~Astra~

It was mid-February. So far, I'd done nearly three dozen broadcasts. I didn't always know where they were going, but I had a flashing light next to my mic that would go out when the radios were inevitably destroyed. It normally took at least five minutes. Five minutes of truth people otherwise wouldn't be able to hear.

One morning, I was eating breakfast with Faith, Charlotte, and a few of her friends from the infirmary when Mr. Longbottom walked up. That in itself was unusual; I only very rarely saw Mr. Longbototm, when I had to go up to the house for something and happened to run into him. It was even weirder to have him come up as if he'd been looking for me in the middle of breakfast. But there he was, smiling at me and Faith. "Astra, when you're done, I'd like a word with you."

I blinked, pushing my plate away as I did. "I can be done now."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. Curiosity was quickly pushing any hunger away. Surely everything was fine, right? He wouldn't be this calm if something had happened to my family, would he? I pulled my brow into a worried frown. "What's up?"

"Nothing's wrong," he assured me. "We just need to have a chat."

That put me at ease so well. As I followed him out of the dining hall and towards the house, I found my mind racing through every possible worst case scenario. Teddy and Toire had to be safe, because I was their secretkeeper, but what if someone had targeted Aunt Andromeda to find out where they were, or where I was? What if they'd found out more about Albus and Colette, and something horrible had happened to them in the detention center? What if James's cover had been blown, and he and Wren had been arrested?

It didn't make me feel better when Mr. Longbottom cast muffliato on the door of his office after he'd closed it. Whatever this was, it was so bad that no one else could hear?

"Astra, you're close with Cassie Williams, aren't you?"

I felt my heart drop. "What happened to her?"

"Nothing." Mr. Longbottom seemed surprised. "I told you, nothing's wrong." He shook his head. "I just wanted to know if she felt comfortable with you."

Now I had no idea what was going on. I nodded slowly. We'd never actually met in person, of course, but I was pretty sure her comfort with me in the void would translate to real life, too. After all, she's visited me a few weeks ago on her seventh birthday, just to tell me about how Charis got birthday cake in her hair. That seemed pretty comfortable, I thought. "Why?"

He motioned to the chair across from his desk with a smile. "One of our spies on the inside recently confirmed that the children Stillens kidnapped were indeed brainwashed. He thinks he might be able to restore their memories, but it's apparently a very delicate business, especially given how traumatic those memories probably are. We thought that starting with Cassie, who has pretty strong ties with several people in the DA, might be a good start. We're bringing her and Teddy Lupin here today."

I frowned. "Why bring Cassie all the way here when we've got children here already? Don't they have strong ties with their families here? Isn't this way more dangerous?"

Mr. Longbottom pursed his lips, the first sign that everything might not be perfect. "Well... Cassie has strong ties with you, and the Lupins, and we think it'll be important for her to have those ties as she adjusts to the restoration. But... well, apparently she's also very close with our unobliviator. And that might be even more important, especially when we're testing this for the first time."

A vile taste was creeping up the back of my throat. Who was he talking about? Why did it feel like he was edging around that? "Who's the unobliviator?"

He just frowned at me for a moment. "Astra, I want you to understand that we've thoroughly vetted him. Regardless of your thoughts, he's been a valuable resource to the DA. And I understand if it's difficult to hear—"

"Who is it?" I asked, my tone both louder and sharper than I'd meant it to be.

Mr. Longbottom took it in stride, luckily, just giving me that sad sort of smile adults are good at, when they know you're going to be angry at whatever they're about to say. "Nico Jasper."

My mouth dropped open. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Astra—"

"Nico Jasper is a psychopath! A criminal! He used me to kill Mr. Potter!" I shook my head, suddenly feeling like the walls were closing in on me. "No. No, you can't be serious. You really can't be serious."

"Just let me—"

"He was inside my head! For months! He made me think I was going mad! He made me hurt Colette, and torture Wren, and kill Mr. Potter! And you just let him into the DA?"

"No," Mr. Longbottom said, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't just let him into the DA. If you'll give me a moment to explain, I'd be happy to."

I wasn't sure there was any way he could explain any of this, but I sat back in my chair and glared at him instead of answering. Mr Longbottom pursed his lips, seeming conflicted for a moment, then sighed. "I understand why this is shocking for you, Astra. I was very hesitant when Elaine first told me about this. But apparently he was working closely with Colette St. Pierre before she was arrested, and both she and Elaine were convinced he was on our side. I've spoken to him myself, and I do see genuine remorse and repentance in him."

"That doesn't make up for anything he did!"

"I'm not saying that," Mr. Longbottom said evenly. "Only that I believe he can be trusted at this point, in some capacity. And while I certainly don't expect you to just forget about everything, I'd appreciate it if you could put things aside just for today, just for Cassie's sake."

"What if I can't 'put things aside?'"

He pursed his lips. "I suppose we'll try it without your help, then."

"Absolutely not! I'm not leaving Cassie alone with him!"

"Well, then, I'm afraid there's not much I can do. I'm a firm believer in second chances, Astra, and Nico has been proving himself worthy of one for several months now."

"He's not!" I felt my brain starting to short circuit at this complete lack of logic. Did Mr. Longbottom not hear the words coming out of his mouth? Nico Jasper worthy of a second chance? Nico Jasper making up for his mistakes? Murder is not a mistake you just make up for. I started shaking my head. "This can't be real. You can't... No, this is mad, completely mad."

Mr. Longbottom held his hands up. "Astra, it's all right," he said, in a tone that I think was supposed to be soothing. "Take a deep breath."

"No!" I stood up, clenching my fists. "This is... It's utterly ridiculous! You're mad!"

"Astra—"

"How did this even start? Who would have even listened to him in the first place?"

"Like I said, Colette St. Pierre—"

"Would never have done that! Not on her own! Who forced her to?" And suddenly, even as I was yelling, I had a sick feeling I knew the answer to my own question. My eyes narrowed into a glare. "I want to talk to Wren Predatel."

That seemed to catch Mr. Longbottom off guard. He blinked at me in surprise, then shook his head in confusion. "Wren Predatel? She's not affiliated with the DA anymore, Astra. I'm not sure how I could pull that off."

"I'm perfectly aware of her affiliations," I snapped. "Use a mirror, call Haverna, and have her get Wren. She'll talk to me."

"I don't think that's a wise idea."

"Why not?" I threw my hands up in frustration. "She and James have got to know I'm with the DA by now. I haven't exactly been quiet about it. And don't act like she had nothing to do with this Nico Jasper business. It's not like she'll be learning anything new." I sighed, and the glare finally slipped off my face again. "I can't make any promises, but I might be slightly more able to work with him if I can just talk to Wren about it."

Mr. Longbottom frowned at me for a long moment, seeming both troubled and thoughtful. I bit my lip, trying not to hope. I was still super angry of course, don't get me wrong, but the thought of talking to Wren, seeing her face again even if it was just through the mirror, that somehow made it a little better. Even if I was definitely going to be screaming at her for a lot of that time. At least afterwards we might have a few moments to just talk. To just be friends again.

After a long moment, he shook his head. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt." He raised an eyebrow at me. "You are to tell her absolutely nothing about DA business, current or past. That includes this business with restoring memories. Assume she knows nothing, and leave it at that, all right?"

"I will," I promised, with no intention of following through. If Wren was the reason Nico had been given this chance, she certainly knew that he was prancing around restoring memories.

Five minutes later, I was sitting alone in Mr. Longbottom's office, staring at my own face in large, ornate hand-held mirror and waiting for Haverna to call back with Wren. With Haverna's help, I'd convinced Mr. Longbottom that I could be trusted on my own to not spill DA secrets. Sure, I was pretty sure he was sitting out in the hallway waiting for me, but the office was completely soundproofed, so no fear of anyone overhearing, including him.

As I sat in silence, frowning at myself, I played through how I wanted this to go. I was getting more angry just thinking about what I was going to say, so any intention of being gentle and collected was quickly flying out the window. Would Haverna have told her what I wanted to talk about? She might already be on the defensive. Or apologetic.

I'd known she'd been sympathetic to Nico ever since the Magnus Caldwell incident, but I guess I'd assumed that had flown out the window after he killed Mr. Potter. I wanted to know what the hell she was thinking, giving him a second chance. Why did she think that was okay? How could she do that, knowing what he'd done to me? To all of us? And why hadn't she told me?

Without warning, the image on the mirror shifted. I sat up a little straighter as I met Haverna's eyes. She frowned at me for a moment. "Neville's gone?"

"Out in the hall, yeah."

Haverna nodded, seeming satisfied, then glanced at something beyond the mirror. "Would you prefer I stay or go?"

"I don't know," came Wren's soft voice. "Astra?"

I pursed my lips. Haverna might get on to me for yelling. "You could go."

"That makes me want to stay a little more," Haverna said, casting me a suspicious glance. After a moment, though, she sighed and shook her head. "I'll be in my classroom if you need me."

The next thing I knew, the mirror was being passed, and I was staring into Wren's brown eyes. She smiled hesitantly, but it faded when my expression didn't change. "Hey, Astra."

I heard the door close on her side of the mirror, my cue to start. "What the hell, Wren? Why didn't you tell me about Jasper?"

She winced. "When was I supposed to tell you about that?"

"When you saw me?" My eyes narrowed to a glare. "Don't you think I would've rather heard it from you?"

"Did you want me to do that before I spent the night with the dementors, or after?" Wren's expression had grown harder, too. "I don't know if you remember, but I wasn't really in the state to talk about anything that day, let alone that."

At that, I faltered. I had forgotten about the dementors, about why Nico Jasper might not have been the most pressing matter on my friend's mind that day. "Oh. Right. I... sorry, I wasn't thinking."

Wren sighed. "I understand why you'd be angry, Astra. It's all right. You're welcome to be, obviously. I could have tried harder to talk to you about it. Or tried at all. I'm really sorry that I didn't, and I hope you can forgive me for that."

Despite the reassurance, I found the fire I'd been stoking had gone out, and it would take a bit to build it back up again. I pursed my lips, resolving to keep my anger directed at the person who deserved it, at least. "I forgive you, Wren. Of course. Anyway, Mr. Longbottom really didn't want to let me talk to you at all, so I'm not sure you trying would have changed that. It's fine." I shook my head. "How did this happen, exactly?"

Wren closed her eyes. "It's a long story, and I'm afraid you're not going to like most of it."

"You're probably right. I promise not to scream at you."

That got a weak laugh. "It's okay, Astra." She took a deep breath. "I... well, I suppose it started over the summer..." Wren launched into a story about her time with her parents, being locked in her room, Nico being one of the only people she could talk to and her wanting nothing to do with him. She said he was starting to show remorse almost immediately, which seemed ridiculous to me, but gradually the children in the basement and Mr. Potter's death and Ciara being kidnapped all started to weigh on him more and more until he told Wren he wanted to learn occlumency, because he'd realized he was wrong and wanted to fight against Stillens. And so Wren had helped him convince Colette to teach him occlumency, and Haverna had started working with him, and now he was part of the DA.

After she'd finished, it took me several moments to get my thoughts together. Because, while all of that made sense, and I could understand how it had happened, it didn't change the fact that it shouldn't have. And that's what I was still angry about. "This is all bloody ridiculous," I muttered.

"Did I not explain something?"

"No, you did. But it's stupid. No one should have given Jasper a chance in the first place. He didn't deserve it."

Wren's face fell. "I'm sorry. I'm sure it doesn't make sense to you. Things were different at the manor, though."

"Screw the manor! And screw Nico Jasper, and screw all of this! It's absolutely ridiculous that the DA's just brought him on board, no questions asked!"

"They asked a lot of questions, actually—"

"That's not the point!" If I hadn't been holding the mirror, I might have hit my fist against the desk. "Nico Jasper was in my head for nearly a year Wren. He used me to hurt people, including you. He used me to commit murder! Of all people, you should understand how absolutely violating and horrible that is. How would you feel if it was Sulcan? And yet here you are, his biggest cheerleader. What the hell, Wren?"

She looked down. "I'm sorry. But... He's my friend, Astra. And I knew he wanted to change. I could tell. And I know he's done horrible things, but I don't think that means he doesn't deserve a second chance. After all..." She hesitated. "I mean, you gave me a chance. And I've done equally terrible things."

"That's different," I snapped.

"Why? Because I didn't do them to you?" She shook her head. "Maybe a lot of it didn't affect you personally, and a lot of Nico's did. That makes it easier for you to forgive me, sure. No one's asking you to forgive Nico yet. But you can't act like I was somehow more deserving of a second chance than Nico is, Astra. That's hypocritical, and not true."

I shook my head. Hypocritcal? She was being ridiculous. These were completely different situations, after all. "No, that doesn't make any sense. No one forced Jasper to join you uncle, after all."

"He was groomed into it for years before it happened."

"Still! That's not the same!" I shook my head. "Besides, you were forced to do everything you did."

"I was given a bad choice," she said, shaking her head. "Just like Nico was. I still chose it."

"Shut up. You don't get it."

"I should be in Azkaban, Astra. If we hadn't lied during my trial, I probably would be. And I deserved it. The only reason you could argue I don't deserve it anymore is because I was given a chance to change, to make up for the wrong things I've done, and I took it. That's the exact same thing that's happening with Nico right now."

I couldn't help staring at her. Wren thought she deserved Azkaban? How could she possibly think that? "What do you mean, you deserved Azkaban? That's ridiculous. You were a kid. Nico Jasper was 16, and you were 11. Not the same."

Wren sighed. "Think whatever you'd like, Astra. I'm not going to change your mind. Just... at least let him talk to you, when he's there today. If you want nothing to do with him after that, fine. But let him apologize. Please? For me?"

A horrible part of my mind was telling me to blow up at her, to be offended that she'd think it was appropriate to even ask that. But I met her eyes, pleading with me silently to do it. I couldn't understand why she cared, why she was risking our friendship over Nico Jasper. But it was clear that she did care about this, and was really concerned for him. I supposed it wouldn't be too bad to watch him grovel a bit before I stormed out.

"Fine." I sighed. "But you owe me."

The way she beamed at me almost made me drop the scowl. "Thank you, Astra."

"Whatever. Don't expect anything else."

"I don't." She was still smiling. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too." I sighed again, then managed a smile back. "How's school?"

"No worse than normal." She shrugged. "The new defense against the dark arts teacher makes me uncomfortable, but otherwise it's been all right. How's the DA?"

"Mr. Longbottom told me I'm not supposed to tell you anything about that." I grinned. "It's pretty cool, though. Faith Lindsey's one of my roommates."

She smiled. "I'm glad you're enjoying it. Lacy's been telling me all about your broadcasts. They sound incredible."

"Yeah." I nodded. It felt like I was bursting with things to say, and no time to say any of them. Marcus Dillam was here! And it sounded like I would be meeting Cassie in person soon. And Mrs. Potter—"Oh, I should probably tell you, I did try really hard to lie to Mrs. Potter, but... I couldn't do it. Well, she saw right through me. I hope you and James don't mind. I'm sorry..."

Wren smiled and shook her head. "It's all right, I'm sure. James would want her to know anyway." Her smile faded. "Have... have you heard anything about Albus and Colette?"

My stomach clenched. "Nothing that you don't know, I'm sure. They're in a detention center."

"Is... is the DA doing anything to rescue them?"

"Not that I've heard of, but that doesn't mean much." I shrugged. "Mr. Longbottom's pretty stingy with information. I probably wouldn't hear anything until after something had happened."

"Makes sense." Wren pursed her lips. "I hope they're all right."

I nodded, wanting to talk about anything else. Thinking for too long about Colette and Albus made me start feeling sick. I wracked my brain to think of something else, then, "Oh, guess who got herself captured?"

Wren frowned and tilted her head at me. "What?"

"Artemis Wu!"

Now her eyes went wide. For a moment, Wren just blinked at me, as if she couldn't quite believe that. "Are you serious?"

"She somehow tracked me right to the edge of headquarters," I explained. "She got caught pretty quickly. I've gotten to talk to her."

"What was that like?" Wren leaned forward a little, seeming intrigued. "She never seemed horrible to me. She seemed pretty nice, actually. I always just felt bad for her, though I think she felt bad for me, too."

"I can see it. So far, I'm the only one she's talked to at all. Honestly, she seemed like she was scared we were going to hurt her."

"I'm sure she was. That's how Stillens works. I can't imagine the sort of things she's been told about the DA."

"Can you think of—"

I was cut off by knocking on the door. I turned around as Mr. Longbottom opened it and stepped through. "Astra, it's time to go."

"Oh." I turned back to the mirror with a sigh. "Thanks, Wren. Love you."

"I love you, too," she said softly. A gentle wave, then I was staring at my own reflection in the mirror once again.

"Did that help?" Mr. Longbottom asked as I handed the mirror back to him.

I nodded. "Well enough. I'll talk to him, at least."

"Perfect." Mr. Longbottom smiled. "Let's go, then."

Apparently, this was happening in the building that housed the holding cells. Though Mr. Longbottom led me down a different hallway than the one Artemis's room was on, so these probably weren't cells, I still thought it was fitting that this was the place Nico was allowed to be.

As we neared the end of the corridor, I found myself taking deep breaths. I'd promised Wren I'd hear him out, and though I knew nothing he'd say would change my mind, I still felt like I owed it to her to keep my word and at least wait until after he'd said his piece to hex him.

Mr. Longbottom came to a sudden stop outside a door near the end of the hallway. "Astra, I want you to realize that you could be key to this memory restoration working."

I stared at him. "Me?"

"Nico believes that, even if it works, this could be incredibly painful for Cassie. The thing that's going to help is being surrounded by people she feels safe with." He placed his hand on my shoulder. "If you don't want to do this, that's ultimately your choice. But I hope you can set aside your personal feelings towards Nico for Cassie's sake."

Well, that felt like I was being guilted into this. I set my jaw. "We'll see."

"We will indeed." He turned around to open the door, then stepped inside. I sighed and followed.

I have to be honest, I'd hoped to never. see Nico Jasper ever again. Well, maybe I had, but only in a trial, being sentenced to Azkaban. Walking into a waiting room in the DA headquarters was not what I had in mind at all. Yet here we were. I walked into what looked like a modest living room. Nico was rising from the couch, watching me warily. Mr. Longbottom was frowning at me. "Keep it civil, all right? Both of you. I've got to go let Teddy and Cassie in, and I expect this building to be in the same condition it is now when I come back."

Nico nodded, and I just rolled my eyes. Mr. Longbottom glanced between us once, then pursed his lips and walked towards the door. "When you're ready, they'll be waiting down the hall."

And then he was gone, and I turned back to glare at Nico. "You... you sick freak."

"Hello, Lestrange." Nico met my eyes from a moment, then looked down. "We've got a lot to talk about."

"Bloody hell, that's the understatement of the year." I narrowed my eyes. "You used me to kill Harry Potter."

He nodded. "Yeah, I did. And I've done a lot of other horrible things to you, too. I know it doesn't make up for any of it, but I'm sorry."

"I hope you are." For a moment, I could only glare at him. I crossed my arms. "Do you know what it feels like to think you're going mad? Do you know what it's like to have someone in your head, making you do insane things, then making you forget they were there?"

"No." He sighed, then looked back up at me. "I imagine it's horrible, though. I'm sorry I put you through that."

"Shut up!" I clenched my fists, resisting the urge to draw my wand. "Stop apologizing!"

Nico frowned. "Would you prefer something else?"

"Yeah. Go die."

He rolled his eyes. "I walked into that one, didn't I?"

That was it. I stomped over to him, until I was close enough to jab my finger into his face. "You're a piece of shit. You don't deserve any of this."

To my annoyance, he didn't seem very bothered by the proximity. He just pursed his lips, frowning at me. "You're right. I don't. I know that, Lestrange. But that just means I'm grateful for this chance."

"You don't get a chance! You're lying. You're still a horrible person, and maybe you've fooled everyone else, but I'm not falling for this act."

He frowned. "Okay."

"You should be rotting in a cell, not switching sides as soon as it's convenient!"

"You think this is bloody convenient?" Nico snapped. He pushed my hand out of his face. "If I get found out, I'll die, Lestrange. This isn't a game. Believe me or not, it won't change anything. But don't act like I'm not putting my life on the line for this."

I glared up at him, then told him to do something completely inappropriate. He didn't even flinch. I rolled my eyes, then let off a string of expletives that he also didn't bat an eye at.

"Are you done?"

"No." I stepped back a bit. "Arse."

He raised an eyebrow. "Creative."

"Shut up."

"Listen, Lestrange, you don't have to like me, or be happy about this. You're welcome to hate me. I can't say I particularly like you. But Cassie Williams is going to be here in just a few minutes, and if we can't be in the same room without swearing at each other, that's going to hurt her more than it hurts either of us. Do you think you can handle a truce, just while she's here?"

"Stop it! You don't get to be the reasonable one!"

Nico's jaw twitched. He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "All right, then. What do you think should happen?"

That was a good question. I'd already used the "go die" line, and that might be traumatic for Cassie to witness. What did I want to see, though? "You're going leave me alone. You won't look at me or talk to me unless it's absolutely necessary. We can be civil while Cassie's here, but as soon as she's gone, I'm going to hex you."

"You can try to hex me. Otherwise, I suppose that's all fine."

"Of course it is." I glared at him. "Just know the only reason I haven't killed you already is for Cassie's sake."

"Fantastic." He gave me a thumbs up. "Is that all?"

"No. You can keep groveling every time you see me."

I felt like he was barely restraining himself from rolling his eyes. "Okay."

Another glare. "That's it. Screw off." I whirled around and stormed out of the room to go see if Teddy and Cassie had shown up yet.

A door halfway down the hall was open, and I could hear Teddy's voice coming out of it, among others. I paused just outside of view to take a few breaths and calm down. While I was perfectly content with being incensed at Nico Jasper for the rest of my life, I was angry enough that I was a little worried about scaring Cassie. That wouldn't be a good start to what was already going to be a difficult experience for her. Better to just put Jasper out of my mind for a few moments.

I was about to see Teddy for the first time in like ten months, after all. And Cassie for the first time ever. That was very exciting, and I wasn't going to let Jasper ruin it. After a deep breath, I walked into the room.

There were more people in the room than I'd expected. I found Teddy quickly, right next to the door. I scanned the rest of the room, trying to gauge if I knew any of these people, and immediately my eyes lighted on a dark-haired woman. The same one who had accosted me a few weeks ago. I blinked at her for a moment, completely shocked to find her here, with my cousin. Without even thinking about it, I turned around and marched back out.

"Astra!" I heard Teddy coming after me, and stopped walking out in the hallway to whirl around at him. He was blinking at me, a confused smile on his face. "Hey, Astra, what's wrong?"

"I'm not going in there with her!"

"Who?" Teddy glanced over his shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

"That Alexis woman!"

He tilted his head, seeming confused still. "You know Alexis?"

"She's only accused me of being too cowardly to be in Gryffindor, maligned my father, and claimed I was responsible for everything Stillens has ever done!"

"She.... She said what?" Teddy blinked at me.

"That's what she was implying with all her bloody questions!"

"Oh." Teddy nodded slowly, seeming to take that in. "Oh, heck." I rolled my eyes, and he held his hands up. "Listen, I'm sure she didn't mean it like that. Alexis can be a bit... blunt, is all."

"Blunt? Is that what you call it?" I shook my head. "I'd call it completely uncalled for and offensive, but whatever."

"Fair. Sounds like it was, sure." Teddy put his hand on my shoulder. "I've been friends with Alexis since we were at Hogwarts, though. I promise, she didn't mean it that way."

"I'm not bloody talking to her."

"Fine, fine, you don't have to. I just—"

"Astra?"

Teddy and I both froze as a very small girl hesitantly peered around the doorway. A stab of guilt shot through me as I realized I'd managed to do the one thing I'd wanted so badly not to: scare Cassie.

"Cass, it's all right," Teddy said soothingly. He held out his hand, and Cassie took a few hesitant steps forward to take it, her eyes never leaving me. She was dressed in a paisley shirt and green overalls, with a ribbon tied like a headband keeping her hair back. I'd never seen her looking more childlike and carefree, other than the wariness in her eyes as she watched me.

I winced, then knelt down so I was at her eye level. "Hey, Cassie. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

She tilted her head, leaning closer to Teddy. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, really. I just don't particularly want to talk to one of the people in there, but don't worry about that." I grinned. "I'm so excited to see you."

She giggled. "You saw me last week."

"Well, yes, but that was in the void. A little different than now, don't you think?" She nodded slowly, as if she wasn't really sure what the difference was. I chuckled. "You've been enjoying your time with my cousins, I see?"

That brought a much more confident nod and smile. "Charis is so cute! And there are so many books to read, and Teddy's teaching me about maths, and Victoire lets me come shopping with her sometimes!"

Teddy nudged her, smiling with so much pride that I thought I might tear up. "And what's the best part? Remember, you were telling me this morning?"

Her eyes lit up, and she pulled her hand out of Teddy's grasp to clasp both of hers together. After a deep breath, she said, "I don't ever have to be afraid of the scary man ever again, because he can't get to us in the flat!"

I don't know why I was hit by a wave of sadness at that, that the best thing Cassie could think of was simply being beyond Stillens' reach. She was seven years old. That was way too young to be worrying about stuff like that. I found myself struggling to keep a smile plastered on my face. "That's great, Cassie," I said softly. "I'm very glad to hear it."

She smiled brightly, completely unaware, then darted forward to throw her arms around my neck. I hugged her back tightly, hit again by the fact that she was here, she was safe. Teddy was wiping at his eyes, too, so I didn't feel so bad about discreetly doing the same.

When Cassie pulled back, Teddy reached down for her hand again. "You know, Astra, I did really want to introduce you to my friends. I didn't know you'd already met them before."

"Are you scared of them?" Cassie asked. She gave me a very serious, wide-eyed look. "I was, too, but I don't think they're really that frightening."

I chuckled, standing up as I answered. "No, I'm not scared of them. I'm proud of you for talking to them, even if you were scared, though."

"Oh. I haven't talked to them yet..."

"We're getting there," Teddy said. With his free arm, he reached down to scoop Cassie up, then started addressing her. "Baby steps, right? You don't have to talk to anyone until you feel like it, okay? Even if...?"

Cassie smiled. "Even if it takes ten whole years!"

"That's right!" Teddy bopped her on the nose with his finger, and she batted him away with a smile. "But the important thing is we know these are friends, right?" She nodded. "And you don't need to talk to them, but we need to make sure we're being polite, yeah?" As Cassie nodded, again, Teddy turned to me with a raised eyebrow. "Can you at least come let me introduce you? I'm sure Alexis wants to apologize for whatever happened last time."

I wanted to say no, and I probably would have if it wasn't so clear that Teddy was trying to help Cassie get more comfortable around people, and me being stubborn and refusing here would probably be upsetting to her. I could tell that Teddy was fully aware of all of this too, and banking on the fact that I could swallow my pride for Cassie's sake. That almost made me say no on principle, but I ended up just narrowing my eyes at him. "Fine."

"Thank you." Teddy smiled, then turned and walked back into the room. I rolled my eyes before I followed him.

There were three other people inside when I walked through the door: Alexis, the man who had been with her (Charlie? Chase? Chester? I couldn't remember), and one other brunette witch who was sitting next to them. I shot Alexis a sour look as Teddy set Cassie down and gestured at me. "So, this is my cousin, the infamous Astra—"

"Infamous? Really?"

"Would you prefer notorious?" Teddy chuckled. "Relax, Astra, I just mean I've told them a lot about you over the years, that's all."

I shot another pointed glare at Alexis before glancing back at Teddy. "Were you the one telling them I wasn't brave enough for Gryffindor?" I asked him. "Or that I'm the cause of every single bad thing Stillens has ever done?"

Chuck-Chandler-Chad sighed and wiped his hand down his face. The other witch leaned over and whispered, "What did you say this time, Alex?"

Alexis winced. "Listen, Astra, I'm so sorry—that's not what I meant by that at all. I just—"

"I'd bloody well love to know what you meant, then."

"Hold on, Astra." Teddy raised an eyebrow at me, motioning to Cassie out of her line of sight. She was frowning at me, seeming a little frightened.

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Sorry."

"I'd like you to meet my friends. This is Charles—"

"We've met," I cut him off, glad only that I now knew his name.

Teddy pursed his lips as Charles shot me an apologetic smile and a small wave. "Right, we technically have. Hello again."

With a shake of his head, Teddy gestured to the other witch. "And that's Elinor. She was headgirl with me your first year."

"Hi, Astra," Elinor said with a smile. She stood up to shake my hand. "It's nice to properly meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," I muttered.

Teddy chuckled nervously. "And I guess you've already met Alexis, then. Mind filling me in on what happened there?"

"I'd really like to hear this, too." Elinor cast a frown toward her friend. "It sounds a lot different than what I'd heard."

"I told you that you came on a lot stronger than you thought," Charles added, nudging Alexis with his elbow.

Alexis pursed her lips. "I apologize. I was just... curious about a few things, but I can see how the way I... phrased it would have come off offensive... and insensitive."

"I don't see how you could phrase any of it to not be offensive," I muttered.

"Anyway," Teddy said loudly. He closed his eyes, squeezing his hand into a fist. It was several tense seconds before he relaxed and his eyes popped back open. "What happened?"

"Well, first she asked if I'd ever heard any prophecies about me," I snapped, rolling my eyes. Surely that hadn't been some sort of allusion to the fact that I was a seer, right? She couldn't possibly know. Teddy would never have told. But somehow, the idea that she might know that made me even angrier. "Ridiculous question, obviously. What'd you expect me to say? Why would you ask that?"

Alexis shook her head. "I wasn't really expecting anything there. Just curious. It doesn't matter."

While I was tempted to ask what she'd been curious about, I decided I probably didn't want to know. I was beginning to think this woman was certifiably mad. "Fine. Whatever. Next she asked if I'd always known I'd be in Gryffindor, or if I thought the Sorting Hat made a bloody mistake. Again, ridiculous question. How could I have possibly always known I'd be a Gryffindor if I grew up with muggles?" I shook my head. "Why would you think the Sorting Hat's made a mistake? I've faced Stillens himself twice, and I'm only seventeen. What would you know about bravery, anyway?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "I know, I worded that poorly. I wasn't trying to say you didn't belong in Gryffindor. Just... wondering if you'd ever thought you might belong in another house more."

"And why would I have ever thought that?"

"I..." She glanced at her friends, but Elinor was staring at the floor with a pained expression and Charles was rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache. "I suppose I don't know. Good to know you haven't, then."

"Bloody hell," I muttered, shaking my head. Teddy shot me a glare that very clearly said stop swearing in front of Cassie. I just rolled my eyes again. "Okay, then. I guess you were just curious. Is that why you asked what I knew about why my father was in Azkaban?"

She winced. "I probably could've left that part out."

"You think?"

"I was more curious about his time at Hogwarts, really. What he was like a person, what he did, those sorts of things."

"Why do you need to know about my father?"

"I'm sure she was just wondering, Astra," Teddy cut in. "He's an interesting figure, you know. Bellatrix Lestrange's son who defected from the Death Eaters and married a muggle? I'm sure she was just interested. Right, Alexis?"

Alexis blinked. "Oh, yes. Right. That's it."

"See? Completely innocent. Just worded wrong." Teddy sighed. "Was there anything else?"

Charles groaned and Alexis sighed. "Again, I apologize. This was very poorly worded—"

"What were you trying to say?" I demanded, before turning to Teddy. "She asked what I was going to do next time I see Stillens, and whether I thought the war and all this suffering and death was worth it." I clenched my fists as my throat tightened without warning. I was not about to cry in front of these people. "How can you possibly spin that one to mean anything except you're responsible?"

For a moment, Teddy just blinked at me as if he were in shock. Slowly, he turned to Alexis. "That's what you said?"

"Almost exact words," I answered. Alexis just winced and nodded.

"What... I mean, how..." Teddy shook his head. "Why would you ask something like that? What did you mean to say? That definitely sounds like you're blaming the war on her."

"That's not what I meant at all," she said quietly. "It came out all wrong, and I apologize for that—"

"Stop bloody apologizing!" I snapped, gesturing with my arms just to let some of the I want to hit this woman energy out. "You have no idea what you're talking about. I was fourteen when I faced Stillens for the first time. Fourteen. And I had to watch my headmaster die right in front of me, because he was trying to protect me. Do you think I don't feel bloody responsible for that? Do you think I don't feel responsible for what happened in June? Even if I know it's not my fault, even if I know he's been targeting me since I was eleven years for something that's not even true and there's nothing I could've done about that then or now, do you think it doesn't weigh on me every single bloody day of my life? How dare you come in here and make that worse!"

A tense silence filled the room after I stopped talking. I was shaking a little, clenching my fists so tightly that I could feel my fingernails digging into my skin. Glaring at Alexis, who was just staring back at me with a mixture of remorse and horror on her face that only made me want to break down in tears, frustratingly enough. Teddy moved to put his hand on my shoulder, but I shook him off. I blinked a few times, eyes feeling wetter than they had before. "Well?" I asked, the fire nearly gone from my voice. "Don't you have anything to say?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Astra. I never meant to imply that any of this was your fault, but I definitely see how I did. I guess... I don't know. I forgot that you're just a kid in all this, I suppose. What I meant was more... if you could change things, not be involved at all, would you? Do you think fighting, losing things and people you care about, is that worth it?"

I frowned at her for a moment, trying to make sure my voice would come out steady. "Of course I think it's worth it. But I feel like you're forgetting that unlike you, I've never had a choice."

Teddy shook his head. "Really, Alexis, I feel like you could've already known the answer to that one..."

"I..." She sighed, closing her eyes. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

Charles grinned at me. "Really, Astra, we're all big fans of yours. I know Alexis kind of made it seem like we're not, but Teddy's always gloating about how great you are."

I shifted uncomfortably, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "Oh. Cool."

"It's really lovely to meet you," Elinor said, smiling brightly. "Of course, we're annoyed that it took this long—"

"There's a war going on!" Teddy protested. "It's not like we've had a lot of times for socializing in the past few years."

"Fair enough." She laughed. "Anyway, I hope we can get to know each other better soon."

Charles sat forward in his chair. "On that note... I was wondering something myself, actually. You were keeping up with James Potter while you were on the run, right?"

I managed to not tense up. "I... yes, I was."

He seemed very serious all of a sudden. "It's totally fine if you don't want to answer, or don't know how to... I just really can't wrap my head around what's gotten into him. I've run into him a few times at the Ministry, and he seems like a completely different person."

I shrugged, looking down. "Yeah. He... he's really gone off the deep end, I guess. He and Wren didn't believe me that Russey worked for Stillens, of course." I shrugged again. "I don't know. I don't really want to talk about that."

Charles took a deep breath and nodded. "That's fine. I'm sure it's a really difficult thing to think about for you, too."

Before I had to think of anything else to say, the door swung open to reveal Mr. Longbottom. He gave a polite smile to the three aurors, then glanced at Teddy and me. "Are you ready?"

I'd nearly forgotten why they were here, but now I remembered that I was about to have to see Nico Jasper again. I barely restrained myself from rolling my eyes. "I guess so."

Teddy turned back to Cassie. "Can you wave goodbye?"

She did, shyly, half-hiding behind Teddy's leg as they waved back. When he held his hand out, she took it quickly, leaning into him as she did.

"So great to see you all," Teddy said with a grin. "Hope we can do it again sometime, for sure."

"It was nice meeting you, Astra!" Elinor said, smiling at me. Charles and Alexis both smiled as well, but I slipped out the door before I had to say anything else to them. Teddy and Cassie followed soon after, and Mr. Longbottom led us back down the hall to the room where I'd left Nico. I tried not to wince as I heard Cassie quietly asking Teddy why I didn't like his friends.

Mr. Longbottom pushed the door open, then stepped aside to let us through. I rolled my eyes at the sight of Nico, rising from the couch as we came in. Any thoughts I had about him were cut off, though, by a shrill squeal before Cassie ran past me to throw herself at Nico. "I didn't know you were going to be here!" she exclaimed.

Nico chuckled, seeming a little uncomfortable as he patted Cassie's back. "Well, it's a secret. No one's allowed to know except us, all right?"

Cassie pulled back, frowning. "So I can't tell Charis?"

Nico seemed confused, but Teddy shook his head. He seemed to be barely restraining a glare. "No, that's fine, Cass. You can tell Charis. Victoire already knows."

"Oh, good." She turned back to Nico with a grin. "I've missed you so much! Did you know I had a birthday? I'm seven now!"

"Wow," Nico said, raising his eyebrows. "That's incredible, Cassie. Happy late birthday."

I exchanged a glance with Teddy, and was relieved to see my own frustration mirrored in his eyes. He was certainly going to do a better job of hiding it, I was sure, but I was glad to know I wasn't the only one who thought this whole situation was ridiculous.

"Do you need anything else, Nico?" Mr. Longbottom asked.

He shook his head. "I should just need a wand, if this works."

"All right, then. Let's get started. I don't want you to be missed back at Hogwarts."

Two minutes later, Cassie was seated on Teddy's lap on the couch, with me hovering next to them, unsure what to do. Mr Longbottom stood near the door, watching with a serious expression on his face. Teddy had his arm wrapped around Cassie's waist, and she was gripping it tightly, seeming nervous now that she was picking up on the tenseness in the room. Teddy leaned forward a little. "It's going to be all right, Cassie. I promise."

Nico knelt down in front of them, smiling a little. "Cassie, I'm about to try to give you some memories back, memories that the scary man took from you." Cassie winced at the mention of Stillens, but nodded a little. "They're memories of before," Nico continued, "but that's okay."

Teddy patted her leg. "We've talked about that. Thinking about before is allowed now, right?"

"Yeah," Cassie said, her voice almost a whisper.

Nico nodded seriously. "I want you to be prepared, all right? You might remember some very scary, bad things. But they're just memories, all right? They can't hurt you anymore. And we're all right here with you. You're safe, okay?"

Cassie glanced at me, eyes wide, and I tried to give her a reassuring smile. Luckily, that seemed to help, because she turned back to Nico and gave him a very serious look. "Okay."

He reached up to put his hand on the side of her head, much more gently than I'd have thought he was capable of. "Are you ready?"

She hesitated. "Will it hurt?"

"Not at all."

A deep breath, then she nodded. "Okay, I'm ready."

Nico nodded and closed his eyes, holding his wand up between them. After a moment or two, Cassie closed her eyes, too. For several long minutes, I couldn't tell what was happening. Nico seemed strained a few a times, and Cassie whimpered more than once, tightening her grip on Teddy's arm. Overall, though, there was nothing apparent happening. No real signs of magic, no whispered spells or flashes of light.

Finally, Nico opened his eyes and sat back on his heels, pulling his hand away from Cassie. She slowly blinked her eyes open, too, seeming disoriented. I held my breath for a moment, waiting to see if anything visible had changed, then asked, "Did it work?"

"I think so," Nico said. He pursed his lips for a moment. "I found the memories, at least. I think they should be restored."

"How can we tell?"

"Cassie," he said, instead of answering me, "what's your full name?"

She stared at him for a moment. "Cassie Williams."

"No, do you remember your full name?"

She frowned, thinking about that for a moment, then nodded. "Cassandra Lorraine Williams."

"Perfect." Nico smiled at her. "Do you remember your mum and dad?"

For a moment, she just stared at him, then her eyes widened. "Mummy and Daddy!" She twisted around to look back at Teddy. "Where are they? Are they here, too?"

Nico winced. "She should remember that."

Teddy nodded quickly, then gently moved Cassie so she was sitting sideways on his lap, and could look up at him without straining herself. "Cass, do you remember the last time you saw them?"

She thought about that for a moment, and her expression gradually fell until she was blinking tears away. "I... we were at home, eating dinner, and a lot of people came in with wands? And they shot spells at Mummy and Daddy..." Her voice broke, and she turned to put her arms around Teddy's neck, burying her face in his shoulder. When. She spoke again, her voice was so muffled I could barely make out what she said. "What happened to them?"

Teddy stroked her hair, rocking back and forth slightly. "It's all right, Cassie. It's over."

"Are they gone?"

"I... I'm afraid so, darling."

That made her start crying in earnest. For a while, Teddy just rocked her, whispering soothing things and rubbing her back. I glanced at Nico and saw him watching with true concern. For a moment, I almost forgot that I wanted to kill him.

When Cassie finally calmed down to talk again, she sat still for several moments, staring at the floor. "I remember why I don't believe in Santa Claus," she said finally.

I blinked. That was a bit of a weird thing to latch onto. "Why not?"

"My brother told me he wasn't real. But..." Her lip trembled. "Sam is gone too, isn't he?"

Teddy nodded slowly. "Yes, he is."

Cassie blinked quickly, seeming on the verge of tears again. She took a deep breath, though. "Why... Why did they do that?"

"Do what?" I asked softly.

"Why is my family gone? Why did they do that?"

I leaned a little closer. "I'm so sorry, Cassie. It's because they're cruel, horrible people. I'm sorry they've hurt you so much."

Cassie looked back down at the floor. "Aunt Katreena and Uncle Isaac were there," she said softly. "They were the ones casting the spells."

Teddy pursed his lips and closed his eyes. I tried not to wince. That wasn't surprising, of course, but I had no idea how to help her process that. I didn't think she'd ever quite made the jump to they're horrible people.

"They're not really my aunt and uncle, are they?" Cassie asked after a moment.

"No, they're not," Nico said. "They lied about that, just like they lied about a lot of things."

She whimpered. "Does that mean Wren...?"

"No, Wren's not like them at all," I assured her quickly.

"Wren doesn't want anything to do with her parents, either," Nico agreed. "You don't need to worry about that."

She leaned back against Teddy's chest, seeming suddenly much smaller and younger than she had before. "Can we go home soon?" she asked softly.

"Of course, Cassie," Teddy replied. "Whenever you want."

Nico glanced up at Teddy. "I'm pretty sure I've restored all her memories, but I don't think it's a great idea to go dredging them all up at once. There were a lot of truly horrible things there. They might pop up over time as she remembers them."

Teddy nodded solemnly. "We'll be looking out for that." He hesitated, then added, "Thanks."

Cassie was watching Nico with a frown. "Do you have to go back to school again?"

"I do, yeah." He smiled at her. "You've been very brave, Cassie, and I'm really proud of you. It's time to go home, now, though."

She blinked twice, then squirmed off of Teddy's lap and threw her arms around Nico, which seemed to catch him off guard. It took a second for me to realize she'd started crying again. Nico just frowned, hugging her back gently. I rolled my eyes, though I wasn't entirely sure why. I couldn't help being struck by the fact that he did genuinely seem to care about Cassie, which was a shock. I'd known she thought he was a friend, but that hadn't really meant much when Cassie had been at the manor. I was feeling conflicted in a way I didn't want to be.

After a minute or so, Nico pulled back and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, it's all right, Cassie. Why don't you say goodbye to Astra, okay?"

Cassie turned to me, seeming surprised and upset. "Can't you come with us?"

I winced. "Not today, no." Her lip quivered, and I quickly added, "I don't know how to apparate, Cassie. But I'll come visit soon. I promise. Teddy can come get me."

She wiped at her eyes and nodded. "Okay. And you'll keep that promise?"

"Yes, definitely," I said, internally cringing. She was just making sure, and I couldn't blame her for that. "I won't make you promises I can't keep anymore. Don't worry."

She reached up to hug me tightly, seeming content with that. After a minute or two, Teddy stood up and reached down to take her hand. "Are you ready to go?"

Cassie nodded, giving both me and Nico a teary smile and wave as Teddy led her over to the door. Mr. Longbottom opened the door to let them through, then glanced back at us. "Did you two manage to get things worked out before, or do you need more time?"

Nico turned to me questioningly, and I frowned at him. "I'd like to tell him to piss off at least once more, I think."

Mr. Longbottom sighed. "I'll be right outside. Keep it peaceful, Astra."

"Nico's the one who's tried to kill me before!" I exclaimed. Mr. Longbottom just rolled his eyes and stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"I didn't know that spell was that bad!" Nico closed his eyes, taking a breath. "Sorry. I get that's not an excuse."

I glared at him for a moment, trying to get my thoughts in order. I still hated him, that much was sure. He was not now nor ever would be forgiven for anything he'd done to me or my friends. But... I don't know. Seeing the way he interacted with Cassie had not been at all what I'd expected. The cruel, manipulative, bullying near-murderer I'd known since first year had seemed entirely absent from the room while she'd been here. In its place was a boy I hardly recognized. A boy I still hated, mind you, a boy who had chosen to work for Stillens and willingly messed with my head for a year. But maybe Wren was right, and maybe he was a boy who was also regretting those things. Maybe his treatment of Cassie was only possible for someone who had genuinely started to change, at least in some small way.

Of course, I still didn't think he deserved to change, let's be clear. But I was starting to realize that it might not particularly matter what I thought in this case. I might just have to accept this absolutely horrendous choice and learn to live with it.

Nico was watching me with wariness, but also curiosity, I thought. After several long seconds of silence, he shook his head. "I thought you were going to tell me to piss off again."

"Piss off," I responded automatically. But then I rolled my eyes. "When'd you get so good with children?"

"What?" He seemed genuinely taken aback. "I hate children."

I raised an eyebrow, surprised not only that he would just admit that no problem, but also that it clearly contradicted what I'd just seen. "Then why were you acting like that with Cassie?"

He shrugged, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I mean, I don't know. She's seven. I'm not going to be an arse to her just because she's a kid. She can't help it."

"You've never had a problem being an arse to people before."

"If you're talking about you and your friends, that's because you're not children, and you started it in the first place," he snapped. Almost immediately, though, he winced. "I'm trying to do better, I mean."

I rolled my eyes again. "So I've heard. And I still think that's absolutely ridiculous, you know. That you get to do that. You've done so many horrible things, and you get to just switch sides as if nothing ever happened? Face no consequences at all?"

He sighed. "You know, Wren told me that she thought she'd go to Azkaban, when she came back. Did you know that?"

I'd only learned that this morning, but I nodded as if I'd known for much longer. "What does that have to do with this?"

"She still ran away from her family, came back to face the consequences of the things she'd done. Just because she knew it was the right thing to do. She told me she felt very lucky to have been given a second chance."

That I did know, that Wren had always been convinced she was a horrible person who didn't deserve the grace she'd been shown. I slowly nodded. "Okay. Still not seeing the connection here."

Nico looked down. "I would never tell Wren this, because I think she expects people to treat me like they've treated her, and doesn't understand why they wouldn't. But if we reach the end of the war, if we win, and I have to stand trial for my crimes, I'll do it gladly. I'll accept whatever consequences they give me. Because whatever you'd like to believe, Astra, I'm not in this for myself. I'm fighting for Wren, and Poppy, and Colette and Albus, and Professor Haverna, and all those children who are still in the basement of the manor. I'm fighting so that no one else has to go through the things they have. Things I've helped cause. If I don't get to experience the benefits of it, it'll still be worth it."

I stared at him for a moment. There was no way Wren had told him to say that, because it wasn't something Wren would even think of, I was sure. Which meant it had to be how he really felt. I'd never actually seen Nico being... vulnerable, I guess? Is that what this was? Even through the fog of my hatred for him, I couldn't help seeing that this was the most real thing I'd ever heard him say. And somehow, I realized in the moment, it was perhaps the only thing he could have ever said to make me even consider giving him a chance.

"Oh," was all I could say at first. I nodded. "I see. I'm glad to hear it, I guess."

"So you're not going to hex me?" He shifted uncomfortably, as if he'd only just realized he'd said all of that out loud.

"Not right now, I suppose." I hesitated. "I... I can kind of see what Wren sees in you, I suppose. If I squint. And tilt my head. And pretend a lot."

To my surprise, he laughed, seemingly in spite of himself. "Marvelous. I'll make sure to let her know. That'll make her day."

"Don't you dare," I snapped. "Tell her I hexed you out of the room, or I really will next time I see you."

He just chuckled again. "Whatever you want, Lestrange." He started towards the door, but paused to turn back. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"I... not hexing me, I suppose?"

I shrugged. "Don't take it personally. I still hate you."

"Oh, of course. The feeling's mutual." He darted out before I could hex him. Though, honestly, I wasn't entirely convinced that I would have. 

~~~~

So... I think this is the chapter that first broke 10,000 words... Whoops.

Question of the Day: I know we have a lot of strong feelings about Nico Jasper, so I'm wondering what you would say to him if you got to talk to him face-to-face.

Answer: I personally I have no idea, because I've spent so much time figuring out what all my different characters would say and it's almost impossible for me to separate myself from them and the contexts they've interacted with him in. I know, I know, this isn't really an answer, but I really have no idea! I've probably had a slightly easier time writing Wren's interactions with him than some of the others, so it would probably be something similar to things she's said to him, but I really don't know. 

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 10452