~Albus~

Something felt different when I woke up, but I couldn't tell what it was. Maybe I'd had another bad dream. They'd been happening so often that they'd all started to run together, these days. Wren, my dad, all those children. Misery had become so normal than it had almost become mundane, too. Which I hated, but there wasn't a lot I could do about it.

I sat up, yawning and blinking in the morning light. Now that I thought about it, there seemed like there was a lot of commotion downstairs, which was a little weird. The house had been deadly quiet and empty for the past week, despite the fact that there were four people living here. We'd all been wandering around in a daze, it felt like. Who on earth was banging around in the kitchen this morning?

"Albus!"

I frowned. That sounded like Colette. What was she doing here? She seemed kind of angry, too. I poked my head out my bedroom door to see Lily looking back at me from across the hall, equally confused.

"Albus Severus Potter!"

It definitely was Colette. Something was wrong, too; she'd never used my full name before. I threw my door open and hurried downstairs. She collided into me at the doorway to the kitchen. "Hey, what's—"

Colette grabbed my shoulders. Her eyes were wide, wild, frantic. "Where's James?"

I felt a chill go down my spine. "James? Uh... Upstairs, I think?"

"Are you sure? Have you seen him today?"

I shook my head slowly. "What's going on?"

Colette had already torn past me, though, and was halfway up the steps. I hurried after, just in time to see her fling James's door open to reveal a perfectly made bed and no sign of my brother. Colette froze in the doorway, then slowly turned to me, blinking. I couldn't tell if she was in shock, or trying to keep from crying. "Albus... they're gone."

"They..." I trailed off as she held a letter up. Slowly, I crossed the hall to take it. It was in Astra's handwriting.

"James and Astra. They left us," she said softly as I scanned the letter. I'm sorry... It's for the best... We don't see another option... I didn't understand. I glanced up at Colette, hoping she could explain, but she looked... lost. Confused. Small. She shook her head, blinking much more quickly now. It had to be tears. 

Without really thinking about it, I hugged her. A second afterwards, I almost pulled back, sure she was going to shove me away, but she didn't. Instead, I felt her arms come around me, too. She was trembling. I probably would have been, too, if I wasn't so completely shocked. 

"What's going on?" 

Lily was cautiously approaching us from across the hall. Colette pulled away, and I pretended not to notice her wiping at her eyes. Instead, I focused on my sister. "I'm not sure, exactly." 

I held out the letter. Lily scanned it quickly, then glanced back up at us. "They're gone?" she whispered. "Why would they go?"

"Does it say where?" I took the letter back, reading it more closely. "We can probably find them, right?"

"I think they're going out of their way not to be found," Colette said. Her voice was much steadier now, almost matter-of-fact. Just a hint of sadness, hiding under frustration. 

Mrs. Tonks was downstairs, talking with Mum when we walked into the kitchen. "He didn't leave a note," she was saying, shaking her head. I felt a flare of anger, cutting through the shock. Of course he wouldn't leave a note. He wasn't thinking about us. Just himself.

"Do you think the DA can find them?" Mrs. Tonks asked. "I'm so worried that Astra's going to get hurt..." She shook her head. "She can't have thought this through."

"She did," Colette said, sitting down at the table. She wasn't looking at any of us. "When we were at Diagon Alley yesterday, she insisted on going to Gringotts. She wouldn't tell me why. And she and James have been writing each other nearly every day."

I blinked. Astra hadn't written me once since we'd got back from school. I hadn't thought that much of it, since it had only been a week and I'd just assumed she'd been too overwhelmed to reply, but apparently that wasn't it. Oh. 

"Why would they leave?" Lily asked softly, leaning against Mum. "Where would they go?"

Mum was stroking Lily's hair, but her expression was hard. "I don't know that they went anywhere in particular, Lily. And I'm not sure the DA will be able to find them." 

"What do you mean, they didn't go anywhere?" I sat down next to Colette with a huff. "They're gone, aren't they?"

"Al, you know that's not what I meant." She sighed. "They're obviously trying to go into hiding, on their own terms. I expect they think they're keeping us safe."

"How on earth would that be keeping us safe?"

Mum gave me a very annoying look that mums are good at, the kind where you can tell they're kind of patiently pitying you for not understanding. "You saw what Stillens did, Albus. You heard what he said. He hurt Wren, he threatened you, and he told Astra it was because of her. Even if we know that it's not her fault, she probably doesn't see it that way."

"So she thinks the answer is running away?" Colette asked incredulously.

"As opposed to possibly hurting you two more?" Mum shrugged sadly. "Probably. I don't know. She probably thinks that the best way to protect you is to take herself out of the picture."

"That's so selfish," Colette snapped. 

"I doubt they're trying to be," Mum answered. 

"Doesn't change the fact that it is," I muttered. Colette nodded darkly. I don't know if Mum heard me or not, but she didn't answer. She and Mrs. Tonks started discussing what could be done (shockingly, not much). Colette and I exchanged a glance, then got up and walked outside. 

For a couple of minutes, we just walked around the garden in silence, each stewing in our own thoughts. My initial shock was rapidly giving way to anger, actual anger. I hadn't been this angry at Astra since she'd caused James and Wren to break up, and I hadn't been this angry at James... well, I don't think I'd been this angry at James ever. 

Even if Astra was right, and her leaving would protect us, it didn't make it okay to leave us behind. How could she do that to me? After everything we'd been through. After I'd caused so many horrible things at the manor. After somehow miraculously making it out of that alive, together, having lost so much... she just left? And took my bloody brother?

And James was far worse. At least I could explain away Astra running off on her being emotionally overwhelmed and confused, even if I was upset about it. But James? Why had he encouraged that? Why had he agreed? He was absolutely stupid, of course, but also the most selfish person in the world. It was clear why he would make sure he ran off with her, and didn't tell anyone else. He wanted to be the hero, swoop in and save the day and rescue Wren. This wasn't a bloody fairytale! Real life didn't work like that! He was being reckless and stupid and even if he told himself he was protecting us, deep down he had to know that wasn't true. Out of all the people in the world, I would've thought he'd understand that I couldn't stand losing anyone else right now. A third of our family was gone, and he selfishly decided to make us lose him, too. 

"I still can't understand," Colette said, breaking the silence. "What were they thinking?"

"Trying to protect us?" I suggested dully.

"But to not tell us?" Colette shook her head. "I mean, I could see them not telling me, but why wouldn't Astra tell you?"

I could think of many reasons why Astra wouldn't tell me. Three weeks ago, I'd told her I'd been in love with her until last October. I'd been the driving force behind the most idiotic plan of all time. She'd thought I wouldn't want to come, I would tell someone, I would try to stop her. I stopped to frown at Colette, though. "What do you, you could see them not telling you?"

She stared at me for a second. "I... I mean, just that... well, you and Astra are best friends. And James is your brother. I know you're all kind of closer to each other than me..."

Was she out of her mind? I nearly laughed, but she looked completely serious (and a little embarrassed). I pursed my lips. "Colette, Astra literally thinks you're her sister. She would tell you just about anything before she told me. All that seer stuff? Cassie? The only reason we didn't tell you about the manor plan was because it was my idea, and I knew you'd shoot us down. In general, I think Astra tells you a lot more than she tells me." 

Colette seemed unconvinced, but just sighed. "This isn't worth arguing about."

"No," I echoed.

"The fact is, they left us." She hesitated, closing her eyes and balling her hands into fists, then released the tension. "I don't get it."

"They're idiots."

"Obviously." She rolled her eyes, then the spark seemed to sizzle out from her expression. "I just... Astra told me she wouldn't leave me alone again."

"Again?" My eyes widened with realization as the word left my mouth and Colette flinched and looked down. "Oh. Welling." I reached out to put my hand on her arm, but she pulled back. I awkwardly let my hand fall. "I'm sorry. Really. For that. All of it."

She shook her head stiffly. "It's fine. You thought I was working for Stillens. I was never angry about it."

"But it still was horrible of us. Of me. And horrible for you."

After a second, she nodded, still looking out at the distance instead of at me. "But it's fine."

I hesitated. Colette was processing this in a completely different way than I was, connecting it to experiences I couldn't begin to imagine. I couldn't remember ever having a deep conversation with her before, honestly. What was I supposed to do? What was I supposed to say? I knew how to get through to Wren really well. I could normally comfort Astra all right, as well as James and Poppy, of course. But Colette? She'd always been something of a mystery to me. We'd been friends for over four years now, but I still couldn't tell what she was thinking. I didn't know how her mind worked, what would cheer her up and what would make her shut down. 

I closed my eyes, praying I wasn't about to get punched in the face. "Colette, I have no idea why she left. I'm really angry at her for it. You have every right to be, too. It was a sucky thing for them to do. But you're not alone."

I braced myself to get hit, or cursed, or both, but nothing came. Colette hesitated, then glanced at me. I took the fact that I was still capable of speaking and not tongueless, or bleeding, or a frog, as an invitation to go on. "They left us both. So we're going to get through it together, okay? I promise."

Colette smiled a little. I tried not to look as shocked as I felt that that had worked, and just smiled back, but she chuckled at me anyway. "Thanks, Al. Not that I'm glad you got left behind, of course, but I'm glad you're here."

"Likewise." I could feel my face flushing at the equivalent of Colette gushing with emotion and friendshipy feelings. Had she ever said anything like that to me before? I couldn't remember. I thrived off of validation, verbal affirmation, so even though I knew Colette wasn't one for being vulnerable and telling people how much they meant to her, I'd always been a little nervous that she didn't like me that much. I guess I was wrong. Not the circumstances I would've picked to find that out, of course, but I'd take what I could get today. 

Colette had grown thoughtful again. "There's not anything we can do, is there?"

I wanted to chase after them, figure out where they'd gone and either go with them or drag them back. But I was sure they expected that. They'd probably planned for it. And it might actually put them both in more danger than they'd already gotten themselves in, put even more of a target on their heads. I sighed. "It would be really dumb to go after them, wouldn't it?"

She nodded, her expression dark. "I'm almost angry enough to not care."

For a moment, I just blinked at her. Not that I was surprised she was angry, because I was, too. More that she was normally the logical one, not the impulsive running-off-to-do-something-stupid-because-she's-upset one. I hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Yeah. Me too."

She glanced at me, and honestly if she had asked me to drop everything and find them right then, I would've said okay. I would've left everything else behind if we could just go after James and Astra, not be the ones left here. If we could both agree to do it despite the stupidity, I would.

But Colette sighed. "I couldn't do that to Mrs. Tonks."

Mrs. Tonks. Mum, and Lily. If we left, we'd be leaving them, too. Right after Astra and James. Making it so much worse. Wow, life would be easier if I didn't have obligations to the people I cared about. Or if I could just throw those to the wind and go about my merry way, like James and Astra, without concern for how it might affect anyone else. 

But I couldn't do that. And neither could Colette, it seemed. 

I balled my hand into a fist, feeling a sudden desire to punch something, if only there had been anything around other than my friend. "This is so stupid," I snapped. "They're selfish, and horrible, and cruel, and absolutely the worst."

Colette just nodded heavily. "Yeah."

"I hate them."

She gave me a surprised look, but finally nodded again. "Understandable."

"I never want to see them again."

She shrugged. "A little harsh, but sure. Yeah."

As quickly as the anger had come, I deflated. My hand was still clenched, trembling a little, and I blinked quickly. "I... just... what do we do?"

It took a second for her to answer. She sighed heavily, looking out over the garden as if she wasn't really seeing it. "I wish I knew," she said softly. She glanced back at me, eyes troubled. "I really wish I knew."

~~~~

The next few weeks, Lily and I went over to Mrs. Tonks' house nearly every day. This was mostly to see Colette, but partly for plausible deniability if anyone asked us what exactly it was that our mum was doing all day. We could just say "grieving," and not be asked more. How were we supposed to know she's actually off helping run the DA? We weren't even at home. The plan was for Mum to go into hiding as soon as we left for school. What would happen after that, I wasn't entirely sure. I think that originally Mum was thinking that James would going to take over the house and whatever legal things there were with Lily's and my only legal guardian "abandoning" us. Now that he was gone, I wasn't sure how that would all work out. I couldn't find the energy to worry about it that much. 

We spent a lot of time doing nothing. Colette had gotten hold of a muggle smart phone, so sometimes we would try to figure out how it worked (the internet was much more vast and overwhelming than Poppy and Astra had ever told me). Poppy was in Ireland with her grandmother for the summer, but wrote us instructions on how to video chat with her on Colette's phone, so two or three times a week we would call her and talk for several hours. It was the highlight of my week, honestly, since Lily and Colette and I were completely incapable of getting our minds off anything on our own, no matter how much we tried. Luckily, Poppy always had a lot to talk about, and if she ran out of things she could find Jack and ask him what video games he was into at the moment.  

Haverna had given her the briefest possible explanation at the end of the school year about Wren, just so we would be able to explain everything that had gone into actually rescuing Jack. Because of that, she always had questions about the DA, if we felt up to answering them. Unfortunately, so many of those had to do with my dad, or Wren, and we could never handle that for too long. Luckily, I think Ciara Malfoy was answering many of those questions, too.

Scorpius and Ciara sent letters pretty regularly. Except for one highly confused and slightly depressed letter after Astra disappeared, Scorpius's were generally cheery and obviously meant to distract and entertain, which I appreciated. I knew he didn't have the full story with Wren, of course, and couldn't really relate about my dad. He was doing his best to be a supportive friend anyway.

Ciara's letters were more encouraging. Though we didn't ever write about anything important, like the DA or Wren or even what had happened that night (there was always the chance that owls could be intercepted), I could tell she understood, at least part of it. She'd lost one of her best friends, too. So while our letters back and forth were generally full of mundane plans for the school year, discussing which prefects should patrol together and if we knew anything about the new fifth years, there was a bit of a deeper understanding under the surface. 

Sometimes it hit me that I was exchanging letters with Ciara Malfoy, who was now one of my closest friends. By default, partly, but I suspected she would've been anyway even if nothing had happened, simply because she and Wren had become one of Wren's best friends. Me and Ciara Malfoy, being friends? Wren Predatel and Ciara Malfoy, being best friends? I would've laughed if someone had told me that this would happen six months before. What a strange world. 

Lily's friends came to hang out with us at least once a week, including Elmer, who liked to corner me and ask for relationship advice. That was very annoying and awkward, considering this was advice about how to get with my sister, and if it had been literally anyone else I wouldn't have put up with it. Colette generally didn't put up with it; if Elmer started to get on her nerves, she'd announce that the two of us were going to Diagon Alley and we weren't interested in babysitting, so they'd better not follow. 

At the beginning of August, I got an owl from Kimmel saying that she wanted to discuss the year with Ciara and I before school started. Colette agreed to tag along as far as Hogsmeade, and I invited Poppy to come hang out with us for the day there, too. With Scorpius and Ciara it would practically be a party. I was looking forward to it, honestly. There wasn't much else to look forward to in my life at the moment. Sure, most of my best friends were gone, but these were my friends too. I supposed we were going to have to get used to this being normal.

~~~~

Wow, was this shocking or what?

Honestly, I've been debating back and forth between adding Albus's POV to this book since the beginning of We Will Shine. I knew this book would take Wren and Astra in different directions, and I wanted it to take Albus somewhere else, too, but I couldn't decide if that would be best served by him having his own POV or not. Clearly, I finally decided yes. Part of that may have just been the overwhelming love Albus has been getting over the past few months. Especially with recent readers, he seems to be a crowd favorite, so I thought at the very least, most people might be happy to see his side of things.

Question of the Day: What do you think about this choice?

Answer: I mean, I like it. Don't worry; I'm not going too crazy. Colette and James and everyone else won't be getting POVs. Three is more than enough to juggle. Hopefully, I'll be able to really get settled in Albus's voice soon and there will be three distinct voices in these pages, to make it a little less confusing.

Vote and comment!

~Elli

Word count: 3327