When I wake up, the bed is empty. Harry isn’t in the van anymore, so I use the time to get changed all alone, putting on sweatpants and a hoodie because I hear rain pattering down on the roof of the van.

I get out of the car afterwards and spot Harry immediately, sitting on his little bucket, stirring in a pot. “You didn’t tell me you had porridge with you”, he says when I’m outside, “I love porridge.”

I smile a little because he looks so soft like that, his hair falling onto his shoulders in soft curls, wearing a thick jacket over his hoodie, a wooden spoon in his hand.

I sit down next to him, thinking about pressing a good morning kiss to his lips but I don’t do it. I’m so unsure about his boundaries and thoughts that I’d rather not risk anything.

He doesn’t kiss me either, just smiles a little, so I suppose me not doing anything has to be fine. “Where do you want to go today?”, Harry asks, putting a bit of the rather disgustingly looking mix into my bowl.

“I’m not sure. I think my original plan was to go swimming in that cool public swimming pool my parents used to take me and my sister’s too, but I suppose the weather isn’t exactly suitable for that.”

Harry chuckles lowly with a look to the sky and whines when a raindrop falls right into his eye. I can’t help but laugh, but when Harry throws me a scary look, I continue eating quickly, not laughing anymore.

That makes him chuckle a bit before he fills his bowl as well. “Maybe we could just drive a bit further into east and see if there’s any nice spots at the coast?”

I nod in agreement and then we finish eating in silence. Something about today is so weird. I’m not sure what it is, but he feels so much more distant than the days before. Maybe he’s still sad from yesterday, or maybe, he decided against whatever all of this was.

We get the car ready for continuing to drive and search for home rest area where we can shop some sweets and use the restrooms to brush our teeth and wash a little.

We talk during all of it, but he doesn’t get close. I don’t either, obviously. Maybe he doesn’t want me too and I don’t know how to find out. I suppose I could talk to him, but I really don’t know how. I don’t have a way with words and I’m waiting for him to just make the first step.

“I swear”, Harry says and points to my rather, I admit it, ugly, grey fleece jacket, “You look just like my fifty-year-old uncle.”

“Thanks for that compliment, wow.”

He laughs loudly and buckles up again, turning the key around. “No worries. You’re prettier then him”, he then quietly says and if I wasn’t so scared and unsure, I’d lean over to press a kiss to his cheek, but instead I just stare out of my window and try not to let him see that I’m blushing.

“Next stopppp”, Harry says, sounding like that person at a roller-coaster, “Somewhere at the coast.”

I smile softly, nodding. “Sounds great. It’s just raining rather badly, you realize that, don’t you?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Come on, I think you’ll survive that.”

It goes on like that for the rest of the day, us stopping at the coast every now and then to enjoy the view before continuing to drive, eating all the sweets we bought at that small shop.

It’s my turn to drive now and it’s nearly five, the rain still not having stopped. There were even a few thunders heard in the distance and my weather app predicted thunderstorm for this night. Knowing how much they scare Harry, it’s clear that we can’t stay in the van tonight.

“I don’t think there’s a campsite around here, love”, Harry says, “This looks more like a city.”

I nod slightly. “I know. It’s storming.”

“And?”

“And you hate thunderstorms. So we’ll stay at a hotel.”

Harry’s face lifts up a little when he looks over at me and he smiles. “Sure?”

I nod again. I don’t feel happy today, I want clarification. I know I can’t do this much longer; I’ll have to talk to him at some point, but I don’t know how and when and what to say.

We pull into the parking lot of the hotel a little later, stuffing a few clothes into one bag to take it inside with us.

“Hi”, I say to the lady at the reception, wiping over my face because it got wet on the way inside, “Do you still have rooms left for today?”

She types something into her computer, nodding slightly. “Two single beds, a normal double bed or the king sized one, that room's rather expensive though.”

I chew on my cheek, trying to think of something to say. What if I end up saying double, what I’d like, and he’ll hate it? What if I say single, and we’ll regret it? We slept the whole trip in one bed, but maybe he doesn’t even like it.

“Double”, Harry says from behind me.
I probably smile way too much with a too happy and relieved expression on my face when the woman nods and fills out something on her computer before handing us the key car after some time. We drive in the elevator in silence and I try to avoid looking at Harry. Maybe I made it weird by thinking about what room to take for so long.

Maybe he doesn’t even like me.
“’m gonna take a shower”, I mumble as soon as we arrive at the hotel, needing a minute for myself. Harry nods and I get my toilet bag from the bag we took with us and disappear into the bathroom.

I’m not sure what it is that makes my eyes start to burn in the shower all of the sudden, but maybe this whole trip has been more exhausting than I’d like to admit. There’s has been too many emotions. Positive ones, most of the time, but somehow, it’s overwhelming me and it’s getting harder not to cry with every minute I stay so I quickly wash my hair before heading out.

Harry gets into the shower afterwards and seeing his notebook opened on the bed, the portrait of me apparently still not finished, makes me start crying this time.

After I was able to finally stop those stupid tears, I try to distract myself by texting mum for a little who’s already excited to see me again. Harry comes out of the shower a few minutes later, dropping down on the bed next to me.

He smiles over at me and I try to being myself to smile back, but apparently, I fail.

“Did you cry?”, Harry asks, his face softening.

I quickly shake my head, staring into my lap, blinking rapidly a few times because I usually don’t act this stupid.

“Come on, Lou, this is ridiculous. You’ve been acting all weird the whole day. This is one of our last evenings and we finally have a nice, big bed and a cosy room so can we maybe not make this awkward? I’m sorry if this is about yesterday and if I made it weird, you can just tell me.”

“Huh?”, I make, raising an eyebrow and looking at him confused.

“Yeah. I’m sorry if I opened up too much. I get that you don’t want anything from me and I’m sorry if I made it seem like, I don’t know, like I expect you to like me back.”

I blink slowly a few times, trying to comprehend the fact that he just admitted on liking me and scratch the back of my neck while trying to come up with something to say.

“You like me? And why the fuck what you tell me that only now?”

“Because I knew I’d be getting a reaction like that. I know you think shit of relationships and that you‘d say no to marrying me after having spent a day with me, all that. I know, you told me. So I’m sorry that somehow I ended up catching feelings for you because it was certainly not part of the plan.”

I did say that. I still remember very vividly. We were talking about reality TV and I think I even made a gagging sound when he said something about fate and love on first sight. I also remember telling him how absolutely annoying he is several times.

“Can we maybe still spend a few nice last days together. This doesn’t have to be awkward. We can stay friends, Louis. Please?”

“Can you maybe shut up for a second and think about what bullshit you are talking about. Why in the world would I have kissed you, why do I think I want you to stay with me on this trip, why do you think I smile all the time when I’m around you? Do you really think I want this to be friendly?”, I rattle down, trying to catch my breath afterwards.

“Of course, you’d say it like this.”

“What?”, I ask, rolling my eyes.

“Of course you can only confirm your feelings while insulting me and giving me backhanded compliments. You really are the most unromantic person on earth, God”, he says, smiling just a little, grabbing my neck and pulling me in for a kiss.

I’m a little taken by surprise, but I kiss him back anyways, wondering if he can feel that I’m smiling like crazy under his lips, my hand resting on his lower tummy as I pull away slightly.

“Could you not just have told me?”, Harry asks, rolling his eyes with a smile.

“Guess I’m a wimp. I really wanted to, okay? But then I got scared. I do not like anyone. Louis Tomlinson does not get into relationships. That’s a rule. You can’t just show up and break them all.”

He smiles a little and traces his finger along my cheek carefully, smiling. “But I did.”

“Fucker.”

He laughs again and leans forward to peck my lips once. There’s a loud thunder erupting right over us and Harry winces at the sound, nearly knocking his elbow into my ribs.

“Okay, chill out”, I say, “We’re inside now. Nothing’s gonna happen.”

He nods, pulling me in so my head is laying on his chest, playing with my hair carefully, nearly staying still the next time it thunders.

I feel his tummy rummaging under my hand and laugh quietly, sitting up. “We didn’t have dinner yet.”

Harry nods. “Is there a restaurant somewhere?”

“Or we just order some room service. You think they’re fancy enough for that here?”
I shrug. “They do have suits with king sized beds here, so maybe.”

He leans over to grab a flyer from the nightstand, opening it. There’s some general information and a wifi password inside, but a little bit further there’s a small menu and the number to call for room service.

“Chips?”, Harry asks, “Or do you take the burger too, even though you don’t like it as much?’

I roll my eyes and smile softly because something about him makes me never want to be sad again

“Sure. I’ll take the usual chips and the halloumi ones. Just for you, babe.”

He blushes a little and quickly presses his lips to mine. “I don’t have anything against you telling me that without being ironic.”

I wrap my arm around his waist, letting my head rest against the pillow as he dials the number and calls the room service. I wait impatiently until he finally ordered, kissing his cheek and his dimple every now and then what makes him blush. He tries to stop me with trying to slam his knee into my leg sideways.
Instead, I carefully poke my finger into his dimple and trace along his hairline and jaw until he finally hangs up. Instead of being as cute as I was, he takes his pillow and slams it right onto my head.

“Arse”, I mutter and try shoving him off the bed.

“Yourself.” He straddles me, tickling my tummy what makes me squeal very embarrassingly and I try to kick my legs but he’s way stronger than me, sadly.

“Shut up and kiss me you fool”, I say between trying to catch my breath.

He smiles softly, fixing my hair and leans down to kiss me. It feels so good, having him close. It makes my skin tickle and my tummy flutters and my whole body fill up with want, wanting him closer, so close, wanting him with me, forever. Wanting him to be mine. We probably kiss for way too long, because when it knocks on the door, Harry's lips are still on mine, his hands still in my hair.

“Room service”, the voice calls and knocks again.

Harry clears his throat and grins at me before climbing off of me, sitting down next to me, trying to fix his hair a little. “Come in.”

A lady enters and drives the trolley with the tray on top into our room, stopping next to the bed and saying goodbye with a small smile.

“Thank you”, we both call and as soon as she’s outside, Harry breaks into a small giggle. “What’s so funny?”, I ask, grabbing the tray and placing it between us, smiling softly because I like seeing him like this.

“I don’t know. ‘m just happy.”

“Me too”, I mumble, stuffing a chip into my mouth so I don’t accidentally tell him too many words of affection on one evening.

Harry snaps a chip out or my hand and stuffs it into his mouth quickly, grinning cheekily what makes me smile a little more than I already did. I take a sip from his stupid milkshake instead, even though I hate milkshakes, but I needed to pay him back.

“Still think I’m the milkshake type?”, Harry asks, taking a bite from his burger afterwards.

I nod. “Yeah. I’d describe the milkshake type differently now, though.”

“How?”

“I think I’d say he owns a journal and he draws in it all the time. It looks pretty adorable when he frowns when concentrating and he’s extremely talented, too. He has annoyingly long hair that tickles my face when we kiss, but it’s very fluffy and soft and I love brushing through it. He also puts his feet on the headboard the whole time because he apparently doesn’t care about my stuff at all, what gets also noticeable when he eats gummy bears that I bought. I think the milkshake type guy always cries when watching rom coms. He’s weirdly romantic what sucks because he believes in love at first sight and stupid stuff like that, but it’s very pretty when he smiles and laughs. It makes me bubble with happiness. He makes me happy in general.”

Harry blushes a little and takes another sip from his milkshake, smiling broadly. “See. You can be cute if you want to.”

I chuckle and lean over to peck his cheek twice. “You make me happy too”, he mumbles, taking another bite from his burger.

I climb over the tray and push it to the side, hugging him properly while I’m kissing him slowly this time. He gives me so much comfort, it’s the only time I don’t free stressed or annoyed at all when he’s there.

He’s stroking over my back carefully and we forget about the left-over quarter of the food for a while, when staying in bed, cuddling, staying close.

We must’ve fallen asleep like that, because when we wake up again a few hours later, the nightstand lamp is still on, the food is cold and the storm is really bad by now.

“I don’t like this”, Harry whispers, looking over at the closed curtains as if he could make the storm stop through them.

“Relax, baby. Should we finish our food? Some midnight snack or something?”

He blushes and nods quickly, placing the tray between us again. We finish it in silence and I hold Harry’s hand so he can press it every time it thunders loudly again.

When we’re done, we get the tray off of the bed and eat some gummy bears while cuddling. It’s late and I’m very tired, but this feels better than sleeping right now.

“Louis?”, Harry asks after some time and presses his thumb into my shoulder a little while pulling me closer.

I hum, looking up at him with a small smile.

“Am I understanding it right when I’m saying that we want this to lead somewhere?”

“Huh?”, I make and take the last two gummy bears out of the bag, stuffing one into my mouth and feeding him the other one.

“I mean. If this works out and stuff, we’ll date and become boyfriends one day?”

“Oh, you gotta plan your little romance, huh?” He chuckles lowly and rolls his eyes but nods afterwards.

“Yeah. We can do that. But be aware that I have no idea or how a relationship works so you will need to do the asking out and stuff. I’ll say yes, no worries, but I don’t know when to start what.”

He laughs quietly and kisses the top of my head before nodding slightly. “Got it.”

The storm moved a bit further by now and the thunders got more quiet, so we turn of the light, hugging each other tightly before drifting of to sleep again, enjoying each other’s regular breathing.

~~~

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