14.

MY FINGERS PRESSED INTO MY FACE, tapping gently at my swollen eyelids. I'd stopped crying a while ago, but I refused to look up.

Beside me, Jace's arm pressed into mine. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but I kept my eyes squeezed shut. Afraid.

"I'm sorry," I managed finally.

"For what?"

"Crying," I scoffed because it was obvious, pushing my fingers harder into my skin as if the pain would make the shame disappear. "Like an idiot."

A moment of silence passed, before he leaned closer to me, his shoulder knocking clumsily into mine.

"Jasmine, it's normal to cry," he said quietly, chuckling slightly. "Especially... today."

October 12.

Worst day ever.

"I just – I miss her, you know?" I said, my voice feint. "I miss her every day. And I keep waiting for it to stop fucking hurting. I keep waiting to wake up one morning and not think about her the second I open my eyes. A day where I can hear a car drive past without freezing up, or walk past Simon Street without holding my breath. But it's been a year, Jace. It's never going to happen."

I released a tight breath, a sudden ache erupting in my chest. Because it was true. Everyone spoke about how it'd get easier. With time, they'd say. You'd get over it. You'd forget. Things would go back to normal.

Even my mom had gotten over it, like she hadn't known Amber since she was crawling in diapers. She'd gotten over it in a month.

I wondered vaguely if Amber's parents still thought of her. They'd moved out of town the week after the accident. They'd probably had moved sooner if they had been able to sell their house quicker.

I frowned, grabbing at my shirt, clawing at my chest. It hurt so bad.

How could this get easier?

"What was she like?"

I blinked, turning to finally face Jace. He watched me with those brown eyes – brown like honey. Warm and sweet. His lips were tight, tugged into a small frown. But it wasn't pity.

It was understanding.

"Amber?" I asked stupidly.

He laughed. "No, your middle school principal. Who else, Jasmine?"

I chuckled weakly, rolling my eyes, and he smiled at my reaction. His hand reached up, brushing the hair out of my face. My skin burned where he touched.

"Tell me," he said.

I released a breath, my mind drifting to Amber. Not Amber lying in that mutilated car. Not Amber, dead.

Amber, when she was alive.

"She was my best friend," I said finally. "I met her in day care. Known her since I was two years old. We went to preschool together. We did ballet together when we were six. We had our first crushes on the same boy."

I laughed, remembering Antonio from sixth grade – a dorky, lanky boy with overgrown hair and glasses. I remembered us both developing crushes on him. I remembered fighting – not over who had dibs, but over who would give up first, because I wanted Amber to be happy, and she wanted me to be happy.

In the end, Isabella Montero got her because she was older and had pretty green eyes, but it didn't matter, because I had Amber.

"She always put me first," I continued. "She was way more popular than me, but if anyone dared to tease me or exclude me, she was the first one to stand up for me. She – she made me come out of my shell. I just... I miss her."

"She sounds like an incredible person."

I turned, meeting Jace's eye. He sent me a small smile and it was then that I realised I was smiling. And Amber's face, always stuck on the underside of my eyelids, was smiling back now – because I was remembering her in fifth grade when she got gum stuck in her hair.

I was remembering her in freshman year, when she still had braces and somehow managed to make them a trend in our grade. I was remembering her in tenth grade when she broke her heel at a school dance and continued dancing all night like it wouldn't have been the most humiliating thing to anyone else.

I was remembering her alive.

"She was," I said finally. My heart swelled painfully. "She would've really liked you, Jace."

"Really?" he asked, his voice lilting curiously.

I nodded. "Oh, definitely. Probably would've asked for your number too. She liked tall, funny boys with a smile, although she definitely preferred blonds."

"And you?"

"Me?"

"Do you prefer blonds?"

I warmed, tearing my eyes away. "Not particularly."

He hummed for a moment before pushing himself off the ground, standing in front of me. I turned to see him offer me a hand and small smile.

"Well, we'd better head inside before the assembly ends," he said. "Give you time to... freshen up."

"I look like shit, don't I?"

"I never said that."

"My eyes are red and swollen, aren't they?"

"I happen to like girls with puffy red eyes. It really brings out the brown."

I snorted, taking his hand and pulling myself up. I brushed my pants off, sucking in a deep breath.

"Thanks, Jace," I said sincerely. I met his eyes, offering him a smile. "Really. You're a good listener."

He arched a brow at me. "Not many listeners in your life, huh?"

"Ninety-nine percent talkers."

"The worst."

I nodded, chuckling to myself. "That's an understatement."

He sent me a half-shrug when a click sounded behind him. We both turned to see Piper storming into the courtyard, her dark hair flowing out behind her. Her brows were furrowed in angry determination, but as soon as her eyes landed on me, they softened into something more like worry.

"Jasmine," she said quickly, walking towards me. Her eyes scanned me, giving me a thorough once-over. "Are you okay?"

I swallowed thickly, feeling self-conscious beneath her scrutinising glare. I wondered if my eyes were too swollen, too red. Were there still tear stains on my cheeks? Was I flushed? I ran a hand through my hair, forcing myself to keep calm.

"I'm fine," I reassured her, sending what I hoped to be a comforting smile.

"Are you sure?" she pushed. "Because I'm sure that was hard on you, Jas. Sit down for a minute. Do you need some water?"

"I'm fine," I repeated, pursing my lips.

She frowned, unsure, but let it go for the moment. "I'm so sorry, I don't know what Principal Hawker was thinking."

"She wanted to commemorate Amber's memory," I said, my voice shakier than I'd hoped. I shook my head and took a steadying breath. "It's fine. I get it."

"Let's go to your locker and get your things," she said, reaching towards me to gently take my arm.

"My things?" I echoed, my feet staying rooted in place. "Why?"

"I've already called your mom and dad."

My heart dropped into my stomach, sending a wave of nausea through me. Of course, she'd called my parents. Why wouldn't she? It made sense. She was worried about me.

And yet, I couldn't help the hatred that erupted in my chest, a burning fire fuelled by a year of being monitored. Because now, no matter how much progress I'd made in waking up for school, and smiling, and attending class, and volunteering, and pretending I was normal – now it was all pointless.

Now, I was back to square one.

My jaw clenched and I held back my anger. My eyes darted to Piper and I sent her a pointed look.

"You called my parents?"

"Yes," she muttered sheepishly. "They're on their way. Your mom is leaving work."

Work.

My mom worked as a lawyer. She loved her job, and I knew she secretly hated it when she took three months off work after the accident to look after me. And here I was again. Ruining it all for her.

Being a burden.

"Come on, Jasmine. They'll be here any minute now. Get your bike."

"I'll get it," Jace jumped in.

I blinked, turning to him. I'd forgotten he was there. He stepped beside me, shrugging his backpack onto his shoulder. He faced me, reaching out a hand. I blinked at his open palm for a moment before realising what he wanted.

I reached into my pocket, grabbing my bike key and planting it into his hand. He grinned, closing a fist around it, and narrowing his eyes at Piper.

"Well?" he said. "Are we going?"

Piper wordlessly nodded before turning back to the doors. She walked stiffly, a tense atmosphere settling around us. I followed her into the hallways. Fluorescent lights flooded the lockers and our footsteps echoed down the tiles.

It was empty.

Everyone was still in the auditorium watching Amber's memorial. I could hear it, if I listened closely. I didn't want to listen closely.

Instead, I focused on the sound of my shoes squeaking and I twisted my legs, trying to make them squeak louder.

Beside me, Jace watched as I wriggled my sneaker soles against the tiles. Then, his Nikes were next to mine, twisting onto the tiles and squeaking with me.

I looked up, meeting his eye and he sent me a small smile.

"What books do you need?"

I blinked, turning to realise we'd made it to my locker. Piper had entered the combination and grabbed my backpack. She waited expectantly, though my biology book was already in her hands. I had an exam next Thursday.

"Biology," I said, as if it needed to be spoken. "And English."

She nodded briskly, beginning to place the books into my bag. I soured, my lips twisting uneasily. I could do it myself. It wasn't like I was some poor, injured child who couldn't zip up a school bag on my own.

She paused halfway, her eyes moving to narrow at Jace. His eyebrows shot up before he cleared his throat awkwardly.

"I'll meet you at the parking lot," he murmured, turning to make his way towards the bike rack.

It wasn't until he was out the double doors that Piper gently closed the locker and turned to me.

"He didn't say anything stupid to you, did he?"

My eyes widened slightly, taken aback by the question. I shook my head. "No. No, Jace is... he's nice."

"Okay," she said slowly, her eyes darting between mine. "Because if he did, you could tell me. You know that, right?"

Right, so you could go tell my parents?

I huffed, scolding myself mentally.

She's just worried about you, I reminded myself.

Everyone is. It's exhausting.

"I know that," I said quickly. "Of course, I know that, Piper."

She nodded slowly, her lips twisting in thought, my bag still clutched in her white-knuckled hands.

"I just – I want to be able to be there for you, Jas."

Great. So, we were having this conversation now.

"I know."

"Sometimes I – I don't know what to say, or I guess, I don't know how to say it, and..." she trailed off, taking her bottom lip between her teeth.

I sighed, placing a hand onto her shoulder.

"Piper," I said quietly. She met my eyes and I smiled gently at her. "I understand. It's okay. Should we head to the parking lot?"

She opened her mouth, unspoken words drifting on her tongue as they have been for the past year, before her teeth clamped shut and she nodded silently. We turned together, walking down the blindingly white hallway.

Her hand rested on my arm, her fingers wrapping around me, not letting go.

When we reached the parking lot, Jace was already there, my bike leaning against him. He seemed to have gotten tanner in the sunlight, and his eyes landed on us immediately. That honey gold.

"Thanks, Jace," I said as we reached him.

He shrugged, handing me my keys and bike chain. "No worries. Hadn't ridden one of these in years."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "You didn't ride it, did you?"

He smirked at me. "No."

"Jace."

"Maybe." He laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "How could I resist?"

"It is a pretty sweet ride."

"Isn't it?"

Suddenly, Piper's elbow dug into my ribs and I turned, brows furrowed, to see her nodding towards the entry of the parking lot. A black sedan swerved in from the street and I frowned.

My mom was here.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE

Thank you for reading, commenting and voting! I hope y'all liked this chapter and the lil bonding between Jasmine and Jace! Next time: Jasmine's mom arrives. Any predictions?