Chapter 31: First Man

He's back.

I didn't know how much I waited for this until it came.

"Napabilis yata ang pagbalik mo, Brix?" dinig kong tanong ni Lord Severo. I couldn't tell if he was amazed or what. "What happened, Son? Did something go wrong?"

Napabilis? Oh! Ang alam ko ay aabutin ng buwan bago makakabalik si Brix. Ilang araw pa lang siyang wala. Why does it feel like it's been ages?

"Son?"

Naramdaman kong niyapos ni Brix ang likod ko hanggang sa higpitan niya uli ang kapit ng dress sa katawan ko. Niluwagan niya ang yakap sa akin pero hindi ako bumitiw.

I was biting my lower lip, trying to suppress my emotions. I am mad at him. I have every reason to hate this man I am hugging but I put it all aside at this moment. I need a hug.

"Did I ever fail you, Dad?" Brix asked and I could sense the scornful in his voice. "I rushed things to get back sooner than usual. They agreed on your conditions. Those who didn't are no longer breathing. Good news, Dad. Mission accomplished."

Lord Severo cleared his throat.

"I wasn't coercing Lady Astra," Lord Severo immediately defended himself. "If she said no, I wouldn't invite her in. But that doesn't matter anymore. I guess my time is up, right? You are back."

"Yeah. I'm taking her back now, Dad."

Binitiwan ni Brix ang pagkakayakap sa akin. Hinawakan niya ang braso ko. Hindi niya ako binalingan ng tingin. Hinila niya lang ako palabas ng silid na 'yon.

We walked through the wrecked door. Nakayuko ang dalawang guard na kanina ay maangas. Nakakamangha. Hindi ko napansin na nakapasok si Brix.

Fear. I could sense it again.

"L-Lady Astra..." Naabutan namin si Erikson sa dulo ng hagdan. Bakas ang pagkabahala sa kanyang mukha. Hindi man lang niya magawang tumingin kay Brixton. "Kanina pa kita hinahanap. Where have you been?"

"Take a break, Mr. Nadija," malamig na sambit ni Brix.

That's the moment Erikson looked at Brix. He gulped and shake his head.

"I'm sorry, Brix. I didn't know—"

"Did I blame you, Mr. Nadija?"

Napatingin ako kay Brix. Seryoso pa rin ang tingin nito pero hindi ko maramdaman ang pagbabanta sa kanyang boses. His voice remained authoritative and but it was not showing any threat.

Erikson shook his head for the second time.

"As you wish, Master Brixton," Erikson muttered before bowing his head. He stepped aside, unblocking our way. "I will be here anytime you need me. Whatever it is."

"Thank you, Erikson," ako na ang nagsalita. "I really appreciate it. Thank you so much—"

"Enough," putol sa akin ni Brix bago kami nagpatuloy sa paglalakad.

Binalikan ko ng tingin si Erikson at nginitian.

Ang akala ko ay iuuwi na ako ni Brix. Lumiko ito ng daan patungo sa party. Hawak pa rin niya ang braso ko at hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin niya ako tinitingnan.

Wait. We are heading to the party?

"No. I'm good now, Brix. Gusto ko nang umuwi—"

He stopped to look at me. His eyes were suspicious. I mean it's has been always like that.

I gulped when his forehead wrinkled.

"Aren't you going to join me to drink?" he asked.

My lips slightly parted. I thought he doesn't like attending this kind of celebration? But whatever the reason is, I just nodded and smiled.

"Sure, Master Brix."

Hindi na niya hinawakan ang aking braso. Nasalikod niya lang ako at nakasunod sa kanya. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang hindi mapatitig sa kanya. Alam kong mabigat na trabaho ang binigay sa kanya pero parang nagbakasyon lang ito.

Hindi man lang bakas ang pagod sa kanya.

He even came back more energized.

Sinalubong kami ng ingay mula sa mga nagkakasiyahan. Hindi rin nagtagal 'yon. Sa segundong humakbang si Brix papasok sa eksena ay humupa ang ingay.

It seemed like an angel walked in and everyone got struck to the extent they forgot what they were doing. In this case, there was no angel. Just the devil who would raise hell any moment.

I couldn't help but smirk.

Dumiretso si Brix sa bar counter. Napansin kong nataranta ang bartender doon. Mas lalo itong naging balisa nang umupo na si Brix at tumingin sa kanya.

"Drink, please?" Brix asked, politely.

Whoa. That was a first. Mukhang good mood siya ngayon.

I sat beside him.

Napasinghap ako nang iikot niya ang kanyang upuan paharap sa akin. He stared at me for a moment before a grin formed on his lips.

Shit. Why is he acting like this all of a sudden?

"Did you miss me?" he asked.

Tila natauhan naman ako dahil sa tanong na 'yon at biglang bumalik sa isipan ko ang mga pangyayaring panandaliang nabura dahil sa biglaan niyang pagsulpot.

Umirap lang ako na ikinatawa nito.

"Is that a yes?" tanong pa nito.

"You are my master, of course," I said instead.

Mas lalong lumawak ang ngisi sa kanyang labi. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay pinagloloko niya lang ako. He knows that he's making me feel uncomfortable with that smirk.

God knows how that kind of smile fits him perfectly.

I gulped. "Are you good?" tanong ko.

Nawala ang ngisi sa kanyang labi dahil sa tanong ko. Sa halip na sumagot ito ay humarap na lang ito sa counter. Sakto naman na nagsasalin na ng alak ang bartender.

And... he came back to being a cold jerk.

Whatever!

Bumaling ako ng tingin sa likod. Nagkakasiyahan pa rin naman sila pero alam kong kabado. May ibang pasulyap-sulyap sa lugar namin na parang pinakikiramdaman ang paligid.

I kind of feel sad. Maybe Lord Trojan hit the bull's eye. Whatever Brix does, he won't get their trust anymore. They all see him as a threat, a monster, and someone they wouldn't like hovering around. I couldn't help but ask myself.

How does Brix feel knowing everyone sees him like this?

Does it make him proud of himself even more? It could be. Knowing fears fuel his ego.

"I'm good. Thank you for asking."

Napalingon ako kay Brix. Ininom nito ang laman ng baso bago nagsalin uli.

Did he just answer my question?

"That feels good though." He looked at me before drinking the newly poured alcohol in the glass. "Knowing someone still cares whenever I come back from a long and fucking same old shit mission. You got me there."

He chuckled.

Napatingin ako sa hawak niyang alak. Hahawakan ko pa lang 'yon pero iniwas niya rin agad sa akin. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin pero nilabanan niya 'yon nang mas masamang tingin.

"Stop drinking alcohol if you can't handle yourself!" pangaral nito bago bahagyang umirap. "I've been wanting to scold that to your face."

"You've been watching over me—"

"Uh oh." He pointed his hand holding a glass on me as he shook his head. "Correction, Lady Astra. You all. I've been watching you all. Not just you."

Umihip ang malamig na hangin na humipan sa mga mata ko. Naramdaman ko uli ang antok. Mas dama ko ito ngayon dahil mahina na ang music at hindi na malakas ang hiyawan sa paligid.

Yuyuko sana ako sa counter pero hindi ko tinuloy. May mga patak kasi ng alak doon.

I yawned.

Napatingin ako kay Brix nang umusog siya bahagya palapit sa akin. Diretso pa rin ang tingin nito sa iniinom. Nakadalawa na agad siya. Uhaw na uhaw.

"Can I?" tanong ko.

I didn't get a response.

I shrugged my shoulder as I leaned my head on his shoulder. Pinikit ko ang mga mata ko. Hindi ako makakatulog sa ganitong posisyon pero makakapagpahinga ako.

I sniffed. I missed his scent.

"You did great." Brix patted my head. "Damn great. You made me proud, Astra..."

I wanted to embrace those words but whenever I remember what are those for, I couldn't help but to shrug them away. Everytime I make him proud, I am pushing myself away. Everytime he compliments me, I am doing myself dirty.

We were just quiet. Walang sino mang bumasag sa katahimikan. Alam kong nandito pa rin sina Randolf, Braun ang iba pa pero hindi man nila kayang lapitan si Brix.

It didn't last like that. Biglang may lumapit sa amin at umupo sa tabi ko. Si Resty na halos gumapang na dahil sa sobrang kalasingan.

"Oh, you're back Brix," I heard him said.

Napaayos ako ng upo nang tumingin ito sa amin. Kumislap ang pula sa kanyang mga mata. Bigla kong naramdaman ang galit nito. Hinawakan niya ang isang baso at binasag ito sa kanyang kamay.

"Shit," I gasped.

Napatayo ako at napaatras. Mabilis na sinuri ko ang katawan ko kung nasugatan ba ako. Mabuti na lang at wala naman. Pero... ano kayang problema ng isang 'to?

Brix remained seated. Nagsalin lang ito uli ng alak sa baso. Hindi niya man lang tiningnan si Resty na masama ang tingin sa kanya. He was showing his rage through those red eyes.

Why?

"Why do you always need to come back?" Resty questioned again.

Brix shrugged his shoulders this time. "To disappoint all of you? What do you think?"

Kumuyon ang mga kamao ni Resty na nakapatong sa counter. I want to calm him down but I don't know how. Baka maging ako ay madamay. Saka hindi ko naman alam kung bakit siya nagkakaganito. Sila lang dalawa ni Brix ang nagkakaintindihan.

Mayamaya ay tumawa si Resty. Bumukas uli ang mga nakakuyom na kamao nito.

"Bakit ba pinagpipilitan mo pa rin ang sarili mo sa lugar na ito?" tanong ni Resty na umiiling pa. "You lost your place the moment you left. If you just stayed away, things would be easier for you."

"I will be the next leader, Mr. Escariaga." That's the moment Brix looked at him. "Mukhang mahaba-haba pa ang pagsasamahan natin? If you can't stand me, I won't stand in your way. You are always welcome to leave."

"Next leader?" Pumorma ang mapang-asar na ngiti sa labi ni Resty. "Right. You will be the next leader of not just a particular group but the entire clan. I wonder how long will you last like that?"

"Hey." Sumulpot bigla si Oscar.

"Until you wish to leave, maybe?" Brix responded.

"Or until you break the rule again—"

"Resty." Mabilis na nilapitan ni Oscar si Resty. "Ihahatid na kita. Umuwi na si Lord Escariaga. Binilin ka niya sa akin. Let's go?"

Bumalik sa pag-inom si Brix.

"Aright," Resty chuckled. Tumayo na rin ito. Agad siyang napakapit kay Oscar nang aktong matutumba. "You can have the position, Brix. But I will never acknowledge you as a leader. Not anymore."

"Good to you see you back safely, Brix. Ihahatid ko lang si Resty," pagpapaalam ni Oscar kay Brix bago bumaling sa akin. "Babalik din ako agad para ihatid ka. Wait me here."

I just nodded.

Gusto kong si Brix ang maghatid sa akin pero mukhang wala iyon sa plano niya.

Bumalik ako sa pwesto ko.

Napansin ko agad ang higpit ng pagkakahawak ni Brix sa baso. Napatingin ako sa kanyang mukha. Kahit na nakayuko siya ay ramdam ko ang dilim ng kanyang pakiramdam.

In just a snap, Resty managed to ruin his mood.

Damn!

He just came back! Why can't they give him a damn break?

"I will be a good leader," Brix mumbled.

Hindi ako nakapagsalita.

But... I believe in him.

"Watch me, Astra..." Inangat niya ang tingin sa direksyon ko. "Watch me rule this clan. Watch me bend the rules. Watch the changes once I've become the leader of Nightfall Clan. I will relish Dad's legacy."

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang tumitig sa kanya. He seemed desperate this time. Ramdam ko ang labis na kagustuhan nitong mapasakanya ang pwesto sa lalong madaling panahon.

"I am Brixton Wenz Cardinal. I own half of the Nightfall Clan when I merged my clan in it. I will own it whole this time. No one can stop me from achieving this."

"Is this what you really want?" I asked.

Natigilan ito.

Doubt. Why did it become visible in his eyes all of a sudden?

"I was born for this," he supposed.

I bobbed my head. "It didn't change after all this time? I know you will be a good leader. You've been fighting for this for I don't know how long. But... is this what your heart really desires?"

Bigla itong ngumisi.

"You are doubting my ability to rule," he mocked.

I immediately shook my head.

"Why do you keep fighting for the same reason why you are hurting, Brix? I get it. This is your dream. But can't you see? Everyone is against you. You might get it but will you be really happy?"

"Happy?" An amused expression flashed on his face. "I forgot when was the last time I became happy. The hell I care anymore. I've been living like this for a long time now. I've been used to not being happy. This is no longer foreign to me, Astra..."

"Brix. Wake up. This position isn't for you—"

"For me?" A mocking laugh escalated out of his lips. "Who even said that I am doing this for myself? Crap it. Let's not talk about things you barely know."

Natutop ako sa kinauupuan ko.

Bumaling ito sa alak at inisahang inom ito.

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang tumitig sa kanya. He's not alone in this? Sino pa ang kasama niya? Hindi ko inalis sa isipan ko na marami ang sangay ng kanyang plano.

Ngayon na sa kanyang labi na lumabas mismo ang mga salitang 'yon, hindi ko maisawang mapaisip. Sino ang kasabwat niya sa planong ito?

Brix stood up. "Let's go."

Sumunod ako sa kanya. Dinaanan namin ang table nila Randolf pero hindi lumingon ang mga ito. Hindi rin nag-abalang tumingin sa direksyon nila si Brix.

Sinubukan ko pang hagilapin sina Adrian at Laura pero hindi ko na nagawa pa dahil sobrang bilis maglakad ni Brix.

Sumakay kami sa kanyang sasakyan na nakaparada sa hindi kalayuan.

He put it in the ignition and started to drive.

We were just silent. Nakasandal lang ang ulo ko at nakatagilid paharap sa bintana. Bigla kong naalala ang unang beses na hinatid niya ako. Ganitong-ganito rin ang eksena.

"How's your mission?" I asked.

Nanatili sa labas ng bintana ang atensyon ko.

"Good," tipid na sagot nito.

"I want to move," I said.

"Where?"

"Somewhere away." Doon ako bumaling sa kanya. "I can't stay in that place anymore. Masyadong malapit kina Tita. May isa nang napahamak dahil sa kapabayaan ko. Ayokong may madamay pa."

He nodded. "Okay?"

"I am planning to move in your mansion—"

Napapikit ako nang bigla itong pumreno. Pinigilan kong hampasin ang braso niya dahil sa inis. Medyo nahihilo pa nga ako tapos bigla pa siyang pepreno.

"What did you just say?" he asked.

"What?" I arched my brows.

"Mansion?"

"What about it?" tanong ko uli. "Pwede akong manilbihan doon. Kaya kong magluto, maglinis. Kahit anong ipagawa niyo sa akin."

Gusto kong umirap pero pinigilan ko.

"So... you really want to fuck my Dad?" he asked.

I just shrugged my shoulders. If I know, ito ang gusto niyang mangyari. Kunwari ay nabigla siya para hindi halatang gustong-gusto niya ang ideya ko.

Sa ganitong paraan ay mas mapapalapit ako sa kanyang ama.

"Fine!" aniya.

Bumigat ang paghinga ko.

Papayag din pala.

"You are moving tomorrow," aniya pa.

"I need a car," sabi ko. Bumaling na uli ako sa labas ng bintana. "May pasok ako sa Nightscape Club. Mahirap mag-commute. Ako na ang bahala sa gasolina."

"You can use my other one," he replied.

Nagpatuloy na rin siya sa pagmamaneho.

"I need to learn how to drive," I said.

"You will."

Biglang bumuhos ang malakas na ulan. Lumabo ang paligid dala ng malalaking patak ng ulan. Binuksan ko ang bintana pero hindi nagreklamo si Brix.

Nilabas ko ang kamay ko at dinama ang patak ng ulan.

"I will claim the position soon," I heard him said. "Alam kong alam mo na kung paano. I want you to continue what you are doing. You've been wanting to break free from me, right? This is the only way."

Dahil sa labas ng hangin ay pumapasok sa loob ang ulan. Alam kong umaabot kay Brix pero hindi ko siya narinig na nagreklamo.

"I will," I mumbled. "Prepare yourself, Brixton. You will get the position soon."

"I was wrong. I admit it. I thought you were just another helpless human. I didn't you would be my ace in this game. I'm giving you the gratitude of the next leader, Astra."

Mabilis. Sa isang iglap ay nagawa kong makalapit kay Brix at hinawakan ang kanyang mukha. In just a matter of second, I claimed his lips.

He let go of the steering wheel to hold me.

His kiss tastes alcohol – a combination of bitter and sweet. Intoxicating. I'm loving it.

I moved my lips to whisper something.

"Before you give up on me, take the first experience. I want you to be the first man, Master Brix."