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FLASHBACK: WINTER 2004. CORA, AGE 15

Cora often felt a great debt when it came to Shiv, though she was entirely sure where she had conjured the sentiment from.

For much of Cora's life, she had felt the same exasperation that was usually reserved for when one's flight was delayed or when it starts pouring down torrential rain without warning beforehand directed towards her. Her father had died when she was barely one, and while her both her parents had come from money, her mother had always seemed to resent Cora for being a constant reminder of the messiness of being a widow. Reagan Evans, after all, hated loose end and Cora was exactly that.

When Cora was 10 her mother met Frank Vernon, after having been introduced by Gerri at a work event and quickly he had won her affections.

He was a kind and patient man, over a decade her senior, who had been married to his job for so long that he had neglected much of his romantic life. He had taking a liking to Cora too, and he quickly began to look to her as a daughter. The couple married 8 months after meeting, at a reception in the Hamptons, and that had been the very first time that Cora had met Shiv.

Logan Roy had recently separated from his wife and his children had followed him back to the States. Frank had mentioned the man in passing at dinner, had even mentioned the fact that Logan had a daughter around Cora's age, but Cora had never really paid much attention to that fact until the day of the wedding. She'd been sufficiently angsty the day that her mother wed Frank, not least because she'd recently learned she was to take his last name. Though she'd never known her father, nor anything about him since Reagan had always acted as though she'd made Cora all on her own, she felt an odd attachment to her name being Cordelia Evelyn Evans, mostly because it sounded funny and also because it was proof of Reagan's stubbornness. After all, Evelyn had been her middle name, and the middle name of her mother before her and so on. Of course she was never going to let a little thing like her first husband's name in the way.

So when Cora had been sulking on the recesses of the reception and a small, bright eyed redhead had interrupted her thoughts by coming up directly in front of her, hands posed on hips. Cora had been caught off guard. But from the moment Shiv had opened her mouth to demand that Cora help her steal a chunk of the gaudy, multi-tiered wedding cake while the adults were busy, Cora hadn't been able to help herself.

That was the thing about Shiv; she could always get her way with Cora, and Cora was always guaranteed something to do. She'd never been particularly good at entertaining herself, being in her head made her feel far too uncomfortable, though she'd never really understood why, and the moment she had become friends with Shiv, the other girl had always been quick to fill that void. Shiv, in contrast, always knew what she wanted to do and always had a plan to propose how to get it. She'd simply been looking for someone to enact said plan.

And thus began a tradition that spanned many summers and winters, where Cora would be shipped off to the Roys while her mother finally got the freedom that was, apparently, destined for a middle aged woman with a new husband and a pre-teen daughter. Reagan had always kept Cora at an arm's length, so the change was not jarring, though the silence that accompanied her leaving the Roys was almost always unbearable. It hadn't taken much begging from Cora to send her to the same boarding school as Shiv when the jump from middle school to high school arrived.

Phillips Exeter Academy was located in the town it was named after in New Hampshire, a far throw from the inner city elementary that Cora had attended, but her entry into the new ecosystem was buoyed considerably by her connection to Shiv. Shiv Roy's reputation, courtesy of her father's company, had preceded her and won her early interest with the upperclassmen, which of course trickled down to Cora and Shiv's year level, making the pair early Exeter royalty. It wasn't a strike against either girl that they were both from considerable wealth, nor that each were academically endowed, though Shiv was a clear and vocal frontrunner.

The duo were revered in their cohort, and it wasn't lost on either girl, but Shiv took their popularity with a grain of salt and for the most part, acted oblivious to it unless she could find a direct benefit. Cora was different though, the feeling of being seen was admittedly intoxicating to her, and she was happier to be sucked into the lunchroom politics and sly backstabbing. On occasion Shiv would become invested, but for the most part, Cora's antics seemed to irritate her. Shiv seemed to much prefer it much better when it was the two of them, and sometimes Cora suspected that she resented that Cora cared much about the feelings of others, herself included.

Despite this, the two did have a core group of friends that formed around them, made up of candidates that least annoyed Shiv; Violet, Ansel, Leah, Arabella and Arthur.

Violet was the daughter of theatre actors, and was predictably emphatic and spirited, "a little too in touch with her emotions" as Shiv liked to put it. Ansel and Arabella were fraternal twins, both tall and waifish in appearance with a shock of red curls sprouting from the tops of their heads. They did very little without the company of the other, which would have been considerably unsettling if they were more withdrawn and antisocial, however both were charismatic and possessed the ability to convince you of anything if they set their mind to it.

Leah was the typical Exeter student, quiet and studious and from a politically weighty family. Her mother had been one of the original top models of the 1980s and was considerably younger than her father. She was mainly tolerated in their group given the close relationship between Logan Roy and her father, and for that, Cora always felt a level of competition when they were placed in the same classes.

And finally there was Arthur. Arthur was classically handsome; high cheekbones, bright green eyes, a sharp and square jawline that didn't need to be clenched to appear accentuated. He was captain of both the lacrosse and the debate team and maintained near-impeccable marks, seemingly without ever studying. He also happened to be arguably the most vied after boy in their year level, and Cora was certainly not immune from his charm.

While attending the Roy's holiday house was usually reserved for Cora alone, the year of Shiv's 15th birthday marked the first time the group met outside of the grounds of Exeter for a small celebration. Logan's approach to parenting could be called hands off at best, and thus the evening was to be spent with minimal supervision, as Logan was spending the weekend nearby his office. The only intruder to the celebrations was Roman, though he was the most quiet Cora had ever seen him, mostly staying on the fringes of the conversation as the group shared details of their Christmas break.

The sleepover began normally enough with the group gathered around the television, chatting amongst each other and snacking on pizza but quickly the raid of the liquor cabinet escalated their activities quickly.

"What about spin the bottle?" Violet proposed, giggling over a cup of rose. Shiv shook her head, pushing a strand of red hair behind her ear.

"Boring." She remarked, her eyes narrowing as her lips curled into a sharp grin. "Let's play seven minutes in heaven."

Cora felt her insides squirm as she shifted on her position at the edge of Shiv's bed. Her gaze at once fell to Arthur, who met her eye. Blushing, Cora shifted her gaze to the floor. Shiv cleared her throat.

"Vi, grab a bottle."

Given that Violet had proposed anything to begin with, Shiv had reasoned that she should spin first, the bottle landing squarely on Ansel. Then followed a rush of nervous giggling as all but the two left the room to wait in the landing above the stairs as Roman counted out the minutes on the grandfather clock in the hallway.

When the two emerged from the closet after the group had reentered the room, Violet's cheeks were glowing, and the loose coiled strands of her hair were noticeably mussed.

"Pick a victim." Shiv said, but Violet was already looking squarely at Cora, who tried her best not to let the sudden thundering of her heart beats distract her as she settled down on the ground.

"I get the message." She said, trying to sound lighthearted but failing miserably. She gripped the neck of the bottle and gave it a jerk, setting the dark glass into motion.

It felt as though time slowed as the bottle began to rotate. She didn't quite know who she wanted to bottle to land on. Arthur was an easy choice, given that she couldn't see any complications arising from having to spend the time in the closet with him. Ansel too, though from the look on Violet's face, maybe that was a foolish assumption. Hell, she'd have taken Shiv at that point if it meant not having it land on ...

"Roman." Shiv declared. Her tone had an edge, even as she held her expression steady. Cora blinked, her eyes flickering from the bottle to the person fate had chosen for her. He seemed utterly unfazed, pushing himself upwards off of the ground and extending a hand to help her to her feet.

As the rest of the group filed out of the room, Shiv shot Cora a look from over her shoulder. Cora swallowed, nodding. It was more than enough to tell her not to cross any lines.

"So, come here often?" Roman said, shifting in the dark to turn to her once they had moved into the closet. Cora giggled nervously, biting down on her bottom lip. She heard Roman cough to clear his throat, watching him relax his back against the wall of the closet as her eyes adjusted to the gloom. "Sorry, bad joke."

"It's ... It's whatever." She replied, trying to sounds flippant. Even through the closed bedroom door and the closet itself, she could still hear Shiv and the others joking excitedly. She wondered just what they were all talking about, but most of all, the question if Shiv truly trusted her circled Cora's brain.

"Yeah, I guess so." Roman whistled under his breath. "I'm gonna sit down, seven minutes is probably gonna feel like an eternity."

"True." Cora murmured as Roman sank down, pulling his knees against his chest. She mirrored his movements, a small space between their legs as they faced each other. Cora propped her chin on top of her knees, blowing away a strand of hair that dangled in front of her nose.

For a moment, silence passed between them, save for the light twinkle of laughter that filtered from the outside and the steady pace of Roman's breathing, picked up despite the throbbing sound of Cora's heartbeat that hummed in her ears. It was loud enough that she was sure that Roman could hear it with every passing second, sure that he had not voiced that he could out of uncharacteristic politeness.

"You and my sister are ... little fucking menaces." Roman said, his voice cutting through the din. The comment caught her off-guard, and she let out a short scoff, snorting.

"Fuck off, we are not."

"Yes you are, yes you fucking are." He said, jerkily pointing a finger at her. Cora rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"How? How are we 'little fucking menaces'?" Cora shot back.

"Well, it's kind of obvious, at least from how all of Shiv's other little friends are acting. They jump so hard when you two are around, you'd think they'd survived Guantanamo." Her mouth opened to retort, but Roman continued. "Not to mention that Shiv spent her first week back here talking about how you guys Nair-ed some girl in your dorm?"

Cora bit down on her bottom lip, annoyance flaring in her chest. So much for taking things to the grave, she thought, trying to not look too uncomfortable, finding herself wondering if Shiv's sharing of the story had been merely excitement or deliberate.

"Which is whatever, by the way. I'm not going to call the school and report you. Heck, I think it's kind of ballsy." Roman added, shrugging his shoulders. A little relief washed over Cora as she swallowed, nodding.

"Thanks ... I mean, if it means anything, she kind of stole this guy Shiv had a thing for."

"She said you had a thing for him." Roman said, cocking an eyebrow, continuing before Cora had a chance to process the information. "What was his name, Tom Darren?"

"Dean. Tom Dean." She corrected.

"Yeah, so still a pretty underwhelming name."

"Not everyone can be called Romulus."

Roman winced at that, giving his head a concise shake. "Not everyone wants to be called Romulus."

"Not a fan?" Cora replied, smirking. It was true that she'd only ever heard Logan call him by his full name. "I don't mind it, better than having a grandma name."

Roman shrugged. "Cordelia is a lot better than Romulus. I read King Lear for English and the best character in that was called Cordelia. Besides, not a lot of people find fucking Ancient Rome a particularly cool thing to be associated with. The closest thing I have to a Remus is Shiv, so that's saying a lot."

"Yeah but, didn't Romulus kill Remus and go on to rule Rome?" Cora tilted her head to lean against the side of the closet as she spoke. "There are worse people to be named after."

"Ok, so not a lot of people but you, then." Roman replied, rolling his eyes. "Shiv mentioned you were top in History."

"What can I say, I like dusty old guys and their big books."

"Har har," Roman replied, laughing under his breath. "Ok, if you know so much, who are you? In the mythology."

Cora shrugged, she'd never really considered the question. When they had taken to studying the Roman's mythology in class, she had found one goddess in particular to be the most interesting out of the others "Probably Proserpina, the one abducted by the god of the Underworld."

"I would've thought you'd have said Aphrodite." Roman commented, his lips curling into a half-smile.

"It's Venus, actually." Cora corrected him, unable to stop herself. "For the Romans, at least."

"See, you know everything about her apparently." Roman retorted playfully.

Cora let out a snort, reaching a hand across to swipe playfully at his leg. Roman swatted her hand away lightly. She could feel her throat tighten, the brief brush of his fingers like an electric shock, she pulled her hand away and chewed pensively at her bottom lip.

She'd tried her best over the holidays to squash the feelings she had began to harbour towards Roman. For the most part, she'd thought she'd made good headway too. She'd stopped spending spare moments in class thinking about him, daydreaming about the past summer and the days by the pool, the sun beating down on the trio as Roman and Shiv bickered over one thing or another. She'd even managed to stop psychoanalysing every AOL message he sent her, had done her best to take their interactions at face value. After all, as she had tried to drill into her head, even if they meant anything, what good would come of it? None was the answer; her friendship with Shiv was far more important than a passing fancy for her older brother.

The thing was, it wasn't nearly as passing as she kept trying to convince herself. The moment she'd been reunited with the siblings, it had all started over again. The tenuous ability to hold his gaze, the heart palpitations every time he happened to graze against her side passing through a doorway, the stumbling over her words. Each and every time she acted strangely, she could feel Shiv's eyes on her, burrowing deep into her brain and reading each sappy little thought she conjured about him, and she'd feel the shame folding over her like a warm blanket on a hot night, itching her skin and suffocating her.

The solution to her plight had been obvious; she had started to ignore him. She'd even started being rude, at least noticeably abrasive, especially since their other friends had arrived for Shiv's birthday weekend. But it was clear to her now, as it had been the moment the bottle had fallen upon him, that there wasn't any getting past her feelings.

"It's not even a grandma name." He said suddenly. "I read King Lear for English last semester. I can't really remember what even happened in it, but there was a character called Cordelia. So your name's almost as ancient as mine, not really 'grandma old', y'know?"

"Oh shut up." Cora replied, rolling her eyes.

He chuckled, before sighing, his eyes drifting upwards to meet hers. "I feel like you've been waiting all week to say something like that."

"What do you mean?" Cora replied, trying her best to look perplexed. Roman let out a short scoff, shaking his head, his tongue darting out to slide against his bottom lip.

"As in, I dunno, you've kind've been acting like a dick."

Cora could feel her cheeks burning then, clearing her throat. She shifted uncomfortably, readjusting her position against the closet door. She wasn't quite sure what to say, given that he was entirely true in his statement. She had in large part assumed that he wouldn't have cared, that her sudden rebuffs wouldn't be seen as anything but a slight annoyance to him. From the look in his eyes though it seemed she had been wrong.

She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, teeth pressing against her bottom lip. "Oh," was all she could manage.

Unsurprisingly, his expression remained fixed, the disappointment evident on his features. He let out a laugh, dry and sharp. "I mean, it's whatever. I just ... Noticed it because, and I dunno if you've realised this, but you're kind of the only person who doesn't treat me like a massive fucking weirdo."

Cora blushed. She hadn't expected him to say something so vulnerable. That just wasn't Roman. He was forever dancing around the subject of himself, offering a self-deprecating jab here or a joke there but never in a way that would have made her think he thought poorly of himself.

"I-I'm sorry." She stuttered, trying not to trip over her words. "I ... I don't know, it was stupid. I was just acting stupid. I don't hate you or anything."

"I know." He said simply, and the look he gave her filled her with a strange feeling, one that she had never felt. In her chest, she could feel her muscles tensing, a strange fluttery in the pit of her stomach. Were those butterflies? She closed her eyes, swallowing, overtaken with the strange sensation that was something between fear and elation.

I know.

She couldn't help herself from pushing then, her skin itchy as a heat flared against her neck and spread to her cheeks. "You know what?" She said, realising seconds later that she had barely managed the words, that they had left her lips almost as quietly as a breath of air.

Roman shrugged softly, shifting the conversation suddenly. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

Cora managed a small scoff under her breath, her chest tightening. What had he meant? Did he know? Truly know? But she didn't have time to think, no, because his question was hanging heavy in the air between them. She bit down on her bottom lip, closing her eyes as she answered.

"No." She admitted, surprised that she hadn't lied on instinct. "Never."

"I'm ... surprised" He murmured, a daringness in his dark eyes as he spoke the words.

"Why is that?" Cora asked, a little too quickly. She cleared her throat. "Have you?"

"A few things." Roman replied, shrugging. "Yeah, one time."

"Oh."

The sound felt as though it were stuck in her throat still, lodged like a piece of food gone astray. Something inside her, despite herself, felt like it had crumpled with disappointment. She knew it was stupid, she knew there was nothing between them, could never be anything between them, yet the news that someone had already done the thing she pined for felt like a blow to the chest.

"Yeah." He murmured, shrugging his shoulders. There was something in his voice that she couldn't quite identify, though it sounded something like disappointment. "A pity I guess."

"A pity?"

There was a sudden whoosh to her side, light suddenly flooding the closet. Cora winced at the sudden intrusion, wincing as she held a hand up to shield her eyes. Shiv towered above them, her arms spread wide to peel the doors apart, her brows knitted together, nostrils slightly flared.

"Times up!" She said, her shaking her head slightly, her mouth taut as she spoke. Cora rose quickly, shaking the pins and needles out of her legs. She dipped quickly beneath one of Shiv's arms when the other girl did not move, straightening out her shirt.

"Went on forever." She remarked, trying to keep her voice light. When she received no reply, she glanced over her shoulder. Shiv's gaze was still firmly fixed to her brother as he remained unmoving on the floor of the closet.

"We need a little privacy, Cora." Shiv said, not moving. "The others are downstairs."

Alarm bells were ringing in the back of her head as she nodded in response, despite the fact she was sure neither sibling would notice. Had she said something wrong? Had Roman? Deep down, Cora knew she would probably never find out. And so, with her tail tucked between her legs, she closed the door behind her, and dutifully headed downstairs.