Song: Drag The Lake
Artist: The Amity Affliction
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Gerard's P.O.V.

A/N i had a dream last night in which Frank and i were friends and we saw Gerard at Walmart in the shrimp section (isn't even a thing lol) and we started hanging out. Frank saw all my visible scars and grabbed my arm. He pressed my arm against his and showed me he had the same ones on his arms and called them "our tens". That's what I'm calling them now because scar is such an ugly word. (But such a cool character) They're my tens. - E
-sorry I'm retarded I'll shut up-

-Time Skip Two Months-

Let's go."

"No."

"Gerard... Let's. Fucking. Go."

It's been like this for the past few days now ever since I got home from that ratchet ass hospital; Mikey trying to get me to the kitchen whilst i refuse food, him still bringing me food. Me still refusing.

"Gerard... You haven't eaten in two days. You're hungry. Eat." He begged.

No I'm not. I shook my head and turned my nose up at him so he knew i wasn't going to eat. He sighed and let his head fall in defeat. "Gerard if you don't get your ass out of this bed and into that kitchen I'm going to drag your lifeless-" he abruptly stopped when he caught my now tear glossed over eyes, "shit I'm sorry, I'm really sorry I didn't mean it like that I just- I want you to eat something. We're all worried about you."

"Of I do will you please leave me alone tomorrow?" I sighed after a few minutes. I didn't want him near me anymore right now. I just want to cry myself to sleep if I'm being honest.

"If i do can you please leave me alone?" I asked a little too harshly than I intended.

"Yes." He said, ignoring my tone and perking his head up to look at me immediately after that question left my lips.

"And tomorrow," I added.

He looked at me with a sad expression, "but Ger-"

"Tomorrow." I finalized and walked out of my bedroom. He sighed behind me, begrudgingly mumbling a 'fine' as i kept walking. Once in the kitchen I grabbed the first thing I saw, which happened to be a loaf of sandwich bread. I dropped it onto the counter dramatically, making sure my brother was watching before grabbing the tie and untwisting it. Once the bag was opened i pulled out a single slice, looked Mikey dead in the eyes and shoved the bread into my mouth. closing the bag, I threw it back onto the counter carelessly and began the walk back to my room. "I want to see you fucking swallow it. I'm not stupid, Gee."

I turned around and shot him a glare and huffed, leaning against the counter and finished the food, glaring daggers at him the entire time.

"Thank you Gerard!" He called as I walked off.

"Mhm." I said walking back and shutting my bedroom door.loudly.

I was able to go back to school in three weeks, which I was absolutely dreading. I'm sure everybody knows what happened, and I don't want to be known as the kid in school who got raped and stabbed in the bathroom at school.

Yeah.. I figured out he carved 'Emo' into my stomach. Which I only found that out because I couldn't stop staring at the scars his stupid knife made.

The doctors refused to tell me.

I hated looking at those scars, I had enough of my own to be ashamed of, and now I get the reminder every time I look at my stomach of what he did to me. I should have never called Frank. He should have never picked up, he was in the middle of class! I should have just been left there. I should have just died.

I sighed and layed back down on my bed curled up under the covers. I turned to face away from the door, soon after I started crying into my pillow.

I still couldn't get those images out of my head. The blood, the blade, the feeling of him forcing himself against me, it's like I was reliving it every day.

Of course nobody knew that, I didn't show that I was still being ripped apart on the inside. I just put a mask on when I was around anybody else. I did it everyday before that, i can do it some more.

I fell asleep crying, like I have been for the past two months.

***

"Gee?" I heard a soft voice calling.

I groaned and snuggled more into my blankets. The last fucking thing I want to do is get up right now. My entire body felt like I was being weighed down by 100lbs weights. My heart felt like it had fallen into my feet and I just didn't have the motivation to get up.

I felt the bed dip in beside me on the edge. I soon felt something soft graze my lips before pushing down.

I groaned a little bit more, it was warm and i liked it. It made my mouth feel tingly so I pushed my lips up against it before it pulled away.

I made a sound of disapproval, opening my eyes.

The thing smiled a toothy smile at me. As soon as I caught sight of that all too familiar grin, it felt as if that smile lifted the weights from my body and caused my heart to levitate back into my chest.

"Frank!" I squealed, throwing my arms around him and pulling him down with me to cuddle up against him.

He giggled. "Good morning to you too." He said into my chest, but it was muffled.

"Mhm." I hummed, resting my cheek on his head.

Frank eventually pulled away from my grip and slid up so he could rest his head on my pillows. "So what do you want to do today?" He asked draping his arm over my waist, running his fingers up and down my spine. I could tell he was careful not to hurt the stitches even though he wasn't even touching my stomach.

"Nowhere."

He sighed. "Baby, you need to get out of this house. You haven't been anywhere except therapy."

"Which is almost over thank fuck." He knitted his eyebrows together and frowned. "When did you start cursing so much?"

We sat in silence for a long time, enjoying the company. It felt like we had sat there for hours, which in reality was only half an hour.

"When do you get those out?" He finally spoke.

He moved his hand from my back, ghosting it over the cuts. "These, I mean."

I felt a pit of shame rise in me as I grabbed his hand and pushed it away, covering my stomach with my arm under the covers.

"Gee... " Frank said, placing his hand on my arm.

"Just don't... Please." I whispered trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

Frank hasn't seen the cuts, he just knows that they're there. I don't want him to see what he carved into me, I don't want him to see how ugly I am.

"Okay, I won't," he sighed. "I just want you to know you're still perfect to me." He cooed, kissing my head as I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck, causing him to let out a quiet giggle.

"I love you."

"I love you too,"

We sat in more silence for a while, just enjoying the presence of eachother and letting my mind finally go blank for a long time.

"Gerard?" He asked.

I hummed I'm response.

"If I were to ask you why you're so ashamed to let me see the scars on your stomach... Would you be upset?" He asked softly.

Yes, yes I would.

"I just don't want you to see is all." I said trying to brush off the situation.
But nothing ever goes my way apparently.

"But why... I mean, I won't think less of you or anything and I know your really self conscious about it but... " he trailed off.

I sighed.

Because they make me fucking ugly. That's why.

"I'll tell you, just not today." He looked at me defeated before nodding and mumbling. "Okay... I'm sorry for bothering you about it." He sighed kissing my forehead.

"Its okay, you can't bug me if you've tried... I'd know.. You really have tried." I giggled, bringing my leg up over his waist and draping an arm over him, letting sleep once jagain take me over.

A/N i didn't proof read this cuz it's 3am, i hope you enjoyed this very boring filler; sorry it took me so long to update this! I had been homeless with my dad for a long, long time. But I'm finally back home in Mississippi now and have a place to stay! Still can't afford food though so yay. If y'all see any errors or things that don't make sense plz let me know because my editing was glitching and stuff. Bye!!

P.S. how would y'all feel about a Smutty Oneshot book? I'd be down for suggestions! If you agree and have any suggestions just inbox me and we'll sort it out :) Love ya!!