Two weeks. Two weeks passed since Aunt Claire scolded everything out of Laya for being her usual troublemaking self, and Lillian for being irresponsible to accept a nightly hangout.
Claire didn't find out about Cozbi, or the bar though. All she thought of it was a dangerous act to sneak out nighttime.

The distance between Lillian and Laya spanned like Aunt Claire's caution did.
Laya didn't fail in distracting herself, though. She went out as rapidly as changing clothes; Aunt Claire thought she only went out alone for some air, but Lillian thought differently since that night-- especially after sleeping abnormal dreams.

"Lillian Lockett?" Aunt Claire startled the elder twin with a warm smile. Her body rested against the doorway, her arms crossed.

"Yeah?" Lillian replied, pulling her blanket aside. "You've been laying there for about an hour, something wrong?"

Lillian paused, confused what to reply, "You should hang outside often, like Laya" Claire adds, glancing at a corner as she left.

Maybe she was right.

Aunt Claire rarely advises something like this, especially the fact that they, the Lockett's, were always under attention.

Lillian could actually go out, if the gossips about them die out-- which is impossible when you think about it.

'But the gossips won't end, they never did' a voice in her head confirmed.

With a final look at her untouched jacket, Lillian slipped out into the alleys four in the evening, with the sun weakly winking upon her delicate face.

Her black sandals clapped against the rusty tiles, walking faster with each thought of freedom. Like any other person after pointless days, it was just a walk free of destination.

A leaf dropped from a youthful tree, Then she remembered her mother.

Claire said her name was Cassia- Cassia Lockett. It was nothing near normal to hear her mother's name from someone else, Lillian wished better ways of acknowledging this. The only memories she had of her mother was the family albums left for the twins to scramble in.
Laya was always forced to see a picture of her parents thanks to Lillian-- because after knowing one Monday evening that Cassia likes maple leaves and rainy days, Lillian only thought of rushing through the pictures to help her mind in imagining her mother smiling under the rain in autumn.

Maybe sharing her excitement with Laya could've helped her get over it, but it didn't.

The elder Lockett shared an empathy with her mom, since they were both known as the Lockett family's remaining hope in their own time. Cassia was married into the family to Nathan-- the twins' father; when the twins were on their way of birth, it was a fresh start for the Lockett's; but after Cassia's death, Lillian was considered like a heir besides a new hope.

Now, Lillian's eyes tingled-- it was a funny feeling before it began to sting, like the pain in your head when you jump off your bed right after waking up.
The leaf in front of her started to blurr, then her vision went blank.

In fact, everything went blank, except for Lillian herself-- and the little girl in front of her. Colors began to return, and small, baby-colored toys shielded around the little girl, inviting her to play with it.

"Lillian?" A female voice called. Lillian sharply turned, her face turning into full disbelief, staring in shock at the woman beside the girl.

Cassia Lockett.

Lillian's look moved turns from Cassia to the girl beside her. That girl was Lillian, Lillian's childhood.

Her eyes harshly return on Cassia, blurting her words with stutters, "Mom?"

Cassia stared in shock at her daughter, her hand masking her mouth. She wore a black dress that lenght at the tip of her knees, with classical old fashioned shoes matching it.

"Lilin!" She exclaimed, extending her arms. She was exactly how Lillian assumed her to be, energetic.

Her elegant, long arms ring around Lillian's dark hair.

"My little Lilin" Cassia whispered at the edge of her daughter's ear. Lillian froze, suddenly paying her ears to the awry name she was called with.

"I'm not...",

"Shh..." Cassia carresed Lillian's head before letting go to look at her daughter.

Looking at her mother up close, tears started growing like seeds in her round eyes, her lips harshly pressing against each other to avoid any tears in them.

"I'm not Lilin" Lillian finally protested, using a whisper as her tone.

Cassia lightly giggled, it sounded like the lullaby Lillian didn't listen to in years. "I know, Lillian" Cassia's warm, dry thumbs carress Lillian's temples in circles.

Lillian puffed in relief, resting assured her mother didn't mistake her. She was too deep in her relief to question the new name she was given.
She took the chance to demonstrate every feature her mother had: hooded eyes, round face, light freckles on her cheeks, chocolate-brown hair and a cheeky grin on her face.

"Where's dad?" Lillian asked without thinking, as if she saw her dad half an hour ago. Cassia giggled once more, as if a child questioned the whereabouts of a cookie jar.

"My considerate little Lilin" she softly pinched Lillian's cheeks, "You only remembered me" she added, a pinch of gloominess buried in her tone.

"It's time to go anyways" she bit her lower lip, her look darkening as she lowered her arms to hold Lillian's hand.

Cassia shyly smiled, weak tears below her eyes, knowing exactly what her next move was. "Mom, no" Lillian pushed her head away, squeezing her mother's hand like her life depended on it.

Everything was gone again, and hope cleared out like a blown candle.

"Lillian!" She was called for the second time, this time from a new voice filled with worry.

Even opening her eyes felt like a energy consuming move.

"Laya" Lillian called, blankly staring straight into the sky. Her lips were dry, cracking with blood as she gathered a pinch of strength to answer Laya,

"What happened, Lil?" Laya shaked her sister's shoulders, "Cassia" Lillian replied,

"Cassia, I saw her" she weakly shifted down into the ground, giving up on herself.

She could hear briefly, even if she passed out. Laya's loud train of questions barked at her after she closed her eyes, then Aunt Claire's stressed voice freaking out.
She never passed out, at least not before today. It was uncontrollable, like a painless version of a blade slitting into you and putting you to a forced sleep. It was a brilliant way to run from things though.

Her were closed shut- tightly; but the silky couch under her brushed against her arms, setting her awake even with shut eyes.
Her eyes half open- enough to see her surroundings. She was alone with a thin blanket over her, above a red couch in the living room.

Lillian keenly resumes her previous position as soon as she felt Aunt Claire approaching, the hot mug Claire carried on a tray reminded her of her recent outing, nauseous memory.

"She's trembling" Aunt Claire announced, the sound of her quickly slamming the tray down the table startled Lillian's sharpened ears right before her slippers clap away.

"You could give a hand, she's better with you" Aunt Claire's voice advised after minutes of disappearance,

"I really don't know, she just hit this biker kid and somehow got herself knocked over" Laya shrugged, her eyes rolling as she walked into the living room.

Footsteps pause, "Gosh, she's so pale!" Laya exclaimed, speeding to Lillian.

Lillian could hear her sister bending down beside her, desperate on breath. Her palms press against Lillian's forehead for a few moments,

"Ice cube, Claire, we got an ice cube" she furiously added, "Weren't you taking care of her?"

"Don't you raise your voice on me, grab her blanket from her bedroom, now" Aunt Claire harshly ordered, activating karma upon Laya's previous tone.

Laya surrendered into the stairways. But this time it was Aunt Claire's turn to bend beside Lillian,

"Lil, sweetie" she softly began, softly shaking Lillian's shoulders, "Aren't you going to wake up?" A hint of demand hid beneath her calm tone.

"Mhmm" Lillian softly opened her eyes, a sour look on her face as she acted.

It wasn't full acting though, she didn't fake some of the emotions she showcased.

"Oh, good. Drink this" Claire heaves, picking up the mug she left. Lillian calmly shifted in her place, gently settling in a seated position.

"Feeling better?" Aunt Claire asked as Lillian gulped her hot drink, She nodded.

"Don't get out of your place, I don't want a loose patient" Aunt Claire frowned, a small smile cheating on her expression.

"The bike hit hard, didn't it?"

The coffee nearly choked in Lillian's throat like a shocker. "Didn't see it coming, hit me hard" Lillian nodded. "I didn't think anyone would faint from hitting a bike" Aunt Claire stood, shrugging her doubts away.

Why would Laya lie? What would've happened if she was honest?
Although Lillian was healthy, her body still lightly trembled, cold on the surface. The coffee obviously didn't change anything, drinking it to warm up was like trying to fight the wind.

But the mug in her palms was the only warm thing that kept her going on, even Laya's hands weren't as warm as usual, They were stiff with stress and worry, and confirmed it through Lillian the moment it brushed her forehead.

She set aside her thoughts, gazing at the vast window in front of her. The evening sun pierced through, it was as weak as Lillian was.

It was the first time she empathised with the sun.

"Claire, it's seven already, I'm out" Laya yelled from upstairs, her footsteps banging on to the stairs as she strides from the living room to the door.

Lillian shrinked into the couch, clots of her coffee yanking onto her blanket; it burned a bit, but besides Aunt Claire, who cared about stains?
Moments later, the door thud shut, and Lillian exhaled a breath.

"It's seven already" Laya's words revise. three hours ago. It was just three hours since she first decided to go out for some air– was it that short, when it felt like an entire day?

An urge in her head told her to follow Laya.

A rush of fresh air ran at her legs when she pulled her blanket aside; it was cool, like the oxygen of freedom you breath after setting your own cage open.
Lillian gave her best at quietly walking on her toes to her room. Although throughout the way she affirmed herself dozens of times that anyone would've waken up already by the sounds she made.

But lucky for her, Claire was recently a heavy sleeper.

By a glance at her pants, she realised they were a bit short— especially for someone who still trembled.
Lillian still rummaged through her wardrobe for something to wear, even when she already had a few things in mind for wearing.

In the end it was just a blue jacket and jeans, with a hand-watch that stopped ticking a month ago.

Lillian didn't pay heed about anyone waking up from her footsteps when she was on her way to leave, maybe because the fresh air outside erased her alarmness.

The sky got darker, and stars began to dance.
All brought Lillian down to the streets; a place where the shops gleam— and people gather round with eyes fueled with excitement; Lillian wondered how long would it take to have their shining eyes snatched away from them, and replaced with her own gloomy eyes.

Kicking a rock, Lillian speeded up, aggressively walking as if she had a destination. The streets she lived in for years, now was a complicated maze; though knowing she'd someday find her way out of it; Lillian couldn’t help but wonder what would she feel that moment about what happened— what would the future Lillian think or do after she finds her way out?

Questions faded her mind, and the night just begun to collect stars.

Trying to forget something— was more painful than remembering it; you have to remember it again and again to forget it.
Lillian was incapable of figuring things out for a long time; she allowed the emptiness she felt to drain her, to suck the happiness out of her soul the moment she thought it ended.

Haven’t most of us been like Lillian?

Her trance of trust ended— at the very least, Lillian ticked away one of her mistakes. she let go, and now, she quite bravely set free her speed, allowing them to race faster than anytime before.

Unmistakable bravery and confidence marched the Lockett, like a bustling train on a sunny day. Fresh air blooms like cherry blossoms at her delicate skin, diving through dark strands of her hair and swimming into her mouth.
What she had in mind was as stated as a formula; she needed to go back, where it all began.

The bar's population doubled. Youngsters blocked round the entrance with cigarettes dangling like jewelries between their lips and fingers.

The rest of the crowd was grouped in circles at the messy yard, with at least one of them holding their phone's flashlights— and some with lighters as nasty grins cover their faces.

Lillian's hands tug at the edges of her skirt, pulling it lower. Pushing her jacket closer to her chest, she moved front.

Obnoxious music spills into the room as bodies carelessly hammer into each other.

Lillian began to feel her heartbeat along the music, and for a second— her mind went blank once more. For the first time in a while she questioned her actions, whether if any of it was right.

It was only a month– or weeks ago that Lillian almost considered herself a self-taught analyzer— one thing that slipped off her mind was the outside world.

She barely knew what other people are like, what their nature was; yet here she was, at a bar with a crowd she never met before, with a chance of her twin she no longer trusted, being between them.

It wasn’t surprising anymore to see that no one even glanced at her; it was only the cups of liquor and alcohol that splatter over her shoes.
Weak tears sprung to Lillian's eyes. It was as if the whole bar spinned around her freshly grown tears.

The counter at the end cleared a bit, enough to spot Carmen behind it. Swallowing the nagging lump in her throat, Lillian rose forward.