As nervous as I was for our job later tonight, I found myself more nervous about facing my own mother in a few minutes. We hadn't seen her in a while, and that gave me even more guilt to deal with. I didn't know what I would say to her, or how to go about explaining why we hadn't visited in so long, but there was no backing out now.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked.

"Just a little nervous," I confessed.

"You know she'll be happy to see us."

"Happy to see you." I shook my head, "But me... I'm not so sure."

Putting mom in her last round of rehab hadn't been easy. Six months was a long time. But I had made sure to put her in the best program possible. She still tried to fight it, claiming that she would better herself and promised she wouldn't relapse again but I had smelt the alcohol on her breath. I had found empty bottles in the outside dumpster. And I had known she was lying.

I was still convinced that if Anna hadn't begged our mother to go then she would've never gone back.

We made it to the front lobby of the building. "We're here to see Eva Cortez."

The woman just smiled, light wrinkles appeared on her face. She seemed sweet, and maybe even relieved that mom finally had visitors. "Last time I saw her she was in the studio."

I nodded, faintly remembering where that was. The last time I had been here was the first visitation day. I had come alone since Anna was in school and mom hadn't been happy to see me. I hadn't visited her since.

We found our way to the door labeled Paint Studio but I hesitated to open it. I shouldn't be this nervous. It was just mom. She would be happy to see me, right?

Then Anna's hand slipped into mine for reassurance. Her other opening the door.

Mom's back came into view. She was painting, which was something she must've picked up since the last time I was here. She hadn't noticed our presences yet, and I didn't want to disturb her.

The painting was nearly finished. A vivid garden stretched over the entire canvas set on the easel in front of her. Mom continued to stroke shades of yellow into a few of the unfinished flowers. Her hand was steady with the paintbrush. No longer did they shake from weakness.

Anna knocked on the door.

Mom turned, and those identical hazel eyes she shared with Anna locked onto me. I stood tall as my palms grew sweaty. A blanket of guilt fell over my shoulders as my mom set down her palette and brush.

Then she walked over, her slender arms draped over my shoulders and pulled me into her. The familiar scent of the perfume I always bought her for her birthday filled my senses. I closed my eyes at the memory. A burning sensation rose through my throat and to my eyes.

Unable to recall the last time I had hugged my own mother I hesitantly reciprocated. Tears clouded my vision when I opened my eyes. What I could see was the time before dad had left us, playing back like old family videos. It had been mom and I from the beginning. She had been my best friend while dad came and went like the seasons. Anna's birth had only strengthened that bond, but when dad left it had ripped us apart.

But something was different this time. Something was better.

Mom pulled back. Tears were rimming her eyes. Soft hands cupped my face as her lips trembled. "Lex... I'm so sorry..."

Suddenly I knew what forgiveness felt like. It didn't erase the wrong she had done, but it allowed me to no longer live in the past. It would let me to close the gaping hole that had been burned into my heart ages ago. Forgiving mom allowed me to breathe without such unbearable pain.

"It's okay," I answered. I meant every word. But forcing the words through the tightness in my throat caused my eyes to burn even harder.

With that mom pulled Anna into our embrace, a small moment of completeness settled over me. I wondered if they felt it too.

This time would be different. I could feel it.

"God Anna! You're almost as tall as your sister," mom nearly shouted.

Anna beamed. "I'm probably gonna pass her up soon."

"No you won't," I countered. I didn't like the thought of Anna being taller than me.

Anna walked up to the easel that held the painting. She was careful not to touch it considering it was still wet. "Mom, this painting is amazing."

"If you two stay for a while it'll dry and you can take it home," she offered. Anna and I loved the idea. "So tell me what's been going on?"

Anna looked at me with an uneasiness before stating, "I have a boyfriend."

Anna had a boyfriend? And I didn't know about it?

"You what?" I asked, but mom's excitement overshadowed my shock.

"Oh really? What's his name?"

My sister refused to meet my gaze. "His names Matt."

I wanted to be a tiny bit upset with Anna for leaving that huge detail out, but I couldn't blame her. I wasn't the one to be mad for kept secrets. And her having a boyfriend wasn't that big a deal. But I would have to meet him. Soon.

"Is he cute?" I asked, hoping she saw my genuine interest.

She smiled warmly. "He's super cute."

Mom and Anna fell into conversation as if they had never been apart. It made me happy. But still my heart wasn't completely whole, and I feared it never would be due to dad's disappearance. But this had helped a lot.

Then suddenly some of the heavy guilt fell off of my shoulders. I took a deep breath and smiled.

* * *

"Okay, so how are we doing this?" I asked.

"By boat," Chapman informed. "When you get close enough Monroe will cut the main motor and use a smaller one to stay undetected. I mapped out the best possible entry zone, and I'll be watching from the tower and guiding you through the ship."

"How will you know where to direct us?" Derik included.

"I'm about to head out to the docks right now, and I'll be watching them the entire time. The ship should be getting there within the next forty-five minutes."

"Then we need to go soon," Monroe stated.

Chapman hurried things along, handing us our usual earpieces and mics and sliding all four of us handguns.

My eyes met his as he nodded. "Just in case."

The car ride to our boat lasted a bit longer than I had predicted. But once we made it Monroe led us down a shaky dock over the dark waters of the Pacific. My anxiousness heightened at the sight of our "boat", which was actually more of a dingy than anything.

I groaned as I stepped in. "You couldn't have gotten us something bigger?"

"The bigger the boat the louder it is," Monroe answered.

I helped Melissa onto the shaky surface, listening to the salt water slap against the thin metal. I couldn't decide whether I would rather a boat ride in this thing or a ride in the chopper.

We skimmed over the dark water, the hot wind whipped my hair around my face. A slight easiness rose from the salt water like fog, managing to calm me down just a bit. Monroe cut the main engine and started up the smaller one, guiding us closer to our destination.

"I see a ladder." Willi pointed. I squinted through the dark and saw what he was talking about.

Then Chapman's voice rang through our ears. "Can you all hear me?"

We replied in unison.

We made it to the ladder, Willi tying the rope around one of the metal bars to keep Monroe in place. The heaviness in my stomach weighed me down. I tried not to dwell on it.

"We've made it to the dock," Derik stated.

Chapman came through, "Okay. There's a guard standing at the end of the walkway to board the ship. You'll need to take him out. Quietly."

I watched Willi head up first, and then I followed. I looked back to see Melissa watching us from the boat, awaiting our signal.

Willi and I spotted the guard who was facing away from us. My friend inched closer as I held my breath. My heart pounded in my head. My hands clenched in fists at my sides while I crouched in the shadows.

Then with one swift move Willi had the guard in a sleeper hold. The guard struggled for only a minute before going limp in Willi's arms. Silently I wondered if the man was dead. I just really didn't want to kill anyone tonight.

I signaled for Derik and Melissa. "Did you kill him?"

Willi laid the man in the shadows where he wouldn't be found. "No, but he won't wake up anytime soon. Unless someone finds him."

When Melissa and Derik were at our sides Chapman's voice was back. "Okay, head up the ramp."

We stepped with caution. I wondered if my friends could hear my heart beat. Instinctually my hand slowly ran over the gun that was in the waistband of my pants. The thought of using it made the heaviness in my stomach worse.

"I saw them head for the back of the ship. There's a small office that they disappeared into," Chapman specified.

I turned my head to see, realizing it was a long walk. There was cargo stacked a mile high, preventing us from seeing what lied behind every turn. It was almost like a giant maze, made to confuse us.

Chapman, our eyes and ears, talked to us. "Everything looks clear until you get closer to the office. There's a guard standing at the foot of the stairs. Another is standing at the door."

Derik started first, the rest of us quietly fell behind him. If anything went wrong and we got separated, getting off of this ship would be a nightmare. It was massive. I tried to ignore the bad feeling in my gut.

Derik stopped at an opening, "Chapman, is it clear to cross?"

"Clear."

We continued on, slowly approaching our target. My legs trembled with adrenaline, aching to run away. What had I gotten us into? This was beyond dangerous. This was insane.

"Almost to the guard, Derik," Chapman stated. 

Other than the sound of the ocean slapping against the boat it was silent. The atmosphere was eerie. The dark ship made it even worse. And for a split second the thought of dying here crossed my mind. I shook it away, knowing I wouldn't let that happen.

Then the guard came into view. Willi moved around us and towards him, my breath shaking as it flowed over my lips. Was it possible for a heart to fail from too much adrenaline?

Willi grabbed him. A second sleeper hold brought the large man down as Willi held him tight. After another minute the guard was limp. Willi dragged him underneath the staircase and out of sight.

We proceeded up the stairs, avoiding the guard at the front door.

"There's a window around the corner," Chapman said. "You should be able to see inside there."

Derik crept along the wall, Willi close behind. Melissa and I stayed farther back. I watched Derik peer inside, staring a little longer than I was comfortable with. I moved in to look too.

But he held his hand out, stopping me. "Lex, give me the camera. You and Melissa go watch the guard at the door."

I furrowed my brow, stepping towards the window again but Derik's expression forced me to stop. "Why can't I do it? I'm a better photographer than you anyway." The joke didn't make him laugh.

Derik stuck out his hand. "Just give me the damn camera and do as I say."

By now Willi and Melissa had gotten closer to us. I could feel a fire in my stomach. An anger directed strictly at Derik.

"Alexa go watch the guard while Derik gets what we need," Willi agreed.

Then Chapman cut through again, "What's going on?"

Melissa snatched the camera out of my hand. She set it in Derik's as I looked at her in anger. Annoyance rose like wildfire. Was this payback for accepting the job without their permission? Why were they treating me like a child? I didn't understand and it was driving me crazy. I just wanted to see what we were here for!

"Do as I say," Derik ordered. His dark eyes scowled at me through the dark. They held an unreadable expression.

I turned, heading back towards the boat where Monroe waited. Once again Derik had made me feel inadequate, as if I wasn't qualified enough to do the job. Taking his anger out on me at home was one thing, but embarrassing me in front of everyone else was unnecessary. And if he wanted to treat me like a child then that's exactly how I would act.

I descended the stairs as Chapman asked through my ear. "Alexa what are you doing?"

"I'm going back to the boat. They obviously don't need me."

I stepped quietly, knowing that I could find my way back without Chapman's help. It seemed to be deserted anyway.

"Go back to Derik immediately-"

Something grabbed my ankle, stopping my momentum and sending me forward down the stairs. I tumbled violently as I landed on my back. The air in my lungs vanished. My head throbbed from the impact. As I opened my eyes to assess the situation I found myself peering up into the menacing gaze of the guard Willi had supposedly knocked out.

I trembled as the barrel of his gun stared me down. His finger was gripping the trigger. "Estás muerta."

A gunshot rang out as my eyes squeezed shut. There was no pain. It was silent except for the faint echo of the gun. Was I dead? Could I open my eyes? I was terrified to do so.

Then someone grabbed my arm. "Alexa get up! We have to go!"

For the third time in the past week an alarm sounded, giving away our presence. No. I had screwed up. This was my fault. Melissa pulled me off of the ground.

"You shot him," I stated in shock.

"Yes, now run!"

I turned to take the previous path but the guard at the top of the staircase emerged. His gun pointed down at me and Melissa. She tugged me into one of the narrow walkways between the freight cars as his bullets hit against the metal.

"Alexa what did you do?" Chapman shouted.

Running with my head down I followed behind Melissa. I prayed she knew where she was going. We took another sharp turn, dodging more bullets. They were close behind.

I was breathing heavy. My pulse was throbbing from adrenaline. This ship was a maze and I was suddenly afraid we wouldn't make it out alive. I assumed Derik and Willi had made it back to the boat without us. Voices echoed down every turn we went to take. Where had they all come from?

We rounded another corner and I was hit from the side. I fell forward and my head spun. The sound of Melissa struggling pulled me back to reality. A guard wrestled against her for the gun in her hands.

I pulled mine and shot.

He screamed in pain. Melissa's gun clattered against the floor of the ship. She climbed up but he grabbed her ankle, causing her to fall back onto her knees. I brought my foot down over his wrist, a sick snap filled my ears.

Pulling her up and away from the guard we ran for it. Another man emerged from between the freight carts.

We turned, blindly running into another runway. More gunshots rang out but the darkness shielded us. My heart pounded in my head as I told myself to keep running. We had to make it out of here. I couldn't let Melissa get killed over my mistakes.

"This way," I ordered.

My hand was gripping hers as I pulled her around another corner. A dead end. Two freight cars stood tall on both sides as we overlooked the black ocean. The yelling grew closer.

My voice trembled. "We have to jump."

Fear flashed in her eyes as she nodded. Without any more hesitation we did just that.

I launched myself into the air. My body free falling towards the darkness below. Holding my breath, I prepared for the cold to wash over me as my stomach dropped. We must've fallen at least two stories before the sound of splashing water echoed through the night.

My first reaction was to come up for air but Melissa gripped my arm. She tugged me through the water and towards her. My back pressed against the metal of the boat while she forced me to stay under.

Bullets whizzed through the water. The faint sound was almost drowned out by the pounding in my head. We slowly moved along the boat's wall and out of the danger zone while my lungs screamed for air.

Eventually I couldn't hold my breath any longer, emerging at the surface and gasping. Melissa did the same next to me, a look of fear on her face.

"A-Are you okay?" I trembled.

She was shaking too. "Y-Yes."

My arm wrapped around her for comfort. We needed to make it around the front of the ship. All I could pray was that the guys had made it out alive. I couldn't help but fear the worst. And my ear piece was ruined from the water, so there was no means of communication to Chapman. God, what had I gotten us into?

"A-Alexa... I think... I've b-been..."

"It's gonna be okay," I coaxed, pulling her along through the water. Where were the others?

That's when the small boat made its way through the dark. Willi shined a light onto us as they grew closer. They knew to be quiet but my heart was screaming with joy.

I helped Melissa get in first. Willi and Derik reached down to grab each of her arms to pull her up. When they lifted she let out a strained whimper, as if it had taken her everything not to scream out. Before I could even be helped into the boat Willi left Derik's side.

Derik helped me up without Willi, and before I was able to ask what was going on the bad news was announced.

"She's been shot," Willi stated, kneeling near Melissa.

My heart dropped. I moved over towards her as Monroe quickly started up the main engine to get us back to shore. Preparing myself for the worst I peered at her through the dark.

The bullet had luckily missed her shoulder, but it had still torn through plenty of the muscle on her arm. The blood mixed in with her soaked clothes, making it hard to see the damage. But the pain in her eyes told me everything.

I whispered, "I'm so sorry..."

She was breathing heavy as she tried to focus on me. The wound didn't look too fatal, but if the bullet had grazed an artery... We were lucky the hospital wasn't far from where we were.

She just shook her head. "I guess we're even now."

All I could do was nod. Tears burned their way down my cheek and camouflaged themselves with the ocean water. I couldn't let her die. Not after she had saved my life.

She went to close her eyes but I continued to speak. "Melissa, look at me."

She did as I said. Her eyes locked onto mine as she went to talk, but decided against it. What was she going to say?

We made it back to the dock, Willi took her in his arms and carried her briskly to the vehicle. The ride to the hospital was quiet as Monroe sped through Los Angeles. Within five minutes we were pulling into the emergency exit.

I tried to follow Willi and Melissa into the hospital but Derik held me back. I couldn't leave her. This was my fault. I had to stay and make sure she lived. Oh God, I needed her to live...

Derik held my arms. "Come. I'll get you home."

"N-No... I'm staying here..."

Then he took control of me. Those dark eyes peered into mine. "Alexa listen to me!" he pleaded. "This is what almost got her killed! Your stubbornness."

I stopped fighting him. He was right. He was always right and I was wrong. The pain I felt draped over me like a wet blanket, weighing me down and causing a deep sense of disgust to rise in my stomach. Tears began streaming down my face. The dams were breaking and there was no way to stop them.

Derik guided me back into the vehicle, ordering Monroe back to his house.

I shook violently in Derik's arms that were wrapped around me. None of this should've happened.

"She's gonna be alright..." Derik cooed.

"It's my fault... If she dies, it's all my fault..."

He pulled me closer to his chest but the warmth he gave did nothing. I didn't deserve it. I should've been the one to get shot. Not Melissa.

I knew if she died Willi would never forgive me, and I wouldn't blame him. Because if she died I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.