i ruin my weekends doing nothing(because that's all I want to do) but then I always feel guilty I wasted my weekend doing nothing I always have regret and I hate it but oh well my life will be over in a blink of an eye And I'll regret my decisions of doing nothing but I'm ok with that right now but if I knock on wood die tomorrow I know I'll regret everything of what I didn't do or what I didn't say

Ah I hope no one even bothers looking at this stuff

I hate myself ugh
I feel like I shouldn't be so sad because I have everything I could ever ask for I have every opportunity I have things I want but I just I hate myself lol
I'm so pitiful

I always feel like I write and draw stupid stuff and you all think I'm so stupid and half the time I just want to delete it because I feel so stupid and I sometimes I have the strength to leave it because honestly I just want to be myself but I have a really hard time feeling like I can because I'm always afraid of being judged and I'm probably the only one who's judging. I'm judging myself
But all the people I like, like a lot on here, I just feel like they're judging and I'm disgusting them.
And that's probably why people don't talk to me anymore? Hardly anyone does ahaha anyways
Sorry for being such a sap I suck I know