A CLOUD OF WORDS churned at the tip of my tongue, unable to come together and form any sort of coherent sentence. I couldn't focus. My mother was apparently dead. My dad was somewhere in this building. And now this weird lady — who supposedly knows me — just... has just appeared and hugged me.

It was too much.

I stood, frozen in her grasp, and the corners of my eyes started to burn with tears.

The butterfly woman's expression softened, and released me. She took a small step backwards, creating a bit more space between us, and smiled sadly. "I'm your Aunt Tessa," she said. As if that single fact explained absolutely everything I'd ever need to know.

I just sort of stared at her, waiting for the words to initiate some sort of 'aha!' moment inside my brain. "Aunt...Tessa?" I repeated.

"I'm your mother's older sister," Aunt Tessa elaborated. She tucked a messy strands of brown hair behind her ear. "We haven't really talked in a while. Last I saw you, you were a little bitty baby."

She paused, her expression morphing into something wistful. "Now just look at you." She folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself. "All tall and grown up!"

A small sigh escaped her, and she turned around, facing the nurse behind us. The older woman sipped on a a light blue straw, obviously listening to every word like her favorite show was on. Aunt Tessa smiled warmly at her. "Hello again. This is my niece. Can you let her father know that she's here?"

The nurse hastily lowered her drink and started typing. "Sure thing."

As Tessa spoke with the nurse, Natalie materialized at my side. Her elbow nudged my side. "Your aunt's like really pretty," she whispered. "That butterfly literally looks real."

The thoughts inside my brain raced, flitting about in a chaotic tornado, too fast to fully register inside my brain. Trying to pull some semblance of a memory from the depths of my subconscious of Aunt Tessa. Mom never talked about her family — she'd always avoided every question I ever had. Dad told me once that there'd been a big fight, but never specified who or what was involved.

So I didn't have much to go on.

There was something familiar about her though. A bubbled sense of warmth and kindness radiated from her, almost overwhelmingly. Her dark emerald dress flowed around her, her flared sleeves dancing as she gestured with her hands, talking animatedly with the nurse. She lifted a hand suddenly and brushed a strand of her messy hair behind her ear again — and it hit me.

She reminded me of my mom.

I felt my eyebrows furrow together, and forced my gaze to shift away from her. I couldn't focus on Aunt Tessa now. I had more important matters to handle.

"Your father should be here soon," Aunt Tessa's voice cut through the discord in my head. Her expression had twisted into something grim. She opened her mouth to say something else and then hesitated, her eyes focusing on something behind me. A small huff bristled past her lips.

"Speak of the devil."

My head snapped toward a pair of large brown doors decorated with big bold red letters that said, 'Medical personal only'. The automatic doors parted, and two figures stepped into view.

I bolted. Within seconds, I was across the room, arms thrown around him, tears streaming across my cheeks. Snot bubbled at my nose. Somehow, I managed to get out the one sentence that mattered most. "What happened to Mom?"

Two strong hands gripped my shoulders — and pushed me away, creating distance between us. Confused, I looked up and immediately flinched.

The phrase 'if looks could kill' flashed through my mind.

His expression was a mixture of sheer blazing anger and freezing cold ice. His hands were shoved into the pockets of his wrinkled khaki pants. His light blue button-down hung open, revealing a thin white shirt underneath and dark red splotches across his collar.

Nausea burned at the back of my throat. My jaw clenched. His sandy brown hair was tousled and unkempt. That meant that he'd been with another one of his 'clients'.

The anger that bristled through me brought a sharp, biting clarity to my thoughts. Tears raced down my cheeks, scorching my skin. I folded my arms across my chest, digging my nails into the heels of my palms. It took every ounce of my strength not to lash out. Not to start screaming and cussing him out.

"What's going on?" Each word dripped with venom. "Where's my mom?"

"I told you." His eyes sent a shiver down my spine — his pupils were massively dilated, almost completely overtaking the hazel color in his irises. The skin on my arms prickled with goosebumps. "She's dead. Died from...an overdose."

I wasn't sure that I'd heard him right. "Excuse me?"

"It was an overdose, Panaceia. Don't make me repeat myself again."

I heard Aunt Tessa make an angry noise and Natalie gasp softly. Both sounded incredibly distant — like a wall had formed suddenly between me and the rest of the world. His words replayed in my mind. It was like a broken record.

My mother...died from an overdose.

My mother, who hated any kind of medication and any form of drugs, had died...from an overdose.

"That's bullshit," I heard myself whisper.

If he heard it, he didn't answer. Instead, those almost completely black eyes shifted to the stranger standing beside me. "Did you get my message, Tessa?"

"Uh, hello!" I was so angry that my body trembled. "You weren't finished explaining how my mother managed to die from an overdose? Like what did she even fucking overdose on?"

There wasn't even a glance in my direction.

A bejeweled hand gently grasped my shoulder. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Aunt Tessa send my dad a nasty look. "Of course I did, asshole," she growled. "I wouldn't be here if I hadn't."

And then I watched the man who helped raise me give a curt nod, sucking in a sharp breath as those dark eyes met mine. He squared his shoulders, jaw clenched and movements rigid. His voice trembled — tone undeniably scathing. "Panaceia, this is your Aunt Tessa. Your mother's older sister. You'll be staying with her from now on."

The muscles in my face reacted before the words fully processed, my jaw dropping toward the floor. I somehow managed to tear my eyes away from him, throwing a confused look toward Aunt Tessa. "Wait, what?"

"Don't call me. Don't text me. Just delete my number. Tessa will be taking care of you from now on. I relinquished all parental rights and she's your official guardian going forward."

The air completely evaporated from my lungs. I stared at the strange man in front of me — at the man who used to build forts with me out of couch cushions and blankets. Who used to read me bedtime stories and play Dance Dance Revolution with me on the Wii. At the man who'd taught me how to ride a bike and how to swim. Who'd taught me how to throw a solid punch and who cheered me on at every single dance competition I'd ever participated in.

At the man who'd been caught, numerous times, with another woman. At the man who'd always been forgiven.

Until now.

A weird sounding laugh burst past my lips. It unsettled everyone within a three-foot radius. "Alright," I heard myself say. My voice was colder than ice, fueled by anger and hatred. "Cool. Go have fun with all your whores."

He visibly flinched, as though I'd slapped him — but I held his gaze, refusing to back down first.

Those unfamiliar dark eyes glossed with unshed tears. Pain overwhelmed his facial features, twisting his expression. For a moment, he just seemed to stand there. Silently absorbing each word. Then without another word, he turned and marched out of the hospital.

The bejeweled hand on my shoulder squeezed lightly, reminding me of its presence. I didn't react. Didn't dare move. I could feel the tears — hot and stinging — streaming down my cheeks in thin, warm streams. There was a sniffle behind me and Aunt Tessa's voice said, "This is just too much. Too much to take in at once."

The back of my throat felt like it was coated in barbed wire and salt.

Natalie seemed to snap out of her horrified state at that point. She appeared in my peripheral vision, hands reaching for me. Her lips moved around blubbered, almost incoherent words. She looked like a fish that'd been trapped on land. "Oh. Oh my gosh. Holy shit, Ceia."

Her arms curled around me, hugging me tight. Aunt Tessa's hand vanished from my shoulder and I heard her take a small step back, giving us some space. Natalie's whole body trembled, soft sobs racking through her thin frame. "I'm so sorry, Ceia," I heard her gasp in my ear. "That was just awful. I'm so sorry."

I stared blankly at the wall in front of me — at the nurse that sat behind the welcome desk, a mere foot away. Slowly, her horrified expression began to register inside my head. I felt so bad for her. This poor woman had just unwillingly witnessed a maelstrom of family issues.

The nurse caught my gaze. She stood, her chair rolling backward, away from her. She seemed distraught.

From the corner of my eye, I watched Aunt Tessa step closer to the desk. She smiled at the nurse, her eyes twinkling with an unreadable emotion. The nurse shifted her gaze to Aunt Tessa and paused. She blinked. A flash of something iridescent glistened across her irises. Then the nurse blinked again. Her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Can I help you, ladies?"

"We were just leaving," Aunt Tessa assured her. She glanced back over her shoulder at me and Nat, smiling sadly when she caught my eye. "Right girls?"

My head started to shake back and forth. "No. My mom. Where is my mom? I need to see her."

The nurse's eyes widened for a moment, and she rocked back in her chair, creating some distance between her and Aunt Tessa. She typed furiously at her keyboard for a moment. "It looks like she's still being examined." Her gaze shifted from her computer screen, meeting mine. "I don't know that it would be a good idea..."

Aunt Tessa's lips twisted with a frown. "Panaceia, I hear you," she said as she moved away from the desk. Her eyes were glassy again. "I agree with the nurse though. I don't think it would be a good idea. She's...well, she's not really in a good state right now."

"I want to see her," I insisted coldly.

Aunt Tessa's lips twisted with a frown. "Panaceia, I don't think that it would be best to see her right now. Her...well, she's not in a very good state at the moment. The doctors are still examining her."

"I want to see her," I insisted coldly.

"No," Aunt Tessa whispered. "No, sweetheart. You don't."

That brought the trembling back. I almost couldn't stand. "I want to see her," I repeated. My voice cracked. I sounded like I'd swallowed a frog.

Shaking her head, Aunt Tessa stepped closer. She placed a hand on my shoulder. "Listen to me. Let's go home and process all of this first. We can come back tomorrow, once the examination is complete. Right now, you need to remember your mother as she was."

I stared at her. "But... she overdosed."

Aunt Tessa stared right back, lips pressed into a firm line. I glanced over her shoulder at the nurse, absorbing the confused grimace her features had contorted into. My stomach dropped through my shoes.

Mom hadn't overdosed then. Something else had happened. Something worse.

I inhaled sharply, but no air entered my lungs. I tried again, and again. Faster and faster. Nothing worked. The air remained stagnant around me — teasing my lungs with a flash of relief every couple of hyperventilated breaths. I couldn't get enough air fast enough.

Aunt Tessa snapped her fingers. "Let's go to the car now," she said.

The weirdest feeling washed over me then. Like a cooling laser-beam was traveling down the length of my body, leaving a gentle numbness in its wake. My emotions evaporated. Before I could even process what was happening, my feet were moving toward the hospital doors. Sunlight blinded me as we stepped outside.

I wordlessly followed Aunt Tessa through the parking lot.

She pointed to an old blue and white striped Chevy truck that sat several rows back. "That's my truck over there. Your father dropped off your things earlier. Is there anything else that you think you might need?"

My mom.

The words died on my lips. I didn't answer. Natalie squinted in the sunlight and pointed to her car. "I parked over there. Your backpack and purse are still in my car, I think. Let me go get them."

I watched as she took off toward the car, her sandals smacking against the pavement. She opened the passenger door, pulled out my things, and then jogged back. When she got close enough, she held out the bags and sent me a worried smile. "Here. I put your phone in the front pocket."

"You are a very good friend," Aunt Tessa said warmly. She smiled at Natalie and reached out, taking her hand. "Thank you for all that you've done today. Do you feel comfortable driving home by yourself?"

Natalie's eyes glossed over with a fresh batch of tears. "Yeah, totally. I should be fine." She wiped at her eyes, smearing her eyeliner, and then pulled me into another hug. "You better call me tonight. Are you going to come to school tomorrow?"

"Probably not." Aunt Tessa spoke before I could. She sent me a reassuring look and continued, "I think it would be best if Panaceia took a few days off. I think we all need to recover."

I nodded. "Yeah."

Natalie squeezed me tighter. Then she released me and stepped back. "Don't take too long. I'm going to miss seeing your gorgeous face at school."

A snort escaped me. I honestly felt like I was just kind of floating around. None of this felt real. "I'll miss you too," I managed to whisper back.

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hey there, friends! :) i know it's been a while...but I'm determined to finish Ceia and Roman's story. Thank you so much for your patience with me!!

 i've been rewriting a lot of these first few chapters and am hoping to start updating regularly on tuesdays. I seriously appreciate you all so much and i can't wait to post the next chapter next tuesday! :D

love, ash ♡

p.s. I'm not 100% about the chapter graphics so i might come back through and delete those lmaooo