Liten Vampyr POV

I clung to him, like a distraught mother would cling to her beloved child-holding him tightly in my arms, desperately close to my chest. His cold lifeless body swayed with each passing current. He wasn't my child, he was my friend, the person who many years ago reunited me with humanity and now he's gone.

My precious, beautiful Little Viking's body is now bloated and pale; just an empty shell.

I kissed him on the forehead, then let him go as I watched him slowly sink to the bottom of the dark cloudy seabed, to be nibbled on by crabs amongst the seaweed. Then I did what I always do - I ran away, or in this case, swam away.

I should have resurfaced and swam to Oscar, held him in my arms as he cried. I should of given him some comfort in his darkest moment, but instead I left, too wrapped up in my own crippling pain.

One of the blessings of not needing to breath is that I didn't have to rise to top of the crashing waves and watch Oscar's heart break or his tears fall.

I thought the further I swam the easier it would be, the less it would hurt. But you can't out-swim grief.

It was almost like an invisible tie that was pulling me back, the harder I swam, pushing through the undercurrents, the tighter the pull.

Even when I reached the pebbly beach and crawled onto the stones of Isle Sheppey, that dug and tore at my knees, I still felt this pull- as if a piece of string had been wrapped and tied around my heart, it's pull was so strong I was sure my black rotten-dead heart would be ripped out of my chest and dragged back into the crashing waves.

The ache was unbearable, almost torturous.
I told myself it was grief.
I told myself it would pass, like all the pain I've known over the years in my long, agonising life. But deep down in my heart, I knew what it really was.

It was guilt. Gut-wrenching, soul-destroying guilt. The guilt of knowing I'd left Oscar behind when he needed me.

How could I have done that? If it wasn't for Lucas' bravery and unrelenting compassion I would not have been here today and how do I repay him, honour his memory? I leave his only son, alone and broken on that cold wind-whipped beach when he needed me the most. It was easier for me to slink away into the darkness and shadows to bury all my emotions than to stay with Oscar and allow myself to feel.

I truly am a monster.

Lucas didn't leave me in my hour of need and I won't leave Oscar, i must go back.
I can't undo what I've done but I need to try at the very least to make it better. I will go back to watch over Oscar from a distance just to make sure he will be okay; when I know for sure he will be alright, I will leave and never bother him again.