*Silver's P.O.V*

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the house is boring without the guys.

First, my brother left, and then Leo took Harry away, leaving me to dog-sit. At least, it won't abandon me.

"Right, Takie?" I rub its fur vigorously. After feeding the dog, I walk around in my underwear till the sun comes up for me to binge-watch a soap opera. Only upon hearing some commotion do I get up again.

Outside, the sun shines over a strange brunette in a halter top arguing with herself. Curiously, I wave at her, and she points to the gate.

"Ya, you can't come in unless you are in the system."

"Hi," she quirks anyway. Her freckles and bouncy locks make her seem harmless, but I know better. Strutting until my nose is tipped an iron away from her, I ask why she's here.

"I'm looking for a guy - him -" On her screen appears Harry's Tiktok account.

I chuckle, "he has travelled."

"Wow. Everyone seems to be travelling," she teeters.

When six seconds of awkwardness prove I won't share her humour, she adds, "I'm Pameline. Can you let him know I came here?"

"Sure."

*

I didn't. When I called my brother, Harry was on the line, but I forgot to mention Pameline  - my mind was more focused on getting the gist that is Charlie's cohabitation with a woman. Harry tells me that it may not be for long, though, as Charlie is considering moving out. He says my brother prefers to stay at the hotel with them because emotions are strained between him and Monet.

That's unfortunate. I was excited to see him get closer to the once-super-kid-model. What a missed opportunity - someone needs to teach my brother some game.

Anyway, back to me. I'm working g now while keeping an eye out for the entrance in case Jamiel comes. He doesn't. I had food packed for him already, and it's enough to go by for a month, so why is he not here?

After finishing my shift, I drive to his place and call him. Before I can even say A, he bursts, "Sil, I'm really busy right now!"

"Oh, sorry." I sound clumsy. He mutters something, probably not directed towards me, and cuts the line.

At least the house seems open, so there should be someone around. I off the engine and grab the basket of goodies only to see Jamiel on his porch.

He looks forlorn as he tucks his hands in his jeans before walking in the opposite direction.

He sounded urgent, a stark constant to the relaxed gait of his retreating figure. As soon as he enters a taxi, I spark the engine. Following him isn't how I planned my day, though I'm adept at spy stuff. Days of creeping up on juvie mates have taught me well.

When he gets off new a bridge, still oblivious to me, I call him. Again, he tells me he's busy. I let it slide, ending the call while observing his sigh.

Going further up the bridge, he halts to sit his phone on the ground.

What is this, Jamiel? What are you doing -

He jumps.

He freaking jumps over the railing.

My breath hitches at the sound of water splashing from beneath.

"Jamiel?!" I yell, already out of the car.

"Jamiel?!!!! Oh dear, he knows how to swim, right? Yes... Wait, huh? Right?" I ask the wind, though it slaps me in response.

I look down and wince; if he doesn't know how to swim...

I am panting from just climbing over the railing in this ironically cold weather. Fear and uncertainty threaten to rip off my heart as more wind blows through my clothes. But I won't succumb to them, not when his life can be at risk. I take a deep breath and jump. The lake swallows me whole. In a matter of gulps, I break its surface. My eyes sting, yet they snap to the hair peeking from a distance, bulged out of their sockets like lightning struck me.

"Jamiel!!!"

He doesn't respond; he surfaces, blinks, and in a blink, pulls me much to my consternation.

I am about scolding him once we're on land, but his pants just dissolve my resolve into worry.

"What is wrong with you?!"

"Why are you here?"

"Answer my question first, Jamiel. Ho-how can you do this?!"

There's a pause that halts him in his tracks.

Then, he quirks, "Do what? I was going for a swim."

Huh?

"Anyway, let's go..."

Words vacate my brain our entire ride back to his house.

*

Sun rises on my uncertainty.

Jamiel, in hopes of lightening my mood, makes toast. I decline it only for him to shoot me the stink eye he was giving his siblings for leaving for school without greeting us.

And - yes, I spent the night to be sure he's alright. My qualms remain. Was he really going for a swim, just like that?

I down two toasts and some juice to appease him. He smiles smugly and hits the hay again.

Two hours later, he starts snoring. This lad.

"Sleeping ugly," I chuckle. Muffled, incoherent nothings flow from his lips.

"What?"

"Mmgrgf."

"What are you saying, Jamiel?" I crouch beside his head.

His eyes flutter. "Why are you still here?"

"My shift doesn't start yet."

"You should go." He slaps a hand over mine. "You should really go, Sil. Stop wasting yourself away."

"I'm not wasting myself."

"Yes, you are," he contends, "you could be so much better -"

"Your breath stinks."

"Huh?"

I iterate, "your breath stinks," and grab his arms. Protesting, he pulls me closer, mumbling, "You could be better," like some maniac. Then, he stops and looks right into my eyes.

I don't like this. I prefer him spewing malarkey than reading meaning into my silence. He's the one acting weird, asking me not to waste myself and whatnot as if that makes sense.

Why should I feel scrutinised? Rattled for a moment, I recover by rotating my ankles to yelp, "Aw!"

"Oh, what?" He rises.

"My ankle!"

"Oh crap, " Jamiel raps, "what do you need?"

"For you to take a goddamn shower and brush your teeth."

His hands flail. I smirk. He rolls his eyes and walks inside, "You are crazy, Sil. I was genuinely worried."

So am I for you. I think. As he disappears, I wonder what other reason he'd have to jump off a bridge.

When I called, he said he was going to work, then he said he was going for a swim when I caught him. 

He's definitely lying.

But - No. No, he wasn't trying to hurt himself. He's not like that.

I grab a paper and pen. Returning to the couch, I try to recall his facial expressions when he jumped off the bridge.

Jamiel... Hmm... What was your face like... What does it mean about what's going through your head...

*

As if on a twenty-minute cue, Jamiel emerges with his hair messy and damp, a look probably destined to swoon a zillion girls.

Meeting his blank gaze with positivity, I smirk. He smirks back, running a hand through his hair. I turn back to my paper, whereas he staggers around me.

"Are those lines or something? You've started acting?"

"I told you I'll have to get my act together first," I snort, showcasing the page my pencil tip is dancing on.

A frown cascades his face.
"Oh, you are drawing. What?"

I answer, "You."

"Hm. Fetching."

"Ya, you have the looks."

"No, " he chuckles," I am complimenting the drawing."

If you put my cheek beside a tomato right now, you won't see the difference. Fortunately, he doesn't notice this as his eyes go berserk over the paper.

"You make me look like a nice guy," a mumble rumbles from him.

"Well, you are a nice guy," I say. When I turn though, the look on his face breaks my cheeriness.

I know that look well. I saw it all those years ago, when he got beat up by the 'drug' seniors and three months before my arrest.

Three months before my arrest, he phoned me and I picked not because he was a crush, or that he was in a hospital - though that worried me most - but because he was hating on himself. He kept saying he was awful.

I gave him directions to Sydney's house and - oh my, the facial expression he had. It was like the entire world broke apart, falling on him, shredding him.

Seems like situations haven't changed between us - with me always worrying and wondering while he acts dejected.

Back to the past, luckily, Sydney had yet to return from her movie shooting - she stayed at a hotel for it - and Krypton was at Harry's. It was just me and Jamiel for two days, after which he had to leave because his pseudo family wanted him back. According to him, he got into an exchange program and overheard his pseudo family say they didn't want him. So he ran away only to get into an accident.

Of course, when he told me this, I had many misgivings. I didn't want to push him away, though. I went along with it.

Not long after he left, Krypton returned with groceries, screaming, "Sydney is coming!"
  
Instantly, we went sibling-cleanup mode. It didn't help that Jamiel left Krypton's room in a mess, but my brother barely noticed. Krypton just kept cleaning and cleaning, and I was just like, "bruv, chill. Syd isn't like dad. She won't care so much."

"Did you eat all the bread?"

No, Jamiel. "Yes."

"And why are there boy clothes that aren't mine, in my room?"

"Urr-" I scratched my head. "They're mine! I'm a tomboy, you know."

That was when I nearly blew my cover. My brother furrowed his brows as if to say, 'In what world?'

"Seriously, I am!" I desperately grabbed onto something pink. "In fact, I hate this colour. Ugh-"

"Hey, don't throw your earmuffs! Sydney spent a lot to get them. If you don't want the muffs, give them to me." He wore it with a look of disbelief more about my audacity to break the muffs than Jamiel's clothes.

Then, we heard Sydney's car. Keys started to jingle, and we watched as our mother walked in with a strange guy, laughing. We stood still, Krypton with my earmuffs and me with arms folded. The guy noticed me first, so I greeted cheerily, much to Sydney's annoyance.

"Hi! Krypton, say hi."

"Ur, hi?" He awkwardly dragged us into his room, where we waited by the door to hear what Syd would say. Our beloved mother confessed that we were her kids, just to kick the guy out afterwards. The next day, we had an odd breakfast of oatmeal and hushed glances, mostly aimed at Syd.

"Ok, enough of this." I flipped my spoon. "Syd, we are sorry for ruining your chance at having sex with that guy. What is his name?"

Syd's eyes widened. Krypton facepalmed. There's a pause.

"His name is Berry," Syd finally said. When she added his last name, I stood up and started clapping.

"Sil, sit your tiny butt back down and finish your food."

"Oh," I hooted.

A confused Krypton looked between us before settling on not caring.

*

Berry was strange. I started to realise that when Syd brought him over again. They were working in the dining hall while I eavesdropped.

"Sil, stop." Krypton scolded. My response was, "Wait until he becomes our stepdad and start to realise how dump we were for letting things get so far."

"What?" He grimaced. "What are you even talking about? He just works with her."

"But she's brought him over. Twice!" I stressed. "Don't you think it's more than just work?"

"Why do you dislike him so?" Krypton asked. I didn't know, so I went with his appearance as defence. "He's too short and too quirky. He's literally the opposite of dad. And his beard looks like he auditioned for a serial killer show."

"Oh, Sil."

"It's true!" I shouted. Fortunately, Syd didn't hear, but the guy did. I could tell when he threw me a nervous smile on his way out.

From then on, whenever Berry came over, he had a weird face for me. He saw me as a baby who needed entertaining, when really I needed freedom to go visit Jamiel. Syd didn't let us out much. Even Krypton hardly got chances to meet his mate.

Syd started to act a little overprotective because of rumours of kidnappings and thugs in the state. I understood her, but I wanted to see Jamiel so bad that I asked Krypton to beg for me, to no avail.

"Look, kids, there's a lot of bad stuff happening on the news -"

"I wanna go out!" I screamed. After much convincing and screaming, Syd conceded, however, taking us to her movie sets. Again, it wasn't what I wanted, but I loved the experience just as much. I observed everything keenly until I spotted Berry in shiny clothing.

"Oh, it's you two." Berry crouched to our levels since we were seated. Unsure of how to respond, Krypton turned to me.

I blinked. "Ya, we are just popping in to watch Syd a bit. This set is fantastic. I can't wait to become an actress and work like this in the future. "

"Future?" replied Berry. "Why wait? Why not now?"

*

Why not now? I agreed with him a hundred per cent. In fact, my mind changed about Berry. I took him as my mentor, bothering him at any chance I got. Krypton was the first to notice that, but he didn't worry so long as I didn't take things far. And by far, Krypton meant - " Don't go to his house. Don't talk to him in private. Don't do anything -"

"Bruv, I'm not ten," was what I said to shut him up. Sydney was the last person to find out only when I decided to audition for a small role in a film Berry suggested. Against my assumption, she was cool with it.

Thus, I got permission to go to Berry's villa, after which I sneaked over to Jamiel's place. Jamiel lived in a nice small house. There were no family pictures because, apparently, the family wasn't exactly fun-loving.

"Doesn't mean I don't like them," he said, "I'm just saying they are not exactly  fun... so you can't be here for long."

"You got a strict family? That sucks." I settled on a couch. Jamiel sat by me and ranted about his day before listening to my preparations for the auditions.

"You are going to be amazing."

"Oh, I know," I laughed. He said he had to use the restroom in a bit, so I waited quietly. Then I got up and started touching things - a lamppost, a chair, some books, some powder, some candles -  oh- hold up!

Powder? I wondered, Returning to the bag behind the books. I sniffed it and coughed.

That is not normal powder. What is that?