I sped through Los Angeles as the streets started to bustle with morning traffic. The sun was already blistering the city with its presence, and my eyes were too sensitive to deal with it. Last night I had gotten maybe an hour of sleep total, because if it wasn't the constant anxiety it was the image of Melissa bleeding that made appearances in my dreams.

I had done that. My stupidity had almost killed her. And the fact that she had basically saved my life only made it worse.

Pulling up to the hospital I parked and exited the car. What on earth was I going to say to her? Last night she had gone into surgery immediately, and now she was in recovery. The front lobby was slow in giving me directions to her room, but I eventually found myself staring at her door.

Willi would be in there with her. I would offer to relieve him but he probably wouldn't want to leave her side. It took me a minute to gain the courage to knock.

I did, three times, and then let myself in. Willi appeared, elbows resting on his knees as he peered up at me. Melissa was still asleep. And in my opinion Willi looked worse than she did.

I whispered, "How is she?"

He just nodded, "Lucky. The bullet didn't go through the shoulder. No broken bones, no major arteries..."

I looked at her from the door, the steady sound of the heart monitor keeping me in reality. "Go get some breakfast. I'll stay with her."

My willingness to stay with Melissa might've shocked him, but he was too tired to show it. He probably just figured I felt guilty. That wasn't a lie.

He agreed. "I'll be back in a few hours."

I caught something in his expression before he disappeared out the door. I knew it was about how things had spiraled out of control last night. Derik had excluded me for a reason, and Willi knew why. Thinking too much about it wouldn't do me any good anyway. Besides, did it really matter when the outcome had been Melissa ending up in the hospital?

And of course the fact that I had stormed off like a pissed child made everything worse. The guard had been waiting for me, but what if I wouldn't have left? What if I hadn't gone down by myself? I didn't doubt that the guard would've shot us all dead in a heartbeat. Maybe in a twisted way my stupidity had saved us all.

But Melissa was the real reason we were alive. If she hadn't been following me I would've been dead. And after that no telling what would've happened to the rest of them.

I raked my hands through my hair as I tried to see the positive side in all of this. All I could hope was that Derik had gotten the footage on that camera. If he hadn't then all of this would've been for nothing.

"God I'm starving..." Melissa groaned.

Nearly jumping out of the chair I realized she was coming too. "Melissa you scared the shit out of me!"

"Sorry," she mumbled.

I settled back into my chair and scooted closer to her. "How do you feel?"

"Tingly," she nodded, and I figured it was her painkillers. They must be wearing off.

Up until now I hadn't realized how worried I had been over her. It was unfamiliar. Usually I only cared about a handful of people. That being Anna, Derik, and Willi, but Melissa had somehow joined that group. Prioritizing her health hadn't been planned on my behalf.

She moved to sit up but I protested, "You should lay back down."

She ignored me, hitting the button to call the nurse. "It's the red one, right?"

After she lied back down her head turned towards me. I had all of her attention and no idea what to do with it. My skin grew hot.

She broke the silence first. "How long have you been here?"

"Not long," I answered, "I wanted to relieve Willi."

"And make sure I wasn't dead," she mumbled in response. Her head turned away from me then. A pang of guilt tearing through my chest.

"Yeah," I forced, unsure of how to talk about this. "But don't think that I'm strictly here out of guilt, because that's not true."

She took a deep breath. "I know."

Her eyes met mine again, this time softer than before. No longer were they hard as steel. Now they were clouded with vulnerability. Much like how I felt right about now.

"You try to act tough," she stated, "Like death doesn't affect you. But I saw the look in your eyes last night. I saw the fear. You were scared of me dying."

There was no hiding it anymore. She was right. The idea of weakness was never appealing, and death was hard for anyone to handle, but last night had showed me something. All of a sudden Melissa was important to me and I didn't know how I felt about it.

Nothing more was said on the matter as the nurse stuck her head in and agreed to grab Melissa food. There was still tension of things left unsaid, but I wasn't sure what else to say. Maybe there was really nothing more to be said and I was just overanalyzing like I usually did. Yeah, that was probably it.

Eventually she broke the silence again. "So, I have a question."

I just stared at her. "What's that?"

"Do you still not trust me?"

Her question punched me in the gut. The desperation she tried to hide was noticeable to only me and her. It managed to amplify the guilt I was already coping with.

"I do trust you," I answered. It was true. How could I not after last night? I had pinned Melissa as a coward but she had proved me wrong. And I was glad she had stayed around to do so. Redemption looked good on her.

I caught a glimpse of her smiling as the nurse walked back in with a tray of food, interrupting our moment. As much as I would've despised having one of those with Melissa a week ago, today was different. It would be from now on.

After today I decided maybe it was best to partways with the NIA. Maybe I wasn't meant to be a hero. Maybe I was just meant tobe there for my sister and live my life. The risk no longer seemed worth it.And I was sure that Willi and Derik would agree with me this time.

* * *

After the job gone wrong on the freighter everything had quieted down. Not that I minded, because everyone had agreed it was best to let it go. But Chapman's silence after the whole thing made me uneasy, and I seemed to be the only one who cared. I couldn't shake the feeling that something was going on, and without knowing what Derik got on camera I wouldn't know if that job had been for nothing.

The passing days had allowed me to overthink as I spent time with Anna. Derik and Willi kept themselves busy with odd jobs like construction or helping move heavy equipment, and Melissa was home in recovery. She hadn't showed her face once after that night and I found myself thinking about her often.

Now it was mid-July and everything was too quiet for comfort. I still hadn't gotten any answers out of Derik about that night and letting it go wasn't easy.

That's when he walked through the front door with grocery bags. "Mind helping me with some of these?"

I agreed, heading outside to retrieve the rest while he disappeared into the kitchen. It was times like these, when it was just us, that I found myself wanting to bring that night back up. After almost two weeks it was long behind us. But it still ached fresh in my mind.

Eventually I was helping him prep for the barbeque in silence. The tension between us was thick. I knew I wasn't the only one that felt uneasy after that night. He was just better at ignoring it.

"So, do you find it weird that Chapman hasn't reached out to us in over almost two weeks?" I asked.

"Yeah," Derik admitted, "But maybe it's a good thing. Maybe he doesn't need us anymore."

I just nodded. I wanted to bring it up so bad it was killing me, but I knew better. "Do you think you got what they needed?"

His hand hesitated while chopping a bell pepper. He knew what I was getting at. My blood was hot as it rushed through my veins. This was my third attempt to talk about that night and Derik was still funny over it.

"I believe I did. There were only two people in the room. Identifying their guy should've been easy." His tone grew defensive, "But I couldn't get anything else considering you caused a scene."

I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing. "So are you ever gonna tell me why you were so eager to dismiss me?"

He continued to slice away in silence, pretending as if he hadn't heard my question. Annoyance bubbled in my stomach. Why was he still doing this?

I started again, "Derik-"

"Because I needed someone to watch the guard," he interrupted. He was lying.

"The guard had no idea we were there. You didn't want me anywhere near the window," I stated. "Why?"

"Because."

"Are you serious-?"

He stopped cutting and faced me. Anger oozed from his eyes. It was intimidating, I'd give him that, but I wasn't backing down this time.

"I'm in charge Alexa. And you needed to be reminded of that. I call the shots because I know what's safest for the group." He paused, and I felt as if I had opened Pandora's box. "You accepted Chapman's offer on behalf of everyone without consulting us. You let your excitement get the best of you. That's not leadership. That's stupidity."

It was quiet again. Derik had spoken to me like that only a handful of times. And I understood he was pissed. But there was a look in his eyes... a look that said he wasn't telling me something.

My head shook in disbelief. "You're telling me all of this happened because you wanted to show authority over me? I thought we were a team."

"We are a team," he claimed, "But teams work together. They make decisions together. Remember that."

Willi knocked on the door, pulling us out of conversation. My hands shook with rage as I took a deep breath, stepping away from Derik. This would have to wait till later.

I left the kitchen. I opened the front door and let my friends inside, hoping they didn't see the anger on my face. Willi's wife and son greeted me, leaving Melissa to walk in last, her arm still resting in a sling. My heart sighed in relief at her presence.

I smiled, "Hey."

"Hey," she answered. "So have you heard anything from Chapman?"

I shook my head. "No, I haven't."

"Then I'll take that as good news."

"Why's that?"

"Because it means they've found something."

All of us were coming to the same conclusion. That Chapman had found something in the footage and no longer needed our help. Maybe this was all finally past us. Or maybe we were just being too optimistic.

This couldn't be the end of the road. We knew way too much for him to just let us go. It didn't make sense.

"What are you thinking?" Melissa asked.

I shrugged. "Do you honestly think Chapman's done with us? After everything we did? After all we know?"

She didn't verbally answer. She didn't need to. Her eyes said everything I needed to know. "We can only hope."

It's not that I enjoyed being involved in dangerous things like Chapman's investigation. But I was. And it was when I was helping Chapman that I actually felt a sense of purpose. Like I was doing something worthwhile with my life. I couldn't be the only one to feel that way. The others had to feel it too, right?

Melissa broke the silence. "So where's Anna?"

I snapped out of my thoughts. "Uh she spent the day with one of her friends."

"I like her," Melissa admitted. "She seems more mature than most fourteen year olds."

I sighed heavily. "She is."

Melissa glanced at me, and I knew she was about to ask something personal. This time I wouldn't mind answering.

"That sounded like it bothers you."

"It does," I confessed.

"Why?"

I leaned back into the couch. "Because I know she worries about me, even when she's gone. She shouldn't have to deal with that kind of stuff. And I can't help but feel guilty for putting her through it."

I had no idea why I was admitting this to Melissa, or why I felt compelled to open up to her. But acknowledging how I felt aloud was nice.

"Well I don't think Anna blames you," Melissa answered. "Not that we've talked about it or anything... but at the end of the day she's your sister. And she loves you."

I dropped my head and stared at my hands that were folded in my lap. For some reason her words comforted me, even if it was only a little bit.

"Thanks," I responded. "She likes you too, by the way. Probably more than me."

Melissa shoved me. "That's not true."

My phone buzzed in my pocket, Anna's name popping up on the screen. I answered, "Hey."

"Would you mind coming get me?" Anna asked.

"I thought you wanted to stay till eight?"

"I don't want to miss the barbeque."

"Fine," I agreed, "I'll be there in ten."

"Okay," she said. Then she hung up.

I stood to leave while Melissa peered up at me. "Leaving so soon?" she joked.

"I have to go get Anna," I said, wondering if she wanted to keep me company. "Do you wanna come?"

"You haven't grown sick of me yet?"

I just smiled, "Come on."

We excused ourselves and climbed into Derik's car. After two weeks of not being with Melissa it felt oddly comforting to have her in my company. Of course, I wouldn't tell her that. But a small part of me hoped she felt the same.

I could feel her eyes on me while I stared at the road. The ball of nerves in my stomach began to tighten. The atmosphere in the car changed.

"So where are your parents?" Melissa asked. "If you don't mind me asking..."

I wanted to tell her that I did mind, and that it wasn't any of her business. That had always been my natural reaction. To shut down when my personal life was brought up in conversation. But it wasn't like that with her. At least not anymore.

"Mom's in rehab," I answered, "Dad left when I was eleven."

She fell silent for a minute before responding. "How long has your mom been in rehab?"

"In and out for almost three years. But the six-month program ends this month." Why was I saying all of this? Was she just curious or did she actually care? I wanted to believe the latter.

"Do you go see her?"

I nodded, "Yea. We went see her not long ago. She's doing well."

I watched Melissa silently. She peered out of the window in thought. A feeling of sadness washed over me as I realized Melissa was alone. She wasn't just nosy. She was asking because she was lonely.

"When she finally comes home... maybe you can meet her," I suggested. "I think she'd like you."

A smile grew across her face and it felt good to know I had done that. But our moment ended quickly as I pulled up into Holly's driveway and Anna appeared at the door.

My sister threw Melissa a smile before she climbed inside the car and greeted me. I felt a small hint of jealousy but knew I couldn't blame Anna for enjoying Melissa's company because I found myself doing the same.

We made it back to Derik's just in time, the barbeque well underway. It felt nice to have everyone over because it gave me a sense of family. The only thing missing was mom.

As we sat outside the summer wind whipped around us. It wasn't hot anymore since the sun had gone down and I was grateful because that allowed us to eat in peace. The conversation was light and everyone was enjoying themselves. Even Melissa, whom I was watching from across the table.

Light gleamed in her eyes. A sense of happiness radiated from her, and I knew this was something she didn't experience often. The excitement she exhibited made her glow, and as she finished the story she was retelling I found myself captivated. Were these feeling supposed to terrify me?

My trance was interrupted when her eyes connected with mine. My cheeks suddenly grew hot. I quickly switched my attention over to my sister.

"Alexa," Derik addressed, "Would you mind going get the dessert?"

I nodded eagerly, knowing the embarrassment I felt from being caught staring at Melissa by Melissa was driving me to escape. "Sure," I agreed.

I fled into the kitchen, my heart already pounding in my head. Why did I feel like a teenager all of sudden? Like I couldn't stand to be around my crush for a second longer. I didn't like it at all. Not because it was unfamiliar, but because the feelings were reappearing with Melissa. Out of everyone, why her?

As soon as I thought I was alone the backdoor opened again. "Need help?" Melissa offered.

I refused, "No, I think I can handle it."

Before I could even begin cutting the pie my finger touched the pan, heat singing my skin. I pulled back in pain, more embarrassment settled over me.

Melissa giggled next to me. "Yeah you look like you're handling it well." She grabbed a towel with her free hand and held the pan still for me to cut. "Are you this stubborn with everyone?"

"I don't know what you mean," I answered, occupying myself with the pie.

"With people offering you their help," she responded.

This time I looked up, my gaze connecting with hers. I felt my skin heat up under her stare. I decided not to respond further.

She continued with her questions. "Can I ask you something?"

"You ask me that a lot," I replied. I was trying so hard not to show much emotion but she probably saw right through it.

"I know."

I finished up with the dessert. "What?"

"Why haven't you told Willi and Derik the truth?"

How was I going to answer this question? In all honesty, I had yet to figure out the answer myself. At one time I had wanted to, but things had happened and my reasons had changed. At first I had believed I would never see her again. Then I felt as if ratting her out would just stir up old drama. And now... well now I had a soft spot for her.

Instead I lied. "I just feel like it's past us."

"You could've told them earlier," she claimed. "But you didn't."

"Yea," I agreed. I knew she was right. What I didn't know was why she even cared in the first place. Shouldn't she just be grateful I hadn't told them?

The silence we shared allowed me to reflect. The universe had basically forced me to give her a second chance. Usually that wasn't my thing, but now I was glad she had proved me wrong.

"I'm still waiting..." she teased. A tiny smile filled with hope stretched across her lips.

Eventually I gave in. "I just figured I wouldn't see you again, and that was enough to let it go." I paused before continuing, "Then Monroe showed up and things were happening too fast... and bringing it back up would've been counterproductive."

By now we were both facing each other. Her eyes refused to break contact and there was a hint of pink on her cheeks. At times like this I wished I could read her mind.

"Thank you," she answered. Then her eyes fell from mine. "But how do you feel about me now?"

I could feel my pulse in my head. My palms were sweaty and my stomach was tight. It had been so long since I had found myself in this type of situation. Where a pretty girl was interested enough to ask me questions and seemed to enjoy my company. It flattered me.

"I'm grateful that you're here," I confessed. My guard was down and I knew Melissa could tell.

She smiled again. A wide smile that caused her dimples to show. The red on her cheeks deepened as her eyes finally reached mine again. And for the first time in a long time, I felt something other than emptiness.

Then three loud knocks at the front door pulled us out of our moment. Melissa jumped as I turned away from her. Who the hell would be here at this time of night? But I didn't have to think long because there was only one person it could be.

I walked to the door. My hand trembled against the handle as I hesitated to open it. Melissa stood beside me and waited. Chapman was here, almost two weeks without any word, to rain on our parade. I knew I shouldn't open the door, but what other choice did I have? I twisted the door knob.

There he was. Suit and tie with his head tilted in thought. Monroe stood next to him, tall and mighty. Both of them stared back, examining me and Melissa.

"Heard there was a party," Chapman joked. "We brought dessert."

"Thanks, but we have that covered," I answered. He didn't seem to like my sarcasm.

"I figured you of all people would be happy to see us," he answered.

"Yeah well, you could've picked a better time."

"Like when?"

"Like two weeks ago," I hissed.

I knew being bitter wouldn't solve the problem. After all, I had agreed to help him close the case. This meant he wasn't finished, and he needed us again.

"Why don't you go get the other two," Chapman suggested to Melissa, who was stiff next to me. She nodded and disappeared into the house. "So why the sudden change of heart?"

I shook my head. "Melissa got shot. She could've died, Chapman."

"That wasn't our fault and you know it," Monroe stated.

It didn't take long for the other three to join us outside, Derik and Willi looking concerned.

"What's this about?" Derik asked.

"It's about you and your team helping us, like you agreed to do."

Derik glared at me. "We didn't agree to anything. Alexa did. So whatever she agreed to is invalid."

My heart dropped. If he believed my decisions to be invalid, did he also believe I was invalid?

"You followed her onto the last job," Monroe said. "You didn't have to."

"You know damn well we had to," Willi growled.

Chapman just looked between us, unamused by our disagreement. I couldn't blame Derik and Willi for being guarded. Not only had Chapman disappeared for two weeks, but he had also broken the promise of payment. He had used us.

Chapman's eyes locked with mine, and then traveled over everyone else. "Alexa told me information wasn't enough, so I brought something more up your alley."

Monroe retrieved a duffel bag from the backseat of Chapman's car. He opened it and allowed all of us to gawk at what was inside.

"One hundred thousand dollars," Chapman claimed. "For your team's efforts."

Derik eyed the money like a lion to a deer. My jaw was probably on the floor. And Melissa and Willi just stared at Chapman in disbelief. Twenty-five-thousand dollars each was more than enough. I could send Anna to college...

Derik reached for the bag but Monroe pulled it back. My fantasy ended.

"But we have another favor," Chapman finished.

"Of course you do," I answered.

Chapman just gave me a smile before explaining. "The official you identified on that ship wasn't an official at all. He was just an agent. But he's linked to the executive director of the GIB. We can't make an arrest based on what we found on the ship, and we don't want to arrest the agent anyway. We need harder evidence on the director. Something to guarantee a window of opportunity to prove him guilty."

"Don't tell me we have to get into the GIB's headquarters again," Derik muttered.

"Not the headquarters," Chapman stated, "We need you to break into the director's personal computer."

All four of us looked at each other, as if we were making sure we had all heard the same thing. Chapman wanted us to break into someone's house and steal personal files?

"You want us to steal his laptop or something?" Willi asked.

"No, just copy his hard drive onto external storage," he suggested.

I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather just steal the laptop."

"Do we look like techs to you?" Derik shook his head, "We're thieves, not hackers."

Chapman grew impatient with our questions. "I'm sure you know someone who could help you with that."

Everyone fell silent. He was referring to Victoria, whom we hadn't had any contact with since the bank job. She had to know by now that we were safe, but none of us had personally contacted her in fear of people finding her. Guess it was time to drop by and say hello.

"We told you Victoria wasn't a part of this," Derik defended.

"You wanna get paid or not?" Monroe asked. The atmosphere grew more hostile.

I was about to answer when Derik's eyes found mine, silently commanding me not to speak. There was no way we could financially refuse the offer, but Derik wouldn't allow me to accept for the group

"Willi?" Derik asked.

Willi glanced at Derik and then back to the bag of money. He needed it desperately. We all did.

Willi just nodded. "I'm in."

"Me too," Melissa answered.

It was settled.

"We'll do it," Derik accepted the offer.

"Great. Have your team at the headquarters by six."

Then Chapman and Monroe climbed in their car and left. The four of us were alone again.

Willi began to freak out. "Do you honestly think Vic's going to help us after everything that's happened? You're gonna have to tell her the truth, and when you do she'll refuse to get involved. Derik this isn't-"

"Willi," Derik interrupted, "We need the money. Leave dealing with Vic to me, you just worry about being here tomorrow bright and early." He turned to Melissa, "You too."

Then he went into the house without even looking at me. Willi followed behind him.

"Well," Melissa started, "Tonight didn't really go as planned."

I felt so guilty it hurt. "Yeah."

"Hey, this one will be easy. Don't beat yourself up."

"You do realize this is happening because of me, right?" I stated bitterly.

I was taking my anger out on her again. I knew it was wrong. This was my fault, not hers.

I turned to go inside, seeing my sister's bedroom lit up. She was standing in the window, peering down at us. Had she seen everything? If she had I knew I was in big trouble, but her questions would have to wait.

We had bigger worries now.