~Astra~

An hour into our walk, I was already regretting leaving the floo network behind. James kept telling me we were nearly to the next village, and I suppose an hour wasn't actually that far of a walk, but it was much farther than I'd ever been expected to go before. In fact, I hadn't even been on a long car ride since third year or so. Aunt Andromeda didn't have a car, and we'd always just flooed anywhere we needed to go. An hour walk seemed like an incredible waste of time an energy.

I complained about it one single time, and James offered to test out side-along apparition. I shot him a withering glare and decided I wasn't going to complain about that anymore.

"The map says we'll be there in fifteen minutes," James told me from up ahead. I rolled my eyes. The sun was getting high enough to be hot. Worse, I felt incredibly exposed just walking along the road. We weren't that far from Hogsmeade. Though I didn't expect to have any wizards driving past us, it wasn't completely out of the question. Surely someone had noticed we were gone by now.

"I've been thinking," James said, "it might be a good idea if I have an alibi? Make people think we aren't together?"

"How would you do that?" I asked, my tone more annoyed than I meant it to be. James glanced over his shoulder, his expression a little concerned, and I forced an apologetic smile.

He slowed down a little so we were walking next to each other. "I've been thinking about it all night, actually. What I'd like everyone else to think I'm doing. Because, you know, realistically, there's a good chance that if we can rescue Wren, it'll happen before the war is over. What do we do after that?"

I shrugged. It seemed a little useless to be making plans for a future that wasn't sure.

"I'd just like to be prepared, you know. I think that if I wanted it to look like I was cutting ties with the DA, now would be the time."

"Why would you want to cut ties with the DA?" I asked, raising an eyebrow in surprise.

"I don't. I just think it might be useful if people thought I did."

"How would that be useful?"

"I don't know. I just know that after we rescue Wren, I'm not sure I want to just go into perpetual hiding. I want to fight."

"I'm not going into perpetual hiding," I snapped. "You're welcome to leave whenever you'd like."

James's eyes widened. "Oh, no, that's not what I mean. Astra, I want to be with you right now. I just think that it's a good idea to keep my options open. At least make the Ministry and Stillens think I'm completely uninvolved, uninterested in the DA. It would make me far less suspicious than a Potter might be otherwise, if I pull it off right. I could eventually work my way up in the Ministry, maybe, and help the DA, if we do rescue Wren and things change. Russey's nearly wiped out anyone they had in positions of power. I think Macmillan's the only one left, and he's probably on thin ice."

I didn't want to admit that that was a good plan, mainly because I was jealous that it was a plan he could make. I didn't get to be less suspicious, because I was basically a wanted criminal. That wasn't fair. But I supposed he had a point; it probably would be useful if he at least had an alibi, and couldn't be traced back to being with me. Grudgingly, I shrugged. "Why would anyone believe you don't care about the DA, though?"

"I mean, disappearing to France right after my father was killed and my girlfriend was kidnapped in an 'under-prepared vigilante raid' might give people the initial idea that I'm fed up with them. I think this is exactly the sort of thing that would disillusion me, if I was going to be disillusioned."

"You're going to France?"

"The Dubois twins would help, I think. If I just apparate over there every few days, go out to all the wizarding pubs and stuff, make sure I get noticed... Seems pretty reasonable to assume that if I'm partying it up in France it's to get away from everything going on in Britain. On top of that, we'd be able to keep up with the news a little better through the twins."

It sounded good on the surface, I guess. I liked the idea of James not being tied to me at all, so Stillens wouldn't have a reason to hurt him. But no one would actually buy that he'd turned his back on the DA, would they? Not when the Potters were so close, and Mrs. Potter and Albus and Lily were so clearly supportive of the DA. I shook my head. "What about your family? No one's going to believe this, even if they try to act like they're upset with you."

James looked away, his expression growing more serious. "That's the hard part. They're not going to be acting."

"What?"

"I've got to make them believe it, too. The entire DA. I don't want to chance some spy finding out that I've been faking it and ruin my credibility. Even worse, they might start to wonder what I really have been up to, if the partying in France has just been a ruse. That might lead them to you, which I don't want happening." He paused, seeming to be looking for the right words. After a moment, he set his jaw. "I'm going to have to make them hate me. Make them think I've turned my back on everything. That's the only way it'll work."

I stared at him for a moment. That was entirely ridiculous, wasn't it? Going that deep undercover? Would he be able to keep it up if Albus or Lily, or God forbid his mum tried to come to France and talk him out of it? I thought even a strongly worded owl might dissuade him, honestly. James cared about his family too much to hurt them like that, didn't he?

It was a good idea. If he could pull it off. A cruel one, even worse than what we were doing now. The Potters and our friends might never fully understand, or forgive him. We were in a war, for Merlin's sake. They might get killed without ever knowing the truth. When I looked over at James, though, I got the feeling that he'd thought of all those things. He seemed resigned to it. I closed my eyes for a moment, then nodded. "If that's what you want to do, I think it's a good idea."

"Do you actually?" I nodded, and he gave me a small, unsure smile. "Do you think it would actually work?"

"Depends, I guess." I shrugged. "Probably. If you went head to head with Stillens, of course, he'd be able to see into your head and know it was all a lie. If you really committed to it, though, you might convince most other people."

"And... you think I'd have to convince my family, too?"

His eyes were begging me to tell him he was wrong, that Lily and Albus and his mum were good enough actors to pull up the anger they'd need without actually feeling it. His mum was, probably. Lily, maybe. But I knew Albus was a horrible liar. He'd only gotten by with knowing Wren was a spy because he'd never had to pretend she was something she wasn't, and Poppy had been too polite to pry. He wouldn't be able to pull it off. He'd give everything away. And I hated that that was true, but it was. I looked down with a sigh. "I think so, yeah."

James nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Okay." He nudged me with his arm, and I smiled in spite of myself. "Thanks."

"Of course."

"I'm going to hate partying, by the way. Please don't be jealous."

I chuckled. "Too late."

We rounded a corner in the road, and James grinned. "There's the village!"

It wasn't much of one. I raised an eyebrow as we walked down the one paved road in the town. A few dirt roads branched off from the main one, leading to small houses with low stone walls separating them from the road. I could hear chickens clucking. All two dozen or so of the buildings had thatched roofs, giving the whole place a very quaint, cottagey feel. Having lived most of my life in the suburbs, then at least in a respectably modern house outside a decent-sized town, I was unimpressed.

James had pulled his phone out, and was squinting at the screen. "It says we're looking 6 Carmichael Avenue, but I don't see any road signs?"

"Might be easier to just look for the truck," I suggested. "Show me the picture again?"

He handed the phone to me, and I was greeted with a beat-up white truck that looked like it was older than me. I rolled my eyes and James pretended not to notice. We'd already argued about whether this particular truck was an absolute waste of money (my bet was that it wouldn't even run), but James claimed that he'd be able to fix any problems it had with magic.

Besides, it was the only car for sale in the area, and we hadn't felt comfortable flooing to Diagon Alley. Hogsmeade was already pretty conspicuous, but at least it wasn't crawling with Ministry workers and Prophet employees. We'd have to make do with the crappy old truck.

James pointed down the street we were passing. "I think that's it, maybe?"

I glanced in the direction he was pointing and suppressed a groan. There was a white truck parking in front of one of the cottages, and it was definitely the one from the picture. It looked like the picture had been taken several years ago, though, because the truck we were approaching now looked far rustier and far less sturdy. James nudged me in the side, grinning. "Aren't you excited?"

"You're excited?"

"I've never bought a car before, Astra."

I rolled my eyes. "That's obvious. You're about to get scammed, James. Maybe we should just try to find another one."

"It's only £800," James argued. "As long as it turns on, I'd say we're getting our money's worth."

It turned on, unfortunately. The only man we bought it from seemed a little mad and overly excited to get it off his hands. James was also overly excited to start the truck, and waved happily at the old man as we drove away. I sank down as low as I could in the passenger seat and avoided eye contact.

After we'd been driving for about twenty minutes and left the sad little village far behind us, the truck was doing surprisingly well. Sure, the window didn't roll up all the way, and we'd found out pretty quickly that the air conditioner didn't work, and the radio was broken so we could only listen to an old gospel CD that had been left in the CD player, but I supposed it was running. Of course, James had also assured me that he'd nicked a few books on charming cars from his grandma's house, ones that his grandpa had used, so we'd be good even if it did break down. I kept my reservations to myself.

"Hate to say it, but I told you this was a great idea," James said, patting the steering wheel of the car. "I can drive really well—"

"Sure, when there's literally no other cars on the road, you're doing fine," I said, rolling my eyes.

"—And the truck is running perfectly—"

"Not sure I would call this running perfectly."

"—And everything's going to be great!" James grinned at me, and I couldn't tell if he had actually tuned out what I'd said or was simply choosing to ignore it. "Just think, we could have Wren safe by Christmas. Wouldn't that be fantastic?"

"Yeah, it would be," I said glumly, shifting so I was looking out the window instead of at his face. He was being too optimistic, and I didn't want to get my hopes up like that. It was like he didn't understand what we were actually committing to. Did he not realize the danger we were in? The danger he was in, just by being near me? "I hope you're taking all this seriously."

In a much more subdued tone, he said, "I am, Astra. I know this is all really dangerous, okay?"

"Do you?" I glared at the window, as if he could see my expression. "You haven't faced Stillens, James. It's terrifying. Not something to joke about, or take lightly. There's a very good chance we're going to both end up dead, or hurt." I swallowed, because suddenly there was a lump in my throat. "Maybe you shouldn't be here."

There was a pause. When he finally answered, it was in a tone that stung a little. Not because he was snapping at me, but because he seemed hurt. "I'm fully aware of everything that could go wrong. That's why I want to be here. I don't want you to face that alone."

I bit my lip. "Maybe I should. Maybe that's the right thing to do. I don't want to drag you into something that'll get you hurt."

He sighed. "Astra, look at me." Grudgingly, I did. He spared a quick glance from the road to give me a very serious look. "I know what could happen, okay? I wasn't there that night, but I could hear everything. I know exactly what Stillens in capable of, and I know the two of us aren't any kind of match for him head on. I'm fully prepared to get hurt. I just don't want you to be by yourself, okay? You're not dragging me anywhere. If anything, you'd have to drag me away if you wanted me to leave."

I wanted to cry, but I wasn't sure if it was what James had said or simply the overwhelming urge that had been hovering over me like a shadow for days now, that made me want to cry at nearly anything. For a moment, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, told myself to calm down. When I opened them again, I managed a smile. "Thanks."

"Sure thing." James smiled, too, and he shot me another glance. "I care about you, you know. I want to make sure you're not running off to get yourself killed by yourself."

"You're just running off to get killed with me?"

"Something like that."

I glanced back out the window, feeling less angsty now than I had before. "Cool. Right." I tapped my fingers against the door for a minute. "Maybe we could do without the ridiculous optimism, pretending-we're-on-holiday sort of thing, at least? It's a little annoying."

"Ridiculous optimism?" James asked in mock indignation. "I don't know what you mean." I raised an eyebrow at him, and his shocked expression melted into a grin. "Yeah. I can do that. Sorry. Focusing on the good things that could happen keeps me from being consumed by all the horrible ways things could go wrong, you know? I'll try to stop being so overwhelming with it, though, if that helps."

"Thanks." I smiled softly at the window.

Honestly, this truck wasn't that bad.

~~~~

We stayed in a hotel in some small town in Scotland that night. When I came out of the bathroom, I found James sitting on his bed, Wren's old mirror cupped in his hands, closed. He jumped when I said his name and hastily shoved the mirror into his bag. When he didn't offer an explanation, I decided not to pry. It couldn't hurt for him to have something he felt like connected him to her, right?

When we got up the next morning, James apparated off for a few hours to go to France and start his ruse. I messed around with his phone while he was gone, and after half an hour finally managed to figure out how to set up an account on River's favorite streaming service so I could watch a show she'd been begging me to watch for years. It was weird how quickly all these muggle technology things had become foreign to me. It had only been four years since I'd left the Lewises for good, and sure, I hadn't had my own phone or anything, but I at least felt like I'd known how to use one. Yeah, I could call and text people, video chat, do basic things, but streaming services and social media were a mystery to me. There was so much pop culture that I'd missed out on, too; not a single one of the shows or movies I saw on the home page were recognizable to me. Percy Jackson was the closest, but it was a TV show now? Since when? And why were there so many superheroes?

James came back, arms full of chocolates and a letter for me from the the Dubois twins. He said they were incredibly sad I hadn't been able to come see them, too. They were sworn to secrecy and had promised to protect our plan with their lives (they were still incredibly dramatic, James said). Their letter was full of encouragement, an offer to come stay at their house in the country any time I needed (it was far enough away from their neighbors that no one would notice my presence), and gushing about how incredibly romantic it was that James was going to such great lengths to rescue his girlfriend. James flushed red at that part, and sheepishly told me that that had only been one of the reasons he'd mentioned for why we were going off on our own, and it hadn't even been the main reason. I didn't press it, because I was pretty sure it was the main reason whether he would admit it to himself or not. I was grateful enough to have him here that I didn't really mind. 

~~~~

I broke down and made a new cover, if you didn't notice. I just really wasn't vibing with the old one. A lot of you guys pointed out that it didn't fit the theme before, and I hadn't really been thinking about the theme of the series covers as a whole, just this one book. This time around, I tried to match something of the style of the rest of the series, and I think I pulled it off a little better? Maybe? Color and style-wise, it feels like a call-back to Star of Gryffindor to me, and the font is what I used for We Will Shine. Anyway, what are your thoughts on the new one?

Question of the Day: Who is your favorite marauder, and why?

Answer: I've always been a huge James fan, honestly. Partly because James is one of my favorite names of all time (like I would 100% name a child James if I had a child), but mostly because he's just like such a cool person? Like, heck, the man faced Voldemort down alone, without a wand, because he loved his wife and child so much and wanted to give them a chance to live. He was a bit rude as a kid (only to literal wizards nazis, but I digress), but he grew into a very respectful, courageous, mature young man. I literally would die for James Potter I. Also for my James, of course, but this question wasn't about him.

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 3056