Author: _sagigirl_

Reviewer: amaya_kashaf

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Amplify (Cover)

The cover is good but not best.
The name of the story can be seen only if I scrutinize my gaze. It would be better if you either change the font or increase the size. Also if a clear picture of the baby can be added on the cover will be well and good because as per what I read the story is based on parenthood.

Accent (Title)

'His Priceless Possession' a point to you there, you chose the apt title for your story. Mishka and Nandini being Manik's priceless possession whom he loves to the core and as the whole book revolves around them, I think this is the reasonable title you can give to your book.

Crescendo (Blurb)

It can be more specific. You can add any quote suiting your plot, or Antithesis, the contrasting sentence do make the blurb more make it more intriguing.

Hook (Prologue)

Dearie, there was no prologue and I think you know what prologue means in any story!
A reader will always judge the content or the type of story it is by reading the prologue.
In my opinion, you should add a prologue with some blank scenes to your story.

Ballad (Plot)

The plot isn't anything new, writing the plot on parenthood is quite a common concept nowadays. Though I admire the way you have written it. I read all the 11 chapters published and I must say you have done a good job there.

The way how Nandini and Manik are and taking care of her is admirable. As the story still developing I won't judge it too soon, but I would surely like to share my opinion, amidst Manik and Nandini's past don't minimize the scenes of the Mishka and MaNan as the main motive of the book is to share the parenthood phase.

Ensemble (Cast)

Some of the characters are the same as Kyy though their relations with each other differ and also some new characters are introduced in the story. I also liked the way you have shown the character sketch after their characters were actually the topic of discussion which also builds curiosity in the reader's mind regarding the supporting characters.

There are very few stories in which Harshad and Navya are in a relation and Cabir being gay, which I liked the most in your character sketch that you preferred to be different from others.

Avant Grad (Storyline)

Parenthood, great option to choose, the cuteness of a child, and the struggles of parents while handling them together make a great storyline, but I felt the storyline was an odd duck. As a said before the story is still in the developing stage and its too soon to judge the entire plot but I found the hooking element missing in it. Try to find what it is then you are good to go.

You are also trying to show the love story of Manan with the help of flashbacks which is adding a new flavor to the story.

Also, you haven't described Nandini's age in the flashback, only Manik's age written there. As Manik is five years old so I assume Nandini maybe 4 or 4 and 1/2 years old so don't you think so Nandini shouldn't be lispering. I agree she won't be speaking fluently but at least her word should be a little clear at this stage.

There was no specification about flashback, you should use italics when you write flashback scenes or at least mention in the starting "Flashback" to avoid any sort of confusion.

Cantabile (Grammar)

I liked the way you used Italic and Bold to highlight the dialogues, but the ellipsis was used unnecessarily.

Also, when Mishka speaks in her toddler language kindly give the translation below and the same goes the Hindi language, not all your readers know Hindi right and top of the Mishka's languages with Hindi usage may make them confuse hence they'll lack interest in your story.

And prefer using only one language in your dialogue.

Other than that your use of grammar and sentence structure was good, but you need to take care fo your punctuation.

Proofreading will do a great job!

Dolce (Reviewer's Opinion)

If you take my above points into consideration then you are good to go!
Wating for the further parts to unfold. Also avoiding doing minor mistakes like writing 'THE' in the starting of sentence instead of 'The'.

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Hope, my review have helped you and I haven't offended you in any way.
Amaya.K
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FMC

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