I have a slight obsessive compulsive disorder.

And I obsess over you constantly. I hate saying that- it sounds like such a negative thing- you consistently being on my mind as if I could help it, as if I can't physically control myself and my thoughts will lead to something physically unreciprocated.

I wish I could make it stop. I wish I could release you from my head. I replay our old memories like I replay my favorite tv show series. I know how it ends but I want to know every moment again- maybe I will find new stuff I didn't realize the first time.

All I can think of is you calling me smart and making plans with me. Your light hair in the sunlight and the reflection off your glasses-your presence alone could blind me. The things you worked on you always showed me.

The fact that I know I need to stop makes it even harder to. I've known you so long, grown so found of you. How am I supposed to forget you? How am I supposed to stop a habit of I don't want to. There is no rehab facility for loving you.