I felt sick as soon as I returned to my hotel room, leaning my back against the door as I clutched my high heels in my head. I shook my head, knowing that, despite the notion that I was still very much a teenager, I seriously needed to keep my priorities in check, and last night wasn't helping matters either. I took a shower, allowing the hot water to reach every inch of my body, wanting to literally wash away whatever had happened the evening before. I felt sick at the thought of having drunken sex; as a mother and COO of a successful company, the last thing I needed to be doing was cheating on my boyfriend, no matter what my feelings connected to Liam were. It wasn't fair to anyone in the equation, and the sooner I managed to cough up the truth, one I figured it out what the truth really was, the better.

I got out of the shower and headed into my bedroom, a smile automatically coming to my lips when I spotted my phone ringing, and who it was. "Hey, Pops," I said, placing the phone next to my ear. "Little late to be calling, isn't it? Everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," he assured me. "Hailey woke up and wanted to say hello. If that's okay. Is this a good time? You aren't in a breakfast meeting with an abundance of mimosas, are you?" he asked, a chuckle escaping his lips.

"No, of course not," I replied, shaking my head and moving to sit on my bed. "I'd love to hear my little girl's voice. Put her on."

"Mama's on the phone," Pops said, and lowered the phone.

"Mama!" cried Hailey.

"Hi, baby. How are you?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes at the thought of my little girl on the other end of the world.

"Okay, Mama," Hailey replied. "You coming home soon?"

I smiled. "Soon, baby, soon," I assured her. "Just another couple of days. Mama's working really hard, baby."

"Take me next time?" she asked.

I laughed a little then. "We'll see, baby," I told her.

"Uncle Yev wanna talk to Mama," she said after a moment of silence. "Love you, Mama. Come back soon."

I nodded. "Okay, sweetheart. I love you, too," I said quickly as the phone was handed over to my brother. "Tell Pops to put her back to bed," I ordered.

"Hello to you, too," Yev said.

"Yev," I said, my voice firm.

"He's already taken her upstairs. Keep your towel on."

I stammered for a moment, lowering my eyes to thick, white hotel towel that I'd currently wrapped around myself. "How the hell did you know...?!"

"I'm smarter than I look, Iana," Yev replied, and I could detect the smirk lingering at the back of his tone. "I mean, let's face it, I'm the only one who knows about the second tattoo you got on your trip to Milan."

"Hey!" I cried out.

"Hey, all I'm saying here is, all your tattoos have been inked illegally," Yev said, his voice mockingly serious.

I scoffed, moving my towel back slightly and crossing over to the floor-length mirror my hotel room boasted, getting a good look at the tattoo, painted on the left side of my ribcage, which was an ink representation of the heart locket that I always wore. "Yeah, well, suffice it to say that Axel wasn't too pleased about it..." I said, my voice barely above a whisper, as I ran my fingers over it.

Yev sighed. "He misses you, you know."

My eyebrows shot upwards then. "You've seen him?!" I hissed.

"A little, since you've been gone," he replied. "He's come by a few times to see Hailey while I've been watching her."

I bit my lip, leaning back against the elaborate wood frame of my bed. "Well, I think it's over anyway," I muttered, taking off my towel, and putting Yev on speaker as I proceeded to pick out an outfit for the day.

"Over? What do you mean 'over'?"

I grumbled to myself, slipping on a bra and a pair of panties. "We got into that fight, as you know, before I left," I told him, my voice quiet.

"You mentioned the fight," Yev replies as I pull on a romper, for the day was warm. "You didn't really get into specifics, though..."

I bit my lip. "It was still pretty raw."

"Tell me now, then," he said, his tone gentle.

I sighed, dragging my hand across my face. "I gave him his apartment key back."

"Iana!" he cried out.

"I know, I know," I said, throwing myself back onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling. "I know it's a lot to think about, but I'm seventeen, Yev. Seventeen. I've got a pretty high-profile job now, plus I've got Hailey, and..."

"And what?" Yev asked. "Why'd you break off like that?"

I dragged my tongue over my lips, sitting up and drawing my knees upwards, and into my chest, wishing now that I'd brought someone from my family onto my trip. "I think I may have cheated on Axel last night..."

"Shit, Iana. What did you do?" Yev asked, more shocked than anything else.

"We had a meeting last night, and it went really great..."

"Wait, wait, hold up. We? Who's we? Did Liam come this time, too?"

I scoffed. "Yeah, he's here, too..."

"Jesus, Iana. Did you two...?"

I shook my head, despite the notion that Yev couldn't see me. "I don't know," I said quietly then, my voice breaking slightly as my eyes filled with tears.

"Well, then, what do you know?" he asked.

"All I know is, I woke up this morning, and we were in bed together," I replied.

. . .

I spent the next three days, until my flight home, mostly outside my hotel room, and was careful not to give many clues to Penny as to what I was doing with my time, lest she inform Liam of my habits, leading him to come looking for me. I would constantly return to the hotel as late as possible, to the concierge informing me that Liam had constantly left messages for me, and, since I was ignoring his texts and emails, he'd resorted to notes and other things via the hotel. I did my best to ignore all forms of communication with him, throwing myself into buying presents for members of my family, and doing more shopping in Spain than I'd ever done over the course of my entire life.

I dreaded the flight home, knowing that Liam and I were likely to be going home on the same plane, and my heart sank as I entered the plane itself on the day of. There was Liam, sitting on the edge of our two-person row; thankfully, my window seat was not taken. I did my best to stow my duffel without his help in the overhead compartment, and sat in my own seat, smoothing my travel skirt over my knees and turning towards the window. When that began to get boring, I pulled out the flight meal menu, and contemplated whether to go Spanish or American on the flight home, but Liam wasn't having any of it.

"You're going to have to talk to me sometime."

I rolled my eyes. "And why would I do that?"

"Because my little sister is your boss, so we're bound to socialize plenty more during the course of our lifetimes," he replied without hesitation. "Plus, you've been avoiding me for the last seventy-two hours, and I think I have the right to know why, or at least ask."

"You do," I replied, the words falling from my lips before I could call them back. "But I'm getting hungry, so I think you should..."

Liam snagged my menu away from me, effectively cutting me off, and I turned and looked at him, my glare causing him to look surprised. "What?" he asked.

I crossed my arms. "I was looking at that."

"Look, Iana," Liam said, his voice firm, "we've got less than ten hours to resolve whatever this is, going on between us."

I huffed, looking away from him. "There's nothing going on," I fired back, under my breath, as the flight attendant stepped forward to demonstrate safety to us passengers.

"Oh, I beg to differ," Liam countered, his voice barely above a whisper, just wanting to get the final word in before the flight attendant returned to her seat. He remained silent as we left our gate and moved onto the runway, before we picked up speed when told to do so, and, quite soon, were in the air, the wheels folding themselves into the base of the plane, and the wings adjusting themselves accordingly. "Less than ten hours," he said softly to me.

I rolled my eyes. "What's so important here?" I demanded, turning and peering at him. "I feel like an absolute bitch, Liam. Are you happy now?"

He raised his eyebrows. "A bitch?" he asked me. "Why?"

"Why?" I scoffed to myself, rolling my eyes, and willing for myself not to come apart in front of him; I couldn't do that, show him my vulnerable side, I just couldn't. "Jesus, I don't know. Why don't you take a wild guess?"

Liam shook his head at me. "Iana, I'm sorry, but I honestly have no idea what you're talking about," he said, and I stared at him, open-mouthed. "What? You're acting like you've broken some sort of law here..."

I swallowed. "I haven't, but you have."

He blinked. "Your tattoos are legal?" he asked, and my cheeks flamed at his insinuation; he'd pluralized tattoo, meaning that he knew I had more than one, which could only mean that he hadn't seen me in much clothing. "I thought you needed some sort of convoluted parental consent for those, and I know for a fact you got your first one before you even knew you were pregnant with Hailey, meaning that you were sixteen..."

"No, I got them with my fake, for god's sake!" I hissed under my breath, hoping that nobody was listening to our conversation. "And I'm talking about you, mister, not me!"

"Okay, Iana," Liam said, nodding to himself. "We're talking about me, I understand that. But what I don't understand is, why I'm suddenly to blame for something. You seem almost mortified to be around me. What did I do?"

"Rape of a minor, for one thing," I said smartly.

Liam blanched at that. "All our encounters were consensual, Iana," he hissed at me. "You know as well as I do how reluctant I was to even touch you, and yet you told me that you wanted me as much as I wanted you, and you'd never go to the police..."

I shook my head at him. "I didn't consent to the other night and you know it. If I did give consent, I was drunk. You can't fuck a drunk person, much less a teenager. It doubly means I was incapable of giving consent, according to the laws in place..."

"Iana, I didn't touch you the other night," Liam said, his expression filling with relief, and his tone incredibly level.

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

He shook his head. "Not in that way. I can promise you that."

My brows knit together then. "Okay. Then how did I end up in bed with you, both of us half-naked, the morning after we had dinner together?" I demanded.

He sighed. "I can handle my alcohol a bit better than you can," he said, and when I moved to protest, he held up his hand. "No, I'm talking now. You wanted to hear about what happened, and I'm telling you now, okay?" When I crossed my arms and remained silent, he continued, "After we'd finished our dinner, I said I'd take you back to your room. You said you wanted to stay with me... Yeah, you did," he said, talking over my protests. "I let you come back to my room, and my intention was to let you have the bed, and I'd sleep on the pull-out sofa. But you insisted, more like demanded, that I stay with you. You're the one who took off your clothes, Iana, and I only touched you to help you to bed. I only touched your shoulders and hands, and then you begged me to stay with you, in the room, in my bed. I relented, and climbed in with all my clothes on. When you passed out, it got too hot in the room, so I stripped to my boxers. Several times during the night, you grabbed onto me, but I always put you back onto your side of the bed, because I would never take advantage of you like that, Iana, never. And you want to know why? Because you're better than that. You're an amazing person, and amazing people don't deserve to be taken advantage of. Besides, you're with Axel, and even though I wish you weren't with him, because I think you deserve better, I'm not one to stand in the way of a couple who are together and are obviously in love."

"Liam, it's not..."

"You don't have to explain your relationship with Axel to me, Iana," Liam said, his tone never anything but gentle as he returned my menu to me.

I shook my head. "But, Liam..."

"Really, Iana, it's fine," he assured me. "It's none of my business, anyway."

. . .

I got home from the airport via town car just after Hailey was put to bed, so I was saddened that I would have to wait until the morning to see her. Upon stepping into the house, I was pleased to see that my parents were waiting for me, and embraced them each in turn. I managed to fish their gifts from my bag, and each were pleased at being thought of. I informed them that I would be taking a shower and heading to bed, and was shocked that they said that Hailey had fallen asleep in their room, and that I could resume mommy duty in the morning.

Morning couldn't come soon enough, and, since I had ample time off between my last trip and the next one, where I was due to go to New York, I decided to make the best of my morning and afternoon with Hailey. I came downstairs after fetching and changing her from my parent's bedroom the following morning, with all my brothers and sister gathering around me to learn about my trip to Spain. I smiled and set Hailey in her high chair, telling them tales about it as I got her breakfast of baby oatmeal ready.

"Are you going to bring her to daycare this morning, sweetheart?" Mom asked, from where she stood at the stove, preparing cheesy scrambled eggs and sausages.

I shook my head. "No, not today. I was going to take her to the park at one point... You have to go down to the diner?"

She nodded. "I do. I'm leaving just before the dinner rush, and letting Franny lock up for the night, just so she keeps getting the hang of it."

I nodded back. "Sounds like a good plan."

"I could take Hailey tonight, if you want to go see Axel," Mom put in.

I sighed. "Yev didn't tell you?" I asked, fetching Hailey's baby oatmeal and bringing it to her, with a spoon, and blew on it before I fed it to her.

"Tell me, what, honey?" Mom asked, coming over to the table and serving me my breakfast, before I realized that Dad and all my siblings, who had likely finished their own breakfasts, were all staring at me, waiting for me to answer. She hesitated for a moment before we all jumped slightly at the sound of a car horn out front. "And that's your carpool Charlie and Carla," she said, and gathered their lunch boxes as my two youngest siblings grumbled to themselves, but put on their backpacks and kissed Mom and Dad goodbye. "Now, you two," Mom said, snapping her fingers at the boys, "have to get to the bus."

Fionn got to his feet. "Fine," he said, grabbing his lunch and saying goodbye to Mom and Dad before heading towards the door.

"Whatever," Clayton's reply came, shrugging as he went, mirroring Fionn's movements before he went to the door and outside himself.

"And you, mister," Mom said, circling the table and taking Dad by the hand, whereupon she pulled him to his feet, "have to get to the firm. I won't have Allie and Hugo giving me more shit than usual, and you being on time is one of the few things I have left."

Dad sighed. "I can still talk to them," he said gently.

"Good luck," I muttered, taking a bite of my breakfast while simultaneously feeding Hailey with my other hand.

"Now, hold on," Dad said, turning and looking from me to my mother. "What's that supposed to mean?"

I scoffed. "You know what it means," I said darkly.

"She means that things have been quiet since you filed the restraining order on her behalf," Mom explained gently.

"Calm before the storm," I said stoutly, making an amused face so that Hailey would be more willing to eat her oatmeal.

"That's unlikely," Dad said.

"Really?" I asked, turning and looking over at him. "Wait and see," I went on, gathering up the dishes from Hailey's and my breakfast and putting them into the dishwasher. "Something's gotta happen. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But something's' gonna come and crush this pretty little slice of world we have going for us."

"What do you mean?" Dad wanted to know.

"It's Gallagher logic," Mom said, spreading her hands. "Allie and Hugo are giving me cases to look at again. Iana just got that job as COO of Penny's company. Clayton hasn't been in a fight on school property since the second semester started. Fionn's made the honor roll consecutively each quarter. Carla became president of the self-founded Young Designer's Club at school. Not to mention that Charlie is in talks to move ahead a grade or two. And we've begun teaching Hailey how to use the potty."

"Wait," I said, nearly dropping my dishes as I stood there, poised, before the open dishwasher, as I stared at both my parents. "You're doing what?"

"It was a surprise," Dad said, giving a mock-scolding look to Mom before turning back to me. "I guess you can think of it as an early birthday present, but we were intending to show you the finished result by the time we had your party."

I smiled at them both, putting the dishes into the dishwasher before going towards them and hugging them. "Thanks a lot," I told them, pulling back. "Really, that's nice of you. But that still doesn't change what I think about Grandma Allie," I said quickly.

"I know you've got every right to be skeptical, sweetheart," Dad says, kissing my forehead before Mom follows him to the door. He says goodbye to her while I use a rag to wipe off the excess oatmeal off Hailey's face, and pick her up into my arms, tossing the rag into the laundry room area before stepping out into the living room.

"Okay, so talk to me," Mom says, crossing over to the couch as I sat on it myself to Hailey. "You usually are over the moon to see Axel, especially if it's been a few days. So, tell me. What's going on with the two of you?"

I lean back against the cushions, keeping a good grip on Hailey, who has, by this point, turned around and is snuggling into me, likely familiarizing herself with my scent now that I'm back home and no longer in Spain. "Axel and I had a fight before I left," I replied, and Mom raised her eyebrows slightly, but didn't look so surprised.

"What happened?"

"He accused me of having feelings for Liam, again," I said, gently taking Hailey's hands off from my heart-shaped locket at my throat, and permitting her to merely grip onto my finger. "I insisted that it wasn't true, but he just wouldn't listen."

"So, what'd you do?"

"Returned his apartment key before I stormed out," I said simply.

Mom sighed, cradling the side of her head in her hand. "You already know what my response is going to be to that, don't you?" she asked.

I bit my lip. "That, in any relationship, I've got to be honest. The opposite party may not like what's being told to them but, in the end, I need to tell the truth."

"Yeah, and no," she said, reaching out her arms as Hailey crawled towards her, and took my daughter into her arms. "I'm going to say to you what I said in the beginning, sweetheart. I don't think Axel is the one for you."

I turned and looked out the window. "I'm going to tell you something, Mom, and I need you not to interrupt me. Can you do that?"

She nodded. "Of course, sweetheart."

I lowered my eyes to my hands, which had proceeded to knot themselves together. "It's more of a question than anything else... Once I explain it, and ask it, do you think you'd be able to give me an honest opinion about it?"

"Sure, honey. Whatever you want," she replied.

I sighed, blowing the air out of my lungs as I raised my eyes towards the ceiling, feeling the hot tears threatening to escape my eyes. "I did something really stupid while I was in Madrid," I say firstly, and feel relieved when she doesn't question me, but merely waits for me to continue. "I was happy about a deal being signed, a really big deal, and so me and Liam went out to celebrate it being agreed upon and signed so quickly." I took a deep breath, knowing that, after all this time, I could permit myself to be vulnerable with my mother. "We went to the restaurant in the hotel we were staying at, and had a little too much to drink. Liam offered to take me up to my bedroom afterwards, but, for some reason, I insisted on staying with him. We went up to his room and he says I undressed myself, and I believe him. He said that he was going to leave the room and go to sleep on the sofa but that I begged him to stay..."

"You slept in his bed together?" Mom asked, not accusatory.

I nodded. "Yeah."

She sighed. "Did Liam happen to mention if you said anything else?"

"Just that I was adamant that he stay with me," I replied.

She nodded. "So, what's the question?"

I sighed, my shoulders slacking as I raised my eyes to hers. "Did I cheat on Axel with my actions, or my words?" I asked.

. . .

I decided it was best to swallow my pride and, with my mother's blessing, drove over to Axel's apartment later that night. I parked outside on the street, knowing that the element of surprise was not on my side that evening, given that I'd returned Axel's apartment key. I went into the elevator and rode up to the correct floor, hopping out and walking down the hallway upon my arrival, and promptly knocked on his door.

"Hey," I said, staring up at him once he'd opened it.

"Hi," he replied, looking surprised to see me.

I sighed. "Look, if you're busy..."

He shook his head. "I'm not busy," he replied, standing back. "Come on in."

"Thanks," I said, stepping around him and inside the apartment. Nothing was different about the apartment from the time I'd stormed out; even my key was still on the coffee table. "Listen, about me storming out that night," I said, turning around, "I want to apologize. I shouldn't have run out like that..."

Axel shook his head again, crossing over towards me. "I should be the one to apologize to you, Iana," he said, and I raised my eyebrows. "I had no right to go on and on about you and Liam, and I've got to face facts that you and Liam aren't even an issue."

I blinked. "Really?" I asked.

He nodded. "Really. I make a big deal about trust, and so do you, and if we can't trust each other, then we shouldn't be together."

I lowered my eyes. "You're right."

"But I want to be together, Iana," he said softly, and my eyes flashed upwards to meet his. "I still want to be with you, but I think we need to work on our trust issues."

I nodded, my heart hammering in my chest as regret swam through me. "I feel the same way," I replied, wondering where this voice had come from.

Axel smiled. "I'm glad."

I breathed in for a moment, before I crossed the room and stood on my toes, wrapping my arms around him and kissed him. "Hi," I said, looking up at him.

Axel pulled back then, staring down at me. "We don't have to..."

I nodded, my hands slipping beneath his shirt. "I know," I told him.

Axel bit his lower lip, his eyes following the movements of my hands. "Iana..."

"What?" I asked, stopping my hands from moving another inch. "Something wrong?"

He shook his head. "I know I shouldn't say anything, but..."

"If this is about me spreading my legs one too many times..."

Axel shook his head. "No, not that," he assured me. He hesitated for a moment before he kissed me, whereupon he pulled back and stared down at me. "That feel different to you?"

This was it; a moment that I'd been waiting for since Axel's suspicions had been confirmed about me and Liam. Axel, whether he knew it or not, was giving me an out, perhaps to happiness, perhaps not, but an out nonetheless. It was a moment of hesitation that passed between us then but, finally, my resolve weakened as I shook my head.

"No," I told him, standing on my toes again and pressing his lips to mine.

. . .

Since Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy couldn't come to my birthday rager because of Ronan, they offered to watch Ezra and Hailey for the night as well. It would be my first kid-free night where I didn't have to work in a long time, and I was pleased that Penny and Lacey had said that they would come to the festivities as well. Desmond would be coming to spend time with Yev, and my brother had told me that they were considering making it official. I sped around the house during the early evening before the party began, beer in my hand, blitzing from one room to the next, making sure that everything was in place.

"Need a minute, kiddo?" Pops asked, watching as I chucked my third beer bottle in the bin in the kitchen, looking me over.

I nodded, nearly bouncing up and down. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, flashing him a smile. "Think I'll go out back for a few for a cigarette and some air."

"Have fun, kiddo," he called after me.

I threw him a grin over my shoulder as I headed outside, the late-spring sunset beautiful as I trooped down the stairs. I got my pack of cigarettes out of my pocket, and my lighter from the other, and lit them up effortlessly. I leaned back against the side of the house, taking in the day around me, and smiled to myself. "Eighteen," I said, and a laugh escaped from between my lips at the thought of it. "Happy fucking birthday, Iana Milkovich."

"You did away with the Gallagher name?"

I tore my cigarette from between my lips then, my entire body becoming rigid as I saw Frank coming up the back way of the house. "Could you smell the excess beer from whatever hole you crawled out of, Frank?" I asked, my tone suddenly bitter.

"Uh, uh, uh," Frank said, shaking his head, and nodding at my cigarette. "You answer my question first. Now, can I have a cigarette?"

I shrugged, getting one out of my pack for him and lighting it up, before I handed it over. "Yeah, I did away with the Gallagher name," I said.

"Why?"

I shrugged. "Because my biological father is a Milkovich, and I had every right to want to honor him with taking the name?" I said, spreading my hands before putting my cigarette back into my mouth. "I don't see a problem..."

Frank rolled his eyes. "You celebrating something? You looked pretty happy a moment ago, and you mentioned beer..."

I scoffed. "It's my birthday."

"Really?" Frank asked. "How old are you now? You've got my great-granddaughter, and she's getting big..."

"I'm eighteen, Frank, thanks for asking," I muttered.

"You're just like your mother," Frank grumbled to himself.

I blinked. "I look like my father..."

"Yeah, but you and your mother have the same eyes as Fiona," Frank said, his tone slightly testy as he delivered the information to me. "Anyhow, your mother was always so stubborn with me, and listened to all the stories my other ungrateful children told her."

I raised my eyebrows. "Stories denote fiction, Frank. None of what they told her, and told me, is fiction. In fact, there's a fucking court case to prove it," I told him smartly, before shoving him away from me. "Now, as it is my birthday, I am therefore the guest of honor at these celebrations and I won't have you ruining them for me. Good night, Frank," I said, my tone sour as I walked back up the stairs and put out my cigarette.

I was relieved that Frank didn't decide to insert himself into my party, and, an hour later, all the guests had arrived and there was a pumping beat going in the stereo system that Uncle Ian and Pops refused to replace. Not that I minded; according to Penny, it was vintage and, therefore, it would always be in. I watched as her and Lacey danced, looking so effortlessly happy; I then turned and saw Yev and Desmond just sitting together, enjoying each other's company. I looked over at Axel then, and knew then that I couldn't just turn back time, not anymore. It was different between the two of us, and there was no stopping the collision course that our relationship was on, no matter what we did.

I'd gone back into the kitchen time and time again for the last several hours that day, and by the time the guests arrived, I was buzzed, plenty buzzed. The drunkenness soon followed, but I was able to play it up as excitement for my big day. I was officially an adult, and nobody could tell me that I wasn't allowed to have sex with either one of the men in my life. However, I knew exactly which one I wanted to let in, and while I was tied to the other, such a thing couldn't happen in his eyes, especially after I'd pushed him away the last time.

I found myself sitting on the couch at some point during the party, on my own, my eyes zeroing in on what the couch was positioned on. It made my stomach turn just to look at it, and I downed what must've been my seventh or eighth beer that night. My head was pumping in tune to the music, and I had no idea what would happen if I tried to stand up. I raised my eyes then at the shadowy figure that appeared before me, and I very nearly screamed, for my eyes told me that it was Tommy, but, once my vision cleared, I saw it was only Axel standing in front of me.

"Need some air?" he asked, and his voice sounded so much like Tommy's that it immediately proceeded to make my skin crawl.

"No," I said, and got to my feet, stumbling to the edge of the living room, and into the foyer by the front door.

"Hey, wait," he said, and I heard his footsteps behind me. "Don't go. What's wrong?"

My heart pounded in my ears at the words; Tommy had said very similar things to me; of course, his tone had been much different. As I stumbled to turn around, I stupidly lowered my eyes back onto the carpet again, and I almost saw myself as a little girl, being held down, with Tommy's cruel laughter filling my ears. I shut my eyes at the sensation of revulsion as it filled me completely then, and, as I leaned up against the wall, I felt a hand clamp down on my arm, as well as a second one pinning me up against the wall. My lungs filled with air then as I broke out in a cold sweat of the little girl I once was, and my eyes shot open, and all I could see was Tommy looking down at me.

"No!" I shouted then, shoving him back and away from me, my words slurring slightly due to my drunkenness, my vision blinded by my tears. "No, don't touch me!"

"Iana, don't..."

"No, you don't!" I shot back, hardly knowing what was going on. "Let me go! I'm saying 'no'! I am begging you not to touch me! Please don't touch me...!"

"Get off of her!" came a third voice then, and I slid down the wall, suddenly able to breathe again as the grip came away from me.

The next thing I heard, after the two other voices yelling at the other, was a door slamming. I crumpled into a heap on the floor, nearly passing out from intoxication. Then, I felt soft, strong hands lifting me then, and my head lolled against their shoulder as whoever this savior, this angel, was, carried me to safety.

. . .

"Hey, there she is," Yev said as I came down the kitchen stairs the following morning. "My shirt looks way better on you. Want to keep it?"

I blinked, surprised at the generosity. "I can't just..."

"Yeah, you can," Yev said, grinning at me as he poured a second mug of coffee, and handed it over to me. "I have plenty. Your mom probably pays me more than the hourly wage, but she said it was necessary to bulk up my wardrobe a bit."

I sighed, sipping my coffee and pulling out a high stool and perching on it. "Yeah, well, I'll borrow it for now. Thanks."

Yev nodded. "No problem."

I dragged my hand through my hair. "So... What happened last night?" I asked him. "I know I must've gotten pretty drunk..."

Yev smirked. "Yeah. Pretty drunk."

I nodded. "Okay. So...?"

He sighed, leaning back up against the counter. "Axel came over to talk to you at one point, and you seemed...off."

I blinked. "Off?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Like you were scared of him or something."

I shook my head, trying and failing to remember the events of the night before. "Wow... Did I say anything?"

"Actually, yeah," Yev said, sipping his coffee. "You were saying stuff like 'don't touch me' and 'I'm saying no'..."

I shook my head again, not getting the connection. "Weird... Axel isn't like that."

Yev sighed, obviously not wanting to disagree with me right then, but, clearly he harbored a different opinion on my boyfriend. "You were in the living room, and you couldn't seem to get out of there fast enough."

At once, my attention was piqued. "The living room?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah. You kept avoiding Axel's face, too... You were staring at the carpet," he went on then, and I felt the bile rising in my throat. "You okay?" he asked.

I sighed, leaning back against the chair. "Just makes sense is all..."

Yev blinked. "How does that make sense?"

I swallowed then, staring into my mug of coffee, which was still steaming. "Remember how I said I hated cops?"

Yev nodded. "Yeah. Thought that was just a Milkovich thing."

I shook my head at him. "Not even close," I replied.

"Then, why do you hate cops?"

I raised my eyes to his. "Because the cop, Tommy Matthews, that my mom was engaged to way back when..." I hesitated for a moment, hunching my shoulders at my memories. "He would come over here whenever my mom was at AA, and whenever Uncle Ian had a late-night shift, and he would rape me," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

"That son of a bitch," Yev whispered.

I scoffed. "You're not kidding," I said bitterly, and looked past him and into the living room. "He used to do it on that carpet... I've just realized over the years that the flashbacks are worse whenever I'm drunk. Probably because I'm more vulnerable or some shit..."

Yev set down his mug of coffee then, before he turned around and walked into the living room without hesitation.

"Yev?" I asked, getting to my feet. "What are you...?" My eyes popped out of my head when I saw what he was doing. "Yev, stop! You don't need to...!"

Yev said nothing, effortlessly dragging the carpet up from the living room floor and carrying it through the kitchen and out the back door, leaving it open behind him.

"Yev!" I yelled, moving towards the door.

"Hey, kiddo, wanna keep it down? It's nine a.m.," Pops said, bleary eyed, coming down the stairs with Uncle Ian. "What's going on?"

"Yev just dragged the carpet out of here," I said.

Uncle Ian blinked. "The carpet?" he asked, moving outside and onto the porch. "Yev, what are you doing with that thing...?" He trailed off then before he stepped back into the house. "Mick, your son is setting a carpet on fire."

"Fuck," Pops said, moving outside and heading down the stairs.

"Jesus Christ," I said, moving after him, hearing Uncle Ian at my heels.

"Yev, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Pops demanded as Uncle Ian and I set upon the scene in the backyard, where Yev had found a barrel, and had used a lighter to set the frayed piece of fabric alight.

"For fuck's sake, Yev, it doesn't matter!" I called out to him.

Yev raised his eyes to mine then. "Of course it matters."

"I'm so lost here," Uncle Ian said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"Yev, will you please just tell me what the hell's going on here?" Pops demanded.

"Yev," I said then, my voice barely above a whisper, my eyes effectively pleading with him to say this thing gently.

"This carpet is where Tommy..." Yev cut himself off then, lowering his eyes, pain etched in every vein in his face.

"Son of a bitch," Uncle Ian said quietly.

Pops reached into his pocket then, bringing out his own lighter. He stepped towards the barrel, and lit a section of the carpet up, the blaze overtaking it quickly, so much so that it turned to ash right before our eyes in under an hour.

. . .

Hailey and I met Franny at the bridal shop the following day, where she was getting her wedding dress fitted for the penultimate time. Normally, I'd be more on top of my Maid of Honor duties but, due to my new position at Nell's Rags and commitment to Hailey, much of everything had fallen by the wayside. Of course, this included my relationship with Axel, who had not spoken to me since Yev had thrown him out of my birthday party.

"What was up with you the other night?" Franny asked from inside the fitting room. "You were acting weird..."

"I was drunk," I replied, gently moving Hailey's carriage back and forth so that she wouldn't become fussy. "Happens to most of us..."

Franny peeked her head out from behind the curtain. "Iana, I'm your best friend. We've been getting drunk together since we were teenagers, and I can read you like a book. Now, tell me what's going on or I'll let Penny be my Maid of Honor."

I scoffed. "You wouldn't."

Franny sighed, yanking herself dramatically back into her fitting room in mock-annoyance. "No, I wouldn't, but still. Tell me what's going on."

I sighed. "Flashbacks," I replied, and I saw the curtain twitch then, so I know she'd heard me. "I had some flashbacks the other night, and Axel he..."

"What did he do?"

I shook my head. "Nothing, and everything," I said quietly. "He thought he was trying to help, but it only made things worse." I turned and looked at Hailey, and was rewarded with a big smile and a look of love. "Just wish things were easier..."

"Easy, Mama, easy!" Hailey shouted with joy.

I laughed then, leaning in and kissing her forehead. "Some things in life are, my love. Some things in life are."

"So, he tried to grab you or something?" Franny asked, stepping out of the dressing room, which caused my jaw to hit the floor. "What?" she asked.

My eyes popped at her look; her chosen dress was a white, off-the shoulder number with a long, flared skirt. "Uh, nothing. You look great," I stammered, and Franny smiled, before moving to stand in front of the mirror when the salesgirl came forward with a measuring tape and a small box of pins. "So, did Axel try and grab you?"

"Essentially, yeah, he did," I replied, leaning back in my provided chair. "I don't understand it, Franny, at all. I mean, I constantly tell him that if it's obvious I've worked myself up into a state that the worst thing he can do is grab at me, but now..."

"Now... What?" she asked, her eyes meeting mine through the mirror.

"Now I just feel like I shouldn't even bother trying anymore," I replied, feeling my shoulders slumping automatically. "I mean, things have been off for months. First he doesn't trust me, and then he doesn't listen to me... I'm just... I feel like I should be done, but I don't want to crush him completely..."

"It'll only keep getting worse," Franny said gently. "If you don't tell him right away, I mean. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, the sooner you tell him, the better."

"Guess there's always the last-ditch effort," I said, shrugging.

Franny maneuvered herself so that the salesgirl could get better access to her hips. "Yeah? What were you thinking?"

"Well, I've got my trip to New York," I said, hope radiating in my voice, knowing full well that, despite everything, I hated to fail. "Maybe I could ask him to come along."

"Well, make up your mind and quick," Franny said, turning around on the hassock. "I gave you a plus-one for a reason, Iana. Now, all you have to do is figure out who that's going to be. Axel, or maybe Liam..."

My eyes snapped to hers. "Liam?"

She smiled. "I'm not blind," she said gently, her eyes meeting mine again. "I can see that there's something there, even if you won't admit it to yourself."

I shook my head. "There's no admitting anything," I replied, my tone stubborn as I crossed my arms and leaned back again in my chair. "Nothing's happening."

Franny sighed, pouting in the mirror. "Yeah. Just keep telling yourself that," she said, putting her hands on her hips, continuing to make faces in the mirror, while all the while, I did my best not to allow my mind to wander.

. . .

The first opportunity I had to talk to Axel was the second Monday in June, due to the fact that our schedules weren't meshing as easily has they used to. I drove over to his apartment, knowing that this conversation had to happen, whether we liked it or not. I knew the end was near, but I wasn't prepared to do so that night. However, I also knew that the outcome of this conversation would likely dictate the future of our relationship, if there was a future.

Axel stood back and let me inside when I got there, and didn't say anything as I crossed the room and perched on the couch. He sighed then, shutting the door then and crossing over to sit down beside me. "How are you?"

"Fine," I replied.

He nodded. "Hailey's fine?"

I nodded. "She's fine."

"Good," he said. "That's good."

I sighed. "Look, I actually came here because I wanted to talk about my trip to New York," I said, and Axel looked up at me then. "I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me."

He shook his head. "I don't want to go anywhere with you, Iana."

I blinked. "Come on, you don't mean that," I said, doing my best to laugh it off. "I mean, we haven't been ourselves lately, clearly, and I think that this trip may be the key to get us back where we want to be."

Axel sighed. "I know that's not what you want, Iana."

I blinked. "Excuse me?"

He shook his head. "You keep trying to deny it, but I'm not going to play the fool anymore, Iana, and I'm sorry."

I stammered then, attempting to decipher if there was some kind of hidden meaning behind his words. "I'm sorry... What are you talking about?"

"I know you have feelings for Liam," he said then.

I scoffed then. "Really, Axel?" I demanded then, feeling the rage threatening to boil over to the surface, and I hated it. "You're really back on this again?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "I was never off it."

I sighed, dragging my hand through my hair. "Well, I don't know what you want me to tell you here, Axel, without us fighting it out."

"All we ever do is fight, Iana," Axel said, his tone annoyed. "And the way we reconcile is just empty apologies and meaningless sex."

My mouth fell open. "Axel!" I cried out.

"I knew it was different from the time you got back from Madrid, and so that's why I hacked into your phone," he said, and I stammered again, angered that he would do something like that. "I know that you know that trust is a two-way street, Iana. Obviously, we can't trust each other, so I'm not sure what this is anymore."

I shook my head at him. "Neither can I," I replied.

Axel shook his head. "You don't even deny that you have something to hide," he replied. "I know about Madrid, and what happened over there."

I swallowed, straightening up slightly. "I figured as much."

"What are we even fighting for, Iana?" he asked me then, as I raised my eyes to his. "I know you don't love me anymore."

I opened my mouth to protest then, but no sound came out. Even my ability to deny such a thing was extinguished, and I knew it then, as I hadn't before, that this was definitely on its way to being over.

. . .

I didn't have much time to attend Franny's final dress fitting a week later, as I had to be on a plane to New York later that same day. After yet another lecture from my cousin and best friend about honesty and wedding dates, I did my best not to tune her out. I knew, deep down, that she was right, but still, I was too stubborn to admit it completely.

I headed to the airport just after leaving Franny at the bridal shop; I left my car there, with her holding my keys, so that she could drive it home for me. I smiled at the notion of my cousin being happy and in love with Clark. He was a little rough around the edges, and although I still didn't trust cops completely, he was proving to be the exception. He treated Franny right, and little Ezra, so, at the end of the day, that was all that mattered.

I felt relieved as I boarded the plane that I didn't have any unexpected visitors waiting for me in my row, or in first class in general, and made my way to my seat. I was pleased that nobody ended up taking the seat beside me, and so I occupied my time by pre-ordering my meal and just staring out my window. I answered some emails back and forth thanks to the ever-helpful Wifi on the plane, mentally reminding myself via Penny where the first dinner meeting was, which had been scheduled for that same evening.

I turned and looked out the window of the plane as we took off, and watched as the city lights of Chicago grew smaller and smaller as we went higher and higher. A decision, at the end of the day, or by the end of this trip, had to be made, and only I had the power to make it. I had an idea of what I wanted, I just wasn't fully aware of the consequences connected to my wants, and the domino effect that would likely be set in motion because of them. As I turned and looked out the window once more, I knew then, as I hadn't known before, that this was truly, it had to be, the end of the beginning.

TO BE CONTINUED