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𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍

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Cora frankly hadn't been paying attention when the room had fallen silent, her mind on everything but the sales pitch that Roman was reeling off to Eduard, his father and their business associates.

She sat at the end of a short couch, one leg crossed over the other as she balanced her chin atop the surface of her knuckles. Further up the coach to her were Karl and Laird, two of Logan's men that had been sent along with Cora to try and secure funding from Eduard's father, though the charge so far had been led primarily by Roman. She had to admit that she was impressed with his cadence in front of the group. She'd been tainted by everyone's dismissive attitude towards Roman and his business acumen, but so far he'd led a promising pitch. The problem with Cora's attention span was not Roman, but rather the trouble brewing back in New York, where the rest of the family would be soon sitting before a senate inquiry to answer for the cruise scandal.

It was hard to get a real read on how things were going to pan out. Roman had essentially banned conversation about it on the flight over, citing that it would ruin his 'mojo' if he thought about it too much. From the few text updates she'd received from Shiv, things were moving along well enough, but each message was stilted and hurried. The news of Tom's disastrous round of questioning had hit Cora's phone in the form of an Apple News notification right before the business meeting had begun and she'd been forced to only skim it as Eduard and his associates took their places in the room.

It wasn't the fate of the company that had concerned her as much as the thought of Kendall sitting in front of the senate had. Maybe she was overreacting, but given how she'd been watching him deal with stress lately, the thought of him faring well in front of an audience seemed unlikely. She hated herself for feeling concerned for his well-being, hated the fact that his text had actually managed to worm its way into her brain. She had been unable to shake the little grey bubble from her mind since he'd sent it. Yes or no.

Cora winced, realising she'd been digging the nail of her thumb into the flesh of her jaw. That was when she noticed the uneasy silence that had settled in the room. It took her another beat to realise they had been intruded upon by a group of men that Cora hadn't seen before. Contrasting with the suits that everyone else wore in the room, the men were dressed in plain clothes, though something about the cut of their shorts and the colours they wore gave the impression of military or the police. It wasn't just their clothes that gave the impression, but the wires each man wore, earpieces that coiled down from their necks and disappeared beneath the collars of their shirts.

What happened next was quick, Cora barely felt the time as the pulse in her neck quickened. Eduard rose to speak to the men as Roman began to stutter in his confusion. He turned away from the commotion, eyes searching for an answer from the couch but it was clear by the blank look on Karl and Laird's faces that they knew as much as he did. By the time Eduard had turned back to Roman, their security guy had disappeared. Cora pushed herself off of the couch, her arms folded across her chest as she joined Roman's side.

"We're going with them." Eduard was saying, his voice surprisingly tight.

"Uh, I kinda wanna go with Dave though." Roman muttered, referencing their missing security.

"Dave's not going to be there. Dave has somewhere else to be."

"But the thing is, my dad's paying Dave so that he has nowhere else to go but to hang around me." Roman said. His voice was measured, but Cora could detect the slight waver at the backend of his words.

"Dave's a security risk." Eduard said simply. "These guys are going to look after us."

"Oh great, they're going to look after us." Roman repeated back, looking over at the group of men in question. "Yeah, they definitely look like people who could outdo Dave in the whole 'looking after' department."

"What's going on? Who are these guys?" Cora interjected. It seemed best to move past the subject of Dave. Eduard shot her a wary look, before turning back to Roman.

"You want to make sure this goes smoothly? You go with them. Come on, they're not gonna wait."

With that, he turned and headed out of the door. Roman watched him leave, eyes narrowing as he pulled out his phone. Cora sucked pensively on the inside of her cheek.

"Shouldn't we listen to him?" She hissed as Roman began swiping through his contacts. Karl and Laird had risen to join them, strained expressions on both men's faces.

"We can listen to him when we get Dave ba-"

He stopped short as one of the men in plain clothes walked forward, plucking the phone from Roman's hand. He opened his mouth to protest but closed it quickly as the man turned to Karl, who had also produced his phone, expectantly gesturing towards him.

"Well, there's really no need ... " Karl muttered under his breath.

"I-I think you should definitely give that ba-" Roman began, as Cora stamped down on his shoe with her own. He winced, frowning.

"Don't be a twerp, jus- Just come on." She muttered, grabbing him by the wrist and leading him towards the door. As they passed through, she dug into her pocket and passed her phone to one of the men, giving him a curt nod.

Out in the hallway as they waited to be ushered towards wherever they were being taken, Roman shook himself from Cora's grasp. He glanced over his shoulder back towards her, shooting a thinly veiled scowl as he muttered something beneath his breath about Dave. Fucking Dave, was it really worth the possibility of getting hurt to be able to phone fucking Dave? she wanted to say, but she forced herself to remain silent.

The four were shepherded into an elevator, and one of the men jabbed his finger against the button for the ground floor. By now Cora had spotted the gun hanging from his belt, and she could almost feel her blood pressure beginning to tick higher as they descended each floor. What kept her strangely centred was the faint tremor she'd begun to detect in Karl's hands, just a hint that maybe someone was more scared than she was. Ok, she thought to herself, at least I'm not the one closest to cracking.

By the time they had been ushered into the lobby and had taken a seat among the sea of equally terrified looking patrons, it seemed Karl had reached his breaking point.

"Full disclosure, I am currently having a panic attack." The man mumbled after they'd eased into their seats. Cora didn't quite know what to say, it felt wrong to even try comforting a man of Frank's age. The impression she had always gotten from Karl was that he was slightly bumbling and she'd never known what to make of an adult who didn't terrify her the way Logan did.

Laird shot the man a look, the severity of his features further accentuated by the annoyance that impressed itself on him.

"I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Yup, everything's gonna be fine because Cora palmed off both our phones to the Taliban and now Dave can't watch over us."

Cora scoffed, shaking her head. Why wouldn't he just let this go? "They're not the Taliban." She hissed, rolling her eyes. "You can't just call every ... "

"Oh yeah, sorry, I'll be PC for the men currently keeping us against our will." Roman replied, his eyes flickering upwards to watch a passing guard. As their eyes met, he grinned at the man uneasily. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well though Karl, we can't be having that. How about we play a game to take our mind off of things?"

"Eye spy?" Karl said, a little hopeful.

"Fuck, marry, kill ... Laird, you go first."

Cora rolled her eyes, tuning out of the conversation, instead letting her eyes scan the room. The lobby of the hotel had been turned into a makeshift conference room, it looked as though all of the furniture on the ground floor had been dragged into the room to accommodate for the sheer number of hostages.

Many of the others looked like their group; businessmen on a trip who'd gotten stuck in some way or another at the hotel. Others seemed to be local, at least judging from their clothing, who looked more annoyed than frightened at their current circumstances. Cora tried to base how she was feeling off of this apathy, that maybe this was a regular occurrence, that there wasn't a possibility that she would be dying in the lobby of a Turkish hotel while she listened to her step-father's geriatric co-workers be harassed by the son of their boss.

The entrance to the lobby opened, and Eduard entered the room, searching the crowd. He spotted the group and beelined towards them, one of the guards watching his movements carefully as he came to sit in one of the spare chairs beside Roman.

"Sorry for the inconvenience everyone." He muttered, clearing his throat.

"Yeah, no worries at all. You wanna tell us what's going on?"

"Anti-corruption militia." Eduard replied simply. "It shouldn't be too much of a problem for too long."

"Anti-corruption militia?" Cora muttered, frowning.

"Something tells me that you're not going to want the lesson in Turkish politics if we go down this line of conversation." Roman said, turning to Cora. There was something in his expression that quickly unsettled her. "Play the game. Fuck, marry or kill. Cousin Greg ... Kendall and me."

She narrowed her eyes. She couldn't fathom why he had decided to blame her for the entirety of their predicament. Sure she could have tried to hold onto her phone, but who knew how much of a problem that would have caused. Sighing under her breath, she shrugged, casting her gaze anywhere but him as she answered.

"I guess I'd have to marry your brother, fuck Greg and kill you."

"Oh, you'd marry Kendall? Surprising."

"I guess you could say I know what his extramarital limitations are." Cora replied curtly. "Sorry, should I have made it seem like the decision was harder than it was?"

"Oh, I know it'd be more than easy for you to drive the knife in, Cor."

"Really? All this because of fucking Dave?" She snapped, narrowing her eyes at him.

"This is a long time coming, Cora, I don't think you can blame all of this on one man." Roman shot back.

"You two have a ... A very strange air about you." Eduard said suddenly, looking between the pair. Cora's jaw clenched as she heard Roman let out a string of laughter. "There's a story here. One that maybe we can use to pass the time while ... Well, you know."

Roman seemed consider the possibility as Cora realised how clammy her skin had suddenly become. After all this time, she felt entirely ill-prepared to have a discussion about her history with Roman Roy.

"We're only getting into it if Karl and Laird shut their ear holes and never speak a word of whatever snippets in the conversation they do hear." Roman said. Karl raised his hands and planted them on his ears while Laird frowned, rolling his eyes.

"I hardly care about what kind of ... affairs you two have had." Laird muttered, stealing a glance towards Karl. "Get your hands off of your ears, they're not being serious."

"Oh, I'm being very serious. Speak a word of this conversation and Cora will file a complaint with HR."

Cora rolled her eyes but didn't open her mouth to retort. Frankly her mind was solely focused on the imminent topic of conversation, which somehow had become a more pressing matter than the fact they were being held against their will by a group of terrorists. Laird opened his mouth to reply before slapping his leg in defeat and backing off from the conversation.

Satisfied by the response, Roman looked from Eduard to Cora, his right leg bouncing up and down. Cora was aware that they were about to reach the point of no return with the conversation, and as much as she wanted nothing more than to avoid the topic, another part of her was curious as to what was going through Roman's mind. In all of these years, she closest she'd gotten to broaching the truth of the matter had been an off-handed comment to Greg that she'd since refused to elaborate on. It was like finally scratching an itch she had been expressly forbade from touching, though it was unclear where this directive had come from.

"Do ... you want to explain? Or should I?" Roman said, his tone expectant. Cora felt a twinge of annoyance in her chest as she turned to him.

"Why do you sound like that?"

"Sound like what?"

"Why are you making it sound like I would have something to explain?" Cora could feel heat pulsing in her cheeks as she avoided his eye.

"Right, I guess we're just getting right into it." Roman scoffed, shifting his body in the direction of Eduard. His voice took on a strange tone, instructive yet condescending. "Cora was my sister Siobhan's best friend, we met at the wedding of her mother and step-father, Frank Vernon. Frank was my dad's closest business associate, I'm not sure what you could call him now though. Growing up, Cora would spend a lot of time with us over the summers and it was pretty obvious to everyone that she had a massive crush on me."

Cora swatted her hand against his knee, light but warning. "It wasn't obvious to you, don't lie. You didn't know so don't retroactively change the narrative just because you want to paint me as some desperate weirdo."

He threw his hands up in response. "You're right, I'm the only desperate weirdo in this story after all."

"That's not what I'm saying Roman."

He continued, a hand sliding forward to cap his own knee. "Now I always had mixed feelings about Cora. You know how it is, she was my sister's best friend, and my older brothers were always making jokes, it just made me feel weird. But what I did know was that, at least as a friend, I liked having her around. And we were young, teenagers, so it was always going to be complicated. She had this asshole boyfriend who, get this, once locked me in the laundry because I looked at her wrong and no one noticed which was cool. And I always got the impression that my sister was watching every interaction Cora and I had like a hawk, so there just wasn't too much space for anything to grow.

"Over time though? I guess yeah, she eroded me. I don't know, it's a whole thing when you put obstacles around a person, I think naturally you just want to test whether you can overcome all of that. And, no offense Cora, but I always had the impression that if I wanted to cross the line, that I wouldn't have been turned away at the border."

Cora frowned, unsure what to make of his story about Arthur, given this was the first time she'd even heard about it. It wasn't out of the realm of possibility, but why had he never bothered to bring it up before? She was beginning to feel dizzy and realised she was holding her breath. Hearing his side of things was bringing back a flood of memories, and along with them, feelings long ago buried.

"But we just never had the time alone." Roman said simply. "Not until she showed up in my dorm room."

"I have to admit, it's an interesting backstory. Dramatic. A little cliché." Eduard remarked, nodding as he turned to Cora. "So what was the problem?"

"Yeah Cora, what was the problem?"

She swallowed, shaking her head. To say she felt cornered was an understatement, she could feel her chest tightening as she tried to find the right words to explain. What had been the problem? What hadn't been the problem? Not even taking into account her newly dead mother, their situation had felt impossible. Hadn't he known that her hands were tied?

After about thirty seconds, she realised she'd spent all of her thinking with her jaw hanging and promptly shut her mouth.

"We slept together." Cora said, shrugging to try and show that it wasn't a big deal, though her voice faltered ever so slightly. "And then that was that."

"That wasn't that." Roman interjected quickly. "She took my virginity and then never spoke to me again."

She could feel her skin crawling as she looked down into her lap, aware that all eyes were firmly planted on her now, but nothing weighed nearly as heavy as the shame she felt. When Roman stated it like that, it was hard not to feel like she'd been the asshole in the situation. That was never how she'd pictured it when it came to what had happened between the two of them.

She remembered what it had been like to be with him, the afterglow from finally getting what she wanted. And then she'd felt it; his arm, lying across her waist. How heavy it had been, how warm his breath had been on the back of her neck, the length of the minutes as they crawled by on the neon lettering of his roommate's alarm clock.

Uneasiness crept in, slow and certain. She couldn't help thinking back to all of the promises Arthur had made her before they'd become official, and look how that had turned out. He'd broken up with her right before homecoming, which was not a rare thing for him to do, but this time it had stuck. It had been one bad omen in a line of many; her failing grades, a bout of the flu she never quite shook, the disillusionment with friends that happens when one is on the cusp of adulthood. Her mother dying had been, perhaps, a natural conclusion to a childhood and adolescence that had taught her little and drained her much.

Yes, she finally had Roman now but even that was tenuous. Again, she felt the weight of his arm and panic stirred in her chest. When she'd been with Arthur, she had wondered if she were even built for a relationship, if she were built for love. Everything about her seemed incongruent, and Arthur never had a problem with listing all the things intrinsically wrong with her. She'd tried, in fact she'd jumped at the occasion, to fit herself into the round peg hole that her triangular form had rejected. Back when her mother had still pretended to be a parent, it had been the exact same, and she had yearned for the familiarity of critique, of not being slim and elegant for someone's taste, for being a little too slow and dull. How can one thrive in a relationship when there is no room to improve? Quickly it became less endearing and more exhausting though. She hadn't known Arthur was going to be the way he was when they had just been friends; was that the fate of all her romantic conquests? At the very least, it was the fate of the ones she was foolish enough to let close.

When she'd extricated herself from beneath Roman, the relief had been instant. She hadn't thought much about her decision after that, the consequences of it, the fallout. Indeed, she didn't realise these things until far later, when the dust had settled from the funeral and she found herself alone, truly alone. She had no Roman, and Shiv felt like an island she had been torn off course from, surrounded by rip tides that tossed her back to sea. Shiv didn't know, yet at the same time she did; it was like she could smell a shift in the air and couldn't stop herself from demanding answers.

"It wasn't that simple." Cora said tightly, surprised at the undercurrent of anger in her voice. Didn't he know that she'd done him a favour? Didn't he know the inevitability of their path? After her call had gone unanswered, after she simply had never heard from him again, she'd felt justified in running. Surely if someone had wanted her, truly had the best of intentions, they would have chased her. "My ... my mom had just die-"

"So you acted like I had, too."

She hated him for making her feel so conflicted. She wanted to be angry at his selfishness, but it felt impossible as she met his eyes. Ever since he had arrived back in her life, the person she had grown up with had been nowhere to be seen, but as she held his gaze, she could see the soft sad look in his eyes that she had once been so familiar with.

"I didn't think that you would have cared if I just ... Disappeared for a little." She said, her words leaving her lips as a whisper. "And honestly it didn't feel like you did."

There was a lull then. Cora found herself unable to tear her eyes away from him, and whatever Roman was thinking, he too remained fixed in his position. She wasn't sure how long had passed before Eduard cleared his throat, leaning across to first pat Cora on the shoulder, then mirroring the gesture on Roman. The firm touch broke the spell and both straightened up in their seats, suddenly aware of themselves.

"Your dads would've been quite chuffed if they kn-" Karl began suddenly.

"Shut up Karl." Roman and Cora snapped in unison. Much to her chagrin, she could see Eduard smirking from the corner of her eye.

"And he's not my dad." She followed up, chewing on her bottom lip. "So I'd appreciate if you didn't call him that."

Something akin to sadness seemed to flicker over Karl's expression. His shoulders rounded slightly as he buried his gaze in his lap. He seemed to be mulling something over in his head as he considered what she had said. Cora felt a flicker of guilt pass through her. Maybe she had spoken a little too harshly about Frank. No doubt Karl had a stronger relationship with her step-father than she did.

Roman seemed to notice this too. "Karl, if Cora talking shit was going to take out Frank, he would've gone quite a few years ago, alright? So pick your chin up. You're ruining the mood of this active hostage situation."

Karl coughed, nodding as he moved to straighten up. Cora sighed, relaxing back into her seat. She wasn't quite ready to acknowledge Roman again. Part of her was shocked that she'd been able to speak about the past at all. She'd always taken it for granted that she was the one who had left, that she was the one who'd always insisted on secrecy. He'd never told her to pretend like nothing had happened, she had taken that one on her own. She'd told herself it was a necessity, and at the time it had been. She wouldn't have been able to have took losing Shiv too, and she was sure that if the truth had come out, that would have been an inevitability. But she hadn't been especially close with Shiv when she'd seen Kendall at that bar, and yet she'd still chosen to continue the lie.

She didn't have much more time to lament. It seemed as though she had blinked and Roman was being summoned by name, breaking everyone from the lazy stupor they had fallen into after the heightened emotion of their previous conversation. Roman stood, brushing his suit off as he signalled to Karl and Laird for them to follow his lead. Cora rose a little too quickly, growing faint from the sudden adjustment and steadying herself against the arm of her chair.

Barely perceptible, Roman signalled towards Eduard, shooting the man a look. In response, Eduard grabbed her by the wrist, and Cora froze in her tracks. He nodded his head back towards her seat, and hesitantly she sank back down, looking up as Roman, Karl and Laird began to head towards the man that had summoned them.

"It's better if you stay out here. I'll get you back to your hotel room and bring them back when they're ready."

Cora barely registered his words, instead her eyes were firmly affixed on Roman's departing figure. She had never realised how quickly fear could attach itself to another. Her palms felt slick as she rubbed them together, a chill running down her spine. Just as he passed beneath the arch of the doorway, he met her eye, and for a fleeting moment she could see he was just as scared as she felt. Then he was gone, the doors closing behind him, the hallway beyond swallowing him whole.

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She didn't receive a knock on her door until well into the night.

She had wanted to spend more time around the lobby even after they had been allowed to leave, but Eduard had insisted it was unwise. She'd tried to fight him on it, if Roman was safe then surely she would be, but eventually she folded. She was exhausted after all, jet lagged from the trip and thoroughly dysregulated from the excess adrenaline of the day's events. She'd needed a shower, something to eat.

Instead she'd done neither, collapsing on the plush hotel bed and staring up at the ceiling as she lost herself to her thoughts. The threat, no matter how much Eduard had downplayed it, of never seeing Roman again had sat at the forefront of everything.

The knock drew her upwards, a little too fast, head throbbing from the motion. She hadn't eaten all day, and her stomach felt particularly cavernous, letting out a complaint that echoed deep within her. She ignored it, crossing the hotel room tentatively, her feet sinking into the soft carpet below.

Slowly she unlocked the door, knowing she would find him there yet taken aback all the same.

Roman looked different than he had when she'd last seen him, it was evident in his eyes, like something had been knocked out of place. His hair was ruffled, his tie slightly displaced, and there was a shadow of stubble lining his jaw that she swore hadn't been there earlier in the day. She found herself unable to speak as she stood before him. Slowly the realisation that he was safe began to hit her, and she felt herself deflate.

"Just wanted you to know we made it out ok."

Surprisingly it was Roman who folded first, burying his head in her hair as he impressed the weight of himself on her body. She made a sound of surprise as she caught him, wrapping her arms to steady him. She told herself as she felt tears pricking her eyes that it was the sting of his cologne, a sharp heady scent that filled her nose as she nestled her face into the crook of his neck.

Eventually they pulled apart. Roman ran his eyes over her then, looking at her as though he was seeing her for the first time in a long time. Desperately she wanted to ask him if he was alright, if he hated her, if they could ever be as close as they had been all those years ago. But above everything else, she wanted to ask him what would have happened if she had stayed.