A/N This is the first Jimin POV in 20 chapters... and it's the last chapter. I'm so heartbroken and I wrote the story.

Guess what: it's my birthday. I wanted to finish this story on my birthday since I thought that'd be fitting. Happy Army Day and happy birthday to me. My biggest flex is that BTS wishes me a happy birthday and my bday is marked on official BTS merch lmao cry about it <3

I'm requesting you read the end note before leaving your comments about the ending.

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The Islands were beautiful.

Jimin grinned as he sauntered down the gravel path leading to the villa Jungkook had told him about. There was more color here than anywhere else. He made sure to buy as much as he could from the marketplaces. The bag on his back was filled with snacks he had never heard of. Although he wanted to gobble them all up, he made a mental note to save at least a little for Ash and Jihyun to split.

The elegant villa before him belonged to none other than Y/n L/n, his ex-girlfriend. Or ex-fiancée. His memories were almost clear, but some of them were blurry or walked a thin line between reality and a dream. He thought Y/n being his fiancée was a dream. Perhaps he'd ask her if she let him in.

Shadow was out front. She neighed and went to him, and he laughed as she licked his face. He rubbed the side of her head and cherished the feeling of her coat.

"Hey girl," he murmured, kissing the top of her head and scratching behind her ears. "I'm gonna go say hi to your mom, okay?"

Shadow backed away and allowed him to move. He stepped up and pressed the doorbell. He pulled on the strap of his bag and prayed she would answer. It took a minute, but she did, and his eyes jolted upon seeing her.

She had cut her hair, just like he did. She had the same frame, only she was wearing better clothes than he had ever seen her in. It was hot here, so she was wearing a floral romper. Much to his amazement, she wasn't hiding her stump. There were no bandages. He could see the marred flesh, and it made him sick knowing he caused that.

"I," Y/n started, holding the door tightly. "Am way too sober for this. Goodbye."

Right when she went to close the door, he placed his four-fingered hand on it. "Please, five minutes of your time."

"Jimin, you don't understand."

"Oh please," he said, opening the door. With or without her second hand, he'd overpower her any day. "If anyone understands, it's me. You know that. I know what it feels like to see someone and be reminded of all the shit they put you through. You think I don't have PTSD too? You think I don't wake up in cold sweats every other night?"

"That's not what I meant. You don't understand what it's like to have that happen from an old lover. It's different."

"And yet, here I am," he said as he shut the door behind him. "Let's talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I came all this way to visit you. Please give me five minutes."

"Is Jihyun here? Kastor? Ash?"

"Only me," he replied. He motioned to the kitchen table. "Come on. Please?"

She hesitated, but eventually agreed. She brought him to the table and got him a glass of an alcohol he didn't recognize the scent or flavor of. It tasted like lemonade. In a way, it reminded him of his childhood, when his mother used to squeeze fresh lemons to make him a fun drink.

He took a few sips and focused on Y/n. This time, she covered her stump with her other hand and hid her skin from him. It made him frown, but he couldn't say he blamed her.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said.

"I know. But it doesn't change what I see whatever I look at you."

"And what do you see?"

"The person who took off my hand, ran off with the Emperor, and cursed the entire rebellion out," she replied. Her tone was blank and lacked the love she had once given him.

"Y/n," he said, softer than before. "I came to see you because I thought I gave you enough time and space."

"Has time gotten rid of your trauma?" she asked. He stayed silent. "Then why did you think it'd get rid of mine?"

"I've always wanted to visit the Islands, but I didn't out of fear I'd run into you and cause more harm. I didn't mean to intrude."

"Jimin, we're done. I moved on, why are you trying to bring back memories I'm trying to bury? I can't keep having nightmares like this-"

"I love you," he interrupted, and she shut her mouth at that. He tapped his stub against the table. "I'm terrified, Y/n. I'm scared I'll love you forever, but I'll never see you again."

She had tears in her eyes. "Why are you here now?"

"I needed time in therapy, you needed time away. This seemed like the best time."

"No, Jimin. I mean why are you here?" she asked, and he held his breath for a beat too long.

"I want to marry you."

"We're different people now."

"No we're not, don't say that."

"You healed without me," she said, and he leaned back and shook his head.

"You've got it all wrong: I healed because of you. You have it in your head that no one needs you, but that's not true. Kastor needs you, Taehyung needs you, Jungkook needs you." He paused and met her eyes. "I need you."

She stayed quiet for a beat. "I know, but I need myself too. Jimin, I've spent almost three decades of my life in a war. I'm sorry I want a few years to discover what life is like without it. Maybe in a couple years I'll move back to the mainland and become part of the government, but that's not what I'm meant for right now. For the first time, I like living. I like being alive. It doesn't feel like a constant miserable battle just to get out of bed in the morning. I'm happy here."

"And I'm happy for you," he replied. "I don't want to intrude on your happiness. I just..."

"You know we can't work. You know we remind each other of the worst parts of our lives."

"One week," he said, and she stiffened at that. "Give me one week here. You haven't seen me in two years, please give me a week to show you how much I changed. Not a relationship, just a chance for me to show you who I am now."

"How many sex jokes are you gonna make?"

He chuckled. "Don't tempt me, I can start right now."

She cracked a soft smile at that, but he could see the ache inside her irises. It broke his heart. After all these years, his mind remained on her. She had dominated his thoughts and created a storm inside his body. It caused ache to shoot up and down his veins every time he thought of them being apart.

"Can I see your stump?" he asked. When she seemed like she was about to get defensive, he pulled down his collar. "I got this fighting a Bassa last month. I'll show you everything, I promise."

"Just like the old days when we kissed each other's scars after sex?"

"Exactly. No sex this time though."

She snickered. It sounded painful. Then, she placed her stump on the table for him to see. He didn't want to overstep by touching it. Instead, he observed every deformity. It shattered his soul to know he was the one who had caused it.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm so sorry."

"You know I don't blame you, but it doesn't change the memories."

"I know. I'm sorry for that too."

"Don't," she whispered with a shaky breath. "Don't apologize, you've done that enough in your life. Let's stop talking about me. What about you? What have you been up to?"

"I'm Jungkook's babysitter. He's been up my ass ever since I've been cleared for active duty. He won't let go of me. Hell, he barely let me come out here."

"Why?"

"You know damn well it's because he feels guilty for how he treated me before. I keep trying to tell him it's been years, but he won't listen," Jimin said with a grunt. "But we don't need to talk about the past. Kastor adopted Jihyun and me last year. I adopted Ash a few months ago."

"How's he holding up after Shawman?"

"He's handling it better than I expected. He's a bit like Jihyun: a little too young to understand the concept of death. He thinks I'm his new dad. He even calls me it."

"And are you okay with that?"

Jimin smiled until it crinkled his eyes. "He's my boy, Y/n. I love him."

And it was the truth. Although his memories had their ups and downs, he had always loved Ash. He had always loved all his friends, even Yoongi, who had helped nurse Jimin back to health when he was crowned Jungkook's babysitter. Thanks to Yoongi, Jimin had healed much faster.

She didn't reply to that, and he knew it was about to get awkward. However, he didn't let it. He knew their relationship wasn't quite in joking territory yet, but when did that ever stop him?

"I love him so much I kinda want another. Care to help me with that?" he joked, and she stared at him. Right when he thought he fucked up, she scrunched her nose, and the laughter that followed blessed his ears in an addicting harmony.

"Okay, maybe you have changed a little."

"I make fun of Jungkook all the time. That should count for something."

"You're making fun of him, not making out with him? What's wrong with you? You need to go back to therapy."

"I'll have you know I go to therapy once a week," he said as he pointed his tiny index finger at her. "And most of those sessions are about Jungkook rejecting me. Can you believe he isn't into me?"

"That must be so hard on you."

"Oh you have no idea."

It wasn't as awkward as he was expecting. She was perceptive to his jokes, and she seemed more open-minded than he had remembered. When they had first met, she was brash and often made rash decisions. Although her almost slamming the door in his face was a testament to the old Y/n, the way she was listening to him sprinkled on evidence that she was new. She was changing.

They both were.

"Why don't you show me what you do for work? Jungkook told me you run a Leeka farm now. I saw Shadow out front, but what about the rest?" he asked, and she agreed. She stood, and he watched as she got her shoes on and prepared to show him her life. Her life without him, where she was happy and living peacefully like she had always wanted. Even though it was the beginning of the week, he frowned.

Maybe they weren't meant to be.

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He could hear the screaming.

In the three days he had been there thus far, every night was like this. He heard her nightmares and her screams. They were the nightmares she claimed were getting better. The last two times, he hadn't intruded on her due to not wanting to scare her. Tonight, he couldn't take it anymore.

Jimin ran to her bedroom as adrenaline kissed his veins. Y/n snapped awake as soon as he entered, her hand covering her face as her stump wandered through the air with no clear direction.

On instinct, he got in bed with her and shushed her soft cries, but she only seemed more disturbed by his presence. She whined as he attempted to wipe her tears away.

"Honey," he murmured, holding her close to him. "It's okay, I'm right here. It was just a nightmare, I'm right here. You're safe."

She pried his hands off her and cowered away. Upon seeing her eyes, his heart slowed and his skin felt the need to shrivel inside itself. She was peering at him with more fear than he had ever seen in his life. Her irises were darting around, and her hand was reaching for the knife on her nightstand.

"Y/n, it's me," he whispered, holding his hands up as if that would show he was no threat. "It's just me."

Her lower lip quivered, but after a beat, she moved her hand away from the knife and cried. He cautiously came closer and wrapped an arm around her. She didn't push him this time.

Jimin held her while she sobbed. Every emotion she had poured out on his tunic and infected his flesh with moisture. It took half an hour for her to calm herself and become silent. She curled up on his chest and clutched the fabric there, and he replied by stroking her hair and twirling the strands.

"You're always safe with me," he mumbled. He refrained from kissing the top of her head. "I'm here now. It's me, I promise."

"Which version of you is it?"

The question hit his lungs and made them sink in his body. He raised his shuddering hand and rubbed it through her hair again and again as if that would distract her. He knew who he was. Park Jimin was a higher-up in the rebellion who had helped save New Theon. After the Emperor had taken him, he became brainwashed. He became a different person. Therapy helped and changed him back to a real man, not a puppet. But none of that took away the trauma he had endured. It didn't take away what she had endured, either.

"Commander Park is dead," he said in a soft tone. "I killed him. Only Park Jimin remains."

"I thought the same thing once."

She pressed her stump against his stomach as she came closer and buried her head against him. The intimacy both broke him and gave him warmth he didn't know he needed.

He cleared his throat. "Last week, I took Ash to the first park in New Theon. Taehyung pushed for more things for kids to do, and Jungkook approved of the reconstruction of Thermus Boulevard. The park is the first structure there, and Ash loved it. He got a few splinters and bruises, but he just said 'that was wicked' and moved on."

She peeked up, and he fell into those gorgeous irises he had always loved. "Why are you telling me that?"

"You always loved my stories," he said as he placed his four-fingered hand on her cheek.

She hesitated, then pressed her head against his neck. "What about Jihyun?"

"I've taken him and Ash all over New Theon. Kastor led the journey. Something about not letting his boys go alone. We visited the outskirts, Flerry, the City... everywhere. We even went to the Rocklands. The safe part, anyway. Just near the bridge."

"Did you like it?"

"I loved it. There wasn't much nature, but it was new. It was free," he said, keeping his hand tangled in her hair.

She sighed. "Why'd you change your hair?"

"I've always liked fashion and changing up my style. I didn't get to do it during my teenage years, so I'm doing it now. Maybe I really am a rebellious teen."

"It looks good on you. I bet you'd look great with pink hair too."

He laughed. "Whatever you say, honey."

They fell asleep in each other's arms after that. He stroked her hair until she passed out, and he found darkness with her. When he awoke on the fourth day he had been in her villa, he found she was already out of bed. He scoured the home only to find her in the kitchen making breakfast for them. She prepared two portions of a meat he didn't recognize served with greens that looked like they came from the meadows outside.

"You're awake," she said as he approached. "I wasn't sure you'd make it through the night, you're not exactly known for sleeping well."

"Ironic coming from you."

"You're hilarious."

He came up behind her and hugged her, kissing her shoulder. She didn't stiffen or tell him to stop. Truthfully, he didn't think before he acted. It was instinct to hold her. Seeing her like this reminded him of their mornings at their home in Moros. All that was missing was the-

"Coffee?" she asked, pointing to the machine in the corner.

"I haven't had coffee in years," he said with a groan, and she took that as a yes.

Although he much preferred alcohol, the taste of bitter coffee helped in a way he hadn't expected. It made his memories clear. It was almost like he could live in his imagination due to how vivid it was.

"Activate," she said, and the holograms came to life, showing off how much she stalked Jungkook. When Jimin saw all the newsfeeds open, she stuttered over her words and rushed to switch the feeds. "He's my best friend."

"You weren't looking for news about me, were you?"

"Believe it or not, not everyone is obsessed with you."

"Are you kidding? I have a massive fanbase of women and men alike throwing themselves at me. It only got worse when I changed my beautiful hair," he said as he ran a hand through it.

She snorted and went back to making their meal. She placed both plates on the table, and he cleaned up to take the weight off her shoulders. If she cooked, he would clean. At least, that seemed the most logical to him. When he turned and saw her staring at him, he realized that one thing hadn't changed: his social skills needed work. He couldn't pick up on social cues even after all this time.

"Why would you do that?" she asked.

"Uh, you cooked. Why wouldn't I?"

"No I just... you used to do that-"

"In Moros? I know. I told you, I'm not as unfamiliar as you think," he said.

She didn't open her mouth to agree or disagree. A minute passed of Y/n getting a drink for herself. As soon as she set it down on the table, he came over. The food was an afterthought as he hovered his hand by hers.

"Can I hold you?" he asked in a mutter. She didn't answer for a long moment. He thought she was going to ignore his request, but then, her lips moved.

"Okay."

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Recommended song to have on loop: Jacob and the Stone by Emile Mosseri

The week was over.

Y/n munched on her breakfast with a soft smile on her face. The holograms were playing the news, most of which covering Jungkook's recent changes to the funding of New Theon. More of it was going back to the people. He focused on building schools and sponsoring authors who were willing to write unbiased, educational books about the essentials of history, math, language, and more.

Jimin leaned against the wall and watched the bliss inside her eyes. She had gone from miserable to joyous, and watching her progress healed his heart. She brought him comfort that he hadn't received since his mother stopped singing to him. It felt as though birds were flying in the wind and carrying his soul from cloud to cloud.

But not every bird could fly.

"You didn't have a nightmare yesterday," he said while she finished her meal. She grinned and bounced up. She had a spring in her step as she went to the sink to rinse off her plate. The holograms turned off after she snapped her fingers. Her focus shifted to him.

"I haven't had any episodes like that in a while. I'm glad they're gone now."

He knew why she hadn't had any. And deep down, he was sure she knew too. "It's been a week."

She froze. Water dribbled off the plate and into the sink, coating her hand.

"Oh," she said. "Has it?"

"My private ship is waiting for me back at the port."

"But you don't... have to go, do you?"

He pressed his head against the wall and closed his eyes. "No, I guess I could cancel." He paused and met her gaze. He could see the tears hiding there. "You know, I think there's another world where we're sitting across from each other and planning a wedding. Maybe in another world, I'm fourteen and looking out the window of my mother's house with my brother next to me. Maybe in another world, the Emperor never got me, and you and I were free."

"Jimin..."

He stepped closer and took her hand, kissing the back of it. He took a long moment before continuing. "But that isn't this world. It can't be. I think I have to go."

"Why?" she asked in a croak.

"It's not fair to you. You've been through war, poverty, famine, and so much worse, yet somehow, loving me is the hardest thing you've ever had to do."

"That's not true," she said, but it sounded weak coming from her lips.

He released her and backed away. It felt identical to when he left her the first time, back when the Emperor had captured him.

"The best thing I can do for you is to never know you exist."

"Jimin," she pleaded, but her eyes were lost. Like she didn't know what she was pleading for.

"I'm not just doing it for you," he said, hoping his voice was strong enough not to crack. It wasn't. "My whole recovery was fixated around you. I draw you every time I sit down, I write you whenever my therapist tells me to use my diary, I think of you every time I open my eyes. I was born in a burning home and thought the entirety of New Theon was on fire. But that's not true. It's time I learned what it's like to breathe real air not infected by the flames of my past. But I can't do that if I'm clinging to you."

She dropped her gaze to the floor, and silence carried on after that. He didn't know what to add to the conversation to soften the blow. He didn't know if he was softening it for him or her.

"You'll be okay. You'll move on and forget me," Jimin said, and she picked her head up at that.

"Maybe," she replied with a bitter smile. "I feel like I want to move on and forget you, but there's a small part of me that holds onto how happy you made me at one point."

She waited for him to reply, but he couldn't. There were memories creeping up the back of his skull. Memories that screamed at him, begging him to stay. To hold her. To kiss her. But that was yet another world he wasn't in, and never would be.

"Jimin?" she said, and he nodded as tears dripped down his face. "You were never unloved. There was never a day in your life where you were unloved."

He rubbed his lips together. The tears kept coming. Both of them were on the verge of breakdowns, but he held it back for her sake, even as she came closer and brushed her hand past his. They didn't quite touch, but it was enough.

"Y/n, you are the dawn that guides me, and I will always carry your light. This war has taken so much from us, but it also brought me my greatest gift: you," he said as his voice trembled over itself. "And I love you. Until the last star burns out."

She nodded once. Twice. "I love-"

"No," he interrupted. "Don't say that. Don't make this even harder than it already is. It's time you didn't feel that way toward me anymore."

Her face was covered with moisture as she met his gaze. "Why?"

A sad smile graced his face. His eyes smiled with him. "Because it's time for you to move on. Not forget, you can never forget, but you need to move on."

She accepted his words through her muffled whines and sniffs. She backed away and watched him go to the door, picking up his bag on the way there. It took all his strength to open it. Morning dew covered the glistening grass as the sun illuminated him.

"Let's say you forgot something," she said before he could go. He stopped and turned in time to see her approaching. She was cautious. Light. Gentle. "Let's say you left your glove here, and you have to come back for it at some point. Maybe a year from now, or five, or ten. But you have to come back. At least once."

His lower lip quivered as he closed the gap. He kissed her forehead for much longer than he should have. The greedy seconds ticked by in his brain. The clock dinged and signaled their end.

Jimin pulled away and met her eyes. "No matter what happens, I'll be okay."

"Why?" she asked in a mutter, their breath dancing together in the small space between them.

He smiled. It felt like the first genuine one he had done in years. "Because I promised you I would be."

She couldn't stifle her sob that time. "Goodbye, Park Jimin."

Jimin backed away. His hand clung to her arm, tracing down it as he went. He felt every crevice on her skin and burned it into his brain. He painted the picture of her teary face in his mind, and he prepared himself to forget it. It was the beginning of an era. An era where Jimin would hold his son's hand as they explored every cell of themselves. An era where Jimin would heal, and find a place without any stench of the Emperor. Perhaps he would move to the outskirts and begin a new life. Perhaps the memories of Hoseok, Jin, and Shawman would dance with him, long into the night. But none of that could happen without leaving the past behind.

Jimin widened the gap between them until he was away from the porch and standing on the gravel. Their eyes locked despite the distance. She was already fading away, her dust flying around his left hand and brushing by his stub. It tickled him and gave him an image of what could have been, but his finger could not grow back. And neither could they.

"Goodbye, Y/n L/n."

THE END

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓒𝓻𝓪𝔃𝔂 ˚｡➶˚┊

A/N: Future Raven here. I know some may be upset by this ending, but I hope you understand why it needed to happen, and even if you don't personally like it (which is fine, I understand the desire to see Jimin and Y/n together), I hope you can at least accept that it is the ending the characters needed. There's a difference between personally disliking an ending but respecting/understanding it, and personally disliking an ending and hating it.

Please don't send any hate my way all over a fictional ship in a fictional story. Especially when literally everything else about this ending is happy: Everyone is at peace, even Jimin and Y/n despite how they are not together anymore. I'm not tolerating hate. If you disliked or even hated the ending, just keep it to yourself.

I may be a writer, but I think it's easy to forget I'm a reader too. Everything you felt while reading this, I felt it too, probably 20x more. 

Trust me: I love Jimin and Y/n's relationship more than you do. I wrote them for hundreds upon hundreds of hours, and I'm not exaggerating. This wasn't easy for me either.

I spent months crafting this ending, but even though it was planned before I wrote one word for chapter one, I almost went back on my decision until I realized I couldn't. What I wanted (Jimin and Y/n being a couple) wasn't best for the story and who they are as individuals. So while I understand being upset they aren't together, that's not a reason to send me hate or to comment your disdain for what ultimately is the ending that makes the most sense for these two.

Most people haven't had a problem with this. Before I even posted this chapter, there were readers hoping for Jimin and Y/n to not end up together so they could heal; however, I have received some hate over Jimin and Y/n not being together, and that is unacceptable. I am a human writing these worlds for you to enjoy for free. I'm sorry if I sound entitled, but I wrote this story with so much love and passion. All I'm asking in return is for your respect for my time and effort.

I will be writing more enemies to lovers like this in the future. I'm planning to write a very toxic (significantly more toxic than this) incubus Jimin x Y/n story. It's going to be pretty dark, and the relationship will be far darker than this one. This was my first attempt at a darker relationship, and I've learned a lot, so I hope my next one will be fun to read!

Thank you to everyone who has been respectful of me. Please remember I'm just one human writing these stories for you in my limited free time. I write these because I want you guys to feel something and hopefully get some smiles and laughs. I hope, regardless of if you like the ending or not, you at least took something away from this fic and had some smiles.

Anyway, that's the end of future Raven's end note. Here's the original one I posted when the chapter first came out:

Jimin's first and last promise to her was that he'd be okay 💔💔💔

I really don't know what to say. My world is spinning, my mind is blurred, and my fingers are numb from all the work I did to make this chapter possible.

This story has dominated my life for a long time, and to see it go feels like I am releasing my child into the wilderness, never to see them again. Very few works of mine achieve the 'Classics' status. In fact, only 3 works have achieved it, including this one. Adrift, Heartless, and now, Like Crazy.

I have countless fanfictions I have released, but so few touch me like this one did. The Jimin in this story was one of my favorites I've ever written, if not my favorite. His only competition is Adrift Jimin, but even Adrift Jimin evades my memory as I wrote him over two years ago now. Y/n and Jimin's dynamic is my favorite I've ever written, and ending it on such a sad note hurts my heart, but it was necessary.

The entire theme of the story was moving on from the past and not letting it dominate you, even if it means letting go. Part of moving on from the past is accepting it and being open to seeing it again in a different light, hence why Y/n said, "Let's say you left your glove here, and you have to come back for it at some point. Maybe a year from now, or five, or ten. But you have to come back. At least once."

This story was so carefully crafted to have the theme of moving on be hidden behind an action-packed plot centered around Jimin and Y/n. From the beginning phases where Jimin was only Park, to the later phases where he was brainwashed, this story has been my favorite thing. It has been my guiding light through the darkness.

I genuinely don't know what to do without it.

Marking it as complete makes me feel so empty, yet so relieved that more projects I have been dying to do can now come to light. I guess that's part of moving on, isn't it? I could never begin the new without finishing the old.

Although this is one of my few bittersweet endings, I hope you enjoyed it. I cried a little while writing it, although I do not know if that is because of the specific ending scene or because Like Crazy is ending. It's hard to know.

The Cop From Busan will be out soon. Thank you all for your constant support. I received thousands of comments on this story (I am not exaggerating), primarily from Wattpad. I cannot thank you enough for the thousands of reads and comments I have received, and thank you to those who have wished me a happy birthday.

Goodbye, Like Crazy

COMPLETED: July 9th, 2023 - 5:48 p.m.