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Disappointment and Guilt

"Head up, shoulders back," Dash recited for the eighth time. Vale's fake, polite grin had grown tight under Dash's endless list of instructions. "You have to look delicate and strong." Dash continued watching Vale's poor attempt to move gracefully about the room in a pair of heels.

"You've got the strong part down. Now just the... gentle creature part," Dash said with an amused grin, recalling Vale back to the alley where she had taken down a man twice her size who had called her just that.

"You're lucky I'm in these," Vale gestures to her shoes. "Or I'd kick your ass."

Dash placed his hands on his hips, "Now THAT," He raised a brow as he came to stand in front of her. "...is something I'd love to see. The day you can take anyone down in a pair of impractical shoes will be the thing of legends."

He reached out behind him and placed a large book on her head, forcing Vale to teater slightly until she could keep it up.

Dash moved back to the table he has been using for the last several hours and plucked up a second book. Books were rare, with most stories and information being transferred to tablets and screens years ago. Dash looked down at the book with a small smile, suddenly oblivious to Vale and swung himself up onto the table. Settling down, he opened the book.

"Your masquerade boots were custom made to catch you whenever you felt off balance. We can't assume they'll let you keep your shoes," Dash finished, his eyes scanning the pages.

Vale let out a slow breath, hoping to calm herself enough to erase the strong desire to throw the book on her head at Dash and continued to walk. Over the last several hours, they had discussed cutlery, manners and how to address those of the Elite class.

The only thing that kept her from stalking out of the room in a rage was the idea of saving Sky. Get in. Find him. Save him. Save humanity. The silent chant had become a loud idea in her mind. Clearing away her anger and fear whenever she called on it.

"You've gotten a lot better at that," Dash said from behind the book.

"Right. You aren't even paying attention," Vale said with a roll of her eyes.

Dash's green eyes flicked up to hers. "Do you want me to?"

The book fell off of Vale's head, followed by an awkward silence. Vale snatched the book off the ground and held it in her hands, staring at it with feigned fascination.

"Just because you don't see someone, doesn't mean they don't see you." Dash snapped his book closed. Vale made the mistake of looking up at Dash, and was rewarded with a sudden lack of balance.

Cursing herself internally, she steadied herself and chucked the book at him to regain some sense of control. Dash snatched it from the air with a wide grin, pleased by her reaction.

"And there's the temper." He held up three fingers. "Three hours. That's how long it took me to get you to lose all sense of composure. And I wasn't even trying."

Vale gritted her teeth. "You are insanely annoying."

Dash stood up and walked over to Vale, stopping a foot away. "And you need to build up an immunity to that." His grin grew hard, his eyes flashing like gems hit with light. "Trust me, you think I'm awful, just wait til you meet my relatives."

Vale pulled off her heels and tossed them to the side. "You're one to talk. You got into a brawl with Sky the last time I saw you two together."

Dash shrugged. "Family reunions do that. Besides, he started it."

"Only because you taunted him!"

"Taunts are fair game. It's whoever throws the first punch that loses." Dash laughed. "Do you really think a bunch of Elites will care if someone calls you names? It's whoever throws the first punch. And trust me Vale..." Dash leaned forward, his jet-black hair falling along his jaw, eyes dark. "You will always be first."

Vale's hands rolled into fists. "I can see it on your face. If I was lying you'd have laughed it off instead of looking like you want to hit me." I hate how well he reads me.

"So how..." Vale swallowed her pride. "What do you suggest? How do I not..." Vale stammered. "How do I stay calm?"

Dash crossed his arms, his eyes unreadable. "You count the cost." Vale waited, knowing there was more to his answer, watching as he put together his words carefully, like he was calling on memories to guide his words.

"You have everyone's lives counting on every decision you make while you are at the Devanus house. You can't let yourself forget what will happen if you fail."

Vale let out an unsteady breath. Dash placed his hands on her shoulders, keeping her focused. "Every moment matters. You will be watched, judged, and because of who you are, you will be expected to fail." Dash continued, before Vale could turn away or protest. "But you are stronger, sharper and more clever than they know. You have a goal that will feed your motivation like nothing they have."

Dash gave her shoulders a single squeeze. "And even if Kebar thinks you are a threat, he will keep you around to watch Sky's reaction. Sky has spent years there. He won't show his true feelings, but he will do everything in his power to keep you safe. You can do this."

"No chance of you coming with me?" Vale asked, flustered by the pep talk.

Dash let go of her and took several steps back. "No." He looked away. "They'd never let me go. They'd either kill me, or chain me up to keep me from leaving." Dash looked around the room. "If you fail, I'll have a lot of bodies to fix."

The room was heavy with the idea of war and death. "I won't," Vale promised.

"This is very risky," Dash swallowed. "Don't lie."

Vale changed the subject. "What do you count? When you have to stay calm. What cost do you count?"

Dash shoved his hands into his pockets, his face falling slightly. "I spend my days watching people trust me with their lives. I can't afford to lose my composure when my selfish act means wasting time that could cost someone their life."

His next set of words were barely audible. "I learned that the hard way." He blinked, coming back to himself. Turning his back on Vale he walked over to the table and sat down. "My father had a terrible bedside manner."

Dash swung his legs back and forth in a rhythmic pattern. "He would tell the truth, scare patients and watch them while they cried with a distant look."

His legs stopped swinging. "I made a promise to be more like my mother." The mask of jokes and calm fell and Dash's face was filled with a pained and beautiful smile as he mentioned his mom. "She could make anyone laugh and had a calm energy about her that made you know instantly that you'd be okay."

"You have that," Vale said into the silence after a moment. "Didn't even occur to me until after I left you alone with Sky that first time that you could have killed him."

Dash didn't meet her eyes. He gave a sharp nod, his gaze on the ground. "Well then something good has come from all this. I'm honored to have earned your trust."

Vale held up her hands, "now don't go getting all cocky about it."

Dash laughed. "Too late. But that has nothing to do with you. I was born awesome."

Vale groaned. "That'll teach me to say nice things."

Dash snot her a grin. "Yes it will. Giving me any sort of kindness is a dangerous gamble. I might actually believe you feel something other than infuriation when you look at me." Something flashed in Dash's eyes.

Vale looked away. "I don't hate you. It's more like... irritation."

"Good to know you are still irritatingly honest," Dash said sarcastically as he stood up. He moved to stand before Vale, his eyes dark. "But even if you find me irritating, there is something more to it."

Vale crossed her arms. "And what would that be?"

The smile had left his face, replaced by a raw look. "That is for you to say."

Vale felt a set of butterflies together tangle inside of herself. "Trust."

Vale took a step back and found herself backed up against a wall. "Is that all?" Dash whispered, his breath tickling her face.

Vale swallowed, forcing herself to meet his eyes, suddenly afraid of the tug to drink them in, to get lost in the deep pools of green. "Yes," she managed.

"You are normally so irritatingly honest. Don't die over a lie that isn't worth keeping," Dash replied.

"Why must I feel anything?" Heat rose in Vale's cheeks. "Why are you the one asking these questions?" Vale whispered.

"Because you haven't asked me," Dash murmured. "And I know you never will." Vale was rendered speechless, and in her silence Dash spoke again, before she could run, or make excuses. "So I will say it plainly. Because this very well may be our last conversation."

Dash's eyes were suddenly ablaze, the sudden transformation from toying flirtation to outright want was startling. "I know your heart is not with you. And I would normally say nothing. What would be the use of telling you how I feel when you are in love with my cousin."

Dash swallowed and took an unsteady breath. "But if things go badly, I don't want to look back and remember how much of a coward I was for not expressing how much I cared about you when you were here in front of me. When I had the chance."

Dash's fingers came up to cup Vale's face but paused inches away. "And I know that anything you feel for me is a mere shadow for what you feel for Sky. But I want you to know, that you, Vale, have turned my life into a chaotic mess of frustrating wants that I don't know what to do with."

His hands dropped to his sides. "I won't say another word, other than to say this..." Dash took a long moment to look at Vale, memorizing her features. "I've never been so jealous of Sky. And I've never been so thankful that he has found someone who loves him enough to risk everything to save him."

He reached out and cupped Vales face tenderly, his warm hands soft against her cheeks. "So thank you for saving him in more ways than one." He moved to pull away, but Vale placed her hands over his, keeping him close.

They were both quiet, staring into each other's eyes in an unspoken moment of goodbyes. Vale moved to speak, but Dash shook his head. "Please." Vale closed her mouth. "Don't try to make me feel better." Dash pulled his hands away.

"I just... needed you to know." Then he turned and left Vale standing against the wall, her heart pounding wildly, her mind spinning and filled with a mix of disappointment and guilt.

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