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I Find Myself In You

A/N: As many of you know, I've been submitting to contests. I doubt I'll win anything, but I enjoy the process and meeting new authors. I was thinking: maybe I should try hosting one? What do you guys think? Should I start hosting contests?

˚➶ 。˚𝓘 𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓜𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓘𝓷 𝓨𝓸𝓾 ˚。➶˚

Jungkook buried his head in his hands.

"Get the fuck off me!" Jimin shouted, but the binds on his hand prevented him from doing any damage. "Fuck you! I'll make sure the Emperor slaughters every last one of you pieces of shit!"

Jungkook glanced up and saw Y/n in the corner of the room, trembling while a coat covered her body, including her stump. Tears stained her face and made her eyes puffy. She hadn't so much as glanced at Jimin ever since they got him to the infirmary in the castle, where the therapists from Topside were investigating him.

On the bright side, the therapists had access to the castle's tech and were able to get more insights to what was going on in Jimin's brain. The doctors had ran blood tests and tested his physical ability. They treated his heel, but they were more concerned about his mental state.

Jimin pulled on the cuffs restraining him to the bed. They made it more comfortable for him, adding extra pillows and giving him all white clothes that were loose. The stones making up the wall were cool, and there was even a window to make Jimin feel more at peace. Nothing worked. Jimin lashed out at every attempt to fix him.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Jimin yelled, straining to get away from the therapists trying to look in his eyes. He shut them and tilted his head away, his body writhing around. "Fuck you!"

He repeated several curses over and over again, not caring that the therapists were trying to help. The odds were, Jimin didn't realize this was what help looked like. Tests and talking. Trying to get to the bottom of the issue.

Y/n left the room as the commotion continued. The therapists didn't acknowledge that she had left. Jungkook wanted to go after her, but he hesitated. What she was going through was unimaginable. As much as Jungkook was fond of Jimin, Y/n was Jimin's lover. They were going to get married. Now, the memories she had of him were nightmares. He wondered if she'd ever be able to trust Jimin again.

Jungkook left the room not long after her. He couldn't handle seeing Jimin in that much pain. Even from outside, he could hear the screams and curses. Y/n was nowhere in sight. Jungkook went down the stone halls and found Shawman and Ash heading to Jihyun's room. Although Jihyun had been spending time outside the castle, he was staying in his room, claiming he didn't want to go outside much without his big brother. The entire time he had been there, he kept muttering about going to the Islands. Jungkook didn't know how to break the news to the poor kid.

"Are you showing Ash...?" Jungkook asked from behind them.

"No, I'm going in alone to check on him. After, I'm taking Ash outside to play. It's been a while since he's had new land to play on," Shawman said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

However, just as they approached Jihyun's door, it opened, revealing Jimin's little brother. Jungkook halted and staggered back. Jihyun was identical to Jimin. Almost identical. He was younger and had less scars, but he had the same face shape and similar hair. Neither of them had cut their hair in ages. They were around the same height and weight, too. It was as if Jungkook was staring at Park Jimin while the impostor in the other room was Commander Park.

"Uncle Min!" Ash shouted, clinging onto Jihyun's waist.

Jihyun giggled. "I'm an uncle?"

"Ash, do you remember Uncle Min telling you about his brother?" Shawman asked, and the kid nodded. "That's his little brother, Jihyun."

"You look just like Uncle Min!" Ash said with a gasp.

"I get that a lot."

Jihyun and Ash laughed together. Seeing them together broke Jungkook. It wasn't Jihyun's fault. He couldn't control what he looked like. Still, Jungkook ached from the way a younger version of Jimin hung out with Ash. It was as if Jungkook was seeing the old Jimin in front of him, smiling with the children at Mount Moros and showing them Shadow.

"I wanted to check on you. Do you understand what happened to Jimin?" Shawman asked.

Jihyun frowned. "Not really. Something about his mind?"

"He isn't in a good spot right now. The Emperor did something bad to him."

Jihyun sighed. "Why doesn't anyone tell me the truth? They've all said he's hurt, but never how."

"Well-"

"I'm not the innocent kid Jimin described me as," Jihyun said, and they went quiet at that. "I know he's been tortured by the Emperor. I know how terrible New Theon is and I know Jimin didn't leave me, but he joined the rebellion. Whoever he told you I am, I'm not. It's just... he's always protected us, ever since we were little. He took the world's biggest bullet for me by agreeing to the Emperor's terms. I guess I wanted to return the favor by pretending to be innocent to it all. The last thing he needed was a depressed little brother. That'd only drag him down. He needed hope. I... I wanted to give that to him."

"You have," Jungkook replied in a breathy whisper. "He always talked about you. He told us about how you hated the castle, and the time he was going to fight a Bassa and you wanted to come with. Jimin loves you more than anything. The Emperor brainwashed him into thinking the rebellion is terrible and Y/n isn't his lover but another woman he had to sleep with to keep the peace."

"So Jimin isn't Jimin."

"That's right."

Jihyun frowned. "Can I see him?"

"No, not yet," Shawman said. "We want to calm him down first. We want to get you in there as soon as possible so he knows you're alive, but not while he's unstable. If he hurts you..."

"Don't worry, he won't," Jihyun replied. "I know it's not him. Anything he does won't hurt me."

A beat of silence passed. Jungkook didn't know what to say to fill the void. There were a million phrases lingering in his mind. Millions of words and sentences that could bridge the gap between them and Jihyun, the brother of Park Jimin. The entire point of Jimin's quest was to save Jihyun, but he wasn't here to see it.

"Has anyone seen where Y/n went?" Jungkook asked.

"Outside," Shawman replied.

Jungkook left the three behind to instead exit the castle. Outside, Y/n was with Shadow, feeding her apples instead of alcohol. Kastor was there too, petting the Leeka. The glowing red eyes of Shadow stared at Jungkook, and she neighed to alert the others to Jungkook's presence.

"You should be repairing New Theon. There's much to do," Y/n said without glancing at him.

"Any obligations I have can wait. I know you don't want to talk about it-"

"Exactly. Let's not talk about it."

"But Y/n," Jungkook continued. He came closer and gripped Shadow's reins. "Running away from your problems isn't going to solve them."

"What problems?"

"You and Jimin..."

"Aren't together anymore," Y/n said. "Whoever Jimin is now doesn't matter to me. It's time he finds peace. And it's time I find mine. I'll stay on the mainland until New Theon is healthy and the Emperor is found. Otherwise, I don't see any point in staying in the castle where he..."

Y/n broke off, and Jungkook understood why. She didn't have anything left. Her lover had been broken again and again, and because of that, she had been broken too. Although she didn't blame Jimin for what he was going through, she had every right to walk away from it. Jungkook would too. Having one thumb and no other fingers clued him in to how horrible it was to deal with losing limbs. But he had a thumb. Y/n didn't.

"I'm going to take Shadow on a ride. Continue with your planning and find the Emperor before it's too late. Are we taking out the navy?" Y/n asked.

"I don't know yet. We haven't talked about it, but it's the next step to ensure the Emperor doesn't have any resources left. As soon as he's dead, New Theon will finally have peace."

"I would help, but I don't think it's my place," Kastor said as he aided Y/n. She got on Shadow and took the reins from Jungkook. "Stay safe, come back before nightfall."

"I will. Take care of Jihyun. I'm sorry, I would introduce myself, but..."

"He understands. More than you realize, he does," Jungkook said, patting Shadow's head. "Take care of Y/n, okay?"

Shadow neighed as Y/n pulled away. Together, Shadow and Y/n pranced off into the distance, and Jungkook watched them fade away from sight with a frown.

"I don't get it," Jungkook said as he observed the retreat. The sun set, and Y/n and Shadow were cloaked in a sheet of darkness. "We won. New Theon is free, Jihyun is saved, the Emperor can't win. I know she's going through more than I can comprehend, but I don't understand why she isn't staying to help us plan."

Kastor chuckled. It was drained of any humor. At best, it sounded like a desperate croak. Kastor turned to Jungkook and squeezed his shoulder. The old man had more wrinkles than he used to, and his hair was a dark gray that appeared black due to the night sky. Kastor smiled, but there was no joy inside his irises.

"You're all a bunch of kids. You don't understand the weight of war."

"Of course I do," Jungkook said. "I know how much she's going through, but she's fought her whole life for this. I thought she'd stay to help us plan the next phase."

"Jungkook, you don't get it."

"What don't I get?" Jungkook asked. Kastor released Jungkook's shoulder, and he couldn't tell if he missed the contact or not. Kastor backed away, creating distance between him and the castle. There were tears in his eyes that he held back as he opened his mouth to reply.

"She found something to fight for. And now, he's gone."

˚➶ 。˚𝓘 𝓕𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓜𝔂𝓼𝓮𝓵𝓯 𝓘𝓷 𝓨𝓸𝓾 ˚。➶˚

A/N: I know it's a shorter chapter, but seeing as the ending is soon and we have a climatic battle coming up, I figured a breather was needed. I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you liked seeing Jihyun safe. 

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