. I supposed it would be worse if she didn't know, and accidentally tipped one of them off. "Yes, they do."

"How do you know?" Isla was glancing between us now. "How did you know about me?"

Nico chuckled. "My, you're full of questions, aren't you?"

Instantly, she cowered. "I'm sorry, I don't—"

"No, questions are good." Nico smiled gently at her. "Questions are really good, all right? Keep asking questions about the things that don't add up, and we'll try to answer them, if we can."

"But..." Isla's gaze grew a little farther away. I wondered what part of the brainwashing her mind was fighting against. "Really?"

"Really." He sat back on his heels. "I know those people work for Stillens because I do, too. I'm a spy."

Her eyes widened so much it looked like they might pop out of her head. "That sounds like a movie..."

Poppy chuckled. "It does, right? All of this feels little unreal, I'm sure." She patted Isla's knee. "We knew that your memory had been erased because my friends and I did a lot of research on all the children who got taken like you did. We were trying to find and help you."

Isla's lip quivered. "There's more kids like me?"

"Unfortunately." Poppy sighed. "A few of them are safe with the DA, like Professor Haverna offered for you."

"The DA?" She glanced between the three of us with a mixture of awe and worry on her face. "Are you with the DA?"

Nico shot a hesitant glance at me, then nodded. "I am."

"I'd say I'm DA-adjacent," Poppy agreed with a nod.

Now Isla's eyes turned on me, and I faltered. "I... no. I'm not. Just a friend..."

"The DA really isn't as scary as it sounds," Nico cut in, smiling encouragingly at her. "I know you've probably been told some stories about them."

Isla nodded, an expression on her face like she was admitting to doing something wrong. "Don't they hurt people?"

"No. You have to remember, it's people who agree with Stillens that told you those stories, isn't it?" Isla nodded, and Nico nodded along with her. "If they were lying to you about Stillens, don't you think they might have lied about the group that's trying to fight Stillens?"

"I guess so," she said in a small voice. She looked down at the ground.

Poppy patted her shoulder. "You know, I think it might be time for you to head off to dinner. Or maybe we could convince the house elves to bring dinner to your room? What would you prefer?"

"I... I don't know..."

"I bet Eviana's still waiting for you," I offered. "Maybe she can help you decide?"

Isla glanced unsurely at Poppy, who smiled. "Professor Haverna said you could tell her everything except that it was Nico who did the spell, right? So I think she'd be a great person to talk all this through with. Want me to help you find her?"

Isla nodded, and a few seconds later Poppy had taken her hand and gently pulled her over to the door. For a moment after it had clicked closed, I stood still, trying to reorient myself. I started when Nico stood up. "Are you all right?"

"I'll be fine," I said, shooting him a faint smile.

He just raised a skeptical eyebrow at me. "So... the trial didn't go well?"

"Is it that obvious?" I felt my shoulders slump. Lacy was definitely going to interrogate me about it later, and apparently I needed to be a lot more convincing.

"You're not really acting very hard," Nico pointed out. "I'm sure you'll be better with your friends. You always are."

"I guess."

"I know something that might cheer you up." That was difficult to believe. I frowned at him, letting my skepticism show, but he was actually smiling like he was excited. "Want to hear?"

"I suppose so..."

"I told you that I'd restored Cassie's memories and that Longbottom wanted me to try with Artemis Wu, right?"

I slowly shook my head, wondering what was supposed to be so wonderful. I mean, I guess this might have been cool to hear if I wasn't so tired, but I could barely muster even that level of excitement. "I only knew about Cassie. But I'm glad to hear that. Is it going well?"

"Not at all." His grin didn't match his words, and I blinked at him. "It was horrible, actually. Lestrange and I have been as close to working well together as we'll ever be, and it's done absolutely nothing."

"I... I don't see what's so great about that."

"I realized that Artemis wasn't going to be very open to her memories being restored because she didn't trust Lestrange or I at all. She's had no chance to really get comfortable with us, and now she's a prisoner. And I do think it's really important that the person feels comfortable, at least enough to open up a bit."

I still didn't get it, which seemed to be amusing Nico. He chuckled as I frowned at him. "That was almost three weeks ago, now. It took almost three weeks to convince Longbottom that we needed someone there to help Artemis feel safe, someone she'd actually connected with at some point. Do you get it now?"

He raised a significant eyebrow, as if I should be making some obvious connection, and I just pursed my lips, at a loss. After a moment, he shook his head. "Longbottom wants you to come help, Wren. You're probably the only one who can."

It took a few moments for that to fully process in my head. I blinked slowly. Me? He thought I could help? Did that mean... "Like... he wants me to go there?"

Nico nodded, smiling widely. "Isn't that great? Of course, the deal is that you can't tell James, and you can't ask any questions."

"Of course," I echoed. I sank down into a chair. Professor Longbottom had agreed to let me help with this? He had to be desperate, then. And he really thought I could help? I couldn't imagine that it was really worth the risk I posed to the DA, but maybe Astra had worn him down... And Astra would be there! I would get to see her in person, talk to her for more than just a few minutes.

Nico was still talking. "Haverna and I thought it wouldn't be a good idea to tell you before Longbottom agreed, just so we wouldn't get your hopes up, but we heard from him earlier today. He wants us to come tomorrow."

I stared at him. This all seemed too good to be true. Was there a catch? "Are you serious?"

"You think I'm joking?" He frowned. "That would be pretty cruel of me, don't you think?"

"I... no, of course, I didn't think..." I slowly shook my head. "It's just all so sudden... maybe I'm not really taking it in?"

"You've had a long day," Nico agreed, nodding. He leaned back on the desk. "We can always tell him we'll need to wait until next weekend. Maybe make up a prefect meeting or something, some reason you can't go now."

"No," I said immediately. "I want to go."

"Are you sure? You don't—"

The door swung open again, and we stopped talking. It was just Poppy, though. She grinned at both of us. "That was incredible! Isla's doing so much better than I thought she would, given the circumstances!" She plopped into seat next to mine, then frowned as she seemed to notice the atmosphere. "What're you two talking about?"

"Artemis Wu."

Poppy gasped. "Oh, you told her?" She grabbed my hands, almost bouncing in her seat. "Isn't that exciting? I can't believe Professor Longbottom actually agreed!"

I laughed a little in spite of myself, then glanced back at Nico. "You told Poppy?"

Instantly, they both stopped smiling. "Don't tell anyone," she said quickly. "I don't think I'm supposed to know yet..."

"I had to talk to someone," Nico explained, looking a little sheepish. "And I knew Poppy would be able to keep it secret, if it didn't work out."

"I almost told you so many times!" Poppy laughed. "I really don't know why he thought I could do it."

"I mean, you did."

"Barely!" Poppy shrugged, smiling at me once more. "You won't tell anyone, right?"

"Of course not." I glanced between them, trying to figure out what was going on. It was the first time Ciara hadn't been around when Nico and Poppy both had, as far as I could remember, and I don't know why it was the first time it had occurred to me that Poppy and Nico acted less like partners of necessity and more like... friends?

"What's wrong?" Poppy reached out to pat my hand, and I realized I was probably too tired to keep the confusion off my face.

"Nothing," I said, shaking my head a little. I managed a smile. "It's... I don't know, it's nice to see that you're friendly to each other. I guess I'm too used to Ciara."

Poppy's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh," she said, "I guess we are. I hadn't really thought about that before." She glanced over at Nico, but he avoided her eyes. "We're friends, wouldn't you say?"

Nico looked up quickly, clear shock on his face. For a moment, he just blinked at Poppy, which made her laugh. "Well we are, aren't we?"

"I guess so." Nico laughed, seeming both pleased and uncomfortable at the same time. "Sorry. I don't really know how that works."

"Well, that's how it works. We work together and get along and bond over the fact that we miss Albus and Colette, and that makes us friends." Poppy laughed, shaking her head. "You're acting like you've never had any friends before."

I could tell Nico was still a little confused by this whole topic, and I supposed I couldn't blame him. He'd changed so much even since he and I had become friends, and that had been a very unique experience. Poppy was so casually affectionate that she caught me off guard sometimes, so I couldn't imagine how she came across to a boy who'd probably never had anyone affectionate in his life at all. I hadn't ever had friends before I came to Hogwarts, and it still sometimes felt odd to casually throw that word around. Besides, I knew Nico expected nothing except cold resignation and possibly eventual forgiveness from anyone. Poppy's kindness wasn't quite that.

"Anyway," I said softly, "Professor Longbottom wants this to happen tomorrow?"

"Wren, if you're not up for it—"

"I'm fine, Nico." I closed my eyes and rubbed my hand against temple. "Just need to sleep tonight, that's all."

"Are you sure?" Poppy asked. "How did the trial go?"

"I don't really want to talk about it." I was sure that one thing that would make me feel better would be seeing Astra. That certainly wasn't the same thing as being all right, of course, but I couldn't let how I was doing hurt the DA. Professor Longbottom might change his mind if I asked to delay, after all. At the very least, I could hold it together until tomorrow evening. I sighed. "I'm fine, okay? I want to help. I can do it."

When I opened my eyes, they were exchanging a worried glance, but they didn't argue. Poppy shot me a motherly smile. "Sure. Okay. Why don't we go get dinner, then, and then you can figure out the details with Haverna and Nico later tonight?"

Nico slipped off in the opposite direction out in the hallway, taking the long way down to the Great Hall. Though I could tell Poppy was buzzing with questions, she didn't ask any of them. Instead, she told me more about what had happened when they'd restored Isla's memories. It hadn't looked like much, but suddenly Isla had been in tears, sobbing even harder than earlier and barely making any sense. The only reason they could tell anything she'd been talking about was because Nico had pulled up her file, which they'd decided to let her read so that she could get her memories in order in her own mind. It had taken almost an hour and a half to get her to stop crying.

Ciara found us in the Great Hall, and got to hear the whole story from Poppy once we'd clustered together at the Slytherin table. I had seen Lacy across the hall, trying to catch my eye, but pretended I hadn't. I didn't want to talk about the trial yet. Or at all.

Unfortunately, the evening slipped away, and soon it was nearly curfew. I considered trying to outlast Lacy, Rose, and Iris, then sneak up to bed after they'd already gone to sleep, but Ciara pointed out that Lacy at least would probably pull an all-nighter just to talk to me. Rose had already downed an entire cup of coffee just in the time we'd been sitting in the common room, seeming to suspect just such a plan, and Lacy and Iris were masters at staying up far too late already. It would probably be better to get it over with sooner than later, just for the sake of having the energy to handle it.

Poppy, Ciara, and I normally spent the evenings in the Hufflepuff or Gryffindor common room, so us huddled in a corner and whispering wasn't unusual, at least. Almost immediately after the arrangement had started, Poppy had noticed that Ciara never left before curfew. I'd invited her to spend the night in the Gryffindor dorm, too, but she'd politely turned me down, making a joke that probably had a bit too much truth to it about how the nights were her private time to cry about Albus and Colette and she preferred to do that in her own bed.

She'd offered to stay tonight, of course, but as much as that would have been nice I thought it might have been a little suspicious for Lacy. Poppy didn't seem too insulted, luckily. She squeezed my arm as she got up to go back to her common room before curfew. "It's going to be okay, Wren. Don't worry."

"If they start getting too pushy, and make them leave you alone," Ciara assured me, standing up as well. "I can tell them to leave it for tomorrow, at the very least."

I slowly shook my head. My gaze was still across the room, watching my roommates laugh together. "Lacy won't listen to you. It's too serious. And she's right, anyway."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw them exchanging a glance. Ciara sighed. "It's not like you had much choice, Wren..."

"You can tell them that Russey pressured you into it. You had to go along."

I shook my head. "Lacy already tries to get me to go into DA hiding at least once a week. It'd be so much worse if she thought Russey was blackmailing me into doing his dirty work, and I was just frightened and going along with it."

"Then I'll tell them to back off. You're allowed to be tired, you know."

I wasn't sure the complete exhaustion I was on the brink of was as normal as Ciara was claiming, but I just nodded, suddenly not wanting to argue anymore. All I really wanted was to crawl into bed and forget about everything. Why did there have to be so many things in the way of that?

Poppy gave me a tight hug. "I've got to run, or I'll miss curfew. I love you, though. You're going to make it through this just fine."

"I love you, too," I echoed, managing just the faintest smile as Poppy headed to the portrait hole.

Ciara raised an eyebrow at me, then offered me her hand. "You look exhausted, Wren. Want to just get this over with?"

"I guess so." I took her hand and let her pull me to my feet. When we started across the room, I could feel Lacy's eyes following us, but I pretended I didn't.

We had exactly three and a half minutes of peace before my roommates joined us. That was just long enough to change clothes and sit down on the edge of my bed to wait for half a minute before Lacy burst through the door. She eyed me with concern as our other roommates filed in after her. "So? What happened?"

I motioned to the dress I'd folded and left on Lacy's bed, necklace curled on top of it. "Thank you. I appreciate the help getting ready."

"You're dodging my question," she accused, sitting down next to me. Though she didn't seem angry (yet), she was certainly very serious.

"I'm not," I said softly, shaking my head. "Sorry. It's been a long day."

"So you testified?"

I nodded, and Lacy sucked in a breath. "Oh, Wren..."

"What?" Ciara crossed her arms. "She recognized him, and told the court that. What's the problem?"

Lacy turned to me with wide eyes, grabbing my hands as she did. "You did recognize him? You knew he definitely worked for Stillens?"

"Of course," I lied, looking down. I couldn't quite bear to meet her eyes. You'd think after all the lying I'd done in my life I'd have been used to it by then, but it never seemed to get any easier. "You think I would make something like that up?"

"Of course we don't," Rose said quickly. She sat down on the floor in front of us, probably so she could actually see my eyes. "We just... we were worried Russey might ask you to do that. To lie."

"Because he would," Lacy added, her tone daring me to disagree. "That's something he would do."

I laughed weakly. Oh my gosh, I wanted to die. "Well... that didn't happen today, okay?"

The bed dipped down on the other side of me, and I glanced over to see Iris had sat down. She pursed her lips when I met her eyes. "I just... sorry, I'm not trying to say anything by this, really. I'm just a bit confused? I would have thought you'd be happy to see someone who worked for Stillens locked up, but you've seemed pretty down all evening."

"When has Wren ever been happy after she'd had to go identify some goon who worked for Stillens?" demanded Ciara. "Professor Potter had her do that a few times fourth and fifth year, right? And she was always a wreck after, wasn't she?"

None of them protested that Ciara hadn't been my friend back then, so what would she know, even though I was surprised she'd ever noticed that. It was true, though, and I was grateful she'd brought it up; I certainly hadn't thought to. Lacy had just frowned, Rose was wincing sympathetically, and Iris bit her lip. "Right. I... sorry, I didn't even think of it like that..."

"It was just exhausting," I said softly. "That's all. Exhausting seeing him, having all these memories dragged up that I don't want to think about..." I hesitated, trying to keep my eyes from watering up. I wasn't exactly lying right now, at least, but that meant I was getting closer to tapping into the torrent of emotion that was still simmering under the surface, and I couldn't afford that right now. I needed to channel that somewhere else. "I... I mean, you know how difficult it is to testify in front of the wizengamot, right? Even when you know you're right and the person deserves it." And how much worse is it when you know they didn't?

Rose and Lacy suddenly weren't meeting my eyes, and I knew I'd said the right thing. They'd testified at my trial, and I knew that that had wiped them both out emotionally, even though we'd never discussed it. I could tell, just by watching them on the stand. And I'd just tied that experience to this one.

Rose finally shook her head. "I... I do get what you mean."

"You didn't deserve it," Lacy added, a little too quickly.

"But you thought I did, at the time." I shrugged, managing a small smile. "I can't say I blame you. That's not my point, anyway. I was just trying to explain how I'm doing, help you understand."

"Okay." Lacy squeezed my hand, then nodded. "Sorry. Maybe we can talk about it more later, when you've had a chance to rest?"

"Sure," I said, even though that was the last thing I wanted.

The next thing I knew, Iris was hugging me tightly and whispering that I was welcome to some of her dreamless sleep potion, if I wanted it. Lacy hugged me, too, before sitting back to remind me again that if I ever felt like I was getting in too deep with Russey (who definitely worked for Stillens, why couldn't I see?) the DA could help me. Ciara was rolling her eyes as Rose finally hustled them away, loudly proclaiming that I looked like I needed to go to bed, and they certainly didn't want to keep me up any longer, right?

I think they might have gone back downstairs, because at some point after I'd crawled under my covers, the room got much quieter. Ciara had a lamp on to read a book in the bed next to mine, but otherwise the room was dim, and that was more than enough to carry me off to sleep.

I was back in the courtroom, still standing in front of Mordecai Ridley, though other than us the room seemed dark and empty. His gaze carried the full weight of indignation and anger that I deserved, and I found myself shrinking back. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "I didn't want to do this."

"How could you do this?" he asked, tears in his eyes that did nothing to dim the anger there. "To my family, my son..."

"I didn't want to."

"Just like you didn't want to use the cruciatus curse on your classmates?" he asked, accused.

I stumbled back in surprise. "I—"

"Like you didn't want to hurt the people Stillens told you to?" He seemed to be grower larger, or maybe I was getting smaller. Now, he towered over me, peering down with the most terrifying glare of righteous anger that I'd ever seen. I whimpered a bit as his voice boomed out, deafeningly loud. "Like you didn't want to kill those people?"

"I... I was forced to," I said, my voice a whisper that barely seemed to make a noise.

"You chose to! You choose to ruin the lives of others! Mine, and theirs, and everyone you've ever loved!" Suddenly he was out of the chair, and his face was all I could see, even when I closed my eyes tightly. I couldn't escape, couldn't get away from the booming voice or the crushing guilt or the sight of his red-rimmed eyes piercing my soul.

I was crying so hard when I woke up that I didn't realize I had, at first, or that someone was shaking me, whispering my name. When I realized there was another person, I gasped and pulled away, convinced somehow that it was Mordecai Ridley himself. Instead, I just saw Ciara's concerned face looking back at me. She scooted a little closer when she seemed to notice I'd finally made it back to the present. "Hey, Wren, it's okay."

When I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was a sob. Ciara held her arms out, and I fell into them, trying to stop myself from crying too hard and waking up the rest of my roommates, who seemed to be fast asleep. Ciara rocked back and forth slightly, stroking my hair and whispering that it was all right. That didn't help the guilt that was threatening to choke me, but after a few minutes I'd managed to stop crying for the most part.

Ciara sat back a bit, but kept her hands on my arms. "Nightmare?" I nodded, looking down. She sighed softly, and I felt her shift a little. "What... what was it about?"

I closed my eyes. That was the last thing I wanted to talk about, really, the guilt that seemed to have tripled in size since I lay down to sleep, weighed down by things I hadn't thought about in too long. But it had only been a few weeks ago when I'd told Ciara that the best thing to do for nightmares was talk about them with someone, and I doubted she'd forgotten that already. I simple hadn't planned on having any nightmares violent enough for her know about, I guess.

So I sighed. "It was Mordecai Ridley. The man from the trial."

Ciara was nodding when I glanced up at her. "That sounds rough. What happened?"

"I... I was talking to him... well, I guess he was talking to me. And asking how I could do that to him, ruin his life like that. Then he started saying it was the same as when I chose to hurt people when Stillens or my parents told me to. That I'd had a choice, and I'd chosen wrong..."

"You didn't have a choice, though. Then or now."

"It's not that simple." I shook my head, closing my eyes again. Justifying why I felt guilty about all this had to be one of the worst kinds of conversations. It wasn't like I didn't recognize what being forced meant, but that didn't make it any better. "There's always a choice, even if it's a bad one. I just chose wrong. Over and over and over again."

When I opened my eyes again Ciara was staring at me, seeming almost confused. She tilted her head. "I mean, I understand what you're saying about today, but... being under the imperius curse isn't a choice, Wren. You can't blame yourself for not being able to throw it off."

I blinked in surprise. She doesn't know. It so rarely came up that I generally forgot that most people in my life believed the story Mr. Potter had fabricated at my trial, that I'd been under the imperius curse every time I'd tortured my classmates first year. I felt a sinking dread in my stomach. That changed a lot, didn't it? What if it changed everything? Would Ciara want nothing to do with me if she knew?

It didn't matter. She was my best friend, and it was wrong to continue to lie to her about that. I pulled back a little looking down at my lap. "I need to tell you something."

I knew she was looking at me, but I couldn't raise my eyes. My hands twisted together nervously, and I clasped them in my lap. What if she hated me? Of course she thought I was justified now, but that could change. And to find out that I'd lied about something this big? Even if I hadn't really wanted to, I had. Under oath. What if that was too much for her?

She'd hesitated for several moments, but now said, "What is it?"

"I understand if you don't want anything to do with me..."

"Tell me what it is."

"Really, I won't be upset."

Ciara let out a nervous laugh. "Now you're scaring me, Wren. Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly, my gaze still locked on my hands. "I... I lied to you. To almost everyone."

"About what?" Ciara reached for my hand, clearly trying to be comforting, and I pulled away. I needed to get this out first.

My voice was barely a whisper when it came out. "I was only under the imperius curse once first year. Just the first time. After that, it was just me, doing what I was told."

For a long moment—too long—Ciara didn't answer. When I finally got the courage to cast a sideways glance at her, she was frowning into the distance, but looked over as my motion seemed to catch her eye. Slowly, she shook her head. "You were a child. Whether you were under the imperius curse or not, you were forced to do that. Weren't you?"

I looked away. "Does it matter?"

"What kind of question is that?" I heard the swish of her head shaking. "Of course it doesn't matter, not really. If you weren't forced, you've cleared repented of that by now. But I'd bet money you were, right?"

"My mother threatened to kill me," I said softly. "She told me she could be hurt, too, if I didn't do what she said."

"See? That's manipulation. Not your fault." Ciara scooted closer to me. "Wren, look at me." I did, and she was frowning. I couldn't tell if she was concerned or frustrated or scared. "Have you not told me this because you thought I wouldn't want to be around you anymore if I knew?"

I shrugged, feeling miserable now. "No, I don't think so. I honestly forget people don't know. I'm sorry. They came up with the story for my trial, because Carrow wasn't going to accept that I was forced to any other way, and I really didn't want to do it but Mr. Potter and Astra and James convinced me. And I'm sorry, I know I should have told you. But... if you don't—"

"Don't even finish that sentence." Ciara raised an eyebrow, but the sharpness melted away quickly. "I love you, okay? It would take way more than this to get rid of me. Honestly, the only thing I'm upset about is that you thought I'd up and leave you over this."

I stared at her for a long moment, trying to tell if she was just lying because she was too kind to hurt me when I was so worked up. Before we were friends, back when she'd hated me, she'd always claimed that I was lying about this, and I'd always denied it. How could she just let that go?

"Wren?"

Ciara pursed her lips, and I realized she'd expected me to say something to that. I closed my eyes, not sure I wanted to hear the answer to what I was about to ask. "What would it take?"

"Excuse me?"

"This really isn't bad enough to leave me?" I opened my eyes again, even though I was scared of what I would see. "Then what is?"

She sat back, blinked at me in surprise. "What kind of question is that?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

For a moment she just stared at me like she was trying to read my thoughts. Her expression grew more sorrowful. "You're really concerned about that?" I opened my mouth to answer, and no words came out, which seemed to be confirmation enough. Ciara slowly shook her head. "Wren, you're my best friend. I'm being serious. There's really nothing you could tell me about yourself that could change that. I mean, unless you said you didn't want to be my friend anymore, in which case I would probably cry for the rest of my life but respect your wishes and leave you alone."

Ciara smiled a little, but I didn't return it. She was trying to make light of this, make me feel better without really answering my question. "I could tell you a lot of horrible things, you know."

"I'm sure you could." She shrugged, seeming unbothered. "And I'm sure I would know that you didn't have much choice in the matter."

"Why are you so sure?" I felt tears welling up in my tears again, and brushed them away. "How could you possibly know?"

"Because I know you, Wren. And the only things you could do to truly end our friendship are things that are... completely antithetical to who you are as a person. Things you'd never do. Like... I don't know, murdering my whole family in cold blood."

I winced. "I've killed people before, Ciara."

She hardly blinked at that. "When you were being manipulated and used by your family, yes? Never because you wanted to. That's the key. I... I really think I could forgive you of anything, because I know that no matter what, you want to do good."

"I didn't always," I pointed out. "Until I ran away, I just wanted to survive."

"Yes, which is understandable." Ciara shrugged. "But you've changed since then. Something inside you has changed. I'm not sure what it is, but you're different. And I don't think you'll ever go back to who you were then." She reached out for my hand, and this time I didn't pull away. "I didn't really know you before, okay? The person you are now is the person I'm friends with, the person I care about. And that person is who you'll remain, no matter what gets thrown at you. And that's why I can know you'll never be able to do something bad enough to make me leave you. That, and the fact that I've never had a friend like you. I love you, and leaving would mean I lose you, too."

My hand was shaking in hers. I used my free one to wipe futilely at the tears that were now spilling out of my eyes. "I love you, too. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to—"

She shook her head, cutting me off. "You don't have to apologize. I mean, it kind of hurts that you think I'd... abandon you, or something, but it's okay. I'll reassure you a thousand times if that's what you need me to do."

I laughed a little. "I might need that."

Ciara smiled softly at me, then looked down. "I... I mean, I get it. I worry the same thing, sometimes."

Now it was my turn to blink at her in surprise. "You do? Why?"

In the dim light coming through the window, I could see her face flushing. "Well... it's just... you've got so many wonderful friends, and it seems like you always have, and I know most of them aren't here right now... but I suppose I just sometimes wonder why you choose to be around me when you have so many better options?" She swallowed. "And maybe one day you'll realize that, and... and we won't be as close anymore?"

She was serious. I could tell by the way that she was avoiding my eyes, and the fact that it wasn't like Ciara to just make stuff like this up. How long had she felt this way? She thought she was second best in some hierarchy of my relationships? I squeezed her hand. "What do you mean by 'better options'?"

"Just... I don't know. Astra and Albus and Colette and James, and even Poppy? They've all been your friends for so long, and I know they all understand you so much better than I ever could."

I shook my head. "I don't think anyone could ever understand what I've been through as well as you, Ciara. But that's not why we're friends." I hesitated, looking for words. "You're one of the smartest people I've ever met, you know? And one of the kindest, most honest, most caring. I genuinely love you so much. Maybe we haven't been friends as long as Albus, Astra, Colette, and I have, but the length doesn't determine how close we are. I don't know what I'd do without you. Do you believe that?"

It took a long moment for her to respond. I squeezed her hand again as she reached up to wipe at her own eyes, seeming to take in what I was saying. Finally, she nodded, then let out a choked laugh. "Thanks. I guess I might need some occasional reassurances, too."

"I think that's pretty normal," I said, smiling softly.

Ciara shook her head. "No, it's probably just issues from my first and only two friendships outside my family falling apart the way they did fourth year. I just... don't know how friendship works. Don't know... how to feel like... it's secure, I guess?" She shrugged. "It's fine. That helped."

"I'm glad," I said softly, wondering if that was something she'd thought about a lot, or if she'd really been able to just dissect her insecurities so quickly. I certainly couldn't do that. They started piling up so fast that I could barely tell one from another anymore.

"So," she said after a moment. "Back to your nightmare..."

I'd nearly forgotten why we were up in the middle of the night, but the mention of my dream brought everything flying back to the surface. Ciara pursed her lips as I slumped down, the weight bearing down on me once more.

She studied me for a moment. "Since you felt the need to confess all that, it sounds like you're connecting all of the guilt you've ever felt to this one thing." She let out a breath, shaking her head. "That's really heavy."

I shrugged, searching for a way to avoid whatever conversation Ciara seemed determined to have. Though I doubted I'd fall asleep again, lying in bed awake seemed better than trying to dissect this now. "I... I mean, I guess that's the price you pay for being related to a dictator."

Ciara did not laugh at the attempt at a joke, which was fine; it was weak at best. She just tilted her head, before leaning a little closer to me. "Wren, you can't keep holding onto guilt for every little thing in your life. So many of them you had no control over, and you're carrying the weight of things that aren't yours to hold."

I blinked. "I... I don't know how to let it go."

She hesitated before nodding quickly. "Okay. Right. Well... I think a good start would be just telling yourself it's all right to? That you can forgive yourself, and you're allowed to let this go, and you can move on?"

What she was saying reminded me vaguely of something Haverna had told me months ago, about forgiving myself for the things I couldn't change. I hadn't really kept up the practice of reminding myself that it was okay, but maybe it was worth another try. I let out a breath. "Right. I... I can forgive myself. I can let this go."

Ciara smiled. "Yes, that's right. Just like that."

I nodded, then closed my eyes. I can forgive myself. I can let this go. James's voice wafted through my head: It's not your fault, you didn't have a choice. Followed by Ciara's: You were a child, it's okay to forgive yourself. I focused on that, on the change Ciara claimed to see in me that made it impossible for me to go back to what I used to be like. I've repented. I can't change anything, or make it better, but I can move on.

Ciara squeezing my hand lightly brought me back to the present. I opened my eyes to her tired smile. "Well?"

I shrugged. Had it helped? I couldn't tell. Maybe my chest felt less constricted, but that might have just been the fact that I was finally calming down. The guilt was so heavy that I couldn't really tell if any of it was gone. But maybe it was, and what I had to do was slowly chip away at it, a little at a time, so little that I couldn't tell in the moment. Chip away until it was gone. I smiled a little. "Thank you."

"Are you going to be able to sleep?"

"Probably not." I hesitated, then added, "Maybe... I mean, maybe... if you slept over here?"

Ciara smiled at me. "Sure. Whatever you need." So I pulled back my covers to let her crawl in next to me. I think we fell asleep with our hands entwined.

~~~~

If my roommates noticed that Ciara was in my bed in the morning, they didn't mention it. Of course, it hadn't been too uncommon for Astra and I to wake up like that after a particularly bad nightmare. I was just grateful that Lacy seemed too distracted to ask what exactly I'd been having a nightmare about this time. She'd hurried out before I'd even gotten out of bed. Iris just rolled her eyes and muttered something about a boy, which made Rose laugh nervously. I didn't pry; Ciara and I just got dressed quickly and headed down to breakfast.

Professor Haverna stopped by our seat at the end of the Hufflepuff table to ask me to stop by her office and discuss a charms grade, which was code for DA business and almost certainly the plan with Artemis Wu. Poppy caught Ciara up to speed on that, since she really knew more than I did. We'd just started piling our empty plates up before we left when a strange, tinny music rang out through the hall. I glanced around in confusion, but no one seemed to be playing an instrument. Everyone else seemed to be searching for the source, as well.

"It sounds like it's over a radio or something," Poppy whispered. I had to agree.

As the music faded out, our suspicions were confirmed. I found myself tensing up as Astra's voice, bright and cheerful, rang out through the Great Hall. "Good morning, wizarding world! Thanks for tuning in to today's instalment of Info-Bombing, where I keep you up to date on the latest news from the front. Today, we're talking about detention centers."

By now, people were starting to recover from their shock. Kimmel stood up at the staff table. "What is this?" she demanded, having to yell to be heard over Astra's broadcast.

"—which, as many may remember, is run by none other than noted criminal, ex-Hogwarts headmaster, and current certified prat: Ferdinand Welling!"

People were starting to talk now, hurried whispers. A few people had leaped up to search for the radio. Kimmel was yelling for it to be turned off, but somehow it had gotten louder to drown her out.

"Did you know that this particular detention center is not only the largest, best-funded one in the country, but it's also the one most likely to house your very own friends and family? That's right; over ninety percent of the people our lovely fraud of a prime minister has sentenced to Azkaban actually end up here, experiencing tortures beyond the imagination. One recently escaped inmate described inhumane beatings, starvation, solitary confinement, and torture with curses he'd never heard of doing unspeakable mental and physical damage. Add that to the rumors that Welling's started using the threat of werewolves to get confessions out of people—a practice that is highly illegal under both British and international law—and you've got yourself some horrible human rights violations!"

Several staff members were searching the room for a hidden radio as Kimmel continued to try to shout over the report. I stared around the room, taking in the different reactions as Astra started to go more into detail about these human rights violations Welling was condoning. Some people were sitting dumbstruck at their tables, clearly unsure whether they should believe their own ears. Some were joining Kimmel's shouts, yelling about how this was an outrage, slanderous libel that should get Astra locked up in prison. A few of my old friends, including my roommates, were also scanning the room, seeming on the lookout for people who were agreeing and getting angry, possibly looking for some new allies.

"I found it!" We all turned at the sound of Petrov's amplified voice. He was holding a small radio up in one hand, which he seemed to have discovered inside a suit of armor near the front doors.

Kimmel marched over to him, ripped the radio out of his hand, then threw it on the ground. The broadcast shut off as it smashed across the floor. In the sudden silence, Kimmel stared around at all of us. "If anyone has any information on how this radio ended up in my school, and they don't come forward with it, I will consider them guilty of crimes against the Ministry and report them as such. Whoever planted this radio will be expelled and likely arrested, as well as anyone caught helping them. Am I understood?"

No one spoke; no one even moved until Kimmel had stormed out of the Great Hall, likely on her way to report the incident to the Ministry. I watched her go with a concerned frown, then glanced back at my friends. "Who do you think did that?"

"No idea," Poppy said, her brow furrowed. "Maybe Haverna knows?"

Since I'd already been asked up to her office anyway, we wasted no time in rushing up there. She wasn't there, which I should have expected—of course Kimmel would want her deputy headmistress to help her file the report, or at least listen as she raged about the disorder in her school. We sat down in the hallway to wait. After a few minutes of futile speculating about who could have done it, we fell silent. I had a feeling we were all weighed down by what Astra had said.

When Haverna finally made an appearance, almost an hour later, she ushered us inside her office before tiredly claiming that she had no idea who'd planted the radio, and she hadn't even known it was happening. Likely, it was one of Mr. Macmillan's aurors, or perhaps even a student, though if that were the case she was going to be having some words with Professor Longbottom later. It was probably best if we didn't know anything, of course, so she asked us to let it drop and not bring it up to her again, because she wasn't going to tell us anything.

By the time she'd gotten around to explaining what Poppy and Nico had told me the day before, Nico himself had joined us. Apparently, the plan was for us to apparate to DA headquarters from just off the grounds. From there, we would somehow be spirited through the compound to wherever they were keeping Artemis. No one would see me, and I wouldn't ask any questions or poke around. Professor Longbottom was on edge about the whole arrangement, it seemed, and the last thing we wanted was for him to think I'd simply come to spy on the DA.

At exactly one in the afternoon, Nico and I were standing in the woods off the road to Hogsmeade. Since I didn't know where we were going, we'd have to do side-along apparation, but Nico was hesitating now, seeming a little nervous.

I pursed my lips. "Have you ever done this before?"

"No," he admitted, then forced a smile. "It can't be that hard, right?"

"Are you sure you can do it?"

"Yes, of course," he said, in a tone far less confident than his words. He frowned, then nodded firmly. "It's not that much different."

I glanced over my shoulder, back in the direction of the castle. "Maybe we could go back and see if Haverna can take me? If... if you're not sure."

"Merlin, Wren, that'd be embarrassing."

"I'd rather you be embarrassed than I get splinched."

"You're not going to get splinched." He held his arm out. "Just hold tight, okay?"

Now he'd made me nervous. I hesitated, biting my lip and trying to decide if it would be worth it to run back and get Haverna anyway. We'd probably only be a few minutes late. But a few minutes late might be enough to make Professor Longbottom decide that trusting me wasn't worth it, and I wasn't about to lose a chance to see Astra. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that I'd faced far scarier things than apparating before, then took his arm.

Two seconds later, we were stumbling into the darkness of a small room. I blinked, trying to let my eyes adjust to the sudden lack of light. I couldn't feel anything hurting, so it seemed like we'd made it through all right. A moment later, I felt Nico's hand on my arm, steadying me.

Someone cleared their throat, and I turned around to see Professor Longbottom standing in front of a door on the far side of the room. Not that there really was a "far" side; it felt like we were in a small, empty shed. Maybe we were.

"Good to see you, Wren," he said, without the warmth I'd been used to when he'd been our professor at Hogwarts. "I appreciate your willingness to help us, even now. I hope you know that you'll always have a place here, if you need it."

I wondered if that was his way of saying that I had an out, if James and Russey were making me do all of this. If so, it was probably better not to acknowledge it; I pretended I hadn't noticed and simply smiled at him. "Of course. I'd do anything for my friends."

Professor Longbottom nodded slowly, and I was pretty sure I'd failed some sort of test, which was exactly where I wanted to be. He sighed. "Right. Anyway, I assume Elaine has already explained what she could. You can't speak of the things you do or see here to anyone, and you will be chaperoned at all times while you're here. Do you agree to that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Wonderful." He gave me a smile that struck me as a little sad. "You're currently in a DA safehouse that belongs to Elaine Haverna. That's under a fidelius charm, and also all you need to know about our operations here. We can't answer any more questions you might have, I'm afraid."

"I understand." I tried to smile again, but everything seemed so serious that it was hard to do.

Professor Longbottom glanced at Nico. "I have a meeting to get to, but you know how to get there through the tunnels by now, right?"

Tunnels? I turned to Nico, but he just nodded. Professor Longbottom seemed satisfied. "Good. No detours, all right?"

"Of course not." Nico sounded almost offended at the thought. "I don't want to know any more than I have to, and neither does Wren."

"Just making sure." Our old professor shot him a tired, then waved his hand. "I'm sure Astra and Ginny are waiting for you, so you two had better be going." Then he turned and slipped out the door behind him.

When I turned back around, Nico had pulled open a trapdoor I hadn't noticed before. I found myself staring down a dark, stone stairwell. A draft blew up the stairs, and I shivered.

Nico had already started down the stairs, but he stopped to turn around when I didn't followed. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you all right?"

"I... yes..." I closed my eyes tightly. This looked so much like the tunnel in Justus Purdue's backyard, the start to that sixth month nightmare. But it wasn't, and it was fine, and it's only a tunnel, Wren, what's wrong with you?

"Wren?"

"It's not far, is it?"

"No. We'll be there in about three minutes." I opened my eyes as I heard him start back up the stairs. He was watching me with the kind of wary expression people got when they were afraid I was about to break down, even though I didn't think I was very close to that. He stopped a few steps down from me. "What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine."

He frowned, clearly skeptical, but didn't push it. Instead, he held his hand out to me, to help me down the stairs. "Let's get it over with, then."

I hesitated for just a moment, staring over his shoulder into the blackness behind him. But then I took a deep breath, reminded myself that both Astra and Mrs. Potter were waiting at the other end, and took his hand.

It did take about three minutes, which wasn't very long at all. This tunnel was certainly more cramped than the one leading to the manor; Nico had to bend down the whole time we walked, and even I had to duck once or twice. Every ten or twelve yards, we passed a ladder that led up to a trapdoor. There were signs next to them, but Nico didn't pause to read them. I tried to keep my eyes ahead, honor the promise I'd made to not snoop around.

We finally stopped at a ladder, and Nico let me go up first. He told me to knock three times on the door, then wait for it to open. That was to make sure that anyone in the room who wasn't supposed to be there could be ushered out before either of us appeared. Professor Longbottom didn't want me to know anything about DA operations, but he also didn't want anyone else to know that Nico or I were here.

So I climbed and knocked and waited what felt like forever but was really only about ten seconds until the door flipped open and light poured down on me. Hands reached down to help pull me out, then I had Astra's blonde hair in my face as she hugged me so tightly I nearly lost my balance.

"Oh Merlin, oh Merlin, I can't believe you're here!" Astra pulled me out of the way as Nico clambered out of the trapdoor, completely ignoring him as she beamed at me. "I've missed you so much!"

"I've missed you, too!" I felt so excited that I could hardly think of anything to say. Well, actually, it's more like there was far too much too say that my brain couldn't land on just one thing at a time. I settled for just hugging her again, which she reciprocated tightly.

When she pulled back again, she'd grown very serious. "I heard about that trial you testified at yesterday. Mr. Jordan wants me to talk about it, but I told him I wasn't sure I could..."

I shook my head. "Please do. It was a sham."

"I really don't want to start dragging you through the mud, Wren."

I wasn't sure I wanted that, either, but it certainly wouldn't be the first time, nor would it be undeserved. I just shrugged. "I mean, you could just focus on Russey? But I don't mind."

She seemed very unconvinced, but I didn't want to rehash the whole trial again right now, so I cast about for a change of subject. One came almost immediately. "Oh! Speaking of your broadcasts, we had one at Hogwarts this morning! Did you know that?"

Her eyes widened in astonishment. "Are you serious? Oh Merlin, that's mad! That's so cool! How did Kimmel react?"

"She was pretty angry..."

"Completely pissed, more like," Nico cut in. "Threatened to expel anyone who had anything to do with it."

"Damn," Astra said, making a face. "How am I not surprised?" She cast a disapproving glance at Nico, then added, "You weren't the one who planted the radio, were you?"

"Definitely not. Not even Haverna knows who did it."

"Really?"

"Do you not know who does that?" I asked, frowning.

She shook her head, shrugging. "Mr. Jordan takes care of it. Everything's on a need to know basis here. That's not something I really need to know."

I nodded my understanding, then glanced around the empty room we were in. It had one high window, above all of our heads, but otherwise it was entirely bare apart from the nearly invisible trap door. I wondered if wherever they were keeping Artemis was similarly depressing.

"So," I said, "what exactly is happening today?"

"Well, we're waiting on Mrs. Potter," Astra explained. "She said she wanted to see you before we went in. Then... I guess we'll just go talk to Artemis, see if you can warm her up enough for Jasper to actually restore her memories."

I nodded, feeling entirely unequipped for the task. I didn't want to tell them that they were putting too much stock into my connection with Artemis, but I was worried that was the case. Instead of saying that, I just glanced between them. "Have you made any progress?"

"Not really," Nico answered. "I've been here every weekend for the past three weeks, and I feel like we've gotten nowhere."

"She talks to me, sometimes, but she's never open to anything I have to say." Astra sighed. "It's so sad, really. And I have no idea what to do to help her."

I wasn't sure that I did, either, but before I could say that the door opened and Mrs. Potter walked in. She scanned the room quickly until her eyes alighted on me, then she held her arms out. The next thing I knew, I was across the room, hugging her tightly. She kissed the top of my head through my hair before laying her cheek against my head. "Oh, my love, I'm so glad you're okay."

All I could manage was a nod in response to that. Being hugged by Mrs. Potter felt so safe, so right that I wanted to stay there forever. I wondered briefly if this is what being around my own mother would have felt like, if she'd been a decent person, but I banished that thought from my mind. No reason to think about her right now and spoil this moment.

Mrs. Potter pulled back, holding my face in her hands. For a moment, she just studied me, a sorrowful expression on her face. In fact, I thought I saw tears in her eyes. I wasn't sure what was wrong, so I didn't say anything. After a moment, she sighed. "I'm so sorry that I failed you."

"You didn't," I said softly, trying to shake my head even though her hands were still cupping my face. "I know there wasn't anything the DA could have—"

"No." Mrs. Potter shook her head. "No, Wren. I'm your guardian. You're my child. It's my job to protect you, and I failed. I failed you. Will you forgive me?"

I swallowed, my throat tightening. I couldn't identify a single one of the emotions flooding through me, except maybe that I don't think I'd ever felt so loved. Even if there wasn't anything to forgive, that wasn't really the point, was it? "Of course," I managed, then I was blinking away tears and Mrs. Potter was pulling me back into a hug.

When she stepped back again, she wanted to know everything about how I was doing. Since Astra also seemed to want that update, we moved to a different room that actually had couches so I could catch them up on how things were going at Hogwarts. It was probably close to an hour before Nico cleared his throat and reminded us all that we probably needed to get started soon, so he and I could get back to school before we were missed.

Mrs. Potter gave me one last hug as Astra unlocked Artemis's door and she and Nico walked inside. "I love you, Wren. I'm so proud of all that you've made of yourself."

There were tears in my eyes when I blinked. "I love you, too."

"Listen," she said as she pulled back, "when you break your word to Neville and tell James about all of this, tell him I love him, and I understand."

I laughed in spite of myself. "I will."

"And I wanted to give you this." She held out a small compact mirror to me. "You and Lily can use it when you need to get ahold of me, okay?"

I had to take a deep breath before I took it, trying to ignore the memories of countless nights I'd sat on top of my dresser at the manor and cried over a different mirror. However, this one looked nothing like my old one, mainly because it was painted Gryffindor red and gold. I couldn't help smiling. "Lily's going to hate that."

"It was Astra's idea." Mrs. Potter shrugged, a mischievous glint in her eye. "I'm sure Lily can get over herself."

The door opened again, and Astra poked her head out. "Hey, are you ready?"

I tucked the mirror into my pocket and nodded, a real smile on my face. Mrs. Potter squeezed my hand once more, then stepped back to let me walk over and join my friend. Astra gave me a thumbs up as she stepped back inside the room. When I glanced over my shoulder, Mrs. Potter shot an encouraging smile my way. I breathed in deeply, then stepped through the door. 

~~~~

Question of the Day: What are the odds I got covid my very first day being in my elementary school classroom for student-teaching this semester? 

Answer: Very, very high. But hey, you got some long chapters, so it's not all bad. 

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 11522