17.

"– AND IF YOU NEED ME, you'll go to the office and have them call me."

"Yes, Mom," I sighed for the fiftieth time.

My mom stood, blocking the front door, her hands splayed on her hips as she stopped me from going to school. Her lips twisted uneasily, and she frowned at me, her sharp eyes piercing through me.

After I'd spent hours at the diner with Jace talking about nothing, I had to come home.

And just like I'd expected, my parents were waiting for me.

But, where I expected an argument, all I got was my mom hugging me gently and murmuring, "It's been a long day. Go get washed up. Dinner's on the counter."

On one hand, I was relieved. I'd managed to avoid a lecture, skip an uncomfortable chat. But on the other hand – nothing had changed.

Nothing ever changed, no matter how many red flags I shoved down my mother's throat. Sometimes we'd be close. She'd send me back to therapy against my will. She'd give me another book about grief to add to my collection. She tried. And a week later, we'd settle back into our old routine.

Faking smiles, stifled silence, drifting through the days.

No matter how much people insisted they were there for you, no one wanted to sit through the hard conversations. They cared, but not that much.

I understood. I was exhausting to be around. People felt the need to censor themselves around me. Conversations fell silent when I joined. Masks slipped into place. I understood. It wasn't like I wanted to burden people.

And since I hadn't spoken to my mother last night, that meant I needed to suffer through some sort of lecture in the morning – even if it was one I'd heard a million times before.

Empty words. Because we had called her – or at least, Piper had. And what had she done? Yelled at me in a parking lot in front of my friends?

"And make sure you eat lunch," my mom said finally.

I nodded, tugging my backpack higher on my shoulder. "I will, Mom. Can I go now? I'll be late."

She sighed, stepping aside. "Have a good day, sweetie."

"Thanks, Mom," I replied, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek before pushing the door open.

I grabbed my bike and hopped off the porch in one swift motion, wheeling it down the driveway as quick as possible. The morning breeze hit me immediately and I breathed in the fresh air, trying to cheer myself up.

Sure, on Friday there'd been a big fat reminder that Amber was dead, and I was the pitiful leftover. Sure, I'd had a slightly awkward conversation with Jace where I basically just cried the entire time. But today was different. Better.

Who was I kidding?

I dreaded going to school, but I knew skipping school would only cause my mother a heart attack. I'd already taken the Friday and Saturday off from my volunteering at the physio centre. My mom had given me a weekend to bounce back to normal, and that was what was going to happen.

So, I forced a smile on my face and hopped onto my bike, ready for another dreadful day at school.

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As soon as I entered the school gates, I knew something was off.

For the second time in a year, no one looked at me and sent me a pitying look when I entered the school – the first time being when Jace first transferred here.

I locked my bike outside of the main building before making my way to my locker. It was strange. Everyone was preoccupied with something else. If it hadn't been so unsettling, I probably would've been enjoying the lack of attention way more.

Except, it was uncanny. The way people huddled together, glancing back and forth, as if searching for someone. As soon as their friends stepped into the main hallway, they were on them like a swarm of wasps, whispering and muttering in scattered groups beside lockers.

The tell-tale signs of a new rumour.

Piper waited for me at my locker, her arms crossed over her textbooks anxiously. Her eyes landed on me and she sent me an uneasy smile.

"Hey, Jasmine," she started.

"Hey," I said, offering her a small smile.

"I haven't seen you since Friday." I knew where she was going with this. She avoided my eyes, her voice careful. "How are you feeling?"

Code for are you still depressed, or?

"Fine," I said slowly. "I just needed some rest."

"Jas, look, about calling your parents –"

"It's fine, Piper," I interrupted. She frowned at me, guilt tearing through her eyes, and I rested a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Really. No hard feelings. I get it."

Because I did. What else was she supposed to do? She didn't know any better. She was a teenager, just like me. And although she hadn't been as close to Amber as I had been, she still knew her. She was still at that party that night.

She probably thought my parents would help me, like hers had helped her.

She didn't know my mom was more concerned with things feeling normal, and my dad was busy following my mom around like a lost puppy. How could she?

"What's everyone whispering about?" I asked, switching the topic. "New menu at the cafeteria? Mr Mallory finally retire? New transfer student?"

"I wish," Piper replied wistfully, leaning against the locker beside me. "No. It's about something else. Or, more accurately, someone else."

I blinked, looking up from my locker to meet her gaze. She frowned, nodding in the way of a slight tilt of her head. I followed the gesture to find Jace slinking down the hallway, a hood pulled over his face. Around him, people were shooting pitying looks his way, mixed with curiosity.

My heart sunk into my stomach.

"What about him?" I asked, my voice low.

"It's... really stupid. Honestly," Piper said.

"Tell me."

"Majorly disrespectful too. Worse than any of the mafia or gang theories we came up with –"

"Piper," I interrupted gently. "What's the rumour?"

She frowned, sucked in a tight breath, then said, "They're saying Jace Wilson tried to kill himself."

My throat grew tight.

Although I'd always known there was something about him – something he kept hidden, something he avoided entirely – I'd never had expected that. Not from Jace. Not from cheery, positive, kind, sweet Jace.

"Honestly, it's completely rude and disrespectful, and I don't think it's even true, so –"

"Who started it?" I asked, cutting Piper off.

She shrugged. "Some junior. They said they found one of his files in the counsellor's office when she left to get a print-out this morning. Jace Wilson isn't his real name."

"What?"

Piper nodded, pursing her lips. "It's Jace Walker."

"Why..." I trailed off, shaking my head. "Why would he use a different name?"

"Because," Piper began, "when you Google his name and his old school, there's a news article. Six months ago, he..."

She didn't need to finish her sentence. We both released small sighs and watched as Jace walked uncomfortably down the hallway, trying to ignore all the eyes on him.

A painful pressure grew in my chest watching him. Even if the rumour was true, he didn't deserve this. No one did.

My fingers curled into a fist, nails biting skin, and I made a decision.

"I'll meet you later," I said quickly. I shut my locker door, beginning to walk towards Jace's retreating back.

"But we have class soon," Piper said, her eyes growing.

"I know," I said, waving a hand and hiking my backpack higher. "But I need to speak to him, Piper. You know."

She chewed her lip, her eyes darting between me and Jace before she finally nodded. "Alright. I'll tell the teacher you're at the nurses."

"Thank you." I cracked a smile before turning and darting down the hallway.

My shoes squeaked against the tiles and I caught up with him right as he'd pushed out the doors to the back of the school.

"Jace!" I called out, shoving the doors open and following him out of the main building. He glanced over his shoulder, his dark eyes meeting mine. A chill ran down my spine.

He knew about the rumours.

Of course, he did. People were always curious about the new kid, especially in a town as small as West Mormet. One of his so-called 'friends' had probably interrogated him about it before I'd gotten to school.

"Jace," I repeated, stepping closer. His eyes left mine to glance at our surroundings.

The courtyard had small groups of students scattered around and they turned to watch us. I frowned, taking his elbow, and leading him out of the courtyard to duck behind a brick wall.

Privacy.

I leaned against the wall, releasing a sigh as we were finally out of sight. My hair stuck to the bricks like Velcro and I turned to face Jace. He watched me with a grim expression – dark eyes and furrowed brow.

"So, I take it you've heard the rumours?"

"Yes," I admitted immediately. I kicked off the wall, the bricks tearing at my hair, and stepped closer to him. Slowly, awkwardly, my hand drifted in the air between us. Without hesitation, I hooked our fingers together. Then, I took his hand into mine, pressing our palms together. "Are you okay?"

He laughed. I shook my head.

"Stupid question?"

"The only question," he replied, shrugging. "The only question ever."

"It's so stupid," I said, frowning. "That everyone is just spreading that rumour around. It's like no one cares that you're an actual person."

"I don't even –" his voice cracked, and he paused to suck in a shaky breath, his fingers trembling around mine. "I don't even care about the story. It's just the stares. The stupid fucking stares. Eyes always following me. Frowning. Pitying me."

I nodded. I knew how it felt.

"It's like everyone sees me as damaged property now. Like one wrong step and I'll jump off a fucking bridge or something. This is why I changed my name. This is why I used my mom's name when I transferred. Because I knew this would happen," he continued. "And I'm not, you know? Not damaged property. I'm more than that. I'm strong and – and recovered – and that should mean something –"

His voice broke and he choked on his words, his head falling to my shoulder. My heart leapt into my throat and I held him there.

An almost-embrace.

And my stomach stirred because that meant it was true. It was true. Six months ago –

"I tried to kill myself." Jace finished my thought. "Six months ago, in California."

He tilted his head up to meet my eyes. Honey swimming in salt. Tears threatened to spill and his bottom lip quaked. He sucked it between his teeth and shook his head, letting out a frustrated groan.

"Fuck!" he shouted, spinning away.

His hands drifted to his head and he grabbed at his hair, shaking his head wildly.

"Why am I so fucking broken?" he spat.

"Jace," I murmured, my own voice quiet and crumbling. I stepped towards him, reaching up to wind my arms around his torso in a proper hug. His own arms came up to squeeze me tightly.

"Don't you dare try and say that I'm not," he muttered. "Look at me. Crying at nine in the morning. I'm so useless."

"Jace," I said, holding him tighter. "You're not useless. We're all broken. We all have our moments where we cry at 9AM, where we can't hold it in any longer."

"I just – I'm so sick of this. I thought I was done with it all. Done with the pity and whispers and shit."

"I know."

"It's the worst. It just reminds me of – of – of me. Me, six months ago. Me, at my lowest. And I just start to feel broken all over again. Worthless. I just – I just want it to stop."

He was crying now, and I knew it. I could hear it in the watery way he spoke and the tremble of his lips. I heard it in the way his voice choked on the word broken. I felt it in the way he held me tighter, like I would disappear.

Like he would disappear.

"I know," I whispered, clawing at the back of his sweater. "I know. And it will, one day."

His arms tightened around me. I could feel his heart racing between us.

"One day," he repeated quietly.

"And you know what? One day, people will give us those stupid pitiful looks and condescending 'advice' and we won't even care. We won't be affected at all."

He snorted. "I doubt it."

My own lips tilted up into a bitter smile. "They are pretty annoying, huh?"

"Annoying is an understatement," he said, lifting a brow. "Someone stopped on my way to my locker earlier and told me I should join Scientology."

"There's a Scientologist in our school?" I sputtered, pulling back to shoot him a bewildered look.

He sent me a half-shrug and a watery grin. "Apparently."

"Now this is what the student body should be talking about," I said, raising a brow. "Give me a minute, I have a rumour to spread."

He laughed and I grinned at his reaction. It was a little strange. Seeing Jace with bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. I had to admit, the red really brought out the brightness in those brown eyes of his. I sighed, reaching up to wipe tears from his blotchy skin.

His smile fell and his eyes landed on mine. I swallowed thickly, shooting him a comforting smile as if my skin didn't burn where I touched him, as if my stomach wasn't fluttering low in my abdomen.

"Jace," I said slowly. "You'll get through this. I know you will. And I'll be here for you every step of the way."

He paused for a moment, his eyes searching my own. In the silence, his hand slid into mine and I blinked, tightening my fingers around his.

"Because we're all broken," Jace said. I nodded and, although his eyes still teared and both our throats were dry and cracking, I smiled.

Because it was true.

Because despite all the horrible thrown our way, I knew Jace would get through it. And for the first time in a while, I felt like I would too. And we'd both be there to pull each other up along the way.

It was different with him. For the first time in a while, I felt understood. For once, I didn't feel like a burden.

Sometimes, that was all I needed. Someone who understood. Someone who could read me, even in the silence. Even with all the unspoken words drifting between us.

My hand tightened in his grip and he reflected my smile.

"Because we're all broken."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

oop a bit of a sad chapter! I mean, I guess most of the story has been pretty sad so far lmao but this one especially! Let me know what you all thought! Any predictions for next time?

Thank you as always for reading, commenting and voting! It makes my week! See you soon 😊