Yu ZiYuan smiled painfully, "It really, really all boils down to me, doesn’t it?"
"What?" Jiang Cheng looked confused at his mother. Even now, he had a hard time believing this was his mother.

"Back then, my last order before death to Wei WuXian, was to protect you and A-Li." She spoke with a hoarse voice, tears from her eyes threatening to fall down again, "Back then, I did that. It really affected his psyche. And it just...all boiled down to..."

Jiang Cheng picked up on what she meant, and instantly hugged her, "Mother, it’s not just you. I was to blame as well. I...I was reckless and- and I did bad things too. I...I blamed him for everything when he wasn’t at fault. It just...sigh...I still can't face him...I still get so angry when I see him, at him, at myself, at everything..." Jiang Cheng's face showed all the hurt he felt.

Yu ZiYuan still tried to process the revelation that she was responsible for...everything. This. Their strained relationship. Their pain. And this pain that they couldn’t get rid of.

"How did you lose your core?" Yu ZiYuan finally asked, "I mean, how were you caught?"

Jiang Cheng gulped, "The Wen sect found me."
"Impossible. There is no way A-Xian would have left you alone for a long enough time for them to find you, neither would he have gone far enough."

'Fuck.' Jiang Cheng couldn’t help cursing in his mind.
"A-Cheng, you are hiding something from me. Something you are not telling me."

"I-It's true. Wei WuXian was buying medicines for us, and then in the middle, the Wen sect found me." Jiang Cheng spoke, averting his eyes.

"If I know A-Xian well, he definitely had hidden you in a spot where the Wens couldn’t have seen you." Yu ZiYuan challenged, her eyes narrowing, suddenly fear building in them, "You would have fought back."
"I was outnumbered."
"Even so, A-Xian would have found you after coming back, right?"

It took time to capture a whole person and actually have the person move. Wei WuXian definitely would have made it in time.

"A-Cheng, you deliberately lured them away from A-Xian, didn’t you?" Yu ZiYuan's face scrunched up in hurt, this time her eyes no longer seemed to be able to hold in her tears anymore.

"..." Jiang Cheng said nothing. That was enough to tell that she was right.
"You lured them to yourself, because you saw them approaching the place A-Xian was buying medicines in, and you couldn’t.....you couldn’t bring yourself to lose him...and-"

[Damn, if only the cultivation world had as many braincells as she does, things would have been easier.]

"What?" There was a third voice that came out of the room.

It was Wei WuXian. His eyes were wide open, hands trembling. His body shook.

Yu ZiYuan looked towards the door only to see Wei WuXian standing, shaking on his spot. She cursed internally.

"How much of that did you-" Yu ZiYuan couldn't finish that sentence when Wei WuXian stormed into the room, rules be damned, "Jiang WanYin, what did you do?" His voice was commanding, and yet still full of fear.

He sounded angry, pained, hurt.

Jiang Cheng immediately questioned him, scowling slightly, "Didn't Mother tell that this was between the two of us? Why did you come all of a sudden?"
"I came to check in, quite some time has passed and your disciples were asking about whether everything was alright or not. So I came to check a bit. I would have knocked, but then I heard what you guys were talking about." Wei WuXian didn't waste his time trying to stall. He looked at Jiang Cheng with an angry gaze, which made Jiang Cheng feel immensely uneasy. This same expression, he was sure he also had it when he talked to Wei WuXian three months ago in the GuanYin temple.

"Jiang WanYin, what did you do?" Wei WuXian asked, his patience teetering on  the edge of breaking.
"You said you heard it..." Jiang Cheng still didn't want to admit it. Yu ZiYuan could feel the pain radiating off Wei WuXian's eyes, the sheer hurt he felt listening to just what Jiang Cheng had done.

He couldn't bear it.

Wei WuXian ordered, loudly, "This is the last time I will be asking you. Jiang WanYin,

𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼?"

Yu ZiYuan gulped, "A-Xian-"
"No! Don’t! Don't, Aunt Yu." his eyes reddened, "I want to hear it from him."

Jiang Cheng didn’t dare look him in the eye as he sighed and spoke, softer than Wei WuXian had ever heard him speaking to the older, "I...let myself get caught by the Wens that day, so that, they wouldn’t capture you."

"And you let your core get melted. For what? For me? A son of a servant like me?" Wei WuXian gritted his teeth. Tears began pooling down in his silver orbs as his eyes were reddening more by the second with the effort to hold them in.

Jiang Cheng didn’t say anything for a while before breathing out, "I didn’t want to lose you."

Wei WuXian suddenly laughed out bitterly, "No wonder you reacted that way. Turns out, every single one of your actions were fueled by this fact..." he laughed, but he looked mad, water slid down his cheeks, hitting the Jingshi floor.

Wei WuXian felt sick in his stomach. He finally understood how Jiang Cheng felt when he found out about Wei WuXian giving his own golden core to the latter.

He finally understood just how fucking hurt it felt when you knew someone suffered for so long.

All for your sake.

They both loved each other so much, and yet...and yet their fate had to fuck them up so badly that-

"I finally understand how you felt back then in the temple." he looked at Jiang Cheng, angry and pained, "No wonder you were so hurt. No wonder that you reacted the way you did. Turns out...I was helping a brother who willingly went through hell for me, to save me, only for me to- Fuck-" Wei WuXian's voice couldn’t hold in the sob anymore and he choked.

Jiang Cheng held him as Wei WuXian was about to fall flat on his knees, and avoided bruising them in the process.

Yu ZiYuan silently watched, tears streaming down her face.

'I caused this. This pain...I was the one who caused this...'

Jiang Cheng bit his lip, memories of his past flashing before his eyes, anger building up in him, "And you left. You...left everything and-"
"How was I supposed to know?" Wei WuXian was now in Jiang Cheng's shoes, he looked at the younger with so much sorrow and guilt in his silver gaze, Jiang Cheng flinched. He winced slightly at the broken voice of the older.

Wasn’t that the same thing he thought?

When he knew of the core transfer?

How were they supposed to know?

Jiang Cheng looked down, "I am sorry."

Wei WuXian laughed, "How the tables have turned. You truly..." he sobbed out, trying to suppress it, but it still came out. The result of that was a painful and heartwrenching cry. Jiang Cheng gritted his teeth, hard, "What did you want me to do? Tell you everything? Just like you, I couldn’t.-" he stopped.

He couldn’t. Of course, he couldn’t say it.

Wei WuXian looked at the younger, and realised something.

They really, really still loved each other.

Jiang Cheng's body shook, "When I knew of the core transfer, you stayed up for...so long without any anesthetic, I-"

Jiang Cheng wanted to kill himself. There were countless times in these three months where he contemplated suicide. He had, even before, when Wei WuXian was dead. But Jin Ling needed someone, anyone with him. And Jiang Cheng never fully trusted Jin GuangYao fully. Later it was proved that he was right to not do so.

Wei WuXian saw right through the unsaid words, and hugged him tight, "I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. I am so sorry I- I caused you so much pain-"
"No! I am sorry!" Jiang Cheng felt pure rage at himself, burning it down to his heart, "I didn’t-"

"Enough! Stop it. It's my fault. I was the one who made you two have such a strained relationship." Yu ZiYuan hugged them both with two hands, and softly cried, kissing both of their foreheads, "I am sorry."

Jiang Cheng felt something break inside of him, and burst out in tears. Wei WuXian was already crying, seeing Jiang Cheng cry like that, escalated his hurt. He hugged both of the Jiangs tightly, never wanting to let go.

Yu ZiYuan let them cry on her chest, her heart aching, but easing to, that finally, they were not just strangers with memories anymore.

That at least, at least something had changed due to her being present.

That at least, she didn’t break any bonds this time, but mended.

_________________________________________

Note: Tulip symbolises apologies and forgiveness.