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Ashamed

"Im going to miss you. When you go home." George murmured. Despite being covered in flour and muffin mix, he held no desire to move. Clay didn't know how to say that he was already home.

"I'm going to miss you too... but I'll message you all the time and we can videocall now too." Clay reassured, tapping his thumb idly on George's stomach. He unlaced his fingers in order to reach and stroke Bartholomew. "We could introduce Patches and Bartholomew when I get back." George hummed.

"Tomorrow is your last full day, right?" George asked, watching the way Clay's hand moved. Clay nodded, wrapping the arm behind George around him tighter. Mew stood and stretched, deciding he was done being cuddled. George and Clay watched as he trotted off.

"It won't be the same. When you aren't here. I've gotten so used to reaching out and being able to touch you." George shifted slightly to demonstrate. He placed his hand over Clay's heart and splayed his fingers. He noted the way Clay's heart fluttered beneath them. Clay reached up to cover George's hand with his own that had been previously occupied by Mew.

"I know, sweetheart. But I'll be back as soon as I can be. You won't even realise I was gone." Clay lifted his hand from George's to gently press his jaw, tilting his head to look into his eyes. George took a moment to look between Clay's eyes. Something in him ached to know how the rest of the world saw them but something else, something smaller, was somewhat glad that this view was unique to him. Or, at least, to very few.

"Before I found you," George began, softly. "I only had Nick. I was so... so lost. So alone. I'd never found a place that I felt I... I belonged. I was sort of just... there. Just drifting. Nick tried to help and I appreciate him so much for it but nothing ever seemed to work." George took a breath as Clay held his.

"And then I found you. I found you and through you I found myself. I found myself in the lyrics you all wrote and I found myself in the community you all grew. It finally felt like I had a place to belong in." He softly traced his fingers up Clay's neck to cradle his jaw.

"I'm not ashamed to say I was your fan before I was your friend. I'm a little ashamed to admit I've posted thirst tweets about you," Clay chuckled breathlessly. "But I'm not ashamed to admit that I was - and still am - your biggest fan." George brushed his thumb back and forth over Clay's cheekbone.

[SPICE WARNING! Skip to the second warning if you wouldn't like to read it!! (Again, I don't write NSFW, it just gets a bit spicy)]

Clay couldn't find the words to explain to George what he wanted to say so he pressed his lips to George's and prayed he could taste them instead. They tasted something like 'I love you too'. George sucked in a soft breath as Clay's eyebrows furrowed. Clay adjusted to pull George closer, licking at the seam of his lips.

George decided it wasn't close enough and he clumsily clambered his way into Clay's lap, straddling his thighs and wrapping his arms around Clay's neck. Clay let out a soft groan and placed one hand on George's hip to steady him. The other slipped beneath George's shirt to rest in the small of his back. George arched to press themselves together tighter.

They broke for breath and Clay immediately dipped to the hollow of George's pale neck. George let his head tip back. As Clay sucked marks into George's throat, one hand massaging George's thigh, George became overwhelmed. He softly pushed at Clay's shoulders and Clay immediately pulled back. Clay searched George's face, eyes full of concern.

[SPICE OVER!!]

"Can we- I'm not- I don't-" Clay moved his hands to rest on George's hips, rubbing encouraging circles into them with his thumbs.

"Its okay, It's me, Baby. It's just me." Clay reminded softly and George nodded, taking a breath.

"Can we not... do that... yet? I don't think ready." George asked, feeling impossibly small. Clay let his arms circle George's waist.

"Of course, Georgie. We're not going to do anything you aren't comfortable with." He assured gently. George nodded again. He leant forward and softly wrapped his arms around Clay's shoulders again in a warm hug. Clay was content with the arm and lap full of adorable boyfriend that he had.

George eventually pulled back to reconnect his lips with Clay's in a slow, lazy and love-filled kiss.

"You guys better be dressed or I'll never recover!" A cheery voice - Nick's - called as the front door slammed closed behind him. George and Clay didn't have time to get off of one another before Nick had rounded the corner. They stood and sat in silence for an awkward moment.

"I'm going to go back out the door, pretend I never saw this, and come back in again. You better be presentable by the time I'm back." Nick warned before making a U-turn and heading for the front door again.

George scrambled to get off of Clay's lap, accidentally kneeing him in the stomach in the process. He gracelessly fell to the couch, pulling the hoodie - most likely one of Clay's, if they were being honest - down to encase himself further before shuffling to sit properly. Clay reached for a cushion and placed it where George once was. Neither boy thought to cover George's neck.

"Teenagers these days." Nick tsked as he walked back into the room. George and Clay shared a confused, red cheeked, look.

"We're both older than you?" Clay stated, questioningly. Nick wafted away the words with a flippant wave of his hand.

"You don't act like it." Nick stated, throwing a plastic bag they hadn't noticed him carrying onto the table. He dropped onto the couch, worming his way between Clay and George. "I brought ice cream but it looks like you've already eaten." Nick observed, glancing pointedly at the marks on George's neck.

"You better share or I'm unfollowing and cancelling you on twitter." George argued, grabbing for the bag and shoving Nick in the process. Nick laughed, turning to Clay for some sympathy. Clay simply shrugged and Nick rolled his eyes.

"Dearest love?" George cooed dramatically, ice cream pot in hand. Clay looked over, cheeks tinted pink. Nick caught on to what was going on and batted his eyelashes at Clay as well.

"Could you go get us the shovels please?" Clay rolled his eyes with a groan, standing up. He grumbled something along the lines of 'it was one time' as George and Nick cheered to themselves.

"So it's going well then?" Nick asked as soon as Clay was far enough out of earshot. George smiled bashfully.

"Yeah. Really well." George sighed happily. Nick wrapped his arm around George's shoulders, scrubbing his hair. George laughed a protest, shoving at Nick.

"Good. If he tries you then I'll beat him." Nick stated, loosing his arm but leaving it slung lazily around George's shoulders. George rolled his eyes.

"As if you could take him. He'd beat you in seconds." George retorted, poking at Nick's ribcage. Nick swatted at George's hand with a barked laugh.

Clay watched the two friends fondly from the doorway, three spoons clutched in his hands. He padded his way to the couch, dropping onto Nick's other arm. Nick laughed and wriggled to wrap his arm around Clay's shoulder as well. Clay passed over two of the three spoons and George opened the pot, placing it in Nick's lap.

George switched on the TV, flicking on The Emperors New Groove with a smile. Nick rolled his eyes fondly and Clay glanced at George to study his face. The last time he'd seen George watch this, Nick said he'd been crying.

George could feel Clay's stare and he glanced over, seeing the concern in his eyes. George smiled fondly, reaching behind Nick to grab for Clay. Clay reached back as well, taking George's hand. George squeezed Clay's hand reassuringly before turning back to the movie, keeping their hands clasped.

"Unless one of you are willing to sacrifice my arm around you then you're going to have to feed me." Nick commented, arms still around both boys' shoulders. George laughed and Clay leant to dig as much ice cream onto his spoon as he could. Clay shoved the spoon into Nick's mouth and George laughed. Nick had to unwrap his arms from around the two to snatch the spoon away, desperately trying to swallow the freezing mouthful he had.

"George, are you sure you want this one?" Nick asked, wiping his sleeve over his mouth and glaring at Clay. George turned to Clay with a soft smile.

"Yeah. I want this one." George decided, squeezing Clay's hand again. Nick fake gagged.

It was all an act though. Nick couldn't have been more glad that everything had worked out for George. After all he'd been through, this was what he deserved.

"I'm demoting you, Vincent is my new best friend." Nick stated, pulling out his phone. George laughed with a roll of his eyes.

"Finally." He sighed out in fake relief. Clay laughed at Nick's dramatically offended expression.

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1.6k words

Sugar, spice and everything nice :)

Also... um... tWENTY THOUSAND VIEWS?????? HUH????????? I SWEAR I HIT TEN THOUSAND YESTERDAY, WHAT IS GOING ON??????????????? Seriously, thank you all so much. A lot of George's speech about finding a place he belonged in Dream's community is something I heavily relate to. I've never felt like I belonged quite as much as I do in the community George and Dream have created. I thank them for that and I thank each and every single one of you for that as well. If there's anything a can do to give back to you all then PLEASE tell me. I mean it when I say I love you all.

Feedback is welcome and appreciated!!

~Dandelion

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