36.

A FEW DAYS after the party, Jace didn't show up to his usual physio session.

I knew his mother had cancelled his sessions, but it had been a week since then. I was sure they'd sort it out, or that he'd come anyway. It wasn't like I'd stop him from joining the class if he wasn't enrolled.

Except, he wasn't here, and I spent the entire hour-long class worried about him. By the time I brought the whistle to my mouth, my lips had been chewed raw and bloody.

I bolted straight to the front office, dumping my clipboard, and shooting for the exit. I had to go. I needed to get to Jace's house. I had to check on him. He still hadn't gotten his phone back.

If I pedalled fast, maybe I could make it there within ten minutes, and if his mom was home, I'd find a way, we could – we could –

I stopped in my tracks. Jace turned from the bike rack to smile sheepishly at me.

"Hey, Ali," he said.

I blinked. Then, I was running at him, throwing my arms around his shoulders, and tucking my face into his chest. "I was so worried!"

"I know," he muttered, stroking my hair. "I'm sorry."

I pulled back, frowning at him. "What happened? Where were you? Did your mother... I mean, did you guys talk? Did she stop you from coming today?"

Jace glanced over my shoulders and I listened as the glass doors shut with a thud – a few of the class members were leaving. He looked back at me.

"Can we go somewhere more private?"

I nodded and we began walking to my house.

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Luckily, my mother wasn't home. She was out running errands. Sure, she'd lightened up a lot since our confrontation, but I wasn't in the mood for her to send us weird looks and interrupt with fruit slices every ten minutes. Especially when Jace seemed so worried all of a sudden.

Unluckily, my father was home.

At least with him, he'd only shaken Jace's hand a little too roughly (something about always wanting to be the protective father) before smirking at us and leaving us to ourselves.

I'd practically dragged him to my room, quietly closing the door and locking it with a soft click.

"I tried to come," Jace said, when it was finally just the two of us. I sat down on the edge of my bed beside him and frowned. "I was going to walk. I was hoping my mom wouldn't question where I was going, but she had expected it. She was waiting for me in front of the door."

He paused, took a deep breath, then said, "I think she realised we went to that party together. And that... we spent the night together."

He was blushing now. I stood, outraged.

"What!" I spat. "But we didn't even do anything! It was just a party! I mean, this town is literally tiny. Obviously, there'd be a chance that I'd be there! I mean, how did she even figure it out?"

"I guess she spoke with some of the other parents. It's so annoying because she knew I was going to a party. I mean, she was overjoyed! I was finally a normal teenager! She didn't even care when I got home the next morning. No, she smirked at me. She loved it. Until she realised it was with you." Jace ran a hand over his face. "Honestly, I'm surprised she didn't figure it out earlier."

I sighed, falling back to sit on the bed beside him.

"This feels impossible," I said. I turned to him and he frowned, glaring at my bedroom floor. I leaned closer, resting my head on his shoulder. "I just – I don't know what to do to make her happy. To make her trust me."

"It's not you that she doesn't trust, Jas," he said. He wrapped an arm around me, and I craned my neck to meet his eyes. "It's me. I'm not where she wants me to be, you know? She expects me to be – I don't know. Happier? Except her idea of happy is like smiling constantly and laughing at everything. Happier is agreeing to go back to California in the middle of the semester. Back to a school where I have no friends – where I have nothing."

"California?" I whispered.

I wasn't sure if I could handle Jace moving miles away. Not yet. Jace's hand moved, taking my fingers into his, and I knew he was thinking the same as me.

"What are we going to do, Jace?"

He opened his mouth, then closed it, shaking his head. He screwed his eyes shut, breathing deeply.

"I don't know," he said, his voice cracking. He spoke slowly, trying to steady the tremble in his words. "I – it's just – every time we try to talk, it turns into a fight. And it's like, she just – she can't understand."

His voice grew even quieter.

"I'm not who she wants me to be."

His voice tore my heart and I twisted to gather him into my arms. He hugged me tight, squeezing me against him and burying his face into the crook of my neck. We held each other for a moment in silence, breathing heavily. The silence of the room echoed through my bones.

If he moved back to California, we wouldn't be able to hold each other like this. We wouldn't be able to hold hands, to kiss, to talk whenever we wanted. We wouldn't see each other every day or make faces from across the classroom.

And worse, I wasn't sure how Jace would cope moving back there.

California was where Jace had fallen into the depression that almost took him from me.

He was recovering. He was getting better. But he wasn't there yet.

I remembered how painful it was going back to school after Amber's accident. The way people stared, whispered. The things they said. It set me back months.

Even now, I waited impatiently for college – until I could move away from this town. Until I was no longer labelled as the 'girl who almost died', or the 'girl whose best friend died'. Until no one was staring at me everywhere I went, glancing down as if to check for my limp – until no one was waiting for me to crack.

If Jace went back to California now, I wasn't sure how he'd be able to handle it. At least I had Piper.

Jace would be alone.

"No matter how hard I try," Jace whispered against my neck, his breath hot on my skin, "I'll never be enough for her."

I didn't know what to say. Jace would know. Jace always knew. Except now, it was Jace who needed it. And I felt useless, with him here in my arms, his shoulders shaking and arms clinging onto me like I'd disappear.

I squeezed him in my arms, and he pulled me even closer, until I was almost straddling him on the edge of the bed.

And I knew, what Jace needed the most was someone who would listen.

He wasn't looking for advice. He didn't need someone to argue with him. He just needed someone to be there, and I was determined to be that for him.

"I think she's scared," he muttered eventually. His breathing had evened out, but he still held me tightly, his arms strong around my waist.

"She's scared that if we date, I'll get hurt again and do something stupid. Or she's scared I'll be so attached that I'll never leave West Mormet again. Whatever it is, she's scared. I can see it when she yells at me. Hear it in her voice."

"Yells at you?" I echoed, frowning. "What has she been saying?"

He laughed in the form of a sharp exhale through his nose, then pulled back to shoot me a bitter smile. "Nothing special. Just things I knew she was always thinking. Today she told me she wishes I was back to normal."

"Normal?"

He shrugged. "Normal. Back to when I was pretending that I wanted to be alive. Except, now I actually do want to be here. To live my life and have a future. But I guess I'm not showing it well enough for her, so it doesn't matter."

He shifted for a second, his lips pressing into a thin line.

"Do you know what she calls my attempt? She calls it my little accident. Like I slipped off that fucking ledge by accident. Like I hadn't thought about it for years. Like I hadn't planned it. No, it was a little accident. And a few months in West Mormet will make it go away. Make everyone forget about it, then we can return to our usual, right?"

"Jace," I muttered because I didn't know what I could say to make him feel better. I wanted to take all his pain away and it killed me that I couldn't do that for him. It angered me.

My whole body burned. I wanted to march up to her door and scream at her. Scream until my lungs were emptied of oxygen and she realised what she was doing to her son.

"It's fine," he said, avoiding my eyes.

I frowned, taking his face into my hands, and forcing him to look at me.

"No," I said. "No, it's not fine, Jace. You're eighteen. You're human. You deserve to be happy."

"I just – when I try to explain to her, I just – I shut down." He shook his head, his fingers spreading over my back. "I wish I could be more like you, Jasmine. I wish I had your courage."

"My courage?" I scoffed, smiling gently at him. "I'm the least courageous person I know."

"Jasmine, you relearned to drive. You confronted your mother and Piper. You're the most courageous person in all of West Mormet." He released a breath, swallowed hard, then murmured, "I just get so scared. I see that look in her eyes and God, it's terrifying, you know?"

"You think I wasn't scared?" I asked. He looked at me, with those dark, golden eyes, and I smiled. "I was scared shitless when I got in your car. I still get scared. So scared that it feels like I might vomit. And my mom – God that took me a whole year to work up the courage, just to talk to her. And you know who gave me that courage?"

I brushed my thumbs over his cheeks.

"You did, Jace."

He stared at me, his brows wrinkling. And before he could speak, I continued.

"You were brave for moving all the way to West Mormet in the middle of the semester. You were brave for recovering after your attempt. For seeing a therapist." I paused and shot him a teasing smirk. "For asking me out. I mean, when you first moved here, you were calling me cute and throwing around compliments – I thought you were the most confident guy around."

He barked out a laugh and tilted his head at me. "You really are something, you know that, Ali?"

I warmed but jutted my chin out, grinning cockily. "You're dating me for a reason, aren't you?"

He nodded, smiling. Then, his face turned serious and he nodded again.

"I am," he said. "And I'm not going to let my mother stop that. I'm –" he sucked in a deep breath, and, released it slowly – "I'm going to talk to her."

I smiled, squeezing his cheeks. "That's my boy."

He laughed, prying my hands off his face, and pressing kisses to the knuckles.

"Will you come with me, though?" he asked, glancing at me from beneath his lashes. "For moral support?"

My lips twitched. "Of course. I mean, you're dating me for a reason, aren't you?"

This time, he kissed me on the mouth.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi! Here's a surprise update before the usual one! I hope you liked it! We've got 4 more to go hehe

Next time: the dreaded confrontation - is Jace going back to California???