28.

AFTERWARDS, I sat in the car beside Jace, my eyes swollen and throat dry. My trembling fingers rested on my lap and I sunk into the seat, exhausted.

I'd cried and cried until I couldn't anymore. My body was drained, every muscle aching and sore. My face burned with irritation from rubbing my eyes until I was red.

The car rumbled beneath me as Jace drove me home in silence. I was too tired to think – too tired to remember how easily the car could swerve off the road, or how the windshield could shatter and stain my hair with glass.

Suddenly, Jace's hand was on mine, toying with my fingers to grab my attention. I looked up, meeting his gaze, and he smiled at me.

"We're here," he said simply.

I spun, realising the car had stopped across the street from my house. The road was empty. Silent. My mom's car sat in the driveway, and I knew she was home. She was probably waiting for me.

With a click, Jace unlocked the car doors, but I didn't move. And neither did he.

We both sat in a tense silence – both of us not moving. Both of us filled with unspoken words. Actions that flitted briefly across our minds, but never across our skin.

I was still tired after visiting Amber. I was drained from all the crying. Exhausted from speaking to her – seeing her grave for the first time in over a year.

Somehow, in just a few hours, Jace had managed to transform November 18th. It was Amber's birthday, and the day I'd visited her. The day I'd felt her around me. The day I'd introduced Jace to her.

My chest swelled. There were so many words I wanted to say, and yet nothing came out. I turned to him, my lips parting in silence. He frowned.

"You okay, Jas?"

I pursed my lips, nodding and glancing back at my house. I had to go – yet I couldn't. Not until I'd said it.

"Jace," I managed, my voice faltering and fading back into silence.

My throat burned, my lips failing to form the words I wanted to say. Swallowing a breath, I took his hand, hoping the gesture would convey my feelings enough.

He was silent for a moment. Then, he squeezed my fingers and said, "I understand."

"It really meant a lot to me," I said finally.

"It was nothing," he said, shrugging. "Fairview isn't a far drive, and I was happy to finally meet Amber."

I shook my head, meeting his eyes with a sharp gaze.

"It's everything," I said. "Not just today. It's you, comforting me even when you didn't know what was wrong. It's you, not hating me even when I kept things hidden and took my anger out on you. It's you, being there for me. No strings attached. Always."

His fingers tightened around mine, then he was pulling me forward, unclicking my seatbelt and wrapping his arms around me. He hugged me tightly – so tightly I thought I could feel his heart pounding between us.

"Don't say that," he muttered. "I'm being selfish. You're just – I couldn't leave you alone if I tried. I can't stand seeing you cry. I can't stand not – not touching you. Holding your hand or hugging you. Kissing you. Every minute I'm away from you, all I can think about is – Jasmine would like this show. That girl looks like Jasmine. I wonder what Jasmine's doing. I should text Jasmine."

He released a bitter laugh and I could feel him shaking his head, his chin rubbing the top of my head.

"I said I wouldn't do anything until we were better. I said I'd wait, just in case. But I can't help myself. So, don't say that. Don't thank me. I've been so fucking selfish, Jas. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve you."

I pulled back, shooting him an incredulous look, and shoving my finger at his chest.

"You shut your mouth Jace Wilson," I snapped. His eyes widened and I shoved his chest harder. "If you think you're being selfish, then what am I? From the first day I saw you, all I wanted was to learn more. Talk to you more. Be around you more."

He met my eye, and his expression softened. He listened, lifting a hand to brush the side of my face. I leaned into his touch, continuing.

"The thought that people know you better than me – that there's people in California who know all about your life before you moved here – it makes me so jealous." I laughed, embarrassed. "If anyone's selfish, it's me."

"God," he murmured. His eyes were half-shut, staring intently at my lips. "God, I can't, Jas. I can't. We both know this is stupid."

"I've done a lot of stupid things in my life."

He quirked a brow at me. "I jumped off a building."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "It's not a competition."

"But if it was," he said, smirking. "I'd win.

"The point is," I said, rolling my eyes with a grin. "I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, Jace. But you are, by far, the best stupid thing I've come across in years."

He hummed, leaning in to brush his lips against mine. "Calling me stupid is not a great way to convince me."

He was teasing me. His lips were barely touching mine. A question. A tease. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Oh, shut up."

I grabbed his collar, and I kissed him. His arms tightened around me, his hands drifting over my back, to my hips. His touch was soft, unsure, his lips gentle.

I needed to change that.

I traced my tongue over his upper lip. He gasped. Instantly, his touch grew passionate – intentional. He grabbed my hips with one hand, the other drifting to the side of my thigh.

He took control of the kiss and I sighed against his lips, loving the feeling of him against me, wanting him to be closer. Closer.

I dragged my hands up his chest and over his shoulders. His broad shoulders. I could feel the muscle beneath his shirt – lean from his jogging and strong from his physio sessions. I knew he did extra physio outside of the pool, but judging from his toned muscles, I began to wonder how much time he really spent in the centre's gym.

Jace's mouth left mine, attaching to the skin of my jaw, then my neck, trailing his way to the spot beneath my ear where he kissed and licked. Heat blossomed in my chest and stomach. My breath caught and my fingers tightened around his shirt, holding him there.

I wanted more.

"Jace," I breathed.

His mouth left my skin and he blew on the wet spot left behind. "Yes?"

I groaned, rolling my eyes, and grabbing the back of his head, pulling his face back to my neck. "I didn't say stop."

He laughed against my throat, but he continued to pepper me with kisses anyway. His lips slid down my neck to my collarbone, nipping at it and kissing it. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him back up to press a kiss against his lips.

"Fucking hell, Jas," he muttered against my mouth.

I smiled. He tasted sweet, like the honey his eyes reflected in the sunlight, and I leaned further into his touch, wanting to taste it more, wanting to memorise the feeling of his tongue on mine.

His hands roamed over me, searching my skin, wandering beneath my sleeves and the hem of my shirt – only an inch, not daring to move further, despite the twitch in his fingertips. He spread warmth where he touched, and my heart pounded eagerly in my chest, responding to each of his movements, to every sound he uttered.

And then he was pulling away, his eyes dark and frantic, and he was murmuring, "I love you, Jasmine."

And he ruined everything.

I staggered back in my seat, my spine colliding with the car door. My eyes widened and I shook my head, and he was mirroring my reaction, reeling back with wide eyes.

"Shit," he muttered. "Shit, shit, shit. I shouldn't have said that, huh?"

"I –"

"Just pretend it didn't happen," he rushed out, reaching towards me. I let him touch me, taking my hands into his own, rubbing his fingers tentatively over my knuckles. "Pretend I didn't say anything. I – fuck – I'm sorry."

"Is it true?"

He blinked, stopping. His breath caught. It was so silent.

And he nodded.

"You love me?" I asked, my voice breaking.

"I love you," he confirmed. His face was pink, but there was a new steeliness in his eyes – a sharpness. "I know we haven't known each other long, but I love you. When I'm with you, it's like California never existed. It's like all I've ever known is West Mormet, and heated indoor pools, and curls knotted in my fingers."

His eyes flickered to my lips.

"Your breath mixed in mine," he added.

I was blushing too, now. I shook my head, avoiding his eyes.

I thought of my family. I thought of my mother crying in the kitchen when she thought I wasn't listening. I thought of the nights after Amber's death when I snapped at my father, shouting at him, crying, releasing my tornado of emotions onto the nearest person.

I thought about the tears that would well up in his eyes – my grown father, the man who protected me, raised me, crying because of an anger I couldn't control.

I thought of Piper. How she'd taken care of me, and all I returned was apathy. Hostility. Forced small talk and faked smiles.

And I thought of Jace. How I'd avoided his questions. How many times I'd left him, unable to voice my emotions. Unable to control myself. I thought of how I'd burdened him with my mental health – how I'd broken down when all he wanted was to drive around with me. How many times he'd comforted me, held me as I sobbed into his chest.

"I'm difficult to love," I said, finally. I swallowed thickly. "How could you love me? How can you love a broken version of myself?"

Jace was silent. His fingers stilled on my skin. Then, he was grabbing my hands, squeezing them and drawing my gaze to his.

"I love you, Jasmine. I love every part of you," he said. "Not because of who you were before, but because of who you are now, in spite of all the bullshit this universe has sent your way."

"I can't go on normal dates with you," I said pointedly, tears burning my eyes. "I can't sit in a car whenever you feel like it and go on long drives."

He wrinkled his brow at me. "I much prefer walking, anyway."

"I can't go to parties," I said. "Amber died after we went to a party. I can't – I can't do it anymore."

"I was never one for parties," he replied easily. "Too loud. Crowded. Bad music."

"And – and sometimes I get so depressed, I just want to lie in bed and watch bad reality TV."

"I'll bring the America's Next Top Model," he said.

"I might yell at you. I might say some things I don't mean."

"Jasmine," he interrupted gently. He squeezed my fingers and smiled at me. "I love you. No matter what. I want you to be your boyfriend."

"Are you asking me out?"

"Honestly, I've been trying to ask you out since the day we met."

I laughed a watery laugh, and Jace grinned at me.

"Will you, then?" he asked.

"Will I what?"

"Be my girlfriend?"

My heart jumped into my throat. My entire body felt alight, burning with fire. This was a bad idea.

Relationships were a bad idea.

People were expendable. People were vulnerable. Anything could happen to Jace. And with my track record, the universe was bound to think of something.

But he was here, smiling at me with that goofy, hopeful smile. His ears had turned pink and his honey brown eyes glittered at me. His lips were puffy, still red from kissing me.

My skin burned everywhere he'd touched me, and I wanted to burn more – I wanted to burn until I was engulfed in flames and all I knew was Jace Wilson and the touch of his skin.

So, against all common sense and every logical nerve in my body, I nodded.

I nodded, and my lips tugged into a wide grin. Jace flashed his teeth at me, smiling, and he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my lips.

I threw my arms around his neck, holding him close, but he cut it short, pulling away.

"What?" I pouted.

"I need to warn you," he started. "I'm difficult to love, too."

"Oh, believe me, I know," I teased.

"Really," he said, grinning back. "I get depressed sometimes. I can't leave my bed for days."

"Well, I hope there's room for two," I said.

"And I get flustered easily. I blush and – and you should know, you'd be my first girlfriend."

I quirked a brow at that. Jace was, to put it bluntly, hot. He was attractive, kind, funny. How had no other girl snatched him up before?

I'd dated my fair share of guys before. Nothing serious, though. The longest relationship I'd managed was three months in middle school, and I was an eyesore. It was during my phase of fingerless gloves and a side fringe, so the fact that I'd managed a relationship and Jace hadn't was astounding.

I lifted a hand to brush the side of his jaw, where his blush blossomed and crept down his neck.

"I love it when you blush," I admitted. I leaned forward, pressing my lips against his jaw. "I'm glad no other girl has gotten to see you like this."

His hands had drifted around my waist to the small of my back, where they stilled and tightened, tensing beneath my touch. I smirked against his jaw before pulling back.

"And," he continued, his voice cracking. He swallowed. "And sometimes I disappear into myself. I lose myself and bottle things up. I distance myself. I cut off all my friends. I'm working on it. I'm going to therapy regularly, and it's getting better, but you should know. You deserve to know."

I released a tight breath. Jace's eyes flashed and his lips tugged down into an insecure frown. I grabbed his hand, squeezing it in that comforting gesture he always did to me.

"And I'm working on myself, too," I said slowly. "We're both healing. We're both learning. Let's do it together, yeah?"

His frown twisted. And he was smiling at me – a tiny smile. A hopeful smile.

And then he was leaning forward. He pressed a chaste kiss to my lips and my chest burned and burned. It was amazing how such a small gesture could light a fire in me.

And he pulled away, and I was still burning, and he looked at me with those fiery golden eyes, and said, "I love you, Jasmine Ali."

And for the first time, I replied, "I love you too, Jace Wilson."

We were burning gold, and it was perfect.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Roll credits! Just kidding, there's over 10 more chapters hehe! sorry for the late update but I hope this chapter made up for it! let me know what you thought of it, and what your predictions are for the last bit of the story!

thank you as always for reading, voting and commenting! see you soon!!