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𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑

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FLASHBACK: SPRING 2017. CORA, AGE 28.

Cora threw back the shot, the alcohol burning the back of her throat. Around her, rowdy chatter and the teeth chattering thump of drum and bass filled the air of the club, a new establishment that had just opened to warm reception despite some not-so-hidden ties to the mob.

The weekend was like any weekend for Cora. Ever since the inheritance had poured into her bank account ten years ago, Cora had been in high demand on the New York party scene. She'd made the right friends, attended the right gatherings, and dressed in all the right ways to garner the right kind of attention. From the outside, Cora's life looked charmed, and in many ways it was, but rot crusted in rhinestone only succeeded in deceiving. Inside, Cora felt her decay like an old friend.

To her left and right, she was flanked by Andrea and Michelle, the daughter of an oil tycoon and a professional poker player respectively. As much as the two were a constant for Cora, she knew little about them other than Andrea's penchant for special k and Michelle's preference for very old, very rich men. In truth, it would have been a lie to call either of them a friend, and yet that was the only word that applied to them. Coworker? Associate? No. Friend was the best shorthand, even if it was imperfect.

She placed the shot glass down on the bar with a clatter, inhaling sharply as she resisted her gag reflex. The cute blond behind the bar shot her a mischievous grin as she recovered. The bartender leaned towards her as he pulled out a fresh shot glass.

"That one a little strong?" He smirked. She shook her head in response.

"No, not at all."

"Another round then? You're going to drink the entire club under the table."

They'd been going at this for at least fifteen minutes now and it was beginning to cause the bar to fill up. Cora was more than certain that the staff had been instructed to keep the drinks flowing for the girls, after all what else was the draw for a place like this aside for beautiful, intoxicated socialites, but she was still having fun. So what if he was only flirting for a tip? He was hardly her type despite his evident attractiveness. No, the bartender made Cora feel confident, a considerable turn off. She needed a different kind of itch scratched when it came to anything serious. Besides, she wasn't into blonds in the least, especially not the beachy-surfer kind.

"Yeah, shoot. Give me the filthiest creation known to mankind. I'm barely buzzed." That was a lie, she could already feel herself swaying in her Michael Kors. The bartender grinned, cocking an eyebrow.

"I don't know, I feel like you're going to regret this."

Off to the side, a voice attempted to fight against the heavy beat of the music through the loudspeakers. "Hey! Hey barkeep!"

Cora felt the strangest impression that she recognised the voice, but moved closer to lean across the bar, staring down the bartender with a half-smile cocked on her lips. "I'm not a pussy. Give me a double absinthe with a whiskey for the chaser and I'll show you how much I regret it."

"Done." The bartender smirked, beginning to mix her drink.

From her side, Michelle gave a squeak as someone pushed her aside, their shoulder brushing against Cora's shoulder. Cora turned her head to the side to shoot the intruder an annoyed look, stopping short as recognition dawned on her features. She froze, her arm extended midair, as the bartender made to hand her the concoction he'd created.

"Hey!" Kendall Roy barked, waving a hand in front of the bartender. "You know your buddy over there is swamped, can you cut this short? Get the girl's number and do it off the clock."

Cora's mouth opened out of shock as the bartender turned his attention to the interruption. He looked Kendall up and down with a sigh, before rolling his eyes. Slinging the tea towel he'd been using to dry up glasses over his shoulder, he looked back to Cora.

"Uh, you doing anything after this?" He managed over the din. Cora pursed her lips and gave an awkward laugh. She'd hoped to have jumped out of the interaction properly intoxicated and ready to tackle her usual crowd at these kind of events; the wealthy older investors who were usually forking out an arm and a leg to promoters for girls like Cora and her friends to be seen on opening night.

Taking the drink he'd served her, she gave a shrug as she tried to ignore the hammering of her heart in her chest. Best to make it quick, after all, she didn't particularly want to recognised. "Something tells me I will be doing something, but that something won't be you." Cora spoke quickly before turning on her heel and trying to push out from the throng that had begun to

A hand gripped her forearm before she could properly get away, and Cora spun around to face the inevitable.

Kendall didn't look all too different from the last time she'd seen him, though maybe a little more weathered around the edges. His dark hair was cropped close to his scalp, the areas near his temples and the sides of his face beginning to fleck lightly with grey. He was wearing a neatly pressed grey suit, though his navy tie was noticeably loosened.

He dropped his grip as their eyes met, a smile lighting his face that was surprisingly welcoming. Cora felt herself relaxing slightly.

"Hey." She managed, her voice only just cutting above the noise.

"Hi," Kendall replied. "Long time no see."

"Yeah." Cora's teeth brushed against her bottom lip, taking a quick, nervous sip from her glass. "I didn't think I'd ever run into you in a place like this."

He cleared his throat. "One of my friends is an investor ... " Kendall trailed off, glancing over his shoulder. He seemed to be searching for someone, his eyes searching the crowd, though it was near impossible to make out anyone more than five feet away from you. The bar was a throng of swarming bodies, the large dance floor bathed in dark blue light with only the neon floor providing any sufficient illumination.

He returned his gaze to her. "Hey, do you want to go get a private booth and talk? They have those upstairs, in VIP, if I'm not mistaken. It's just a little ... " He paused, gesturing to the heavens. "Loud and stuff."

"You want to talk to me?" Cora replied, letting out a nervous chuckle. She had been caught off guard by the question; why on earth would he want to talk to her? Yet the offer was tempting, curiosity gnawing at her.

"Yeah, yeah I want to talk to you. It's been, what, ten years? I want to talk." Kendall laughed as he spoke, and Cora found herself relaxing slightly. Ok sure, they could talk. What was the harm in that?

Ten minutes later and Kendall had managed to wrangle one of the private booths, though not without a little sweet-talking from Cora. Her friends had shot her more than a curious look when she'd climbed the metal staircase to the upper level, and she'd felt her little black YSL bag buzz incessantly against her side, but Cora had decidedly left her phone untouched, even as Kendall had disappeared to procure a bottle of Grey Goose.

He arrived by shortly after, closing off the velvet curtain. Upstairs, the throbbing bass of the EDM track that was playing was surprisingly soft. Cora sat on the leather seats of the booth, her body wired from adrenaline, sugar and whatever concoction of spirits the bartender had thrown in her cup. Kendall sat down in front of her, two shot glasses clinking against the table in between them, sitting down and unscrewing the bottle.

"You want?" He raised the bottle upwards, tilting the base towards Cora. She nodded, and Kendall obliged, pouring clear liquor into her shot glass, then to his own before settling down opposite her.

Kendall raised his glass and Cora followed suit, a soft dull clink sounding out in the booth, the air tinged with the scent of Coco Mademoiselle and vodka. Cora threw back her shot, wincing, her placing her glass back on the table as she swallowed the sensation of her throat tightening.

"Another?" Kendall asked, raising the bottle of Grey Goose. Cora nodded.

"Of course."

Kendall obliged, his eyes flickering upwards as he poured. "This place is nice."

Cora couldn't stop herself from laughing. "You really think?"

"Yeah, of course." He nudged her shot glass back to her side of the table. "You don't?"

"I just didn't think a place like this would be your ... thing."

Kendall raised an eyebrow, throwing back his shot. He hissed under his breath, before replying. "I'm not that much older than you, but you talk like I'm a geriatric. I party. I party all the time."

A grin, soft and impish, danced on his lips as he shot her a challenging look. She snorted. "Look, you'll forgive me for getting the wrong impression. The last few summers I spent at the holiday house, you either spoke about college or your dad's company. Can you really blame me for thinking you were a square?"

He shrugged in reply. "I guess that means Shiv kept a few things from you."

Cora felt herself tense suddenly, instinctively. The glow that had settled on her from the buzz now turned into a scarlet burn on the tops of her cheeks. She cleared her throat, shrugging off the comment.

"It's normal to keep secrets. I did too. Maybe she was just trying to protect your ego."

"Maybe. My ego's not so fragile that my sister's best friend's low opinion of me is guaranteed to shatter me."

"Well, lucky we'll never find out, because I always thought you were just fine."

Kendall snickered, nodding. "Just a dork."

"Yeah," Cora replied, smiling softly. "Just a dork."

She threw back her shot then, savouring the burn in her throat this time, trying to not let her mind linger on the comment.

Secrets were a delicate thing when it came to her relationship with Shiv, especially the longer they had grown apart. It seemed the longer that Cora lingered on the circumstances of their relationship, the deeper the wedge between them grew, until it was cavernous and dark and unignorable. Shiv had finished college while Cora had dropped out, Shiv was pursuing her ambitions while Cora chased notoriety, Shiv knew her limit while Cora pushed and pushed and pushed.

And that wasn't even beginning to touch the girl code thing.

But each and every time that Cora came close to the acknowledgement that maybe she and Shiv weren't close anymore, that they weren't best friends, that maybe they were even toxic for one another, it was as though the thought itself could not compute. Cora would feel herself shutting down, would feel the itch for the burning sensation of liquor down her throat, the warmth of it settling in her stomach. After all, when she was drunk, she didn't have to think or feel.

"So," Kendall said, breaking her away from her thoughts. "Apart from attending nice places such as this one, what have you been doing with yourself?"

Cora chuckled, shrugging. "I just try to enjoy life at the moment. Or at least, try to. The editors at The NY Globe seem to be having a lot of slow days recently though, and they're making my days a little more ... insufferable."

Kendall grimaced visibly, running a hand through his hair. "Uh, yeah, sorry about that."

"Don't be. At least, I don't know. I assume you have ... like, not much say about that kind of stuff." Cora shrugged, trying to look nonchalant. "But, I mean, if you don't, then yeah, fuck you."

"You're right, I don't. But I've been trying to put in a word for you. It's just hard, talking to the media people." Kendall poured himself another shot as he spoke. "They start talking about 'newsworthiness', and take it as a microaggression if you imply stalking a bunch of socialites somehow doesn't fall under Pulitzer Prize level journalism."

"I believe you." Cora replied, holding out her glass for Kendall to refill. "I just hope you don't believe the shit they report on."

"Really?" Kendall raised an eyebrow. "Because here I was thinking you really were one of Putin's mistresses, I was going to ask what the bi-monthly flights to Moscow were like."

"Tiring." Cora rolled her eyes, "But rewarding."

"Of course." Kendall smirked, before taking his shot. Cora followed suit, pursing her lips as she set the shot glass back down. Kendall opened his mouth, but a knock from outside the booth stopped him short. He frowned, clearing his throat. "Uh, yeah?"

"Kendall! You here? I was told I'd find you here." A dark haired man pushed past the curtains of the booth then, his forehead creasing as he looked at Kendall expectantly. Kendall straightened his posture, rising from his seat.

"Yeah, shit, sorry man. I ... " He glanced back towards Cora, her eyebrows raised with curiosity. "Just catching up with an old friend. Sorry, should've given you more of a heads up, this i-"

"Cordelia, right? Vernon." The man had moved from the entrance of the booth to take Kendall's spot now, the Roy shuffling to the side somewhat awkwardly to the spot next to Cora. Both men settled down into the seats in the booth. Cordelia cleared her throat, nodding slowly.

"Yeah."

"I was at a party you were at in Soho like ... A month ago." The man continued. "You threw up on someone's bed, I heard. I was gonna say hi, but sounded like you were having a rough night."

Cora opened her mouth, glancing to her side at Kendall.

"This is Stewy. Stewy Hosseini." Kendall muttered quickly. "Stewy, lay off a little, or I'll tell her the hazing story."

"Fuck off, you wouldn't." Stewy snickered, shaking his head. "Because by hands would be tied then. And you know you wouldn't live some of the college days down."

Kendall waved a hand dismissively, rolling his eyes. "Stewy's an investor. Private equity."

"Yeah, I definitely know what that means." Cora replied, shaking her head. "I used to tune out whenever you talked about economics, sorry Kendall."

"I don't blame you." Stewy replied, grabbing the bottle of vodka and taking a quick swig out of the bottle. "Listening to a Econ101 lecture at the dinner table doesn't seem too appealing."

"It means ... " Kendall stopped himself short before seemingly deciding against it. Cora found herself exchanging a knowing look with Stewy, who smirked almost proudly. "Yeah, I'm not even going to bother."

"Of course you're not, buddy." Stewy replied, shifting in his seat to reach into his pocket, producing a small baggy of white powder which he promptly dropped on the table before them. "What you are going to do, however, is partake with me."

Cora swallowed as she watched Stewy pull out a credit card, opening the little baggy up and tapping out the white powder onto the table. Despite being on the party scene, Cora had mostly managed to avoid taking anything other than weed. Her attraction to being intoxicated had remained firmly fastened on alcohol, something she felt she could at least feel a little proud of whenever someone pulled out coke or pills at a party. A little moral high ground, even if it was a precarious one. She'd never really felt curious either, mainly deterred by the unwelcome sensation of snorting something to get a high.

But sitting with Kendall and Stewy, she felt a weird pull towards the white powder. Kendall was right, he wasn't all that older than her, but he was old enough that she didn't want to give him a reason to question her maturity. Did being mature mean taking cocaine? It felt like maybe in this circumstance it did.

"Oh nah, man, maybe not tonight." Cora could feel Kendall's eyes shift to her. "Just taking it easy. Rava has a thing tomorrow."

"Rava always has a thing tomorrow. C'mon, when I invite you out, I'm inviting you out. None of this pussying out shit." Stewy replied, beginning to divvy up three lines with the edge of his credit card.

"Who's Rava?" Cora asked, raising an eyebrow. Stewy's eyes flickered upwards, pausing for a moment, before shifting his gaze to Kendall. Something seemed to change in his expression, a sly smirk forming on his lips. Cora opened her mouth to press further, but Kendall spoke then, cutting her off.

"Rava is my wife." Kendall murmured. Cora's eyebrows rose. It hadn't even been a concept that had crossed her mind, the idea of Kendall being in a relationship, let alone being married. Then again, she never did check for a ring. "And I'm not being a pussy, I'm just trying to not be rude. Cora doesn't do drugs."

"Yes I do." Cora said quickly, shaking her head. "I do drugs."

"She does drugs. The girl does drugs, Kendall, so you can also do drugs." Stewy grinned, nodding towards the lines. "Ladies first."

"I thought ... " Kendall's brow furrowed, but he shrugged his shoulders. "Yeah, ok, fine. You talked me into it."

"Like I always do. Now, Cordelia, if you don't mind ... "

"It's Cora." She corrected, swallowing as she looked at the three thin white lines. She breathed slowly inwards then, trying to calm the storm of nerves, recalling the way that she had seen people snort before, ignoring the squirming in the pit of her stomach.

Just this once. There's no harm in just once.

Her eyes flickered to Kendall's hand, resting on top of the table then, each pale finger bare. She leaned across the table, forefinger blocking off her left nostril.