Sheline weds Moyo at the Leeway Hall in Morningside, bringing together over three hundred guests, a number Audrey finds shocking. Despite the crowd, the gathering isn't a lavish one. It turns out to be a traditional wedding, a church wedding and reception party rolled into one. While cultural ambassadors are on ground to inspect the groom's gift to his bride, a clergy handles the spiritual side of the event, offering marital blessings to the couples.

Moyo, dressed in a black suit, carries infectious smiles all through the programme. His siblings and long-term friends – Richard, Tashinga and Tofara – as well as colleagues at work and former schoolmates, are here to celebrate with him, bringing along their wives, fiancées and girlfriends. The unattached ones buckle their belts.

Moyo's parents, accompanied by well-wishers, walk around in spritely strides, raising their heads high to be identified as the forebears of the day's groom. Such a gathering doesn't happen often in their locality where the standard is for a girl to sneak into her lover's house and thereafter label herself his wife. No official ceremony. No vows exchange.

It pleases to see that Moyo chooses a different route. Why won't his parents beat their chests?

Sheline looks regal and gleeful in her beautiful white gown. Her equally pretty friends surround her, making sure she lacks nothing. Most of the guests – from far and wide – are here to felicitate with the amiable bride and her reserved mother. Margaret isn't able to make the trip from Soweto.

After the solemnization procedures, there's plenty to eat and drink. Music blast at intervals. And as dancers show bodily skills, merry-making takes over. A joyful gathering it is indeed for the newlyweds who revel in the company of each other, basking in the euphoria of their big day.

Richard steps out to offer a toast.

"Good people, let me start my speech by throwing a question to the guests here seated, especially the men: Is it possible for a man to judge a young lady's beauty based on the looks of her mother?"

A few of the guests respond in the affirmative. Others shake their heads, looking puzzled, wondering where he's heading.

Richard continues.

"Permit me to share this short story with you, people. Two friends planned to go watch a movie at the cinema, but one didn't show up because he saw a woman whose daughter he thought must be beautiful. The man in question abandoned his friend and decided to take the woman home to see if his assumptions were correct. Lo and behold, on getting to the house, he saw an angel walking out of the gate. That angel turns out to be Sheline seated here. You've just heard the beginning of the relationship we are here celebrating."

Guests applaud the speaker, but Richard isn't done.

"On a day when I was dressed up for the cinema, Moyo left me by the roadside to run after today's bride, Sheline. I was upset when he didn't show up because I waited for almost two hours, or even three. But when I eventually saw her, I forgot the pain Moyo caused me. Which man in his right senses will see such a lady and prefer a movie instead? I'm sure you'll all agree with me that with keen foresight, a bachelor can see his future wife in unplanned ways. Those of us who're still single can learn from this. If only Sheline has a sister, I might have tried my luck. But I'm told she's the only daughter, so I will look elsewhere.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Sheline and Moyo's day. Enjoy yourselves."

Richard drops the microphone to a thunderous round of applause. Chatting and merry-making continues, after which he oversees the cake cutting by the couple who then takes multiple photographs with selected guests. As music notch up in volume, they take to the dance floor.

Soon, the couple moves around to greet their guests.

Moyo's friends hail him to high heavens. They won't stop exclaiming how funny-looking Moyo managed to win such a pretty lady over – a rare feat for a shy guy way back at school.

"The bride is over-pretty." They tell Moyo. "What's the joker?"

"Joker?" Moyo returns their teases. "Just be a gentleman."

Those who can't understand what Sheline sees in Moyo keep shaking their heads. She's even taller than him, for a start. It'll make sense if he were rich. But he's still a hustler. And she appears more educated. Moyo must have used magic to woo her, some opine.

The groom soaks in all the attention, waving hands and smiling at all who looks his way. What a feeling of joy.

"Let me see you briefly." Tashinga calls Moyo and the pair moves away from the crowd, towards an artificial tree nearby, one of many doting the area.

"Let me congratulate you for a great event. I'm happy for you." Tashinga says, blinking severally.

"It's okay. God helps us all when we call unto him. Why did you bring me here? You know we're about to leave."

"Just wait. I brought you a gift – an important one for a day like this."

"A gift?"

Moyo casts a querulous glance at his friend. What kind of gift might he be talking about? Those who brought proper gifts have already presented them.

Tashinga digs into his breast pocket, bringing out a transparent plastic pouch containing a piece of herb, which he presents to Moyo. "Look at this."

Moyo squints at the object in his friend's hand. "Herb?"

Tashinga pitifully shakes his head. "Herb, yes, but not an ordinary one. Swallow this thing an hour before you touch your wife tonight. It will keep your organ erect for five hours or more. Guaranteed." He clenches his fist and stretches his hand.

"Really?" Moyo smiles. Such herbs aren't uncommon around here, but why should the lad choose today to offer it?

"You'll tell me sweet stories when next we meet. Have it, please." Tashinga hands it over.

"Thank you, man." Moyo receives and examines the herb, tucking it into his inner pocket, somewhat surprised such a little thing can do so much. Coming from Tashinga, a married man with two kids, this is special to a lad who has yet to touch his bride. The need to tear her apart this night is undeniable. He'll give her an experience she'll remember for decades.

Moyo raises a thumb at Tashinga. "This is the best thing you've ever done."

Moyo plods back to the gathering, recalling that Tauya had equally handed over a liquid mixture three days ago, claiming it's a sure way to make a lady sweat.

But why should these guys think he isn't man enough? Well, they've done well to raise his expectation.

The ceremony wraps as dusk falls. While guests begin to take their leave, Moyo welcomes Sheline into the Mercedes Benz 'S' class Richard provided. Another vehicle is behind them into which Tobi had loaded the wedding gifts. The couple set out for Rhodesville Estate.

Just as the car kicks off, Sheline waves at friends, avoiding her mom who can't bring herself to wave the bride goodbye. But seeing her mom in the distance, tears drop from her eyes – part of which can be ascribed to her exit from Morningside, and then for her mom whom she's leaving for the first time since birth.

"Wipe your tears, dear," Moyo offers a handkerchief. The driver also encourages her not to mess up her make-up. She soon shelves emotions and begins to chat with her husband. Blissful smiles return as they cruise along the road.

It did cross Moyo's mind weeks back to reserve a honeymoon room in one of the big hotels in Bulawayo, or to travel to a secluded area in Harare, as most locals do on their wedding day. Considering such moves unnecessary luxuries, he shelves the idea, especially when Sheline isn't pushy about it. As a result, he spends some good cash refurbishing his bedroom and kitchen. His one-bedroom flat is enough to welcome him and his wife.

As they arrive at Rhodesville Estate, the groom hops out of the car, slamming the door shut with unfamiliar verve. The driver darts a shocking look at Moyo judging him excited. Only a wedding day joy can make a man act drunk.

Neighbours, some of whom attended the ceremony, welcome them home with applause. The driver and Tobi out transfer wedding packages into the flat, leaving the couple to begin their life-long marital journey.

Now alone with her husband, shyness takes over Sheline. She sits on the bed, hands clasping to her jaws thinking through the new path her life will take. Or is it the glory today's events shower on her? There seem to be lots to think about.

Moyo has to cajole her before she does anything. The honeymoon has kicked off. "Why don't you change your wedding gown," he says, for a start.

Sheline looks around the single-bedroom flat which is a far cry from her spacious Morningside bungalow. Well, married life must begin somewhere. She shrugs, gets up from the bed, folds her gown, takes a shower and returns to the bed, weary from the day's hectic activities.

The sweetness and colour of the ceremony, the countless compliments flash through her mind, inducing broad smiles. She can't wait to receive the pictures and video clips. Until then, the heaps of gifts, packages, cards, wraps and rolls, forming valleyed mountains in the sitting room brings pristine joy.

"What a lovely day." Sheline whispers, reclines on the mattress, recalling how her mom got off the bed this morning – joyfully, no coughing, no early morning tea. The old woman was so energetic she infected others with it. Sheline places both hands on her face and begins to weep.

The clock on the wall points to a quarter to seven. Moyo, fresh from the bathroom, enters the bedroom to find his wife weeping. Convinced it must be tears of joy, he can't bring himself to wrap hands around her, much against his earlier stance. But this isn't the evening to be timid. Visuals of this night made him wet his bed several times, rolling from edge to edge, musing over when his third leg will resume activity.

Anxiety pushes Moyo to the balcony where he sets his mind on completing thirty push-ups. The quiet neighbourhood compels him to start right away. It's like neighbours are aware of the likely activities that will take place in this flat, and so they keep away. No sound from televisions around; noisy children aren't anywhere nearby. Even the hemp-smoking youngsters who loiter in the evenings have relocated.

After a dozen push-ups, he lifts to his feet, panting, recalling the courtship hassles Sheline put him through. "Seventy kisses and more tonight, no shaking," he whispers with furrowed brows as if anyone denies him such privileges.

While panting, he remembers the aphrodisiac handed to him by brother and friend. It becomes a dilemma on which of the two to take. Trusting Tauya's liquid will be too risky on a night like this. Taking such, he may suffer a network failure which will be counter-productive on a night he's supposed t be operating at 1000 Megawatts.

Opting for Tashinga's herb, he dashes to the sitting room, digs it out and swallows it whole. In no time his muscles begin to irk, urging him into the bedroom. Timidity, or whatever may have been inhibiting him, makes for the windows. The lad whose muscles are irking charges towards his wife who lay limp on the bed in the half-dark room.

Moyo lifts her in the air.

"What are you doing?" Sheline screams. "Easy please."

Not once did he imagine he could lift her off the ground, on account of her bulky mid-region. His newfound prowess upturns his head as his brain whirrs. He slams her on the soft mattress. "We're just beginning," he says with confidence.

This newest husband in Bulawayo isn't just beginning a life-long duty, he'll unleash the pent-up energy he's been saving all these while, to give her an unforgettable experience – a peerless first impression.

Two hours into the wrestling match, the duo lay parallel to each other, gasping and puffing. But the contest soon resumes and neither of the participants tires out until daybreak.