I was sweating, sticky, and hungry. Shifting a little, my gaze swept the rocky terrain. How much longer? Another fifteen minutes and I heard Jinx working carefully down the slope, keeping to cover best he could. It was quiet for several minutes then he called out.

"They've lit out! Two dead, but they took the bodies!"

I saw Coop ease slowly to his feet, warily looking around.

"How do you know there's two dead?" he called back.

"No one can lose this much blood and still be alive, an' there's two spots, one here an' one there, down the slope a bit."

"Lilli?" Coop started toward me as I slowly sat up, my muscles cramped.

He stepped around a large boulder and stopped short. I was standing up, brushing the dust from my skirt and blouse. I looked where he was staring, then back at him. He'd seen the canteen and the dark stain on the ground next to where I'd lain. His face paled a little.

"I'm not hurt, Coop, I'm all right," His gaze flicked to me, and my stomach flopped.

Coming forward, he took me in his arms, pulling me hard against his body, his face buried in my hair. I took a deep breath, smelling our sweat and dust, the faint burn of gun powder, and was glad to be alive. Slipping my arms around his lean waist, I felt his heart hammering against mine.

"If anything had happened to you..." his voice was a husky mutter.

"Don't talk like that. Nothing is certain Cooper, not this moment or the next." I moved back a little to put my hands on his face, looking into his eyes. "We have to live; we have to absorb everything we can, because we are guaranteed nothing. We're alright, and that's enough."

He kissed me then. When Jinx came upon us I was still locked in my husband's arms. I heard Jinx's footsteps back away then fade. He seemed to do that a lot lately.

"I want you back at the cabin," Coop whispered against my hair. "Them braves are huntin' for your scalp, Lilli. It'll be safer if you're inside the valley."

"I'm not afraid of them," but he would have no argument.

"They won't be happy 'til they have your hair, Lilli. Ever since you shamed them, word got out this is where young bucks go to make their manhood. Get to the cabin, and stay inside. If anyone comes through the door without announcing, shoot first, right through the door if you must."

"That's a little overkill isn't it?" I asked. He looked straight at me, his eyes flat.

"That's the general idea, honey."

Coop and Jinx watched the trail outside the valley as I swung into the saddle and started Grace toward the cabin. Pausing at the first shallow pool from the river to water her I got a drink for myself. I splashed the water on my face, then across the back of my neck, letting little rivulets run underneath my dress. It was refreshing after the burning heat of the sun.

The stable was cool when we got to it, and I dropped the saddle on the floor. Stripping off the blanket and bridle, I rubbed her down with a soft cloth I kept just for that reason. Grace leaned against my hands, grunting softly, her dainty ears swiveled back to hear my voice as I spoke to her.

"She's always loved that,"

Whirling around with a cry, a hard jolt of surprise pulse between my temples. Ranse stood there with a faint smile in his eyes, but his expression was somber. Dusty and trail worn, his clothing had faded to a nondescript color. He looked at me from under the low brim of his black hat, waiting. Heart hammering wildly, I put a hand to my throat, trying to breathe. His dark eyes did not seem to notice the permanent change in my appearance.

"What are you- I mean, how did you get in here?" my voice was unintentionally sharp, for he'd scared me badly. Just where had he come from?

"Waited for two men to leave the valley rim and head out, then came in behind them," Ranse answered simply. "I hear the red head at Blue Water got herself married, so I thought I would stop and give you my congratulations."

"Thank you, but," though a little strained, I managed to sound sincere. "It's really not necessary. I know its not what you wanted me to do."

"It doesn't matter." Stiff, he looked away when I tried to meet his eyes.

"So how are you?"

Shoulders rigid, I caught the glint of a strange light in his eyes. It suddenly reminded me of our last encounter, the tender goodbye, and my heart flopped heavily. Reaching out, he slid his fingers under my wrist, lifting it.

"You stopped wearing the bracelet."

"Oh," I flushed red, ashamed I'd not noticed it missing. How long had it been gone? "I lost it...during one of the Blackfoot raids."

His thumb slid over the vein in my wrist, feeling my heart pound.

"Lilli, are you happy?"

There was so much more in his tone than his words implied, but I couldn't think of how to reply. Of course I was, but could I say it without hurting Ranse's feelings? Shouldn't he want me to be happy? It took me too long to answer. A veil dropped over his eyes as he let go, the moment past.

"Is that the only reason you came, to ask me that?" I hated that I couldn't read his eyes. Ranse shrugged carelessly.

"Should there be more? What can I say, Lilli?" His smoked honey tone was cold, locking my throat tight. "You made your choices. I suppose I just wanted to make sure that...I promised Stone I'd...make sure you're alright."

"I'm fine, really," forcing the words out brought tears to my eyes. "I didn't...expect you to say that."

"Good," he answered with a grim smile. "The day white man figures out an Apache, the Indian's will be lost." Despite the smile, his expression remained black.

"You're not an Apache, Ranse-" the words flooded out but I snapped my mouth closed at his sudden change.

"No? Then what?" he approached me and I involuntarily backed away. "Not an Indian, not a white, so what, Mrs. Todd, what's left? What do you see when you look at me?"

"Stop it," I couldn't look at him unsure why I was afraid. "You're a good man, Ranse, a good man, and my friend! Does it matter how you label yourself?"

When he did not reply, I glanced up to see him stroking Grace's muzzle, playing with her ears. Her eyes were half-closed, shifting lazily on her feet. My hand lifted, cautiously settling on the horse's shoulder.

"Why did you come after Cooper left?"

"I can't resolve to like him, and I don't think he'd like me here," was his cold reply, and I shivered.

"He's a good man Ranse, if you'd give him a chance. Let go of what happened between you two," I stopped at the look in his eyes. All honey was gone, leaving behind pure poison.

"He told you?"

"No, not really, but I know there was something, just by the way he reacts when I mention your name," the women's curse of curiosity was burning within me. "What did happen between you?"

"You should ask him, Lilli," he turned suddenly and strode toward the door. I hurried to catch up, taking his arm in my hand.

"Ranse! Don't walk away!" Blocking his way, I stared up at him. "Just tell me!"

Those black eyes were ice, looking at me without emotion or concern. Ranse's mouth hardened into a firm line and I could see the muscles in his jaw tighten as his fists closed. When he spoke, his voice was void of all emotion, everything that made him who he was. It terrified me.

"You ask your husband what it is that really makes a man. Ask him what point in his life it was that shaped the man he was to become. Watch him close when he answers because I'll bet my life that he'll look right in your eyes, and lie to you."

"What are you talking about?" I wasn't sure whether to believe him or not. "He's told me all about Mexico and the war."

"He didn't tell you everything!" Brushing my hand off his arm he stepped around me, moving silently to the appaloosa stallion he still rode. Mounted, he swung the stud's head toward the trail before pausing to glance at me.

"Ask the man you call Cooper Todd about Susie Walsh."

Before I could say more he sent the appaloosa into a gallop, flying away across the lushness of the summer grass. As I watched him go, the vibrant color of the valley fled with him. Looking around at all the summer glory of growth, it was somehow less breathtaking. A gray pall had been cast over my small world, and I couldn't bring myself to admit the reason why. I knew who Susie Walsh was, but I wasn't sure I wanted to know how Coop knew her too, but the seed had been planted.

~~~

"Can I ask you something?" I'd been gathering the courage to speak for two days.

It was dark, and I lay still in Coop's arms, the cabin quiet, deep in the shadow of the trees despite the full moon.

"Sure," Coop looked at me, a brow arched. "I could tell somethin's been on your mind, you're too quiet."

"I don't want to pry, but, I have to know the truth," Sitting up on my elbow, I gazed hesitantly at him, tracing a scar on his chest.

"This sounds serious, Mrs. Todd," he brushed my hair from my eyes, but his expression was masked by shadow.

"Tell me what happened between you and Eli Ransom,"

I felt him stiffen, his sharp intake of breath clear in the stillness. For a full minute he lay quiet, then slowly pushed me back as he sat up, facing me.

"Why do you want to know?" Coop's voice was low, thick with what sounded like anger.

"Because I should know the full truth of the man I married, and you've always held something back about him. What is it? I love you, so don't be afraid to tell me,"

I flinched back when Coop reached for me, his hand closing firmly over my shoulder. It was instinctive, though he'd never struck me. Something about him was off. Different.

"I have nothin' to be scared of, you hear me?"

Heart beginning to hammer, I swallowed hard before speaking.

"Coop, you're hurting me," my husband instantly let go.

Throwing off the covers he left the bed, pulling his clothes on as he paced the floor. Tucking the sheets up under my arms, I silently watched him. For the first time, tiny seeds of doubt began to take root as I wondered what sort of man he had been. A wiser woman might have dropped the subject and let it go. I could not.

"Does this have anything to do with Susie Walsh?"

He reacted as though I'd struck him, his shoulders hunched and stiffened. In the faint moonlight from the window, I saw Coop turn to face me. I didn't recognize his features, twisted by angry suspicion, masked in shadows.

"What do you know of Susie Walsh?" he snapped.

"Everyone knows about her and Blackjack Barlow, and the fight with Eli Ransom,"

Before I finished Coop had crossed the room and jerked me from the bed, holding my arms in a viselike grip.

"What does that half-breed have to do with you?"

"I told you he brought me here-!" Coop cut me off.

"If you knew about Susie before you woulda said as much, no...he's been here since then!" Dropping my feet to the floor Coop glared down at me, his eyes flaming in the darkness. "You been walkin' out with him behind my back?" 

"No!" His words shocked me. "How could you say such a thing?"

"But he's been here!" Coop had begun to shout and I knew that Jinx would be awake in the next room.

"He came to leave his congratulations, Coop, that's all." I held my voice even and low, though I was trembling badly. What was wrong with him?

"He make a play for you?" Taking my chin firmly in his hand, he stared directly into my eyes. "You tell me straight, woman! He get any encouragement from you at all?"

"I meant those vows I took Cooper Todd, and I've not betrayed them, or you!" Suddenly it was anger I felt and tore my chin from his grip, moving away. "How dare you accuse me of unfaithfulness!"

"What about before? When you thought I wasn't coming back?" he threw those words at me as if they were stones.

"I never believed that!"

"Not even for a moment?"

Well, that stopped me. I could feel Ranse's kiss on my lips, reaching up touch them. Cooper's low snarl told me he saw and correctly guessed at my reaction. Shame flooded me as I turned to him.

"It was one kiss before we married, Cooper, and I told him we could never be together, not that way. I love you, and had promised myself to you. That was all."

"I knew it! You been playin' with two decks!" the accusation shattered the stillness, sharp and unforgiving.

"Don't take that tone with me, Cooper Todd!" I snapped back. "I've never betrayed you, and I never will. All I want is the truth!"

"That half-breed breathes lies and discontent wherever he goes!" suddenly I was sure Cooper was not angry, but desperate. "I'll never get loose from him!"

"What are you talking about?" I tried to approach him but Coop backed away from me. "Cooper...?"

"Get away from me! I don't want a woman who's been with an Injun!"

Before the words had fully left his mouth I was moving, fury like I'd never know pumping through my veins. I wasn't sure if it was just his accusation or the disgust in his tone when referring to Ranse that did it. Maybe both. The echo of the slap broke like shattered glass in the room. My hand stung fiercely from the force of it.

"Don't you dare!" I hissed. "I've never been with anyone but you, and you my husband!"

He looked at me, but I don't think he was seeing me, because Cooper turned and left the room, slamming the door shut behind him without a word. I stood still for a moment, hearing the front door open then slam shut. Grabbing my robe I ran from the room, seeing Jinx appear from the corner of my eye. I made the front door in time to see my husband catch his horse from the corral and jump up bareback.

"Coop, please!" I cried after him, but he ignored me, and kicked the horse into a gallop, racing away.

Tears sprang into my eyes as I turned around, looking at Jinx, biting my lips to keep them from quivering. I was so angry! Whatever he was thinking Jinx was too good a man to let it show, and his eyes betrayed nothing. As I brushed away large tears from my cheeks, he began to build a smoke, moving quietly to the window. It took me the whole time he was smoking to compose myself and stop the tears from coming.

"Would you like some coffee, Jinx?" my voice was thickened with crying but I kept my eyes dry. The anger was suppressed into burning embers.

"No ma'am," he spoke without turning. "I only got up 'cause it's a mite too warm in my room. I figure to go back to bed directly."

"Goodnight then," I hurried to the bedroom as the temporary dam I built crumbled, and more tears came.

Trouble in paradise. Too many secrets...