MUSIC: Head in the Clouds by Hayd

Clarey

The doorbell rang.

"Can somebody get the door, please?" Corey shouted from downstairs. I heard him perfectly fine. He did mention the word please, but still, he had taken laziness to a whole new level.

The doorbell rang again. And again. And again. I rolled my eyes as I angrily hopped out of my bed just wearing my denim shorts and my favorite gray tank top. As I hopped down the stairs, I saw my jerk ass of a brother sitting down on the couch reading his PlayStation magazine and munching loudly on his big bag of Pirate Booty popcorn.

"You're only a few steps away from the door, you little twerp," I walked to the door, my nose flaring. "I'm seriously telling mom."

"Hey, I did say please." My brother retorted. I wanted to chuck a book right at his head so he could snap out from being an ass all the time.

I opened the door to find a cute blue-eyed dark-haired fella standing in front of our doorstep, holding a bouquet of fresh white roses. I sneaked my head back inside the door and shouted, "Mom! Dad sent you flowers again!"

"Johnson, right? Clarissa Johnson?" The boy asked.

"Uh, yeah, that would be me," I said, looking at him suspiciously. He carefully handed me the flowers as well as the clipboard. "Why?"

"You go to Bonita Verde, right?" I nodded, and right there and then I just realized who he was. No wonder he looked familiar.

"Oh, my gosh," I squeaked. "Lehi Cortez?" I laughed and gave him a quick hug. He was my classmate from the first grade but he moved away so I haven't really seen him after all these years. He looked so cute and manly now compared to back then when he was such a dark, scrawny little kid with a bucktooth. "Wait, how did you know I go to Bonita Verde?"

"I've seen you a couple times there when I pick up my girlfriend, Libby Cooper. You probably know her."

"Oh, I see," I nodded as I admired the fresh white roses in my hands. "What school do you go to again?"

"Viento Vista." He smiled.

"Ugh, I hate you." I joked, reaching for the small white envelope that was placed in between the roses. Dad never failed to show his sweetness when it came to my mom. I began to wonder if I was ever going to meet a guy that's on the same level as my dad.

"I guess this Evan dude really loves you, huh?"

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Excuse me?"

"I knew Evan von Detten had the hots for you." The nosy little prick. I couldn't believe this.

"Don't you have any respect for people's privacy?" I rolled my eyes as I placed the small envelope back in the flowers. He scratched his head and simply shrugged. I never bothered saying anything else to Lehi. I was too busy thinking about what he just said. After signing the board, I slammed the door in his face and went straight to the garage. My heart pounded like crazy against my chest as I opened the small white envelope.

"I love you, CJ."

- Love always,
Evan

No way. I crumpled the note and stared at the flowers for a moment before throwing them inside our trash bin. That's the last thing I wanted from Evan.

A fucking bribe.

Who does he think he is anyway? As much as I loved white roses, I wasn't falling for it.

*

The next day was our school banner assembly. The gymnasium was packed. Our school had earned three banners so far. Two from the girls tennis team and one from the football team. I went closer to the front, and there I saw the whole football team hanging around with a few of the tennis players. Celia had her arm linked with Evan's while she whispered something in his ear. She wore her usual light blue and white one-piece tennis uniform, and her curled golden blonde hair was up in a ponytail.

It was really painful for me to see Evan and Celia together, but I mentally slapped myself in the face as a reminder that Evan was a player. He clearly has a girlfriend. Celia was a rich girl, not to mention, an heiress. She's athletic, beautiful, and a complete girly girl. She was a complete package. And every guy I knew would probably do anything they can just to be with her.

What do I have? Nothing. Zilch.

Yeah, sure, I do play football, but I'm certainly not on the team. I doubt that they even want me in either. I'm not beautiful nor hot because they all knew me as CJ the tomboy who easily got into fights and got sent to the principal's office once in a while. Okay, maybe once week.

What can I say? It's tough being me. Welcome to my life.

Celia has it so easy. If she only knew how Evan is one cheating son of a bitch, they'll separate for sure. She'll kick him the nuts and the rest will be history. I laughed at the thought of Celia kicking him. This whole retaliation thing was insane. All because I wanted to get back at Evan.

The whole student body cheered wildly as Masiela and Becca tumbled towards the center of the gym. Honestly, I wasn't impressed with their acrobatic skills.

"Go, Bonita Verde! We're number one! Wooooooooo!"

They did a toe touch jump and introduced the cheerleading squad to perform first. After the banners being dropped, the school band performed next. I moved way back near the exit door as the gym was getting really hot and stuffy. My ears were ringing from all the cheers of crazy teenagers. Someone brushed my elbow. I looked up to see Evan smiling at me with his beautiful green eyes. He was just... heart-stoppingly amazing. I tried to stop myself from looking at his eyes. I swear, the power of his gaze was enough to bring you down on your knees. No. These knees won't unbuckle today.

He lowered his head and whispered in my ear. "Hey, can we talk?"

I moved away from him. "No can do, buddy. I'm busy."

"Please? Just for a sec? I promise it won't take long."

I sighed and rolled my eyes. He's pestering me again. He just doesn't give up.

Oh, well.

The exit door slammed behind us. We sat at the end of the stair case. There was an awkward silence between us. I fiddled with my fingers while waiting for him to talk. My heart drummed frantically as he sat beside me, and all I could hear was the muffled music and cheers from outside and him swallowing hard.

"What's this about, Evan?" I asked him with my usual tact. "Make it quick, or else someone might catch us here. You know we're supposed to be at the assembly. Your girlfriend might be looking for you."

"Celia is not my girlfriend." He glared at me.

"Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that," I laughed. He took a deep breath then stood up in front of me, pinching the bridge of his nose. He's nervous about something, and I know that something is probably the "Confession bouquet" he just gave me. "What the heck are we doing here, Evan?"

He refused to respond so I quickly got up from my spot, and just as I was about to exit the door, he quickly grabbed a hold of my arm.

"CJ, wait," he finally conceded. "We really need to talk. Just give me a minute."

He pulled me closer to him, his hand still holding my arm. His touch warmed me to my toes. I averted my gaze from his wonderful pleading green eyes. Oh, my God, he's doing it again. He's luring me in. I can't let him win.

"Evan, I'm sorry," I pressed my lips together. "I just... I just don't feel the same way about you."

He slowly let go of me as soon as he heard my response. He shook his head, his face clearly in denial.

"Why are you trying so hard to hide your real feelings about me?" He said softly. His eyes were brimming with tears now.

My jaw dropped. "Evan, I don't feel the same way. How many times do I need to tell you that?"

"Yes, you do. I could feel it." He argued.

"No, you don't."

He dragged a hand through his hair. "Okay, remember that day when we both sneaked in that janitor's closet?"

I cringed at the memory when he brought it up. It was actually the first time I felt something weird for Evan. "Yeah, what about it?"

"Have you felt anything at all?" His voice fell to a whisper, like he was about to break down and cry. Although, he was already in tears, and just seeing him cry made my heart ache.

My face flushed as I looked away with my arms crossed over my chest. He's trying to catch me, and I'm fighting the urge to say yes. There was no way in hell that I was going to give in. This is what he clearly wanted.

"How about the time I almost kissed you at the pool from Lance's party? You thought I was drowning, so you went out your way just to save me. That means you fucking cared for me."

I cleared my throat. "Well, you were a complete asshole for doing that."

"How about that night at Roman's party?" He slowly pulled me by the waist, then lifted my chin with his fingers. I refused to look into his eyes. Once I do, that will be the end of me. It's almost like staring into the eyes of Medusa's snakes.

"CJ, look at me. Just... look at me, please." He pleaded.

"Get away from me, Evan."

He threw his hands up in the air and gave a sarcastic laugh. "Damn it, CJ. I know deep down you love me, too. Why the hell are you so afraid to say it?"

I shot him an indignant look. A hungry expression just crossed his face. He moved closer, pushing me gently to the wall before I could even plan my escape. Was he actually going to kiss me this time? The fear and anticipation suddenly draped over me. He slowly moved his face closer to mine, but he pressed his lips to my forehead instead. His warm kiss made me tingly all over.

At that moment, my emotions felt tugged in two opposite directions. He smelled incredibly good. The cool minty aroma of his breath relaxed me, and I didn't want the moment to end. Maybe Evan was right that Celia is not really his girlfriend. Or else, why would he deny it so easily? Maybe I should try it. Give in to temptation. Just once.

"You can... kiss me." I said, wrapping my arms around his neck. Evan's eyes looked desperate. He pushed me against the wall and held my neck with his warm hands. He started kissing me like there's no tomorrow. I immediately ran my fingers through his soft wavy hair. Feeling the softness of his lips against mine made the tingling reaction of my body to glide up.

I thought small sparks would ignite on our first kiss. Well, I guess I was wrong. Bigger sparks have ignited. To be honest, I don't really know where it came from.

He slightly pulled away, breaking the kiss, panting heavily against my mouth with his warm breath. He pressed his forehead to mine. "Now tell me you don't feel the same way."

"Evan, don't do this." I said softly.

His eyes slowly fluttered open. "Please, tell me you love me."

"No, Evan," I told him gently. His smile soon faded. "I don't love you. I—I love Trevor." The words escaped my lips before I could even stop them. What the hell was I thinking?

He turned around and quickly punched the exit door that made a loud noise that echoed throughout the whole staircase. "So, you love Trevor then," he said, looking grim. "I sort of suspected that."

"I'm sorry, Evan." Those were the only words I could think of. I wrapped my arms around myself.

He began pacing back and forth, cursing angrily under his breath. His gaze shifted back to me. His eyes were glazed with tears once again. "You love Trevor, but you just fucking kissed me. How do you explain that?"

I closed my eyes. He was right. If Trevor and I were really an item, I was a cheater indeed. But why couldn't I just bite the bullet and tell him the whole truth? I'm just as confused with my damn self.

His mouth opened but closed again. I knew he wanted to say more but he just stormed out. Drowning in guilt, I quietly sat back down on the steps, thinking about what I just did. My eyes stung, so I squeezed them shut to prevent the tears from flowing.

I could have told him that the feeling was mutual. But I wasn't giving up on my promise to get back at him. He hurt me many times in the past, and it was my turn to have the last laugh. Yes, revenge is sweet. But the thing is, lying to him was painful. I'm not quite sure how long I could go on with this stupid plan of mine.

The exit door suddenly opened and a gush of air entered.

"Clarey?" Sofie and Trish rushed to comfort me as soon as they saw me.

"How did you guys know I was here?" I swiped away the tears from my eyes, afraid they'll ask what happened to me. Obviously, they will.

Trish immediately took out a small pack of tissues from her black satchel and helped me wipe off my tear-streaked face. "Hurry up and get yourself together. Ms. Arlington had already sensed you missing. She's looking for you right now."

"We saw Evan stormed out of here so we figured you guys were together," Sofie explained. "He seemed very angry. Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head. There was no way my friends would ever know about this. What I meant is, me, being in love with Evan. It's either they would sabotage my plan on getting back at Evan or they would simply help me come up with a plan to hurt him more.

So, if they found out, they might hook me up with Evan if they ever knew we were deeply in love. The thing is, I'm not ready for that yet. Even though Evan is tall, tanned, and hot, my friends hate him with a freaking passion. I really wanted to hurt Evan. I wanted to beat him to the pulp. Brutal, I know. But there's this tiny voice inside me pleading to stop this nonsense.

Fuck. I hate my stupid heart. The beat-o-meter sucks! I wish it could just tell me if Evan was really in love with me or not, so I could get this over with. Save myself the humiliation, you know. I mean, what if Evan was just playing me all along? I'd be the laughing stock of Bonita Verde high. That is, if my plan would backfire on me.

That would be so fucked up.

He confessed he loved me. And today, he kissed me. Not just a regular smack on the lips, but a passionate one. I could still taste his minty lips.

"Is she okay?" My thought bubble popped as soon as I heard Trevor. He quickly wrapped his strong arms around me and scanned me if I was physically hurt.

I gently pushed him away, trying to bring a gap between us. Ever since Trevor asked to be a part of my so-called vengeance of mine, he was becoming too clingy lately. For some reason, it would just freak me out.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." I managed to utter.

We all slipped out to go back to the banner assembly that was about to end. We only had a few minutes left until we could all go back to our classrooms. We passed by the It crowd. Evan was leaning his back on the wall, glaring at us. As if on cue, I slipped my arm around Trevor's and plastered a fake smile as we walked past him.

A surge of emotion crossed Evan's dark face. It was heart wrenching. He looked really upset. Evan shifted his gaze somewhere else, pretending he didn't see a thing. I suddenly felt a twinge of pain inside me. I knew he was seriously hurt. If Evan was really falling for me, that would mean I had a greater chance of getting back at him.

"Let's go." Trevor said, smiling, putting an arm over my shoulder. l nervously looked up at Trevor, then back at Evan.

I can't fall in love with Evan. I just can't. I need to suck it up until the end.